Christmas Wishes at the Chocolate Shop

by Jessica Redland

  I screwed my face up. ‘That’s disgusting. Did you swallow them?’

  ‘I couldn’t. I’d rather have eaten the dog food.’

  ‘Me too.’

  ‘Do you know what our Tim bought me for Christmas the next year? A bag of sprouts.’

  ‘No!’

  ‘They reeked. He’d wrapped them about a week before Christmas and put them under the tree, but they gradually got shoved closer to the radiator as other gifts were added so they were seriously minging when I opened them.’

  His eyes had sparkled throughout the story and the affection he had for his brother radiated from him. It was such a contrast to Ricky talking about his brother. ‘Our kid’s a stupid twat,’ and phrases along those lines were all I heard from him. Whenever I expressed envy that he had a brother, he’d just laughed and said having a sibling was crap. Matt clearly had the relationship with his brother that I’d have loved if I’d had a sibling.

  The kettle boiled and he busied himself making the drinks. I loved how at ease he seemed and how, in the space of five minutes, he’d instantly brightened my dismal day.

  I picked up the separate sprout tub. ‘Let’s pop these bad boys in the bin, eh? Thanks for keeping them apart from the rest of the food.’

  ‘They can contaminate, you know. Mum told me I was being daft, but I refused to risk it until I knew your stance.’

  ‘My body is a sprout-free zone so thank you for understanding.’

  The food looked delicious and tasted even better, despite it being microwaved. We sat on the sofa together and Matt chatted about his day as a farmhand while I eagerly tucked in, trying not to focus on how shocked Nanna would be at the sight of Christmas dinner not being consumed at the dining table. Every time I ate a TV dinner, I imagined her and Grandpa looking down on me, tutting.

  ‘Emotional day?’ he asked after I declared myself stuffed and took the remnants into the kitchen.

  I curled up on the sofa beside him again. ‘What gave it away? The red eyes, the snotty tissues everywhere, the stench of wine, or the chocolate mess?’

  He smiled. ‘I’m no Poirot but I think they were all pretty good clues. Better or worse than you thought?’

  ‘Worse. A lot worse.’ I pulled Nanna’s cardigan across me for comfort and told Matt how I’d already been in an emotional mess but the discovery of Ricky’s Christmas gifts for me, followed by a trip down Memory Lane with the album had finished me off.

  Matt gently touched my arm, making my heart race. ‘I wish you’d have come up to the farm. I hate to think of you spending the day here all alone, getting so upset.’

  ‘I’d have been horrendous company. I love that you offered, though. Maybe next year?’

  ‘We have a New Year’s Eve party at the farm each year…?’

  I shook my head. ‘Thanks, but I have another date with a bottle of wine and a box of tissues.’ I started giggling as I realised what I’d just said. ‘It sounds like one of Ricky and BJ’s dates.’

  Matt laughed with me but my giggles quickly turned to tears and Matt cuddled me to his side.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘I can’t believe I’ve got any tears left.’

  He didn’t say anything; just held me close. We sat like that for a good half an hour or so until his mobile phone rang.

  ‘Sorry,’ he said as he answered it. ‘Hi Libby… yeah… Well, you didn’t say you’d be back this early or I’d have been there … With a friend … Come on, Libby, I’m allowed to have friends … Don’t be like that!... Okay, I’ll be home soon. Bye.’

  I grimaced. ‘Are you in trouble?’

  ‘No more than usual. I’d better go.’

  ‘Of course.’ I jumped up. ‘I’ll see you out. Ooh. Your tubs. I haven’t washed them.’

  ‘Shove them in the bag and I’ll do it at home.’

  At the door, Matt turned to me. ‘I’m so sorry to shoot off like this. Will you be okay?’

  I nodded. ‘I’ve made it through the worst. You get back to Libby and your family. Thank your mum for dinner.’

  ‘If you change your mind about New Year’s Eve…’

  ‘I’ll let you know.’

  Matt gave me another hug and a kiss on the cheek before setting off down the stairwell. He turned at the corner and gave me a smile, then disappeared out of sight.

  I closed the door, my heart thumping, still feeling the touch of his soft lips against my skin. Crap! No matter how much I tried to convince myself that I had a stupid crush on Matt which would eventually go away, it kept deepening. Why did he have to be so gorgeous and lovely?

