A Certain Magical Index, Vol. 16

by Kazuma Kamachi

  “I am also concerned,” said William, “about why the royal family’s faction is trying to expand its sphere of influence through drastic measures. You know the United Kingdom is made up of three factions—the royal family, the Knights, and the Puritans. The royal family is easily influenced by the Puritans. I believe it correct to assume something happened there.”

  The Knight Leader appeared to think of the Puritans’ leader. The Archbishop—Laura Stuart.

  With her position as top of one of the three factions, she was in an equivalent position to the Knight Leader. This knight probably didn’t appreciate that fact, though. She was just that ominous a person.

  William continued. “The problems extend outside the United Kingdom’s borders. Roman Orthodoxy, Russian Catholicism, and Academy City are all showing unsettling movements. The world is trying to change. And such change causes organizations to run rampant.”

  “As a member of the Knights’ faction, I would think we also have the option of stabilizing England.”

  “I do not believe that would solve everything on its own. This incident was a good example. I choose to protect from the outside. You need to protect from the inside. If we do this, the breadth of our choices will expand. It increases the probability that one of us can be stopped if we do go out of control.”

  “No point debating this anymore, then,” said the Knight Leader in a lonely tone. Then, as if to ward that away, he took the bottle of scotch from his sack and pushed it at William. “A parting gift. Chamberlain even said this was his best stuff this year.”

  “…This much would be wasted on one person.”

  “Then find some good comrades on your travels. Good enough to share it with.”

  His foppish expression caused William to sigh. They would always be a knight and a mercenary. He was honestly surprised they’d gotten along so well before now.

  “Ah yes,” said William. “A craftsman should have received an order for an escutcheon. Have him cancel it. If it survives, I feel like my regrets will, too.”

  Those were the parting words of a mercenary.

  No special ceremony or etiquette. The Knight Leader had displayed himself as a land-owning noble, so William responded in the mercenary way, as grass without roots.

  When the mercenary left, the Knight Leader muttered to himself.

  “…I can’t do that.”

  The third princess looked at him, but he didn’t seem to realize he was actually speaking aloud.

  “…Damn it, I can’t get rid of it like that.”

  EPILOGUE

  Cicerone to Further Disturbance

  True_Target_Is…

  Touma Kamijou awoke in a hospital bed.

  He was used to this room by now. He must have been moved out of District 22 to District 7, where the frog-faced doctor was. Every time he was hospitalized, perhaps because of his link to all these incidents, they took the time to bring him to this single-person room with no other patients. He was actually a little nervous that they might have been seeing him as a massive nuisance.

  “Oh, oh—have you woken up?”

  That was Itsuwa, who was sitting in a pipe chair set up for a guest visit. Kamijou tried to sit up, but his body wouldn’t move. And it wasn’t just his deep wounds doing the talking there; he felt a strange sense of exhaustion—he had no energy at all. It felt like the core of his tiredness was spread throughout his whole body. As he wondered in confusion about this unaccustomed sensation, Itsuwa sighed in relief and relaxed.

  “I-it’s only natural you can’t move. You slipped out of the hospital when you were supposed to have absolute bed rest and went back to the battlefield, and then you pulled off a surprise attack against Acqua.”

  He asked Itsuwa a few things—after they’d fought off Acqua of the Back, no civilians or Amakusa members had died. But it didn’t feel real at all.

  Actually, he couldn’t remember much of what had happened after sneaking out. He felt like he’d run into Mikoto on the way, but how much of that had been a dream? Still, he was fundamentally hiding the fact that he was an amnesiac, so he wouldn’t talk much about not remembering parts of events. For now, he smiled vaguely.

  “…Still, well…That was crazy. Acqua was God’s Right Seat and a saint at the same time, right? And you beat him…Does that mean I witnessed a historical moment?

  “Y-you were the one who did the most! In fact, it was a miracle we even beat a saint, and on top of that, we did it without any losses—it’s like Santa Claus tripped and all the presents came out of his bag at once and flew all over the game board, and…!!”

