Bewitched, Blooded and Bewildered

by Robyn Bachar

  “You’re supposed to be resting.”

  “I don’t have time to rest. I’ll be all right.”

  “You were shot. More than once. I have the bullets to prove it.” I pulled said bullets out of my pocket and held them in the palm of my hand. Lex stared at them with a grim expression. “I almost lost you. You seriously almost died in my arms. Don’t push yourself. I can’t handle losing you. We can’t handle losing you.” I rubbed my future baby bump for emphasis. “You can’t leave me to raise a baby guardian on my own. I don’t know anything about guardian stuff.”

  “I’m not leaving you. Come here,” he said, tugging me toward him. After stuffing the bullets back into my pocket, I leaned forward and kissed him, and then lay down next to him. He rubbed my back and stroked my hair. I heard his heartbeat, strong and steady, and that was comforting. I didn’t want to think of his thready pulse from earlier or the sight of him lying on our living-room floor, covered in blood, with Bubba standing over him whimpering with canine fear.

  “Portia took the dogs to Faerie,” I said, even though it was a non sequitur. “The cats too. And all our furniture.”

  “Guess that’ll make moving easier.”

  I smiled. “True.”

  “If I promise to take it slow, will you let me shower?” he asked.

  “I wish you’d give it a few more hours.”

  “We don’t have a few hours to spare, sugar. Rest is a luxury, not a necessity.”

  I sighed and accepted that I wasn’t going to win this argument. “Okay, fine. But go really slow. If you faint and I have to call for help, you can’t be mad if half the household sees you nekkid.”

  “Won’t you be mad if other people see me naked?” he asked.

  “Yes, that too. So don’t faint.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  I helped him out of bed, and he moved in slow, cautious degrees. I gave him a gentle hug once he was on his feet, afraid to hurt him. Like my former ensemble, his clothing was a bloody, ruined mess. I felt sorry for the housekeeping staff, but if they worked for Harrison they probably had a lot of experience getting blood out of bedding. I waited for a snarky comment from him in the back of my thoughts, and I remembered with a giddy wave of relief that the bond was broken, and I didn’t have to put up with him objecting to my inner monologue ever again.

  After helping Lex strip, I watched him like a hawk while he showered, my muscles a knotted bundle of tension as I waited for him to slip or fall. Thankfully he survived without any mishaps, and while he was toweling off I returned to the room to look for new clothes. I doubted Harrison had a room prepared with everything in Lex’s size, like he did with mine, but I discovered a set of sweats and a plain white T-shirt on the bed, which had been stripped of its bloody linens. Harrison’s clothes? They weren’t the same build—Lex was a little taller, as well as broader and more muscley. Zach looked like a guy with a personal trainer. Lex looked like the personal trainer.

  I took the clothes back to Lex. “Well, it’s better than nothing, but there aren’t any socks, shoes or underwear.”

  “I’ll live. Maybe we can get Portia to pack us an overnight bag once she shows up.”

  I nodded. It wasn’t a bad idea. I watched him dress and tried to remind myself that I was doing it to keep an eye on his health and not on his package. How was I supposed to concentrate on politics and the hunter problem if I was distracted by the knowledge that Lex was going commando? Once he was as dressed as he was going to get, I poked my head out into the hallway and looked for a minion. No one in sight, so I called out for Faust.

  “Is your Oberon feeling better?” he asked when he appeared.

  “Yeah. Do you want to have our powwow now?”

  “If your husband is up to it, yes.”

  “Sure.”

  “Very well. If you will wait here, I shall fetch Zachary.”

  I nodded, and he disappeared again. I ducked back into the room and let Lex know that Zach and Faust were on their way. Lex nodded, his jaw set in a stern line. He was sitting in the chair I’d been playing cards in, and I took Faust’s empty seat. The cards had vanished into thin air, another reminder to never trust playing cards from a faerie. They could’ve been marked the whole time.

  Faust and Zach entered the room. The faerie crossed over to us and sat on the edge of the mattress. Zach, on the other hand, remained near the door, looking cranky.

  “You look much improved, Lord Oberon,” Faust commented.