  Returning to the lounge, I slumped onto the sofa. What now? I flicked the TV on and discovered that The Vicar of Dibley Christmas Special was on. Surely watching the wonderful Dawn French would take my mind off Ricky, Matt, and being alone, but it didn’t. Nanna and Grandpa had adored the programme so it reminded me of them, and the image of the vicar ramming sprouts down her neck made me think of Matt and I really didn’t want to go down that road. Ricky had already broken my heart. I certainly didn’t need Matt to crush the remaining pieces.

  I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. My first Christmas without my grandparents was always going to be tough and the emotions had been escalated this year because of a combination of Stacey infiltrating my thoughts thanks to those Christmas albums, and Ricky’s humiliating infidelity. I’d almost made it through the day and next year wouldn’t be nearly so bad … hopefully. All I needed to do now was make it past New Year and I’d be fine. At least the shop would be open after Boxing Day so I’d have plenty to occupy me during the day. The nights were going to be harder, especially with Jodie away, and New Year’s Eve would be the hardest of them all.

  I’d always preferred to spend New Year’s Eve at home. Nanna, Grandpa and I, and then just Nanna and I, would stay in, order a Chinese, and watch the TV coverage of the different cities round the world seeing the New Year in. We’d loved watching the excitement and fireworks from the warmth and comfort of the sofa instead of being jostled by large crowds. This year, keen to do something completely different to take my mind away from my usual family New Year, I’d booked for Ricky and me to go away for a two-night romantic break in a log cabin in Kittrig Forest, just outside Whitsborough Bay. We’d have enjoyed a hot tub on the balcony, and relaxed as a romantic meal was prepared and served to us on New Year’s Eve. It was too late to get my money back, but I certainly wasn’t going to go on my own, so it looked like I’d be in the flat, watching the TV coverage alone. So very alone.

  One year later

  November

  21

  ‘And now for the final Best of the Bay Award for the evening. This one’s for the best new independent retailer, a category which includes cafés and bars as well as shops. The shortlist is: Charlee’s Chocolates, Glitter and Glitz, Heart and Home, Pink Mist, and Snackies.’

  My heart thudded as the compère read out the company names and I glanced round the table which my team were sharing with Sarah and the staff from Seaside Blooms.

  ‘It’s yours,’ Sarah mouthed to me.

  I shook my head. No way. The shortlist had been announced on Thursday and Jodie and I had nipped to the pub after work to celebrate and analyse the other businesses. She was convinced we had it in the bag, but I wasn’t so sure. They were all impressive and most of them had huge followings on social media, which was where half of the vote was coming from, with the other half coming from the independent traders in town. The Castle Street traders were an exceptionally supportive bunch and, as I was the only shortlisted business on Castle Street, I was fairly sure I had their votes. Would it be enough? I wasn’t local; something I was very aware could stand against me.

  ‘And the winner is…’

  Jodie squeezed my hand as the compère opened a silver envelope.

  ‘… Charlee’s Chocolates.’

  It was only when everyone at my table got to their feet, clapping and cheering, that I registered that I’d won. Me! In a
daze, I was pulled to my feet and pushed towards the stage. Self-consciously, I tugged down the skirt of my short, flared, navy cocktail dress and prayed that I wouldn’t go splat, unaccustomed as I was to wearing heels.

  ‘Go Charlee!’ someone yelled as I ascended the few steps to the stage, blinking in the spotlights.

  The compère shook my hand, kissed me on both cheeks and signalled towards the podium.

  ‘You want me to make a speech?’ I asked.

  ‘Just a short one.’

  Still feeling dazed, I stood in front of the microphone as the applause settled. ‘Er, evening everyone. I should probably have taken the advice of my assistant manager, Jodie, and prepared a speech but I didn’t dream for one moment that I’d actually win! Don’t panic! I’ve watched the Oscars before so I can probably blag something.’

