Words Left Unsaid

by Missy Johnson

  “Thanks, Mom,” I whisper, wiping the tears from my eyes. I hold up my hand and stare at the ring again. It all feels so surreal. I’m excited and nervous about telling Tilly the news.

  “I can’t wait to get back home and meet him,” she gushes. “I miss you all so much.”

  “We miss you too,” I say, tears springing in my eyes. Having her away at times like this is hard, and I’m lucky to have so much love and support around me. I end the call and take a moment to gather my thoughts. This is a huge deal for me, but it’s nothing compared to the change it’s going to be for Tilly.

  “Are you ready?” Max asks.

  “I think so?” God, I’m so nervous about how Tilly is going to react. Maybe I shouldn’t have said yes until after I’d spoken with her. I swallow the lump in my throat and get out of the car.

  Elli meets us at the door. It takes her all of five seconds to notice the huge diamond on my finger. Her eyes widen and she lurches forward, grabbing hold of my hand.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” she shrieks, and I wince.

  “Shhh, I’d rather Tilly hear it from me,” I hiss. Not at all fazed, she drags me inside the door while Max follows, chuckling.

  “Calm down, she’s playing outside.” Ellie waves her hand. “Grant!”

  I roll my eyes. So much for a quiet reveal. Grant comes in to see what the commotion is about. I don’t even get a chance to speak before Ellie blurts out our news.

  “They’re engaged!”

  Grant’s face breaks into a smile as he walks over and slaps Max on the back.

  “Good work, man,” he says, sounding impressed. “I fucking knew it.”

  “This happened last night, didn’t it?” Ellie gasps. “That’s what was with all the secrecy.” She slaps Max on the arm. “Why didn’t you tell us? Or at least Grant?”

  “Because I knew he’d tell you, and that you’d tell Kiara,” Max shoots back. “And I didn’t want any pressure on her if she wasn’t ready for this.”

  Ellie eyes me suspiciously. “You said yes, right?”

  “Would I be wearing it if I didn’t?” I laugh, shaking my head. “I’ll tell you everything in a minute, Ellie. But first I need to tell Tilly.”

  “Okay, she’s outside. Tell Cassie I want to speak to her,” Ellie says, filling the coffee machine.

  Outside, I sit with the girls for a few minutes before telling Cassie her Mom wants her back inside. I wait until she’s disappeared inside, then I sit in the sandpit with Tilly and watch as she builds a castle.

  “This is where the princess lives,” she explains, her face creased in concentration. “And when she marries the prince, she’ll move into an even bigger castle.”

  “Wow, lucky girl,” I grin. My heart races as I wet my lips. “Can I talk to you about something?”

  Tilly nods, and sets down her tools. She looks at me expectantly as I try and find the words to say what I need to say.

  “You know Mommy has been spending lots of time with Max,” I begin. She nods again, her eyes fixated on mine. I begin to sweat. God, this is harder than I thought it would be. “How would you feel if Max was a bigger part of our lives? Like when the princess meets the prince,” I add, pointing to her castle.

  “You mean we’re gonna move into a castle with Max?” she asks, her little eyes growing wide.

  “No,” I laugh. God, we haven’t even discussed living arrangements. “What if we married Max? And he would look after us?”

  “Like a Daddy?” she asks, her voice quiet. I reach for her hand, sure of what she’s thinking.

  “Till, Daddy is always going to be your Daddy. Nothing will change that, okay? Max just wants to try and make us happy.”

  She doesn’t speak for a long time, busying herself in the sand. Eventually, she looks up at me and nods.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?” I repeat, my heart thumping.

  “We can marry Max,” she says.

  “Are you sure?” I ask. I stand up, and lift her into my arms. “I’d never do anything you didn’t want me to, Till.”

  “We can marry him,” she repeats simply, kissing me on the lips. I squeeze her tight and carry her inside, unable to wipe the smile off my face. Max catches my eye, a grin spreading across his face.

  He walks over to us, wrapping his strong arms around us both. Tilly giggles, until I let her out of my arms. She stands on the sofa so she’s the height of Max’s chest and throws her arms around him. My heart swells as I watch.

  “You have to give me lots of hugs,” she warns. He laughs and kisses her on the nose.

  “You’re on,” he grins, lifting her back down onto the floor.

  “Do I get a ring like Mommy’s?” Tilly adds, eyeing the sparkling diamond on my finger. I snort as Max crouches down beside her.

  “Tell you what. We’ll go shopping, just you and me, and pick you out a special necklace. How does that sound?”

  Tilly giggles and begins jumping up and down on the spot to show her excitement. I catch his eye and smile, loving how amazing he is with her, just as Ellie comes in, holding a bottle of champagne.

  “Sorry, El, we’ll have to take a raincheck on the champers,” I say quietly. “There’s one more person I need to tell.”

  Heather.

  To say I’m nervous when we pull up outside Heather’s is an understatement.

  I’m shitting myself.

  I get out of the car and walk up the path, Tilly beside me. I thought bringing her along might soften the blow, but now I’m thinking it was a bad idea. There’s no way this is going to end well.