  “I’m feelin’ better. What happened to the hunters?” Lex asked.

  “They have been transported to a secure location. We are going to interrogate them soon,” Faust replied.

  “I’d like to be there when you do.”

  “You don’t seem strong enough for that,” Zach said.

  “How hard are you going to ask questions?” Lex asked.

  “The dead are rather amiable when dealing with necromancers,” he replied. “I shouldn’t need to torture them. Unless you want me to, of course.” He glanced at me, and I frowned.

  “That’s kinda gratuitous, isn’t it? To torture someone who’s already dead?” I asked.

  “Perhaps. It can be satisfying, depending on the corpse and its crimes,” Zach informed me. I shuddered, but I wasn’t sure if it was revulsion at him or at myself for wanting the hunters to keep suffering. “You don’t believe the hunters are deserving of it?”

  Lex snorted and shook his head in disgust. I was willing to bet torture was not in the guardian playbook.

  “Do I think they’re deserving of punishment? Yes. But we don’t know what their motives are. Were. Whatever. For all we know, their superiors could’ve told them we were crazed serial killers or something. We need to know who’s in charge and what they’re up to,” I argued. “And we need to know what’s up with the demon involvement.”

  “This is true.”

  “I’d like to be there when you find that out,” Lex said again. The two men sized each other up.

  “Very well. We will go in the morning, after you’ve rested,” Zach said.

  “That simple?” Lex questioned.

  “They aren’t going anywhere, and a few hours shouldn’t make a difference. Losing an entire team should make them cautious.”

  “Or it’ll make them vengeful and out for blood,” I countered.

  “Let’s hope that’s not the case,” Zach replied. “In the meantime, I believe you both could use a few more hours of sleep. Though I would suggest you move back to the room you were in previously. You should be more comfortable there.”

  I nodded. No argument that I could use more sleep.

  “Trying to separate us?” Lex asked.

  “Tempting though that thought might be, no. I was suggesting that you both move.”

  “You’re not going to try a little vengeance of your own?” Lex asked.

  “If I wanted you dead, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” Zach said. “I won’t deny being upset, and you’ll never be on my Christmas list, Duquesne, but I’m smart enough to know that we have a bigger enemy in the hunters. We don’t have time for personal squabbles. Agreed?”

  “Agreed. Though there is one more thing I’d like to say before we close the subject.” Lex rose to his feet and crossed the room, and they stared at each other for a moment before Lex punched him in the jaw. I winced as Zach staggered. “Don’t put your hands on my wife again.”

  The vampire rubbed his jaw, glaring at Lex. “I don’t intend to,” Zach said sullenly. Lex extended his hand, and they shook on it. It was a very manly moment, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. At least maybe they’d both be calmer from now on, though I doubted they’d ever be “let’s have a beer and watch the game” buddies. I looked at Faust, and the faerie shrugged.

  “I’ve been hit by many jealous husbands over the years,” Faust said. “But faerie men are wanderers. I’m sure you’ll have to mediate a few such problems in your time as Titania.”

  I nodded and then looked
from Faust to Zach thoughtfully, tilting my head to the side. “Come to think of it, he can’t manhandle me again,” I said.

  “Oh?” Faust said.

  “Yeah.” I turned to Zach and pointed at him. “You’re faerie-blooded. You have to be nice to us.”

  Zach’s jaw dropped. “How did you…? You told her?” he said incredulously, turning his attention to Faust.

  “The lady does have a valid point, but as the descendant of a shadowspawn faerie you do fall into a legal gray area.”

  “Well, let’s pretend like you want to be on your best behavior for once, and just try to be civil and respectful like grownups from now on,” I said.

  “Fine. Since you’re so chummy with them, you can show them to the other room,” Zach grumbled. He turned and left, and Faust stood up.

  “Of course. If you will both follow me?”

  We returned to the room I’d been in before the mess of glass and blood had been cleaned up, and my bloody footsteps were gone as though I’d never been there.

  “If you need anything, pressing the blue button on the phone will contact the kitchen,” Faust said. “I will fetch you in the morning when it is time to leave.”

