Chapter 17
I was going in and out. The pain was so severe, I was barely listening to Dr. Sojl, who kept telling me, “Push,” every time I felt a contraction. The shit was killing me.
I almost passed out when I saw Dr. Sojl take a long needle and shoot it into my vagina. Then he took a scalpel and sliced me between my vagina and my anus. “Diamond, we’re gonna count down from ten, sweetie, then you need to push.”
“Okay.”
“Ready? Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Now push.”
I nodded, but really I wasn’t doing shit but making faces and pretending to push.
They caught on. Dr. Sojl, whose face was covered with a mask, took out something that looked like a plunger, put in on my pussy, and started pulling
I started screaming at the top of my lungs and started swinging on all the nurses that surrounded me.
They backed up quickly, and one of them said, “Not the noise, dear.”
“Shut the fuck up! What you mean, not the noise? You ain’t the one feeling this shit.” I felt like I had to take the biggest shit in my life.
“Dr. Sojl took off his mask and looked at me.
“Diamond, do you wanna have this baby?”
“Yes,” I sobbed. “But it hurts too bad.”
“I know it does, sweetheart. But because you drank castor oil, your baby inhaled meconium, so we have to get her out before she stops breathing. So I’m going to need you to push, really push, so we get Star out. That’s her name, right?”
I didn’t know nothing about what he was talking about, but it got me scared that any further harm would come to my baby. I sobbed as another contraction hit me. I nodded at Dr. Sojl. The nurses went back to the bed and coached me through every contraction.
I bore down like I was taking a poop, and they held my legs back.
“Ready? Push down, honey!” Dr. Sojl yelled.
Each time I did, the pain was more severe, like my insides were ripping. But I had to get her out. There was no way to get around it. I wished Danada was here with me.
“Ready, push!”
I pushed again.
“Push down as long as you can, Diamond,” Dr. Sojl said.
So I did. This time, I held it for a good ten seconds.
“Okay, one more time.”
And I did. I threw my head back, closed my eyes, and pushed while screaming, “Awwwwww!”
I heard a pop sound, like somebody had opened a jar of jelly or a jar of pickles. Then blood gushed from between my legs. That’s when I saw the head.
Dr. Sojl yanked the rest of her body out of me, and I heard her cry. It was the most beautiful sound to hear. Once Dr. Sojl was done with her, a nurse whisked her away.
I closed my eyes, trying to catch my breath, while they did whatever they were doing. A few moments later, they had her wrapped in receiving blankets and sat her in my arms. God, she was beautiful! Her hair was thick and silky and hung around her face like a wrap.
She had these little pink lips that poked out, and she kept trying to open her eyes. When she adjusted to the light in the room, I saw they were so shimmery. I could tell off the bat that she had my features, and thank God, she looked nothing like Murder. Her ten fingers and toes were so delicate and so soft. I laughed as she kept looking at the ceiling. Then she tried to look at me. And she had this sweet smell to her.
Dr. Sojl sat in his chair and watched me hold her with a smile on his face. That’s when I felt tears start pouring from my eyes, and I started sobbing.
“Thank you, Dr. Sojl.”
He nodded. “I’m proud of you, Diamond.” Then he left the room.
As soon as he did, the nurse whisked her out of my arms.
“What you doing?”
“We have to take her to run some tests. While we do that, you can get some sleep.”
I was up bright and early the next day, and was breast-feeding Star when Danada came.
Knock, knock. She walked in the room with a gang of pink and white balloons that said, “It’s a Girl.” She also had some flowers and a bag with some things I needed.
I smiled. “Hey, girl.”
She sat the balloons and flowers down. “Can I hold her?”
I nodded.
She went to the sink, washed her hands, and dried them. Then she sat next to me on the bed.
I gently placed the baby in her arms. “Make sure you cradle her head good.”
“Okay. Look at you, so protective of your little angel.”
“Yep.” I chuckled.