  Tilly steps forward and knocks on the door. I remind her the marriage is a surprise and not to tell Gran. The last thing I want is Tilly blurting it out making it look like I’m hiding something.

  The door swings open and Heather stands there, a surprised expression on her face. She smiles, holding the door open wider, allowing us to squeeze past.

  “I wasn’t expecting to see you girls,” she says warmly. Her friendliness makes me feel worse. This is the best things have been between us in years and I’m about to ruin it all.

  “Can I speak with you?” I ask, sending Tilly into the living room to watch TV. Heather nods, her eyes bright. I follow her into the kitchen and sit down, a knot forming in my stomach. She’s making such an effort.

  “What is it?” she presses, reaching across the table for my hand. I jump slightly, stunned by her show of affection.

  “I have something I wanted to tell you in person.” I take a deep breath. Wow this is hard. “I want to be honest with you, and I want you to hear this from me. Max asked me to marry him. I’ve said yes.”

  I brace myself for her anger, but it never comes.

  “I’m happy for you, Kiara, I really am. I know I’ve been difficult these last few years, and I apologize for that. I wish I’d handled things differently.”

  “He was your son,” I say, my voice soft. “You only ever wanted what was best for him. No mother wants to let go of her child. As a mother, you’ll never give up hope, no matter how little there is.”

  “But I wasn’t fair to you,” she whispers, tears clouding her eyes. “I never considered what you were going through. I expected too much and gave too little in return. I ruined any chance we had at having a good relationship.”

  “No you didn’t,” I assure her. “We have Tilly, and she’ll keep us connected forever. I meant it when I said I want you to be in her life as much as you like. I want her to have a good relationship with you and Jim.”

  “You have no idea how much that means to me,” she weeps, a smile breaking through her tears. “For what it’s worth, I was so happy when Aiden bought you home. He’d finally found a girl worthy of him.”

  Tears stream down her cheeks as she leans forward to embrace me.

  “There’s something else, Kiara,” Heather says. Wiping away her tears, she smiles and walks over to the kitchen cabinet. I wait as she retrieves something and brings it back to the table. She s
lides it over to me. Confused, I take the envelope and hold it in front of me. “Open it,” she encourages me.

  I tear along the top and pull out a sheet of paper. It’s a statement. I look at Heather quizzically, no idea what it is I’m holding.

  “Jim and I set up a trust account for Tilly. You can access it for anything she needs until she turns eighteen, and then the money is all hers. It’s what’s left of Aiden’s insurance settlement.”

  “Oh, Heather,” I breathe, overwhelmed with emotion. I never expected this. All I ever wanted was for Tilly to be looked after, and now she will be. “This is amazing. I can’t thank you enough.”

  “You don’t need to. It’s hers. She should have it. Aiden would want that.”

  “I’ll never stop loving him, Heather,” I whisper to her. “He holds a place in my heart, and that will never change. He gave me the best thing I could ever ask for—a beautiful, amazing daughter and seven wonderful years.”

  For Tilly, I’ll be indebted to him forever.

  THE END

  Other books by Missy Johnson

  See full backlist, links and full blurbs at

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  My best friend is dying and I’m in love with his girl.

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  Always You

  A sweet student/teacher romance that will make you appreciate love.

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  Wicked Innocence

  He’s a twenty-five year old rock god who thinks I’m twenty-one. I’m only seventeen…

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  Male escort. That got your attention.

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  Provoke

  Mace is hiding something. What would you forgive the man you love for?

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  Out of Reach

  Available now on all major online retailors.

  Prologue

  Andy

  Death. It is the only certainty in life.

  It’s such a small word that holds such a powerful message. We avoid talking about it and we fear it, because we’re taught to do so, because nobody really knows what happens when you die. It’s that uncertainty that is so terrifying.

  It’s amazing how being told you’re going to die puts things into perspective.

  How being told your body is going to slowly give up on you makes you reevaluate everything you thought you once knew. Things you take for granted suddenly seem so fragile. The worst part isn’t the thought of dying itself, it’s everything you’re going to be leaving behind.

  My name’s Andy Grayson. I’m twenty-six, and I’m dying. God, saying that still freaks me out. I don’t know how long I have left. A month—maybe two, if I’m lucky. For a long time, I was angry: I’ve been fighting this fucking disease since I was seventeen and it’s finally going to win. I have nothing else to fight with because it has taken everything.

  Then I realized that this is no longer about me. I can’t save myself, but I can make sure the people I love are taken care of. This became less about what I was losing, and more about what I could gain.

  That’s when I decided I was going to do this on my terms.

  Em is my girlfriend and I love her with everything I have in me. She isn’t just my girl, though; she’s my one of my best friends, my lover, my confidante, my partner in crime, and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her.

  And then there’s Seth: we’ve been best friends for so long he’s like a brother to me, and I know he feels the same. As kids we got into more trouble than I care to mention, and before I die I intend on getting him into some more—for old times’ sake and all that shit.

  Without them by my side, I wouldn’t have fought for this long. They sacrificed so much for me and now it’s time for me to return the favor.

  I can’t leave them without knowing the two people closest to my heart will be okay. I need that assurance before I settle back and let this fucking disease take me—finish me off for all eternity…