Being With Him

by Mickie B. Ashling

  The cousins’ sense of humor reminded him of Zeb. They could be funny without being hurtful, a departure from the sarcastic zingers he dealt with on a routine basis. He couldn’t explain what this meant to him without sounding pathetic. Being queer automatically opened the door to insults, but trans people had replaced them as prime targets. Too many of his kind suffered immeasurable damage, and to find a group of strangers who unanimously embraced him as one of their own was astounding. It was another reason why he had no problem waking early to whip up something special. Bacon yipped excitedly when Zeb staggered into the kitchen, pulling Alex back to the present.

  “What are you doing?” Zeb asked, blinking owlishly. He’d thrown on a robe, but was barefoot, and his straight hair stood up in tufts. Despite that, Alex thought he looked adorably sexy, and he didn’t even try to disguise the huge smile that creased his face.

  “Hey, sugar! Did I wake you up with my noise?”

  “No, it was the smell.”

  “My little bloodhound,” Alex teased. “I’m making peanut butter bars for the party.”

  “Yum. Do you need a taster?”

  “They’re still cooking. Want some coffee?”

  “What I’d like is a hug,” Zeb voiced.

  “Come here,” Alex said, spreading his arms.

  Zeb melted into his embrace, murmuring, “I hate waking up alone, especially when I don’t have to.”

  “What are you going to do next week?” Alex asked gently. “You won’t have me to be your body pillow anymore.”

  “I’m trying not to think about it.”

  “Right? I keep wishing we had more days, but we’re down to the wire.”

  “It sucks,” Zeb grumbled. “It would help if we set up a next visit. I’d have something to look forward to and the separation wouldn’t seem endless.”

  “We’ll be tethered electronically,” Alex reminded him.

  “Sure, but I still need a future date,” Zeb persisted. “It’ll keep me sane.”

  “Let me pull up my work calendar,” Alex said, thumbing through his iPad.

  “Damn,” he protested, when he saw that most of January was already filled.

  “What’s the matter?” Zeb asked.

  “Looks like my first free weekend isn’t until the fourth of February.”

  “That’s forever,” Zeb complained. “Isn’t there any way you can shuffle things around?”

  “No. I took this whole week off to be with you and have to make it up somehow.”

  “I guess.”

  “If your classes permit, let’s fly down to Baton Rouge that weekend to visit Gabby,” Alex offered.

  “Where would we stay?”

  “With my parents, of course,” Alex said.

  Zeb raised his eyebrows. “In separate rooms I suppose.”

  “Riiight,” Alex responded, drawing out the word. “Not the romantic getaway you had in mind?”

  “I’d really like to meet Gabby in person, but after being physically apart for so many weeks, I’ll be craving a lot of private time. There’s no way I’ll be discreet,” Zeb admitted. “Could we stay at a hotel?”

  Alex frowned. “I’d rather not.”

  “Is it the expense?” Zeb asked. “We can split everything down the middle.”

  “That’s not it,” Alex said. “Baton Rouge might be a big town, but the majority of the folks down there are small-minded. Two guys checking into one room will create a shit storm, and I can’t guarantee your safety. It’s not a good idea, sugar.”

  “I forgot about that,” Zeb said, nodding. “What do you suggest?”

  “We postpone the visit to Gabby for now.”

  “But you promised,” Zeb reminded.

  “I know. I’ll squeeze in an overnight trip sometime in January to keep her happy, and plan something separate for us.”

  “We could stay here.”

  “Nah,” Alex said, dismissing the idea. “Chyna will be back and Luca will be around most weekends. It won’t be the same.”

  “Yeah, that’s true,” Zeb agreed. “Okay, why don’t you surprise me? I’m open to anything so long as we’re together.”

  “All right.”

  The oven timer went off just then, and Alex removed the two baking trays with Zeb hovering closely.

  “Can I have a piece?” he begged.

  “Not until they cool,” Alex said. “You’ll burn your tongue.”

  Zeb grinned up at him. “Mustn’t risk that.”

  “You dog.” Alex swatted him on the ass with an oven mitt.

