Warren Lane

by Andrew Diamond

  “Wait, are you serious? I can’t tell if you’re serious.”

  Ella shrugged. “Why don’t you come in and find out?”

  She got out of the car and walked toward the house. Ready got out a few seconds later and followed her to the door.

  As they entered the house, Ella said, “I have to take a shower, to wash off the sunscreen and your disgusting car. Wanna watch me undress?”

  “Right here?” Ready asked. They were standing at the bottom of the stairs.

  “Right here.”

  “OK.”

  “OK,” Ella said. “You go first.”

  “What?”

  “Fair’s fair,” she said. “You can watch me undress, but you have to get undressed first.”

  Ready hesitated, and then Ella took off her shirt and stood looking at him in her sweats and bikini top. “Well?”

  Ready took off his clothes and Ella smiled. “Look at you, all ready to go! And I’m not even undressed yet. That’s flattering, Warren.” She tapped his chest and said, “I wish the top half of you was as enthusiastic about me as the bottom half.”

  Ella took off her sweat pants and bathing suit. “Now you can wait for me while I shower,” she said. “And your aching cock will know what my heart felt like when you left me blowing in the wind out on that boat. If you can’t hold out, there are some napkins in the kitchen. You can take care of yourself.”

  Ready looked at her in astonishment. “I can’t believe how brazen you are.”

  “Good use of vocabulary, Warren,” Ella said with a smile. “I told you this house makes me crazy.” She stepped forward and kissed him. “I won’t leave you hanging. I’m not that much of a bitch.” Then she whispered, “And I’m as turned on as you are. But I can hide it, and you can’t.”

  She turned and Ready watched her ascend the stairs. She stopped at the top and said, “Go sit on the couch, Warren. I’ll call you when I’m out of the shower.”

  * * *

  A little while later, Ready emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a towel. Ella sat on the bed, naked and cross-legged, with her back propped against the pillows. On the sheet that covered her legs was Ready’s empty wallet, along with his license, the pre-paid Visa cards, and some cash. Ella was scrolling through his phone.

  “Whatcha doin’?” Ready asked.

  “Looking through all your stuff.”

  “Why?” The tone of his voice and his relaxed posture showed he was at ease with this.

  “Because it would take me days to get all this information out of you,” she said. “OK, you have two hundred sixty-two dollars in cash, a license, and two Visa cards. Prepaid. And that’s it. Is your life really that simple?”

  “I try to keep it that way.”

  “Oh, and this.” She picked up his new license from the bed, waved it, and said, “You’re going to be twenty-eight in a few days. Happy birthday.”

  “Thanks. How old are you?”

  “Twenty-four.”

  She turned the screen of his phone toward him and said, “You have a lot of women in here.”

  “I don’t even know most of them.”

  “I thought you said you didn’t go looking up girls’ skirts.”

  “I don’t,” Ready said. “I just get drunk and things happen.”

  “Why were you so shy with me? It doesn’t seem like you were shy with...” She began reading names. “Ashley, Christine, Devon, Frances, Kate, Kate, Kate, or Kate. God, Warren none of these women have last names. How do you know which Kate you’re calling?”

  “I don’t call any of them,” he said.

  “Really?” she asked with a look that sought reassurance.

  “Really.”

  “Susan texted while you were in the shower.”

  “What did she say?”

  “She asked if you could meet her at the hotel,” Ella said with a wounded look in her eyes. “I hope you don’t mind, I texted her back.”

  “What did you write?”

  “‘Will you be naked?’”

  “Oh, shit.”

  “She texted right back, ‘Not appropriate. Call and let me know when we can meet.’ Who is Susan?”

  “Someone I work with,” Ready said.

  “Oops. Sorry.”

  “It’s OK.”

  “Do you mind if I delete all these other women?” Ella asked, holding up the phone.

  “Go ahead,” Ready said.

  “Is there anyone I should save? Your parents?”

  “And Susan. And Marie, my sister. And all the male names.”

  “You’re going to have like eight people left in here when I’m done.”

  “That sounds about right.”

  “You’re not very social, are you?”

  Ready shrugged. “I have my moments.”

  “I’m putting my number in here, so you can call me. You will call me, won’t you, Warren?”

  “Of course.”

  She smiled and typed in her number. “You must get drunk a lot,” Ella observed as she began deleting names one by one.

  “It cures my hangovers,” Ready said.

  “And causes them. But you weren’t drunk with me.”

  “No.”

  “Does that mean I’m special?”

  Ready thought for a moment and then said, “Yes.”

  “Well I think you’re special too.”

  “You like the way I look,” Ready said.

  “I like who you are.”

  “Who am I?”

  “A kind person, with a good heart. Who’s a little lost. Like me.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “I just do,” Ella said. “I knew it as soon as I saw you.”

  “Maybe you just thought that,” Ready said, fearing that she was spinning fantasies about him that he wouldn’t be able to live up to. “Any man would look appealing to a woman in your situation.”

