The Beautiful Side of the Moon

by Leye Adenle

  Brother Moses sat next to Adesua in the front and I got in behind them. It was the first time I had ever been a passenger in the back of my own car.

  Adesua was silent. She started the engine and pulled out. She didn’t as much as cast an angry look at me in the mirror. If I couldn’t give her my soul, what could I do?

  ‘You can bring it back,’ Brother Moses said.

  ‘How?’

  ‘By going where it is.’

  ‘But you said nothing can escape death.’

  ‘I know a great magician who once did.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Your father. And so can the son.’

  ‘But he is dead.’

  ‘Yes. But he once went into death and returned.’

  ‘You mean he died and came back?’

  ‘No. Think of death as another dimension. He discovered another way into this dimension and he went there.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘No one knows. Maybe just because he could. He was a great magician, and so are you. You can do everything he could do.’

  ‘But he is dead.’

  ‘Yes. Now he is. But then he wasn’t. No one knows how he did it, but once you start to believe in who you are, you too will be able to go into death and bring back that which has been lost.’

  I looked at Adesua for a reaction. She drove in silence. Perhaps it wasn’t really her. Perhaps the real Adesua was still leading them away and what was driving my car was a facsimile of her. A soulless avatar.

  Soulless. The word rang through my mind. I was responsible for the loss of her soul. What was the effect of having no soul, anyway? I knew it must be infinitely terrible, but in what way and with what ramifications, I had no idea.

  Adesua looked at Brother Moses.

  ‘You really should learn to guard your thoughts,’ Brother Moses said. ‘It is rude to call someone soulless. What ramification? When she does die, her soul will have been dead for many years. She will then spend the rest of eternity as the person she was on the day she first died.

  Whatever she does after that day, whatever joy she’s had, whatever love she’s known, all of these things, will be lost because her soul will not have experienced them.’

  ‘Unless I bring it back. Unless you bring it back.’ Adesua turned round to look at me.

  ‘Let’s get one thing straight. I don’t need you to save me or to save my soul. I knew this was a bad idea from the start. Five people are already dead. The last thing I want is for you to do something stupid and get yourself killed as well. Just stay away from me and my soul, and maybe no one else will get killed trying to save your foolish arse.’

  It was Adesua in the car, alright. And she was as pissed as anyone would be if they’d been killed in the future due to someone else’s mistake and their soul was lost through no fault of their own.

  When Adesua was done she returned to driving, staring straight ahead. Brother Moses did not get involved. I sat quietly and remorsefully on the back seat thinking of Alsatians, Suya, Afrobeat, UB40, Santa Claus, Albert Einstein, Moluwe, Herbert Macaulay, Dracula. Anything but how I was going to learn magic and go and get her soul back.

  Chapter 16 A Sleight of Hand

  Trying not to think of something is to continually think of that very thing.

  I realised I needed to be distracted if I was to stop thinking so loudly that Brother Moses and, I now realised, Adesua as well, would not be able to read my mind. I looked out the window. I’d not been paying attention to where Adesua was taking us. I realised we were on a road in Lekki phase one. From the way she’d slowed down, it seemed she was going to turn into the new automatic car wash that just opened there. But surely my car was not that dirty, and even if it were, we were going to see a great magician as a matter of considerable and yet to be fully explained urgency, and we did not have time for this. Unless, of course, the great magician worked at the car wash?

  She turned into the yard.

  A car drove out the other end of the car wash machine and Adesua positioned my car to go in next. It made no sense. A tall, dark fellow who I’d tipped a few times came to the window and looked surprised to see who was driving. He looked in the back and his face broke into a smile.

  ‘Bro, long time,’ he said and extended his hand to me through Adesua’s window, causing her to lean away to avoid him.

  ‘Inside and outside?’ the fellow asked. His name was Ali, according to his name badge which I’d never bothered to read before then.

  ‘Top only,’ Adesua said.

  He said, ‘Top to bottom?’

  She said, ‘Top to top.’

  ‘Where?’ he said.

  ‘The glasshouse,’ she said.

  ‘Ok. Roll up all your windows and don’t use the horn.’

  He stood away from her window as she rolled it up and he waved us on with a yellow rag that had been hanging from his back pocket.

  I was still trying to make sense of the conversation he and Adesua just had when she rolled slowly onto the conveyor. The yellow, blue and red rotating brushes got closer as we were drawn into the machine. The windshield became blurred under the spray of water and the frenzy of brushes. Inside the car became dark as we were completely enveloped.

  Then, as we came out, the sun shone in brightly through the windshield and, in time, through the rest of the windows as we exited the wash. The vast open desert ahead of us looked too real to be an optical illusion or a painting on a wall. I turned to look at the car wash machine we’d just been through. There was nothing behind us except brown sand beneath and blue sky above. ‘What’s going on?’ I said. ‘What just happened?’ Adesua kept driving straight into the endless desert, kicking up sand in our wake. Brother Moses said, ‘Relax, Master Osaretin. You’re almost home now. Just relax.’

