I Will Watch You: Four short tales of Jewish love and lust

by Shosha Pearl

  I will stand beside your bed and watch the rhythm of your sleep as your dreams are sketched across your face, your hair smudging your cheek. I will breathe in the sounds of your thoughts and smell the richness of your scent as I undress in the darkness.

  I will not touch you for a long while.

  But then you will turn in your sleep, and I will slowly lower my weight on the bed, easing myself beside you, feeling the linen brush my palms, my thighs, and the soles of my feet.

  I know you will be naked, that you love sleeping unencumbered when you are alone. I will run my eyes along the surface of your skin, to the line of your neck, the hollow of your throat, until I slowly slide my hand beneath the covers and feel the evenness of your skin.

  I will run my hands along your breasts, dappled with heat, carefully taking hold of your nipples, feeling them gradually harden despite the faintness of my touch. I will trace my hand along your belly, down to your thighs. My touch will enter your dreams; you will not wake but will stir toward my caresses.

  I will be hard as I slide across, gently opening your thighs and placing my weight between them. Eyes suddenly open, you will call out in surprise, fear, and confusion, but I will place my palm across your lips and I will enter you before words form or cries release.

  I will force your arms above your head, make you watch me as I push further inside you. I will suck your nipples, close my teeth around them slowly, until you call out in disbelief. I will blow along your neck, licking your skin, forcing my lips to yours. I will overwhelm you with touch until you spread your legs in surrender, raise your hips to take me fully, and then I will thrust faster, deeper, unrelenting, until you grow breathless and wild, as I know you will, until you call to Hashem over and over and over again.

  And then, when I have consumed you, I will release my juices into yours, exhaling my desire for you in bursts against your ears, feeling my warmth seeping between your thighs.

  Only then, when I have taken you as I have imagined night after night, will I kiss you gently and tell you how glad I am to be home.

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  Thank you!!!!

  Acknowledgments

  I would like to thank everyone involved in helping these stories come into being. Many thanks go to family and friends who encouraged me to pursue the initial idea of ‘halachic erotica’, who cheered me on through early drafts, and who read and proofed various versions. In particular, I would like to thank Fai, James, Martin, Na’ama, Rina, Shari and Steve for their time and attention.

  Thanks also to Jewrotica, who first published ‘Fringes of Memory’ and ‘Before the Canopy’, for its permission to reproduce these stories – and special nods of thanks to Ayo, David and Emma at Jewrotica. I would also like to acknowledge the useful advice and freely-shared information provided by a range of indie authors, including Joe Konrath, Barry Eisler, David Gaughran, and Guido Henkel without whom I would not have had the idea, courage or capabilities to publish my work. Please buy their books!

  But the person I want to thank most is my husband, whose advice, support, encouragement and ideas have been fundamental to this and so many other creative endeavors of my life. He gives to me generously - even when my mind is not open and my listening skills not attuned. He is my love, my inspiration and my ally in adventure and adversity.

  Glossary

  Baruch Hashem – (Hebrew) literally means 'Blessed be G-d', but is commonly used in a context similar to the English expression 'Thank G-d'

  Beshert – (Hebrew) soul mate

  Bitul zman – (Hebrew) waste of time

  Chatan – (Hebrew) bridegroom

  Chavruta – (Hebrew) study partner

  Chuppah – (Hebrew) wedding canopy; the term is also used to describe the entire Jewish wedding ceremony

  Dybbuk – (Yiddish) a demon in Jewish lore

  Fressing – (Yiddish) to eat without restraint

  Frum – (Yiddish) religiously observant

  Hashem – (Hebrew) literally means 'the name'; the term often used to name G-d

  Imma– (Hebrew) mother

  Kippah – (Hebrew) yamulka or skull cap (plural kippot)

  Lakewood boys – young men studying in yeshivot (Jewish seminaries) in Lakewood, USA

  Mikveh – (Hebrew) a bath for ritual immersion, primarily for Jewish women to achieve ritual purity after menstruation and before they marry

  Parnassa - (Hebrew) livelihood/income

  Savta – (Hebrew) grandmother

  Sheva Brachos/ Sheva Brachot – (Hebrew) the seven blessings said after a Jewish wedding. The term is also used to describe celebrations traditionally held each night for a week after a Jewish wedding.

  (A) shtickel – (Yiddish) a little

  Treif – (Yiddish) non-kosher

  Tu B’Av – (Hebrew) the Jewish festival of love

  Tzitzit – (Hebrew) fringed garments that Jewish law requires men to wear

  Tzniut/Tznius – (Hebrew) modesty, in particular sexual modesty

  Table of Contents

  Little Secret, Big Secret

  Fringes of Memory

  Before the Canopy

  I Will Watch You

  Want more Shosha?

  Acknowledgments

  Glossary