Friends--And Then Some

by Debbie Macomber

  “Seems to me that you’re more worried about seeing Jake than you are about playing that song.”

  Lily kept her mouth shut. She had already said more than she’d intended.

  “Why don’t you just pay him a visit?” Gram asked, undaunted.

  “Should I?” Lily’s first inclination was to hurry to the marina, but she had her pride to consider. Already it had taken a beating, and Lily doubted it could go another round.

  “I can’t see what harm it’d do.”

  To Lily’s burdened mind it could solve several problems. To hell with her pride! “Maybe I will drop by and see how he is. Perhaps he’s been ill or something.”

  “He could even be waiting for you to come.”

  Lily sat back on her haunches and brushed a stray curl from her face. A thin layer of mud smeared her cheek. “All right, I’ll do it.”

  By the time Lily had showered and changed clothes, she had grown nervous and fidgety. Maybe going to Jake’s wasn’t the best idea, but Lily couldn’t stand the terrible silence any longer.

  On her way to the marina, she made a stop for the pizza they hadn’t gotten around to eating that other night. Carrying the thin cardboard box in both hands, Lily walked down the long, rolling dock to where his sailboat was moored.

  “Jake!” Her voice trembled as she called out his name.

  Belowdeck, Jake heard Lily’s voice calling for him and quickly closed the story he was writing on his laptop.

  Chapter Seven

  Jake’s heart sped up at the sound of Lily’s voice. He got up slowly, unsure what he should do. He’d avoided her all week and with good cause. After what had happened at their “victory celebration,” they needed to stay away from each other.

  Besides, he reasoned, Lily didn’t need him anymore; she had Rick. Jake had seen Rick’s car at the Wheaton nearly every evening. He still couldn’t reconcile himself to Lily’s dating the guy. But he had no one else to blame. He couldn’t protest at this point. He was snared in a trap of his own making. The best thing for him to do was make himself scarce.

  “Jake, I know you’re in there,” Lily called again.

  Jake’s fist clenched at his side and an irritated noise slipped from deep inside his throat. If he didn’t react it would be just like that stubborn woman to hop on board the Lucky Lady and search him out. Then he’d look like even more of a fool than he did already. Reluctantly he climbed on deck.

  “Hello, Jake,” Lily began.

  He tucked in his shirttails, giving the impression that he’d been preoccupied.

  “Lily.”

  “Did I catch you at a bad time? You weren’t asleep, were you? Gram thought you might be sick.”

  His gaze just managed to avoid hers. “This is a bit of a bad moment. I’m busy.”

  “Oh.” She dropped her gaze. “I brought a pizza. We … the other night we forgot about it.”

  “We didn’t exactly forget it,” he corrected her. “We just didn’t get around to ordering it.” His eyes delved into hers. Already it was happening. He couldn’t help noticing how beautiful she was, standing there with those huge brown eyes, looking betrayed and hurt.

  “Anyway, I thought I could bring a pizza now.”

  Jake shifted his gaze to the flat box in her arms.

  “But if you’re busy, I’ll understand.” She didn’t, not really. He must realize that coming here had cost her a lot of pride. The least he could do was make it easier on her.

  Something in her voice reminded Jake that this wasn’t any less difficult for Lily. It was wrong of him to protect his ego at her expense. “It was thoughtful of you to come.”

  The tension eased from Lily’s shoulders as Jake stretched out his hand to help her aboard. The boat rocked gently as she shifted her weight from the narrow dock to the Lucky Lady.

  “There are anchovies on your half.” She smiled up at him and Jake knew instantly that he was in trouble.

  Lily drew in a long breath as though she didn’t know what to say or do now that she was aboard the boat.

  “It looks like rain, doesn’t it?” she suggested, casting a discerning eye toward the thick gray clouds. “Maybe we should take this below.”

  Jake’s chest tightened. Being alone with Lily was bad enough, but the thought of being next to her in the close confines of the cabin was almost more than he could bear.

  “Jake?”