Danada took one look at Star and squealed. “She is so pretty! Look at all that hair she got.”
“Hey, little Star. You picked the perfect name for her, D.”
I yawned.
“What’s her middle name?”
“What you think? Danada, fool!”
My friend gasped. Then her eyes got watery. “You named her after me?”
“Yeah. You my best friend. The only person in my corner. I owed you at least that.”
“I’m not ever gonna let her down, D. I promise. If anything happens to you, you don’t ever have to worry about Star. I would die for her.”
“I know you will, girl. And I know she gonna be a handful. That little heiffa almost killed me. I was swinging on the nurses and everything. I thought that was gonna be my last day.”
She busted up laughing. “I don’t understand how she came so early. Didn’t you have another month to go?”
I nodded. “I was having some more problems taking a dump. And I was out of prune juice so that bitch Rhonda gave me some fuckin’ castor oil. I didn’t know it could hurt the baby. The next thing I know, I’m shitting and throwing up all over the place. Then I started having contractions.”
“What? That is one dirty bitch.”
“And she left me there in that shit, even though she knew I was going into labor. I don’t get how anyone can be so dirty.”
“She got a black heart, yo.”
“Yeah, she does. And I don’t trust her around my baby. At first, I thought she had limits, but after she tried to harm my unborn child, I now know there is nothing she wouldn’t do when it comes to harming me. And my daddy just sits back and allows it. It had always been like that. And, girl, that ain’t the worst thing. The other night, my so-called godfather came into my room and tried to rape me again.”
Danada narrowed her eyes at me. “What do you mean, again?”
I took a deep breath. “He raped me when I was fucking twelve. And he tried to get me strung out on crack. The cold part about it is, he paid Rhonda five dollars after he raped me, so I know her evil ass set the whole thing up.”
Danada shook her head at me. “Damn! She worse than my mama. Diamond, you got to get out of that house. You can’t take Star back there. Who’s to say they won’t try to do something to her? If you can force a fucking twelve-year-old to have sex with you, then you one sick bastard, and I don’t put nothing past you.”
“I know, but where am I gonna go, Danada?”
She bit her bottom lip. “I don’t know yet. I’m gonna figure something out. But you ain’t going back there. In the meantime, you just rest and take care of the baby, and don’t stress, ’cause it will get in the breast milk, and that can affect the baby. I learned about it in my health class.” She pecked Star’s cheek and handed her back to me.
“I’m ’bout to get on the grind. At least, I will have some more dough we can work with.”
“All right, girl.”
“Oh, by the way, Gutter asked about you.”
I grimaced before I could catch myself. I tried to play it off. “Girl, I ain’t got no time for no man with a newborn baby. Tell him I’m cool.”
She chuckled. “I heard that, girl. I don’t know why he trippin’. He messin’ with Tameka’s triflin’ ass now.”
“Oh. Well, more power to them.” Better her than me to be with his bisexual ass.
She hugged my free side and, in a flash, was ou
t the door.
Chapter 18
I stayed at the hospital for about five days. The doctors told me that normally premature babies usually stay for two weeks, unless the baby was eating and breathing on its own. Star might have come a month early, but her greedy ass was eating on her own, and thank God, her breathing was fine. But, to tell the truth, I didn’t mind staying at the hospital for two weeks because it would give Danada some more time. I hadn’t seen her since her last visit. But every day, she sent me texts, asking how the baby was, and telling me to let her know when I was getting released.
My girl was on a serious grind. A grind I was gonna get on too as soon as I was better, so there was no way I’d have to go back to Rhonda’s house. It wasn’t like I got any of that welfare money, anyway. She kept it all for herself. She even kept my WIC. She would go to the grocery store and find somebody buying the items she was selling and give it to them for a crackhead price. But I wasn’t tripping. I knew my baby was going to be okay.