  I opened my eyes and did not know where I was. A few seconds later, I was sure, it would all come to me and it would be just like any other episode of waking up and not knowing where you are for a few confused moments before you realise where you are. I sat up on the white sheets and felt the bed wobble under me. I instinctively planted my hands and by so doing caused another gentle wave that slowly dissipated when I stopped moving. It was disconcerting. The sheets were white. The floor was white. The ceiling was white. The curtains were white. The curtains stretched from ceiling to floor all around. All white. I did not know where I was.

  ‘Adesua! Brother Moses! Adesua! Brother Moses!’

  The curtain fluttered in front of me. It parted at the bottom. A black cat walked in silently on its little paws. Its raised tail dragged the curtain with it as it sauntered into the room. It looked up at me with its yellow and black eyes and it continued round the unstable bed. It circumvented me, then once it had arrived back at the curtains where it had come in, it stopped mid-stride and turned its head to look at me. It winked, in the indecipherable way cats do, then it looked away, used its head to open a path through the curtain, and it was gone.

  I leaned forward, the bed wobbled, and I whispered, ‘Adesua. Brother Moses.’

  The cat’s head appeared through the curtains, its eyes on me. It took a step into the room, paused, paw raised and perfectly still. It took one more stride and stopped, then another, all the while looking at me. I got the feeling it was going to attack me.

  ‘Adesua! Brother Moses!’

  The cat turned and left the room again.

  I was afraid to leave the bed. I was afraid of the black cat and the wobbly bed and the white room. I looked about. I couldn’t see any source of light but the room was bright. What was beyond the curtains?

  Where was I? Where were Brother Moses and Adesua?

  I was terrified.

  The curtain fluttered. As if it had been pinched at two spots by invisible hands, it began to lift and part. I held my breath. The curtain stayed up by itself and Brother Moses walked in, smiling.

  ‘Master Osaretin,’ he said, ‘everybody can hear you.

  Reginald said you didn’t greet him.’
r />   ‘Reginald? Who is Reginald?’

  ‘He came in here to get you. You didn’t say hello.’

  ‘No one came in here. Oh. A cat. A cat came in here. Is that its name?’

  ‘His name. He is one of the resident Grand Magicians here, but I would advise you not to listen to him too much. He claims he has discovered a new dimension but his theories are suspect. He talks freely about his discovery of elastic time but he hasn’t performed any tricks using his new dimension. He claims that dinosaurs are only as large as pigeons. He says that it is the expansion of time that stretches everything. All matter, he claims, will one day appear gigantic to other life forms to come. One day, he claims, our bones will be dug up by future humans and they will say we were giants. But he is a Grand Magician and you should have been more respectful to him.’

  ‘A cat. It was a cat.’

  ‘Reginald. Grand Magician of the First Order. If you will follow me, there are others waiting for you.’

  ‘Where are we?’

  ‘A place where magicians meet. Come. Let’s go and meet the rest. They are all here for you. They are waiting for you.’

  I tried to get off the bed without making it wobble. Brother Moses was by my side when I looked up. He offered me his hand. I took it and climbed out of the un- stable bed. I looked back and couldn’t see what the white mattress was lying upon. I looked under it. It had absolutely no support.

  Brother Moses had passed through the curtain. I hurried after him, suddenly feeling uneasy to be alone with the floating bed.

  I entered a wide white hall with a double height ceiling

  and a vast glass wall that looked out onto rocky terrain and a cliff several metres away. On the other side of the cliff, far far away, mountains stood, their peaks stretching dizzyingly into the sky. Brother Moses was standing with his back to the glass wall in front of a group of men and women, all different races, all older than me, all dressed in elaborate outfits of various colours, with oversized lapels, glistening studs, and sequins. The black cat flexed its tail in front of them. They were all looking at me and smiling, like Brother Moses.

  ‘Where is Adesua?’ I said.

  ‘She’s not here,’ Brother Moses said.

  ‘Where is she?’

  ‘She is not here. Look. The rest are arriving.’

  He pointed out of the window. Everyone, including Reginald the cat, looked. Outside, beyond the cliff, hundreds of tiny luminescent dots were scattered across the blue sky. I walked to the huge glass pane. The figures grew larger. They got closer. They were people. Flying people. Their clothes flapped in their standing or sitting positions as they were carried by an invisible force. It was the most amazing sight I had ever seen. One by one the flying people landed on their feet and gracefully transitioned to normal pace walking. Double doors opened and they walked in, men, women, old, young, tall, short, white, black, every form of human. They all gathered together, talking to each other as if they were continuing conversations that had begun as they flew, and formed a close circle round me.

  A plump Aborigine woman with the face of a child and grey hair that moved in slow motion about her head, as if it was being blown by the wind, was first to talk to me. She said, ‘Are you the one? Show us something. Do magic.’

  She looked keen and excited, as did all the other faces surrounding me. The crowd parted and a tall black man with a grey moustache and goatee, wearing a white suit with tails and a white top hat, and carrying a white cane with a silver knob, walked through and stood in front of me.

  ‘Master Osaretin Osagiemwenagbon,’ he said. ‘Do you come today of you own free will?”

  I did not know what to say. Brother Moses was suddenly by my side. He leaned and whispered into my ear, ‘I do.’

  I repeated, ‘I do.’