  Ella’s face clouded. “That was mean, Warren.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  She saw that he was, and as she studied his face, the wounded anger in her eyes gave way to curiosity. Though Ella’s gaze took in as much as Susan’s, it did not arouse in him the same discomfort. He turned toward her rather than away, and confessed to her with an open face, “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I meant... just don’t start building up expectations about me. Don’t expect to find something that’s not there.”

  “But there is something there, Warren. I know it.”

  “Well, I hope I don’t disappoint you.”

  Ella shrugged. “Then don’t.”

  Returning her attention to the phone, Ella asked, “How does someone meet two Talulahs?”

  “Same woman. Two phone numbers.”

  “Deleted,” Ella said with a smile. “Come here, Warren,” she said, patting the bed beside her hip. “Come be with me.”

  Chapter 15

  Two hours later, Ready sat at the table at the rear of the living room, looking at the weather forecast on Ella’s laptop. Ella lay on the couch, paging through Vanity Fair.

  “You make me nervous, sitting over there at the computer,” Ella said.

  “Why?”

  “That’s where Will sits when he does his work. With his back to the wall, so I can’t look over his shoulder. He even keeps the curtains shut, as if the neighbors might try to read his email and learn all about shipping rates and customs procedures.”

  Looking back at her magazine, she said, “You know, this thing is just a catalog. They throw in some stories as an excuse to get people to look at all the ads.”

  “I don’t read magazines,” Ready said.

  “You know, I was almost in here once,” Ella said.

  “In Vanity Fair?”

  “Mmm hmm. In an ad, I me
an. They did a shoot with two models. Me and this other girl. They chose one of her photos. I don’t have the right look.”

  “What did they do with your photos?”

  “I don’t know.” Ella shrugged. “Threw them away, I guess.”

  She stood up from the couch and carried the magazine to Ready. “See that girl?” She pointed to an ad. “I used to work with her. She’s really sweet.”

  Ready looked at the woman in the photo. “Damn, she is sweet.”

  “Warren!” She swatted him playfully on the shoulder.

  “How’d you wind up with Will?” Ready asked.

  “Oh... I was in Miami between shoots and I met him at this big pretentious party. We talked and had drinks. He took me out to dinner and spent five hundred dollars on wine. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but that impressed me.

  “He’s generous when he wants to be. He listened to me and he thought I was funny. He has this confidence that the little twenty-something boys don’t have. And he wasn’t forward or pushy. He didn’t brag. Though I suppose dropping five hundred dollars on wine is a form of bragging.”

  “But he’s like fifty,” Ready said.

  Ella looked embarrassed. “He doesn’t look that old,” she said. Then she added in a more defensive tone, “I thought he was maybe forty.”

  Ready’s remark stung, and she wished her answer wasn’t so weak and evasive. Then she said in a sharper tone, “I don’t know, Warren. Sometimes I look for trouble, OK? I want to do the wrong thing. I wanted to fuck with him because it was dangerous and bad, and then I wanted to fuck him too, OK? And you know what? I enjoyed it. I really did. Does that disgust you?”

  Ready said nothing. She searched his face for a hint of judgment but found none. She felt ashamed, but she wanted to tell him everything.

  “When I came out here, I started sinking. I missed my shoots in LA. The agency fired me. I kept telling myself I’d fly back East, tomorrow or next week. And I kept not doing it.” She looked at Ready’s face, searching again for the judgment she both courted and feared.

  “And I didn’t do it again today. I didn’t fly back,” she said. She paused a moment, then said, “Warren, I hope you don’t think I go around sleeping with everyone I meet. I mean, I know from how we met it might be hard to think otherwise. But that’s not who I am.”

  “I don’t really care what you do when I’m not around,” Ready said.

  “But I want you to care!”

  Ready stood up and kissed her. “I think you’re wonderful,” he said.

  “Do you really?”

  “I do. And I do care what you do when I’m not around. I just don’t like to think about it. You live in some other guy’s house, and I’m your...pool boy.”

  “Warren, I can’t stay here.”

  Ready sat down again and looked at the computer. “What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know,” Ella said. “You want some iced tea?” She walked toward the kitchen.

  “Sure,” said Ready.

  She returned with two glasses. “You’ve been studying that weather forecast for an awfully long time. Are you going to take me out for a picnic?”

  “No. I was just wondering... how do you hack into a computer?”

  “You don’t have to hack into it,” Ella said. “It’s open right in front of you.”

  “No, I mean, if I wanted to hack into someone else’s computer.”

  “Why would you want to do that?”

  “Let’s just say I wanted to.”

  “I don’t know,” said Ella. “Steal their password. Why are we talking about hacking into computers?”

  “I want to get some files from Will’s laptop. And his phone.”

  “Why?”

  “I have this feeling he’s doing something he shouldn’t be doing.”

  “Like keeping a mistress?” Ella asked.

  “Or maybe...getting into some business that’s over his head.”

  “Warren, you’re a terrible liar. If you want my help, just ask for it.”

  “Will you help me steal files from Will’s computer?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “How can we do it?”

  Ella shrugged.

  “Well, keep it in the back of your mind. Maybe you’ll get some inspiration.”