  “Yeah, sure.” He led the way and Lily handed the pizza down to him before expertly maneuvering the few steps that led below.

  “Have you been working on another story?” Lily asked as she spied his laptop. Crumpled yellow sticky notes littered the tabletop and filled what limited space there was in the dining area. “It looks like you’re having a few problems. Do you want to tell me your plot? That helps sometimes.”

  Setting the pizza beside the tiny sink, Jake cleared away his mess. “No,” he answered starkly.

  Lily was taken aback by his answer. For a minute neither spoke.

  “Why not?” Lily asked, trying to sound curious instead of hurt. Jake often talked out his plot ideas with her and listened to her reactions. Invariably, he argued his point and then, more often than not, accepted her suggestions.

  “Every writer comes to the time when he has to break away …”

  Lily sighed and shook her head regretfully. “Why are you so angry with me?”

  “I’m not.” The words came quickly.

  “I thought we were friends, and all of a sudden you’re treating me like I’m your worst enemy.”

  “I’m not mad.”

  “I haven’t seen you in a week. Friends don’t avoid each other like that.”

  “I’ve been busy.” Even to his own ears, the excuse sounded lame.

  “Friends are honest with each other,” Lily continued.

  “I haven’t lied.”

  “Friends tell each other what’s on their minds.”

  “Nothing’s bothering me. Why can’t you accept that?”

  Lily made a tsking noise that sounded remarkably like Gram when she was displeased about something.

  “All right,” Jake countered. “You want to talk about being friends? Fine. Then maybe you should think about what’s been going on between us. You may be innocent, Lily Morrissey,” Jake said, “but you’re not naive enough to believe that friends kiss the way we do.” Hoping to give the appearance of nonchalance, Jake leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. “I don’t like what’s happening.”

  “Nothing’s happening,” Lily said, struggling to keep her voice from rising. “We aren’t any different than we were six months ago.”

  “Oh, I beg to differ!”

  “All right, I concede that our relationship has gone to a deeper level, but we’re still good friends. At least that’s what I’d like to think.”

  Jake snorted. “We’re in serious trouble.”

  “You’re being overdramatic. I … I like kissing you. You make me feel warm and tingly inside. I just don’t think that’s wrong.”

  “Not wrong; bad.”

  “You’re only saying that because you think kissing me will lead to something more.”

  Jake looked nonplussed. “And it doesn’t?”

  “Not if we don’t want it to.”

  “Lily.” Her name came out in a rush of breath as if he were reasoning with a young child. “Kissing is only the first step. The next thing you know we’ll be in bed together and wondering how we let things go so far.”

  “You seem to be equating a simple friendly kiss with love and marriage. Good grief, Jake. We’re friends and we just happen to like to kiss each other. It doesn’t have to lead to anything.”

  “If we don’t stop thinking like this, the next thing I know I’ll be shopping for diapers.”

  Lily laughed. “Honestly, Jake, you make it sound far more dreadful than it is. Here, let me show you.” She moved across the narrow confines of the cabin and placed her hands on his shoulders.

  Jake stiffened
and jerked away as if her touch burned him. “No.”

  “It’s only a kiss, not a hand grenade.”

  “I don’t think we should be kissing.”

  “But I want to prove something.” Her voice was small and she couldn’t keep the disappointment out of it. Before Jake had the opportunity to react, she moved her mouth against his in a soft caress.

  Jake felt liquid fire seep through him.

  “See?” Lily announced proudly. “And I’m not humming the wedding march or anything. From everything Gram’s told me, there isn’t the slightest possibility of my getting pregnant from a kiss.”

  The thoughts Jake was having didn’t have anything to do with marriage and a family. His gaze fell past her to the small area where he slept. He thought about sleeping with Lily at his side and seeing her hair spread out on his pillow. The vision of her lying there without clothes and reaching her arms out to him nearly ate a hole right through him.

  “Right,” he grumbled.

  “To further prove the point, I think we should do it again.”