  Giggling, Zeb conceded, “Guilty as charged. Since we have time to kill, let’s go back to bed and I’ll show you how useful my tongue can be.”

  Alex rolled his eyes but willingly followed Zeb down the hallway.

  They fell asleep after satisfying each other’s needs and didn’t stir again until two o’clock. Alex woke up to the now familiar sensation of Zeb’s boner nudging his backside. He rolled onto his stomach and turned to look at Zeb, who was already awake and watching him expectantly.

  Incredulous, he asked, “Are you fucking serious?”

  Zeb flushed. “I’m trying to get as much of you as I can. In three days we’ll be living like monks again.”

  “Oh, sugar.”

  Alex zeroed in on Zeb’s mouth and drew him in for a deep kiss. Moaning, Zeb scrambled on top of Alex, who automatically spread his legs. Pleasure shot through him as Zeb’s hard shaft rubbed against his sensitive organ. Still kissing, Alex rose up to meet Zeb’s grinding. He knew what his lover wanted, and he was close to giving in, but every time he thought about penetration, he seized up and was thrown out of the moment.

  Intuitively, Zeb broke their kiss. “It’s okay,” he soothed. “Don’t zone out on me, sweetheart.”

  “I’m sorry,” Alex said. “I want you to fuck me, but I’m not ready yet.”

  “Relax, Alex. This is just as good.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  Alex reached for the lube beside the bed and squeezed some into the palm of his hand. Caressing Zeb’s cock, he crossed his legs and positioned the hard shaft at the juncture. “Can you fuck me like this?”

  “You know I can,” Zeb breathed, sinking into the slick warmth.

  Alex sighed. They’d done this before, and it had always been satisfactory, but that wasn’t the real question. His greatest fear was the day Zeb gave him an ultimatum. Would that ever happen? Would he get tired of waiting? Pushing aside his anxiety, Alex circled his arms around Zeb’s torso, and he hung on tightly as they rocked and rubbed against each other. All too quickly Zeb was on the brink, and the warm gush of spunk pushed Alex over the edge as well. They shuddered to climax, hearts thudding loudly.

  “I love you,” Zeb said, rubbing his face against Alex’s neck. “Don’t doubt it for a second.”

  Alex bit his lip. “I love you too. Soon I’ll give you more.”

  “Please don’t worry about it,” Zeb said gently. “This was perfect.”

  After a few minutes, they disentangled and headed for the shower. They got dressed for the party and returned to the kitchen for a light lunch. By then, dessert was ready to be sampled, and the look on Zeb’s face after taking his first bite made Alex smile. “Good?”

  “Hmm,” Zeb crooned, chewing slowly. “These are too good to share.”

  “Don’t be a brat,” Alex said affectionately. “I’ll keep a few pieces for you and pack up the rest.”

  “Thank you,” Zeb said, hugging Alex. “You’re the best.”

  They left for Queens at four in the afternoon. When they rang the doorbell at the Moreno house, the party was already in full swing. Alex was momentarily stunned by the noises coming from within, but loud exclamations followed by affectionate hugs and air kisses made him feel right at home. Someone grabbed the dessert tray while he and Zeb removed their jackets and hung them in the overflowing hall closet. They were herded into the living room where a karaoke machine was blasting a Bruno Mar
s hit. Several young adults were miming words and dancing. Zeb waved at them as they passed. Off to the side, Alex noticed two card tables with four seniors at each one. They were mixing up a pile of rectangular tiles that were made of hard plastic, judging by the clacking sound. After scrambling them around, they stacked them in twos, building a low wall that went around the table.

  “What are they playing?” Alex asked curiously.

  “Mahjong,” Zeb responded. “Haven’t you seen it before?”

  “Never.”

  “I’ll explain the game later,” he promised. “It’s fun.”

  “Do they bet?”

  “Oh yeah. These guys love to gamble.”

  They continued toward the kitchen, where they were handed paper plates and urged to fill up. Alex recognized American favorites like ham and turkey, as well as an assortment of salads, but it was the Filipino dishes that drew his attention. He’d sampled them last Thanksgiving and couldn’t wait for another chance to savor the roast pork, noodles, and crispy spring rolls.