  Chapter 16

  Will returned from his trip the following afternoon. On the drive home from the airport, as the radio announcer reviewed the stock market numbers, Will decided he would say nothing to Susan about the check. If Susan was having him investigated, it would be to his advantage if she thought he didn’t know.

  He thought about Warren Lane and wondered what type of information he was after. He wondered how long would it take Lane to discover Ella. And how far would he dig beyond that? Would the investigation extend to his business?

  As Will slowed for a red light, a woman on the radio reported that federal investigators and an international pharmaceutical company were looking into reports of counterfeit cancer drugs. Will turned up the volume.

  “These drugs are ideal targets for counterfeiting,” the woman said. “Unlike many other medications, they don’t have an immediate effect, and the patient can’t tell right away if the drug is working or not. That makes counterfeits difficult to identify. These medicines are also very expensive. A counterfeiter can make thousands of dollars from just a few doses.

  “Federal investigators are taking this very seriously. The drugs bring in billions each year for the manufacturer, which issued a statement today expressing concern for patient safety and assuring that the counterfeits will be removed from circulation.”

  A local man named Benjamin Schwartz described his wife’s struggle with breast cancer and the possibility she may have received counterfeit drugs. “What kind of person would do something like that?” Schwartz asked. “Just for money? How can someone prey on cancer patients? How do I explain to my son that there are people like this in the world?”

  “Jesus Christ,” Will said with a heavy sigh as he switched the radio off. He walked into the kitchen a few minutes later to find the island set for dinner.

  Susan had spent the day running errands she didn’t need to run, just to have something to do. In the house she felt trapped, and outside of it she felt unmoored. In the half-dozen shops she wandered through, she couldn’t bring herself to buy anything except a bottle of wine and two steaks. It was easier to think about what needed to be done for dinner than to think about what her husband had been doing, or what might come next in her life.

  She found comfort in the routine of cooking: putting the steaks on the grill, uncorking the bottle of Cabernet, turning the asparagus in the pan. When Will returned, she wouldn’t be alone. He would be pleased with the meat and wine that always pleased him, and she could listen to him talk about his trip instead of having to listen to her own thoughts.

  Will put his bag down and looked through the mail as Susan removed the steaks from the grill and set them on the plates with potatoes and asparagus.

  “How was your trip?”

  Will looked up from the mail with a hint of annoyance.

  “Oh, one of those days,” Susan said. “A little time, a glass of wine...”

  She held up the bottle of Cabernet. Will nodded his approval, and then returned his attention to the mail as she poured a glass for him.

  He put the mail aside and picked up his wine glass without looking at her. Something in his manner soured her all at once, and she thought, Why did I cook for you? Why did I look forward to seeing you? I didn’t. I needed distraction and something to do, and now you’re here and I hate you.

  She missed the dirty look he gave her as he took his seat and he thought, Why are you putting on this show? I know you hired a detective.

  They were silent for a moment before Susan said, “I forgot to t
ell you I talked to Leila the other day. She says hello.”

  Will turned his shoulder to her and looked at the wall as he ate in silence.

  “How’s your steak?” Susan asked. She wanted him to like it, and she wanted him to choke on it. “Did I cook it OK?”

  Will glanced at her from the corner of his eye and said nothing. He took another bite of steak and fixed his eyes again on the wall.

  Susan laid her knife and fork on her plate and her posture deflated as she let out a sigh. What right do you have to be angry with me? she wondered. But his coldness hurt, and finally she asked, “What’s wrong? What did I do?”

  Will thought, You wrote a check for ten thousand dollars from an account I told you not to touch, and now the bank is filing papers with the IRS. You hired a detective to investigate me. Do you have any idea what you’re getting us into? Do you? You fucking idiot!

  But he said nothing. He glanced at her for just a second as these thoughts went through his mind, and the cold, distant anger in his eyes finally made her confess to herself, You can’t avoid this, Susan. You can’t go through the motions and pretend this marriage isn’t over.

  These thoughts caused an involuntary shudder. Will turned sharply toward her, pointing his knife, and said, “Don’t start your fucking crying. I have enough on my mind without that. Go upstairs and cry.”

  Susan went upstairs, and Will poured himself another glass of wine. A few minutes later, she stood at the entrance to the kitchen with an overnight bag. “I can’t stay here, Will. I need some time away. I’ll be at the Canary. Call if you need me, OK?”

  “OK,” Will said. “Take as much time as you need. I’m sorry I yelled at you. I have a lot on my mind right now.”

  “Bye, Will.”

  “Bye, Susan.”

  In the car, her hands shook, and she had trouble getting the key into the ignition. As she left the driveway, she asked herself, What were you thinking? What did you think would happen when you saw him? Did you think it would make you happy? And you shopped for him? And you cooked for him? What if he wanted to kiss you? What if he wanted to have sex? You know you will never touch that man again. You will never be close to him again.

  She pulled the car to the side of the road and bent forward as if someone had punched her in the stomach. She felt the full weight of the grief she had been avoiding for more than a year. It was a physical feeling, a crushing of her heart and her intestines. The sheer power of it terrified her. Her instinct was to flee, but there was nowhere to go, no way to run from her own heart.