  For some reason, Itsuwa went red in the face and started waving her arms in front of her surprisingly large chest…Well, anyway, the takeaway was that Amakusa was amazing for beating him, right? It was a super-sloppy judgment, since Kamijou didn’t know anything about the world of sorcery.

  Though in reality, it had actually been Itsuwa holding the key—the Saintbreaker—who had delivered the finishing blow, but she didn’t seem to realize that whatsoever. Which was worse: a natural, airheaded idiot or a serious, humble one? Anyway, he could sum it up as incredibly unfair from Acqua’s point of view.

  “Blah…Wait, what day is it? I-I’m still okay on attendance, right?! Crap, I feel like I probably need to make sure of that or something bad will happen!! I feel like incidents have been happening one after another lately!!”

  “Oh no, you mustn’t get up!!”

  Itsuwa grabbed his shoulders and tried to push him back down onto the bed when he tried to get up. As a result, their faces rapidly neared. They were a little less than five centimeters apart. Frankly speaking, Itsuwa’s surprised, blushing face had filled his view. He got the sense that the air between their faces had turned into a soft wall, but for some reason, he didn’t consider the option of pulling away.

  And then…

  “………………………………Touma, you’re the same as always.”

  Prompted by the low voice, he looked over and saw a girl, in other words, Index, standing idly near the entrance to the hospital room. She came with a bonus: a broken flower vase on the floor at her feet, very nicely expressing her current state of mind. The suspense went off without a hitch, and her timing was perfect—God-given, even, as though he were saying Kamijou would always be dealing with some incident.

  “E-eeeek!! Wait, please wait, Miss Index!! I can tell without you saying it! Your Greatness is about to give up on poor Kamijou’s existence and humanity, aren’t you?!”

  “…I was the one sitting there until a minute ago. I take my eyes off you for one second and it’s already gotten to this…You haven’t even said sorry for sneaking out of the hospital without telling me…”

  “Yes, yes, you’re right! I fully agree with that! I wasn’t acting sane when I went back to Acqua in that state! What on earth would you have done if the worst had happened?!”

  “Acqua?! You mean from God’s Right Seat?! That Acqua?! How could you not rely on me for an enemy who’s basically made of magic?! I’m the Index, for crying out loud!!”

  “Wait, what?! When did Itsuwa’s position change like that?! Is this the power of Amakusa’s environmental adaptation?!”

  Meanwhile, in front of the room where their exchange was going on, there was a woman, standing at a loss in the straight hallway: Kaori Kanzaki. She’d come to make her own hospital visit, but it seemed like she’d missed her chance (or been beaten to the punch by Itsuwa), so now she didn’t know what to do.

  “(…What do I do? I have to go back to London tomorrow, so this is the only chance in my schedule, but both Itsuwa and that child are here at this very moment…)”

  “Lady…You’re burning daylight, you know.”

  A sudden voice from right behind her nearly sent her jumping out of her boots. She turned around to find a boy with blond hair and sunglasses—Tsuchimikado Motoharu.

  He brought a hand to his mouth and grinned meaningfully. “You’ve been blessed with a chance to visi
t Japan in the middle of your very busy schedule. Now’s your chance to thank him for taking care of Index and Amakusa, nya.”

  “I—I know that. But, well…How to put this? Talking to him one-on-one would already be awkward, but now that both Itsuwa and the child are there, well, I’d appreciate waiting a little longer, or, well…”

  “Anyway, you brought the fallen angel maid costume, right?”

  “Bfghbt?! O-of course not!! Why would I?! The Seven Heavens Sword barely got through customs!! Besides, if I was going through with that absurd plan, I’d definitely have to get him alone!! I could absolutely not have Itsuwa or that girl in the middle of it!! You know how powerful that girl’s eidetic memory is!!”

  Kanzaki shook her head quickly, imagining the terrible scene.

  But Tsuchimikado, with a know-it-all look, nodded generously. “I know you’re super-serious and blush easily, so…Ta-daa!! Today, I brought an evolution of that outfit—an erotic fallen angel maid costume, nya!!”

  “How is that any different?!”