  ‘Were you coerced by anyone here today, or by others not now present but whom you, if the opportunity arose, could identify?’

  Brother Moses whispered into my ear, loudly enough for everyone to hear, that I must say, ‘No.’

  I said, ‘No.’

  ‘And do you now wish to learn the secrets of magic as practiced by the magicians here today, and the magicians before them, and the magicians before the magicians before them, and so on and so on to the very end and be- ginning of time with no end and no beginning?’

  ‘I do,’ Brother Moses whispered.

  ‘I do.’

  ‘Observe.’

  The man showed me both his bare palms. Holding the right hand up, he put his left hand into his jacket and pro- duced a note of a currency I did not recognise. Using the thumb and index of both hands, while the other fingers remained flared for me to see, he folded the note several times till it was a square about one inch across.

  He held the folded money between the thumb and index finger of his right hand and once again showed me his left palm. He folded the fingers of his left hand into a funnel and, holding the note up for me to see once again, he placed it into the hole he’d made in his left hand. He folded in the fingers of his right hand except for his index finger, which he used to push the folded money into the cavity of his left hand. He showed me his bare right hand then he waved it over his bunched left hand and, present- ing the left hand to me, told me to blow.

  Brother Moses whispered in my ear, ‘Blow.’ I blew onto the fist.

  The man opened up his left palm and the money had vanished.

  With the index finger of his empty left hand he directed my attention to his right hand, which he turned around. The folded note was wedged into the middle of his right palm.

  ‘This is the first trick,’ the man said. ‘It is sleight of hand. You shall now demonstrate it as proof of your proficiency and worthiness.’ He unfolded the note, smoothened it and presented it to me.

  Chapter 17 The Great Schism

  How can I describe how I felt? I had learnt of magic and of great magicians. I had travelled back in time. I had watched men and women fly as if it were nothing. I had gone through a car wash in Lagos and come out the other side into a mountainous desert. I had learnt a great discovery, that normal life is a cat’s wink away from the extraordinary. I was in the midst of great magicians and they were inviting me to become one of them.

  I took the money from the magician in white and looked around at the eager faces watching me in anticipation. I wished Adesua was there, to see me pass my first test and be initiated into that to which she already belonged.

  I refolded the note along the fold lines on it. I held it up between the fingers of my right hand and showed my fingers. My heart swelled with expectation and with fear for I didn’t know if I could do the trick, but yet I believed I could.

  Brother Moses placed his hands undermine from the side. He held my hands and guided my fingers. He formed my left hand into a receptacle and made me place the money into it with my right. He folded back the fingers of my right hand except for the index and we both pushed the money into the hole of my left hand. Then he straightened the fingers of my right hand, with the index still in the left, joined them together and covered my left fist with it. He pushed my right index through my left hand, pushing the money down and moving the joined fingers of my right hand down at the same time. The note, hidden from my audience, pushed through into my right fingers and he placed my thumb on it. He pulled my right hand down to my side, turned my fisted left hand to the magician in white and pulled my fingers open.

  They all clapped. It was nothing but a trick and I had been helped to perform it, yet they all clapped and cheered as if I had done something great. Reginald the cat raised himself onto his hind legs and silently clapped with his black paws.

  ‘Do you have any questions for me?’ the magician said.

  Brother Moses whispered in my ear, ‘I do.’

  I repeated the same, ‘I do.’

  ‘What is it?’

  Brother Moses whispered, ‘Who am I?’

  I repeated, ‘Who am I?’

  The magician said, ‘It is not fo
r any being, now created or to be created, to tell you who you are. This great mystery is yours alone. Through the course of your training, you shall learn many things. Among these will be something that is yours alone. Guard it well when you discover it.

  ‘Have you any other question for me?’

  Brother Moses whispered, ‘Yes.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘What is it?’

  Brother Moses whispered, ‘What is your name?’

  ‘What is your name?’

  ‘I am Professor Ochuko. I am a very great magician of the highest level of all magicians.’

  With that he shook my hand and the rest of the magicians clapped and cheered, stepping forward in turn to shake my hand and pat my back and embrace me into their sweet, flowery scents. I had become one of them. Now to learn some real magic; especially how to get Adesua’s soul back.

  When all of the rest had gathered into groups, chat- ting, drinking, and eating cake served on gold trays by Brother Moses and the resident Great and Grand Magicians, Professor Ochuko held my hand and led me away to a quiet corner where three white seats with conical bottoms surrounded a round white table in the middle, also balanced on the tip of its cone. I hesitated to sit, in case I upset the balance of the cone. I watched Professor Ochuko sit without causing his seat to move and I gently sat as well.

  ‘You must have many questions,’ he said. ‘You may now ask freely all you wish to know.’

  I wanted to get Adesua’s soul back. I concentrated hard on this one thought and stared him in the face.

  ‘Are you trying to tell me something?’ he said.

  Ok. That didn’t work. ‘How can I get someone’s soul back?’ I said.

  ‘You are talking about Adesua. It’s a tragic thing, what happened. But you must not blame yourself for it. Things happen. People die. Souls are lost. There are bigger challenges ahead of you and ahead of us all. You have to move on.’