The Filipino nurse came to my room six a.m. sharp and told me I was going to be able to go home at about twelve. I texted Danada and told her that they were releasing me at twelve so she could bring the stroller and Star’s first outfit.
She texted me back and told me to sit tight, she would be there.
They had taken Star for another damn blood test. If they asked to take any more of my baby’s blood, I was gonna curse them out.
I shoved the nasty-ass breakfast they had given me for the fourth day in a row away from me. It was a damn boiled egg, two hard-ass pieces of bacon, and some damn toast. With these little-ass juices they gave me, I could only get a swallow out of each carton. I knew the nurses were getting tired of my ass asking them to bringing me more of them. Oh, well, if they didn’t like it, then they should bring bigger fucking cartons of juice.
The nurse wheeled Star into the room. I smiled and glanced at her. She was knocked out. “Y’all not getting any more of her blood,” I told the nurse.
She ignored the comment and said, “What time will your ride be coming?”
“I ain’t got no ride. My friend will be here with the stroller after twelve. That’s the time I’m getting released, right?”
She nodded. “Well, I will be back a little before twelve to go over any last instructions and to answer any further questions you have. And give you your discharge papers.”
“All right.” She tried to rush her ass out of the room.
“Aye!”
She turned and looked at me with an aggravated expression on her face.
“Why I gotta get the same damn thing to eat every day?”
“Aren’t you on medical?”
“Excuse me? What the fuck you mean by medical? For all you know I could have Kaiser, or Blue Cross, or Cigna. Why I gotta automatically be on welfare? Huh? Because I’m black?”
Her eyes got wide.
“What? A cat got your tongue now? Not every person that’s black is on welfare.”
“ I didn’t mean that, ma’am.”
“Well, I feel offended.”
“I’m sorry. But are you on medical?”
“Yes!” I crossed my arms into my chest. “The fuck that got to do with anything?”
“Then you have to have the same thing. You only get to pick if you have private insurance.”
“Well, you can take this shit ’cause I’m not eating it.”
She collected the tray and, with a quick pace, left the room. Since Star was ’sleep, I lay back in the bed and used the remote to turn on the television. I was hoping to catch Jerry Springer’s or Maury Povich’s talk show. Or even some Married with Children reruns. But, instead, there was news on every fucking channel.
I almost turned the TV off, but then I saw there was a high-speed chase. Damn! I thought. Whoever is in that car doesn’t have a chance. There were four police cars coming after them. Whoever they were, they were flying on the freeway, 710 North, and the cops were on that ass. I hoped they didn’t get out, ’cause they was gonna get fucked up for sending them po-pos through all that trouble. Damn! I’m glad that’s not me. But it was cool to see a high-speed chase in my neck of the woods.
I half-listened as the newscaster gave a description, saying, “While we can’t really get a good glimpse of the driver, the victim told police that the driver is an African-American female in her mid-teens. And this was a carjacking at gunpoint.”
That’s when my heart almost stopped. No, it couldn’t be. I scanned the make and the model of the car, and my mouth dropped. It was an Impala. The driver had to be Danada.
With shaking hands, I reached for the phone and dialed her cell phone number. There was no answer. I watched as her speed increased and she crossed over into north Long Beach near the 91 West. Danada, pull the car over!
I dialed her number again. “Danada!” I yelled, when her voice mail picked up. “Pull the fucking car over before these muthafuckas kill your ass!”
I dialed her number again, but she didn’t respond. If I was driving ninety miles per hour, I probably wouldn’t have either.
She hopped onto the 91, damn near crashing into a car as she did. I screamed so loud, a nurse walking by came to my door. “What’s wrong?”
I ignored her and watched Danada go around a car in the farthest lane. She almost hit the wall of the freeway. She popped in front of the car and increased her speed, but the police were still on her fucking heels.
Scared to look, I closed my eyes, my heart thudding in my chest. Then I forced myself to look again.
The newscaster said, “I wonder how much farther the suspect is planning on going. Why doesn’t she give herself up?”