  His offering joined the dozen other desserts on a separate table, and he was pleased when Zeb’s aunt picked up a square and nodded her appreciation after a few bites.

  “These are so good,” she voiced. “Did you make them?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Ay, Alex. What did I tell you to call me?”

  “I mean, yes, Auntie.”

  She cackled with pleasure. “Don’t forget. You’re family now.”

  Alex was unbelievably touched by her words, and he bit his lower lip to keep from blurting out something stupidly sappy. Zeb noticed, though, and squeezed his arm companionably.

  The doorbell rang again and the new arrival was as boisterous as the rest of the crowd. Alex could hear wild chattering in their native language, and although he didn’t understand a word, it was obvious the new guest was a welcome addition. Which hardly explained Zeb’s sudden clumsiness. He almost dropped his plate when the stranger walked into the kitchen.

  “Lina!”

  Alex recognized the name immediately. She was Zeb’s sister, the nurse, who lived in San Francisco.

  “Surprise,” she squealed, throwing her arms around Zeb. “Auntie said you’d be here.”

  “Wow,” Zeb muttered, looking stunned. “You could have warned me.”

  “And spoil the fun? Heck, no.”

  “Happy New Year,” he deadpanned.

  “You too, bro. How’ve you been?” Lina asked.

  “Great. Fine… um, really well,” Zeb faltered.

  “I heard,” Lina said suggestively.

  “What?” Zeb asked.

  She glanced at Alex and raised her eyes to meet his. In Alex’s opinion, Lina was an older female version of Zeb. Short spiky hair, dark almond-shaped eyes, trim build, and quick smile. Shorter than her brother by several inches, she studied Alex frankly. He tried not to flinch and met her gaze steadily.

  “About him,” she replied, turning back to her brother. “Won’t you introduce us?”

  The noise faded away, and all Alex could hear was the thundering of his heart as he waited for Zeb’s answer. Everyone else in the room seemed to be holding their collective breaths as well. Would this unexpected meet and greet turn into a typical holiday disaster with him fleeing the scene, or was Zeb going to prove him wrong again? Alex felt claustrophobic and thought he was going to faint as everyone’s attention shifted to him.

  “Zeb?” Lina prompted.

  Zeb sidestepped closer to Alex and snaked an arm around his waist. Taking a deep breath, he announced, “This gorgeous man is my boyfriend, Alex.”

  Lina smirked. “Is that right?”

  “Yup.” Zeb nodded. “Surprise!”

  Lina burst into laughter, and all the relatives joined in. Later, when the noise subsided, Lina whispered something in Zeb’s ear. His eyes widened.

  “No way,” he said aloud.

  “Way,” Lina replied.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “You weren’t ready,” she said.

  Turning to Alex, she held out a hand and shook it when he met hers. “Welcome to the family.”

  “Thank you,” Alex said. He was so relieved he wanted to pick her up and hug her, but he tried to be as cool as his boyfriend.

  “I was just telling Zeb that I’m a member of your tribe.”

  Alex broke into a wide smile. “Do you have a partner?”

  “Yes, unfortunately, she had to work the holiday.”

  “Is she also a nurse?” Zeb interjected.

  “Grace is a pediatrician,” Lina bragged. “And a damned good one if I say so myself.”

  “Go, you,” Zeb retorted.

  “You guys should come out and visit,” Lina invited. “We have lots of room in our house.”

  “You have an actual house?”

  “Duh.”

  “We might take you up on that offer,” Zeb said, looking at Alex for confirmation. He gave him a brisk nod.

  “When?” Lina probed.

  “Sometime in February?” Zeb asked Alex.

  “That’s sounds good, sugar.”

  “Aw,” Lina crooned. “I love your accent, Alex. It’s so sexy.”

  “I know, right? Gets me every time,” Zeb admitted.

  “And his eyes….”

  “Are stunning,” Zeb finished. “He’s also a great cook.”

  “Sounds like you hit the jackpot,” Lina said, winking at her brother. “I’m happy for you.”