  “Thank you. For everything,” I said. “I really…I wish there was something I could do to help you in return.”

  The faerie smiled softly. “You already have. With any luck, my expulsion won’t matter much in the months to come.”

  “Do you think they’ll agree to dissolve Faerie?” I asked. “It seems like a horribly bad idea. Hell, we might need to evac more people there before the magicians get wiped out like the elves did.”

  “Well, we shall see. Rest well.”

  “Thanks,” I said again, and he popped out of the room. I turned to Lex. “Do you feel better now that you’ve decked Harrison?”

  He shook his head. “I should’ve cut his hands off. It would have made the point clearer.”

  “Eww, gross.”

  “He’d heal it. Vamps can reattach anything that’s severed. Unless you destroy the limb, like if it’s burned.” Lex’s brow furrowed with a thoughtful expression, like he was pondering ways to sever Zach’s hands and toss them into a fireplace.

  “No. Just stop right there. If you drop Harrison into a pit of molten lava, he’ll just become Darth Vader. No one wants that.”

  He laughed and nodded. “You’re probably right.”

  I slipped off my shoes, emptied my pockets, and climbed into bed. I wasn’t about to strip, because I didn’t trust the place, and Lex seemed of the same mind, because he got into bed fully clothed as well. We left the lights on. Though I was sure I’d never fall asleep in that situation, I snuggled next to Lex and dropped off a few minutes later.

  I was awakened the next morning by Lex nudging me as there was a knock at the door. I lifted my head up in time to see a maid in an honest-to-god hotel-maid’s outfit entering the room. She carried a stack of fresh towels and what looked like more clothing and a pair of boots.

  “Good morning,” she greeted us brightly. She was young and cute and smelled of sorceress magic, and I bet she was one of Harrison’s regular snacks. “I’ve brought fresh towels and a new set of clothing for Mr. Duquesne. These should be in your size, but I apologize if they don’t fit. We guessed.”

  “Thanks,” Lex said. “And you are?”

  “I’m Trisha. You can call for me at any time with the blue button on the phone,” she replied, nodding in the direction of the bedside table. “Breakfast is being served now, if you care to join Mr. Salerno for it.”

  “Anthony? He’s here?” I asked.

  “Yes, he is our guest for the time being.”

  “Huh. Thanks. How do we get to breakfast?”

  “Turn right, go down the hall, take another right, down the main stairs, and follow the sound of music. Mr. Salerno is fond of dance music.”

  Trisha set the clothing down at the foot of the bed, and then disappeared into the bathroom with the towels. I looked up at Lex and he shrugged.

  “Can we get a maid? I want fresh towels every morning too,” I said, and he snorted.

  “We can if you want, but my mama will give you a hard time for not bein’ able to run your own household if you do.”

  I scowled. That was just unfair. Wasn’t having someone else to do your work the whole point of being wealthy? Trisha smiled at us as she carried the old towels away and left us alone once more. We both decided to skip taking a shower. I rebraided my hair while Lex dressed in the new clothes, including a pair of boxer briefs, so I no longer had to concern myself with his lack of underpants. He had on a pair of black jeans, black shirt, and black boots—all brand new—so he rather looked like himself again. I could almost imagine that nothing bad had happened last night, except for the fact that we were in Zach’s mansion.

  We followed Trisha’s directions, and at the foot of the stairs we heard the sound of a thumping techno dance beat coming from off to our left. The beat led us into a bright, sunlit dining room. Too small to be the formal dining room, I was sure, but still very nice. I spotted Anthony at the head of the table, reading a Chicago Tribune, his feet propped up on the table.

  “Were you raised in a barn? Where are your manners?” I scolded as I knocked his feet down.

  Anthony folded his paper and set it aside, then turned the music down with a tiny remote. “Sorry. How are you feeling?”

  “Not bad. How come you’re here and not at school?”

  “I withdrew for the semester. A lot of kids did. Parents are all spooked because several students disappeared. Mr. Harrison decided it was safest for me to be here,” he explained.

  “And your parents agreed?” Lex asked.