I was wondering the same thing. She could only go so fast on that freeway and only get so many near misses from the other cars. She passed another curve too fast, and her tires screeched. Smoked clouded the freeway, but she kept on going like she was a race car driver.
There was a big rig truck in front of her that was gradually slowing her down. That’s when I thought my friend was going to stop and turn herself in to the cops, but she didn’t.
Please don’t do it, Danada.
I watched as she tried to go around the rig truck by slipping into the right lane. But I guess she didn’t see that more cars were merging onto the freeway, and before she could brake, she collided head-on with a Navigator truck.
I screamed as the Impala flew, and then it flipped over about three times before her car broke out in a fire that enveloped the whole car. And, within an instant, I knew my friend was dead.
Chapter 19
I was numb when the nurse came to my room to go over some things and have me sign my discharge papers. I wasn’t listening. I couldn’t. I was too busy seeing that Impala flip over and over in my head and seeing it go up in flames.
Shortly after the incident, the girl was in fact identified as Danada Stewart. The security camera in the parking lot caught her taking the car at gunpoint. And that was the face they flashed on all the channels.
I felt nothing but misery. She’d jacked that car for me, to help me with Star, her goddaughter. And now, because of me and my bullshit situation, she was dead. We had our problems in the beginning with that Li’l Murder bullshit, but she was my friend. She was all I had, and I loved her. Now she was gone.
Tears wouldn’t stop falling from my eyes. My heart felt like something was tugging it, and every time I swallowed, it seemed like a lump was stopping my saliva from going down. What am I going to do without her?
When it was my checkout time, I knew I couldn’t go back to Rhonda’s house, so I told the nurse that my legs were feeling numb, that I felt like I was going to pass out. So they ran some more tests.
Luckily, they found out that my blood was low, which was enough for them to keep me for two more days. And when I was able to put Star to sleep, or they took her for a test, I would just sit and cry over my friend.
Sure enough, after the second day, the nurse was up bright and early to discharge me
. I was already dressed in clothes Danada had brought me.
“Okay, miss, you are all ready to go.”
I ignored the nurse and stayed where I was.
“I’ll go get the wheelchair.”
She came back to the room with the chair.
“I don’t need that.”
“Well, you can’t stay another day. The doctor already extended you by two days.”
“I didn’t say I was staying. All I said was, I don’t need that wheelchair.”
“Okay.” She looked around. “Where is your ride and your car seat? Your mom and dad aren’t coming to get you?”
I ignored her and grabbed all the baby items in the room—the bottles of formula, the nipples, the receiving blankets, diapers, and all the burping pads—and put them in a pillowcase while she watched.
“Wait!”
I rolled my eyes. “Man, what?”
She jumped at the volume of my voice and put a hand to her chest. “How are you going to get the baby home?
“I’m going to fuckin’ walk!” I was tired of her questioning me, and I was still upset about my friend dying. The nurse was the only person I could unleash my anger and hurt on.
“I can’t let you leave without knowing who is taking you.”
“Okay. Damn! Wheel me out. My ride will be here shortly.”
I know she wanted to question me, but to get me out of her hair, she accepted this.
The walk back wasn’t so bad, because little Star was a petite baby. But the stitches were killing me. From St. Mary’s to my house was about a twenty-minute walk.
When I got in the door, I saw that Rhonda had guests over, and they were having a get-high party. The stench of cigarettes, weed, and crack was strong in the air. I covered my baby’s face and walked to my room as fast as I could, to avoid my baby inhaling that shit.
I sat the pillowcase down so I had a free hand to open the door. I turned my back and pushed it open so I could use both hands to hold my baby. When I turned around, I froze at what I saw. Although I couldn’t see her face, I knew it was Rhonda on my bed, on her knees, ass buck-naked, while some random fucking dude was jabbing her doggie-style. Based on her horse-like body, I knew it was her.
Around the Way Girls Page 15