  “Huh? What do you mean? Look, the chest is open more, and the skirt portion is more transparent—”

  Kanzaki grabbed onto Tsuchimikado’s hand for dear life as he tried to suddenly unfold some kind of fabric in front of her. Despite her saintly gripping force threatening to crush his palm, he maintained a grin, albeit a pained one.

  “Then what’re you gonna do? Like, seriously, tell me what you’re gonna do. You dragged yourself this far—you’re not gonna just walk in, smile normally, blush a little, tilt your head, and say thank you, right? You need to realize something! While you’ve been diddling around, this story’s getting to the point where you won’t be able to do anything about it!! Don’t think I’ll let you keep me in all this suspense and then sidestep the entire issue!!”

  Fierce lights flew from Tsuchimikado’s eyes behind his sunglasses, and Kaori Kanzaki lost all her usual coolness. Drawing back, she asked, “Then what do you think I should do?! No matter how much of a debt I accrue, the only thing I can do is wholeheartedly—”

  “You can at least give him a squeeze and a rub, damn it!”

  “??? Squeeze? Squeeze what?”

  “Oh please, get off your freaking high horse…Question, question for you, now!! Zaky, what are those attached to your body for? I’m asking you what purpose those proofs of mammal-hood, in other words, those boobs, are stuck to you for!!”

  “A-at the very least, they’re not for squeezing and rubbing things…”

  Kanzaki’s face clouded in confusion, unable to imagine what Tsuchimikado was trying to get at.

  He clicked his tongue softly. She was being surprisingly hardheaded.

  “But really, you’re sure you’re all right with going at it so slowly, huh?”

  “Wh-what are you talking about?”

  “(…Look at Itsuwa,)” he whispered. “(You know, the one who’s slow to mature. I’m telling you, she might be willing to put on the erotic fallen angel getup.)”

  “(…???!!! Th-there’s no way…!!)” she replied, needlessly drawing in to reflect Tsuchimikado’s secretive tone.

  He let out a suppressed, catlike grin. “Do you know that for sure? We all tend to think she won’t make any bold moves, but considering how much she’s going for the hand towel plan, when you really think about it, she acts independently a lot. The towel thing has been doing nothing but failing, so when she comes to terms with what she’s missing—the erotic fallen angel maid outfit, I mean—and everything clicks, how much attack power do you think it will give her?”

  “Th-that can’t be! I know her—she would never do that!!”

  “You know, to be blunt, with her size, she’d have no problem squeezing and rubbing.”

  “??? Again, what do you mean by that?”

  Kanzaki gave him another blank look. For once, Tsuchimikado was at his wits’ end. He couldn’t get her on the same page. He changed his mind, deciding to attack from a different angle.

  “In the end, that’s all you are, Zaky. The only thing that stands out about you is how embarrassed you get. You don’t actually have any gratitude toward Kammy at all, do you?”

  “N-no, you’re wrong!! It’s just that your examples, like that erotic fallen angel maid thing, are too out there!! I’m grateful in a normal way!!”

  “But I don’t think Itsuwa cares. That means she’s more grateful to him than you. To be honest, she could do a simple fallen angel maid outfit, no problem. And she’d want to power it up to the erotic version. Do you know what the difference here is?”

  “I—I don’t understand what you mean.”

  “What I mean is, she has you beat, Zaky. On being a woman.”

  “?!”

  “Blech. Is Amakusa even going to be all right like this? Sheesh. Pride’s the only thing you’ve got much of. You don’t know what it means to slave away at something. Can you guide little lost lambs like that? When push comes to shove, you’ll be the only pretty one left and abandon everyone else, nya.”

  “N-no, I…This is all too much for a stupid erotic fallen angel maid costume…”

  She was 100 percent sure she was in the right, but when he said all this like it was so obvious, she wavered. She already had a debt to Kamijou to begin with. It wasn’t taking long for her brain to deflate like a punctured tire.

  N-no, this all has to be a ruse! There is no possible way a stupid erotic fallen angel maid costume can determine a woman’s worth!! U-um…I feel like that’s beside the point…? My worth as a woman isn’t the problem; it’s how to thank him properly…I keep saying that outfit isn’t how, but can I think of any alternatives…? Ack!! I—I mustn’t be weak!! This is all a trap!! No, wait, but…Hmm, well…I need to calm down. First, I need to calm down and think this through!!