  Anthony nodded. “This place is like Fort Knox. Boring, but safe. Help yourself to the buffet—there’s enough food for a dozen people.” He gestured at a wooden cabinet that lined one wall, with a variety of silver-domed dishes atop it.

  “Thanks,” I replied. I grabbed a plate and loaded it up with eggs, pancakes, sausage, and even a cinnamon roll. The selection was mind-boggling—who eats crab legs for breakfast? I reached for a coffee cup and then stopped myself with a sigh. Orange juice for the win.

  Lex filled a plate as well, but his was more protein-focused. I paused before digging in and texted Marie. “Did he buy you breakfast?”

  “So where are you going to stay if your place has been compromised?” Anthony asked.

  I glanced at Lex, because I had no idea. “We haven’t figured that out yet,” he said.

  “You could stay here. There’s a guesthouse.”

  A guesthouse? After living in apartments my entire adult life, I was still coming to terms with the idea of a guest room. An entire house for guests was mind-boggling. “I’m not sure that’d be a good idea,” I replied.

  “Why not? Like I said, safe as Fort Knox. And you can come and go from the guesthouse as you please. You wouldn’t have to check in with Mr. Harrison or anything.”

  “Jealous?” I asked, and he grimaced.

  “Maybe. Not a lot for me to do around here. I tried to convince him to let me stay in the tower, but he said no. Apparently it’s too hard to monitor who comes and goes. That’s why he’s staying here now.”

  “There’s no way they’d go after him. I mean, we’re nobodies, but the world would notice if Zachary Harrison went missing,” I replied.

  “Thank you, Catherine, that’s very kind of you,” Zach said from the doorway. I turned and looked at him. Aside from the sunglasses, he looked fairly normal. Without a word Anthony got up and pulled the curtains closed, shutting out the sunlight.

  “It’s true, though, isn’t it? The twitstorm alone would be horrendous. Isn’t TMZ camped on your lawn too?” I asked.

  “Across the street, actually,” he corrected.

  “See? There’d be YouTube videos and conspiracy theories. It’d be a PR nightmare.” My phone chirped, and I looked down to see a text from Marie. “Yes, he did. He’s a complete gentleman.”
I snorted and moved the phone before Lex could read it.

  Zach nodded and then poured himself a cup of coffee. “Which is why this location is safe. And you are welcome to stay in the guesthouse.”

  “Marie too?” I asked, and Lex frowned.

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Okay.” I picked up the phone to text her, and Lex stopped me.

  “We’re not stayin’ here,” he said sternly.

  “Why not?” I asked. You know, aside from the obvious Lex-hates-Zach’s-guts reason.

  “I thought the point of breakin’ the bond was to get away from necro politics.”

  “Would staying in the guesthouse mean we’d have to go to your dead-people parties?” I asked. Anthony inhaled a mouthful of coffee and nased it into a napkin.

  Zach’s brow furrowed with annoyance. “No. You are no longer required to attend gatherings.”

  “See? Away from necro politics,” I said. Lex scowled, and I took his hand. “I don’t think we have a lot of options. We can’t go back home. They’ll jump us the moment we move into a new place. And as much as I love Mac, I don’t want to stay with him. Aside from the Simon factor, they’re remodeling. There are probably all kinds of paint and varnish fumes that I’m not supposed to be inhaling. Our only other option is staying in Faerie.”

  “You’d be safe there,” Lex pointed out.

  “Yeah, but it’ll be hard to get anything accomplished here if we live there. No cell phones. No e-mail. We’d have to go through my cousins for everything… Why does this argument sound familiar? Oh yeah, because we didn’t hide in Faerie where there were damn vampires trying to kill me before I became Titania.” I glared at Zach.

  He held up his hands, looking innocent. “That was all Laura’s doing.”

  “Uh huh. Well, we’re back to a run or stand-and-fight situation. So do you want to run, or do you want to stand and fight?” I asked Lex.

  “Can I have you run, and I stand and fight?” he countered.

  “It might come to that. But not yet. Just hand me a grenade launcher or something, and I’ll stand in the back,” I said. Anthony chuckled, and I frowned at him. “What’s so funny?”