  “I don’t know.” He closed his eyes, knowing that one pleading glance from Lily and he’d give her anything she wanted. He hated his lack of self-control. It had never been like this with any other woman. He had always been the one calling the shots.

  Jake opened his eyes to discover Lily standing so close that all he had to do was lean forward and their bodies would touch. He could feel the heat radiating from her. So little would be required of him to press his thigh to hers, to feel her breasts against his chest. His senses were suddenly awake to her every curve and it was slowly driving him insane.

  Unable to keep his hands away, Jake tenderly cupped her cheek. Her thick lashes fluttered closed as she turned her face into his palm. Ever so gently, she kissed the inside of his hand. The inch or so between them was eliminated before another second could pass. They stood thigh to thigh, breasts to chest, and feasted on the feel of each other. With a reverence that shocked him, Jake lowered his head and claimed Lily’s mouth. Their lips met in the sweetest, most profound kiss Lily had ever experienced. Passion smoldered just beneath the surface, but this was a different kind of kiss—one that Lily didn’t know how to define. Her hand crept up his chest and closed around the folds of his shirt collar as she clung to him.

  When Jake lifted his mouth from hers, Lily smiled up at him and tears clouded her eyes. “That was beautiful,” she whispered.

  “You’re beautiful.” He tucked a strand of hair around her ear and traced her temple with his fingertips.

  She had that dreamy look of a person in love.

  Lightly, he kissed her again. “Lily, believe me when I tell you that this has to stop right now.”

  “Okay,” she murmured. She looped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his throat. He smelled of the sea and the sun. Vital and alive. Her tongue discovered his pulse.

  “Lily,” he groaned, moving his hands to set her away from him.

  “You taste good.”

  Already he was wavering. He hadn’t wanted her on his boat and here she was a few feet from his bed. They were in each other’s arms, and from the way things were progressing, only heaven knew where they’d end up.

  “I said, no more.” Forcefully Jake moved away from her.

  Lily’s expression fell into a mixture of bewilderment and hurt.

  “I told you before, I want to put an end to this nonsense. You women are all alike.”

  “Jake—”

  “It was the same thing with Elaine.” It hadn’t been, but Lily didn’t know that and Jake was desperate to extract himself before things went any further. He had to act fast. “I’m not anything like Elaine.”

  “The two of you could be sisters. You think a woman has the right to drive a ring through a man’s nose and lead him around.”

  “That’s not true.” Lily struggled to swallow back her indignation.

  “You women are never satisfied. There’s always something that needs to be changed.”

  “What have I ever asked you to change?”

  “My writing. At first you were content to read the short stories, but oh no, those didn’t make enough money, so you started pressing me to write novels.”

  “But I thought …”

  “The crazy part of all this is that for a time I even considered it.”

  Lily took a step back, staring up at Jake. She slowly shook her head, still having trouble believing that this was Jake speaking to her—the man who only minutes ago had kissed her and held her so lovingly in his arms.

  “Elaine almost ruined my life and I almost let her. Thank God I saw the light in time.”

  “Jake …” Recklessly, Lily tried one last time to reason with him.

  “You aren’t any better than Elaine, worming your way into my life, using me, and then taking it upon yourself to mold me into whatever you want.”

  “I’ve never tried to change you.”

  “Oh that’s right. You want to save me. Well, listen and listen good. I like my life. I don’t want to be saved. Got it?”

  “Would you stop shouting long enough for me to say something?” Lily demanded.

  “No. Enough’s been said.”

  “It hasn’t!” she shouted. “I like you the way you are and I have no intention of saving you.”

  Jake snorted. “That was what Elaine said.”

  “I’m not Elaine!” She stabbed a finger in his direction.

  “Right,” he snickered.

  “There’s no reasoning with you when you’re like this.”

  “Then it would be best if you left, wouldn’t it?”

  She didn’t say anything for several seconds. “Are you kicking me off your boat?”