  “Thanks,” Zeb gushed, turning toward Alex. “I love him.”

  Alex blinked back the tears, certain he’d lose his shit, but thankfully Auntie suggested a photo op in front of the Christmas tree.

  “We can send it to your parents, so they’ll know you connected over the holidays,” she reasoned. “Come on, everyone gather around.”

  Zeb reached for Alex’s hand.

  “Don’t you want me to watch from the side?” Alex asked, resisting. He was thinking of Zeb’s parents and the questions he might provoke.

  “No,” Lina said, grabbing his other arm. “You’re family now. We stick together.”

  “Are you sure?” Alex asked Zeb.

  “One hundred percent.”

  At the last minute, Lina squeezed in between Alex and Zeb.

  “What are you doing?” Zeb asked.

  “Let’s keep Mom and Dad guessing about Alex,” Lina said. “It’ll give us time to work on our strategy.”

  “Do they know about you?” Zeb asked.

  She shook her head.

  “That’s a relief,” Zeb joked. “I won’t feel so guilty when we’re trying to resuscitate them.”

  Lina sighed. “Heads will definitely explode.”

  “We’ll have to figure out a way to share our truth,” Zeb determined.

  “You think that’s possible?” Lina asked.

  “If anyone can do it,” Alex interjected, “Zeb can and will.”

  “Right?” Lina said, looking up at Alex. “He’s relentless.”

  Alex couldn’t hold back the words. “I’m crazy in love with him.”

  “I love you too,” Zeb said, blowing him a kiss.

  “You guys are going to make me cry,” Lina whined. “I miss Grace.”

  “Is everybody ready?” Auntie called out from across the room.

  Alex reached for Zeb’s outstretched hand behind Lina’s back. They meshed fingers tightly, determined to bring in the New Year together. Obstacles would continue to exist, but Alex was certain they would be dealt with in the best possible way. Zeb had proven to him that nothing was impossible and love could triumph over hate. They just had to believe.

  Epilogue

  ON JANUARY second, Alex and Zeb met their roommates at P.J. Clarke’s for an early dinner. Classes resumed tomorrow, and the aspiring architects had to catch the last bus to Cornell, which departed at five. Aside from their enviable tans, Luca and Chyna were sporting matching silver bands on their ring fingers.

  Zeb zeroed in on t
he new addition immediately. “Did you guys get married?”

  Luca shook his head. “These are commitment rings.”

  Chyna’s smile was incandescent as Alex and Zeb wished them all the best.

  “When’s the official engagement?” Alex asked.

  “Sometime next year,” Chyna replied.

  “What about modeling?” Alex asked.

  “I’ll honor my commitments to the end, but I won’t renew any contracts. Now that I’ve been in this game for a while, I’ve come to the conclusion that being worshiped by strangers isn’t as satisfying as I thought it would be. I’m looking forward to starting at Cornell next fall and getting my degree in interior design.”

  “That’s a major decision,” Alex said. “Are you sure this is what you want? Your star is on the rise.”

  “I’ve given it a lot of thought,” Chyna said. “I know I’ve been very lucky, and should stay until the celebrity fades, but the conversation I had with Ian at the dance club keeps haunting me.”

  “Sugar, you’re just getting started, and I don’t see it fading any time soon. What did he say that made such an impact?” Alex asked.

  “If I wanted money and Twitter followers, I was in the right place,” Chyna shared. “Except that’s not what I want.”

  “Obviously,” Zeb said, snorting his laugh.

  “I want a real life. One I can share with Luca.”

  “That’s quite a ways down the road, isn’t it?” Zeb asked. “You’ll have your degree before he does.”

  “I’m aware, but I can get a job in Ithaca until he graduates. Then we’ll head back to Chicago.”

  “It sounds like you’ve got everything worked out,” Zeb said.

  “For the most part,” Chyna said. “In the meantime, I plan to work like a dog and amass a small fortune.”

  Alex laughed. “We’ll wave to each other in passing.”

  “What about you two?” Luca asked Zeb. “Everything good?”