  “Hmm? Wh-what is it, Zaky?”

  As her thoughts raced fruitlessly in her mind, Tsuchimikado winced a little. She must not have heard a word he’d said. After putting on a flat, expressionless face, Kanzaki quietly sat down in seiza position in the middle of the hospital hallway. Then, with slow movements reminiscent of flower arranging, she took out almost twenty roofing tiles from who knows where and began to pile them up.

  “Hhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!”

  She laid her fist into the pile from above, punching through the tiles and down into the floor. Listening to the breaking, she spoke to Tsuchimikado in an incredibly cool tone of voice.

  “I will be fine. I am thinking.”

  On the other hand, Tsuchimikado, having witnessed an oddly level-faced Priestess, was a little unsure. Crap. Did I go too far with my half-joking lecture? He broke into a bit of a cold sweat.

  Eventually, Kanzaki held out a swaying hand to him. Her five fingers were in a straight line like for a karate chop, and she had her palm up, pointed at Tsuchimikado as if to take off his head.

  She spoke.

  “Tsuchimikado.”

  “Y-yes?”

  “I am prepared. The item, if you would.”

  About ten minutes later…

  After burying her fist in the cackling Tsuchimikado’s face, withdrawing extra womanliness, and leveling up once again, the Priestess of Amakusa, Kaori Kanzaki, charged into a certain hospital room.

  For the sake of the Priestess’s honor, we will omit here what sort of chaos struck the world after that.

  The one thing we can say is that Touma Kamijou would, for a time afterward, be terrified by the shadow of a third angel, separate from Misha Kreutzev and Hyouka Kazakiri.

  A message came from the English Puritan Church.

  A person called a strategic negotiator had called to present several documents and several plans for surrender. He’d implied they should choose for themselves the end they wished for most. Before hearing half of it, the pope cut the communication off.

  “Damn!!”

  He seethed. Acqua losing meant two things. First, they had lost a valuable combat asset. Second, the enemy had more combat potential than they’d thought.
>
  How in the world could Acqua have lost?

  Touma Kamijou.

  He may have had a rare ability, but that wouldn’t beat Acqua alone. However, many people had naturally gathered to defend the boy. His faction—made up of simple friends and comrades.

  “…”

  The pope of Rome thought in silence.

  The boy was formidable.

  As he brooded over this with a glower, he heard a set of footsteps.

  “This will not do. Acqua, defeated? They must have grown since last time. Still, that’s why we have our pretext. Our justice. Hah—should chaos appear in this Roman Orthodox–controlled world, the source must meet with a swift end, no matter who it is, eh?”

  Footsteps echoing in the Vatican, within St. Peter’s Basilica.

  The pope saw him and gave him a deeply troubled look. “Fiamma of the Right…Y-you…You didn’t come from back there, did you?”

  “Well now, isn’t that a dangerous look on you?” said the young man, Fiamma, to the pope. He seemed disappointed. “They do say the true stuff of a leader only shows itself in dilemmas. That response just will not do. It makes you look like you aren’t worthy of being the pope.”

  “What…do you plan to do?” asked the pope carefully.

  Vento of the Front was recuperating, Terra of the Left had died, and they didn’t know if Acqua of the Back was alive. In other words, the one holding decision-making authority for God’s Right Seat, and the Roman Orthodox Church, lay in the hands of Fiamma.

  Fiamma had always been an ominous presence, even within God’s Right Seat. The pope felt as though even the other more self-willed members had always left the final decision on their actions to him.

  “Vento’s surprise attack on Academy City. Terra’s global group control. Acqua’s overwhelming genius…Every one of them a failure. Is there a better plan? An overpowering one that will stop Academy City, the main base of the science side?”

  The pope’s face darkened. The Roman Orthodox pope could not tolerate the science side rising to power—that was why he’d asked instruction from God’s Right Seat. Still, he did not want to find himself besieged, with the guiltless faithful caught in the mess.