  “I’m saying—”

  “Don’t say anything … it’s not necessary. I get the picture. I won’t bother you again … and I’ll never, ever come on board the Lucky Lady again. You’ve made your point perfectly clear.” She turned quickly and moved up the steps in a huff.

  Jake didn’t move. Above him, he heard Lily’s footsteps as she hurried across the deck. Her steps were heavy and their echo cut straight into his heart. The frustrations of a lifetime of bitterness suddenly surfaced and he struggled against the urge to ram his fist through the side of the boat. He paced the tiny, enclosed area in an effort to compose himself. It was what he wanted. Lily was gone. He didn’t doubt her word; she wouldn’t be back. He’d driven her away for good.

  But Jake couldn’t imagine what his life would be like without her. There were better ways of handling this situation. He could apologize, but his pride sneered at the thought. No, he’d bide his time and try to forget how deeply he cared for her. That was the only solution to avoid ruining both their lives.

  * * *

  By the time Lily slid onto the bench at the grand piano at the Wheaton that evening, she was outwardly composed. But the inner battle continued to rage. She didn’t know which had hurt the most—Jake comparing her to that horrible Elaine, or when he’d told her to get off his boat. Both had devastated her to the point that she hadn’t been able to talk to Gram.

  Lily placed her hands over the ivory keys and her fingers moved automatically, playing from memory. Lily had learned not to involve her mind in the music. If she did, she’d have been half crazy by now. Her smile was pasted on her mouth, curving her full lips slightly upward.

  The manager strolled past her once and Lily dropped her gaze to her hands. Usually his presence meant she had done something that annoyed him. Lily no longer cared. If he fired her, she’d find another job. The monotony of playing the same songs night after night had robbed her musical gift of the natural spark she’d once possessed. She hardly ever sat at the piano to goof around anymore. And all this for what? The only wealthy man she’d met in a year’s time at the hotel was Rex Flanders and that had turned out to be a bust. Even now, Jake’s negative reaction to the Texan confused her. He hadn’t so much as seen Rex and he’d forced Lily into promising t
hat she wouldn’t go out with the middle-aged man.

  When Lily had finished the first half of the evening’s set of music, she took a break. Henry, the senior bellhop, stopped her halfway across the lobby.

  “Miss Lily, there’s a message for you.” He strolled across the carpet to hand her a beige envelope.

  Lily accepted the letter and her heart flip-flopped in her chest. For one insane moment, Lily thought it might be from Jake. After a glance at the slanted strokes of the cursive script, she recognized the handwriting as Rex Flanders’s.

  The first genuine smile of the evening came.

  Hello, Lily,

  I’ve been thinking about you lately, and about that old song you hunted down for me. As I promised, I’m back in San Francisco and I’m hoping that you’ll allow me to show you my appreciation. I meant what I said about taking you to dinner. I insist. It’s the least I can do to thank you.

  I’ll meet you in the lobby at nine-thirty. Don’t disappoint me this time.

  Rex

  Folding the single sheet over, Lily tucked it inside the envelope. She would join Rex for dinner. Her promise to Jake had been made under duress. Besides, she owed him nothing now. He’d made that clear. He had no reason to care if she saw Rex or any other man, for that matter.

  * * *

  Parked outside the Wheaton, Jake leaned against the side of his cab and crossed his arms, watching the entrance. Lily was due out in another hour. He needed to talk to her so he could explain that he hadn’t meant what he’d said. The anger had been a ploy to keep her out of his arms, but he hadn’t meant to insult her. The apology burned in his chest. The minute she came out through those doors, he’d go to her and admit he was wrong. That was the very least he could do. She deserved that and a lot more.

  Once he’d made his peace with Lily, Jake decided, they had to have a serious discussion about what was going on between them. They had to stop pretending their kisses didn’t mean something, that they were simply friends. For his part, Jake was convinced that a serious relationship between them wouldn’t work. Their life goals couldn’t be more different. He wasn’t going to change. And if Lily wanted a wealthy man, then she ought to look elsewhere. She was putting her schemes in jeopardy by flirting with him.