  I paused while I tried to get my brain into gear and was surprised to hear the crowd laughing. Had I made a joke? ‘They said short so I won’t upset them because they still have my prize…’ More laughter. ‘I’d like to thank my best friend Jodie and our apprentice Ashleigh who’ve been with me since day one. You two are amazing and this award is as much for you as it is for me. I didn’t think I’d find anyone else as enthusiastic and devoted as you two but our new apprentice, Kieran, is already following in your footsteps so thank you to Kieran too.

  ‘I opened Charlee’s Chocolates almost a year ago and have been quite overwhelmed by the friendship, encouragement and support of all the Castle Street traders. You guys are mint. It would not be a short speech if I name-checked everyone so I hope you’ll forgive me for just mentioning Sarah Derbyshire from Seaside Blooms. Sarah, I’ll always be grateful for your help last October in helping out a complete stranger. Thanks to you, I found my dream premises and also a friend for life.’

  I looked across to Sarah and she blew me a kiss. ‘Thank you to my other new family at Bay Trade. I’ll be gagged if I name you all too, but I have to name-check Matt Richards of Richards & Sons because, without him rushing to avert my flood disaster, I might have had a ceiling cave-in and missed my first Christmas.’

  I pointed towards the table where Matt was with his dad and brother, having received an award themselves earlier that evening for Best Trade Provider. My eyes filled with tears as my gaze connected with the man I’d been helplessly in love with – unrequited love – for the past year. I blinked rapidly and gulped down the lump in my throat. No way could I lose it on the stage in front of all these people.

  ‘Finally, congratulations to the other nominees. In my eyes, you’re all worthy winners. In a retail world where it’s so challenging to compete with high street chains, supermarkets, and the Internet, we’re so lucky to have a town filled with thriving, unique, independent businesses. Apologies if this sounds really cheesy, but Whitsborough Bay rocks! Thank you.’

  As I stepped away from the podium, I was stunned to see everyone in the room standing and applauding.

  ‘Amazing speech,’ the compère said, grinning. ‘And you say you hadn’t prepared anything.’

  ‘I hadn’t. That was completely off the cuff, but from the heart.’

  ‘I loved it. Stay on the stage for a moment for photos.’ I moved aside as the compère stepped up to the podium and made some closing remarks followed by more applause then there were photos. It all felt like a dream. I was still shaking when I stepped off the stage, clutching my engraved glass plaque, a framed certificate and an envelope which the compère had said contained a cheque.

  I hadn’t even made it halfway to the table before Jodie grabbed me in a huge bear hug. Thankfully somebody took the plaque and frame out of my hands before I dropped them. Ashleigh was next, mopping her eyes. Kieran went for an awkward limp handshake. We’d make a hugger out of him eventually. Then it was Sarah, her husband Nick, her team, and other members of Bay Trade, a business club that Nick had set up several years earlier with his two best friends. It sounded geeky but it was a group of business owners who met once a month for a few drinks, lots of laughter and banter, and some exchanging of ideas and services. Sarah had asked at the start of the year if I wanted to join them. I already knew that Matt was a member so it was a no-brainer for me.

  Matt. My heart thumped as I spotted him hovering nearby waiting for his moment to congratulate me. I felt shaky all over again as he stepped forward, wrapped his arms round me and held me close. ‘I knew you could do it. Congratulations,’ he whispered. ‘How do you feel?’

  How did I feel? About what? About winning the award or about being held in the arms of the man I absolutely adored but who was marrying another? About how every photo he showed me of his barn conversion had me wishing I was the one picking out soft furnishings and paint colours instead of Libby? About how I’d pointed out my dream kitchen in his catalogue and had immediately pictured Matt and me cooking together as we chatted about our day at work?

  ‘Overwhelmed,’ I said, truthfully. ‘I feel overwhelmed.’

  Matt’s dad called his name so he said we’d catch up later. I watched him cross the room, cursing the event for being black tie because Matt in a tux had floored me. From the moment I met him, I was attracted to him but never had a man looked hotter than Matt did tonight.

  I returned to my chair and gulped down the remnants of my glass of wine – half a large glass. Grabbing the bottle from the centre of the table, I refilled it, sloshing wine onto the crisp white tablecloth. I gulped down several more mouthfuls then put my glass down and closed my eyes for a moment.

  ‘Right you, you’re coming with me.’ Jodie grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet.

  ‘Where are we going?’

  Without answering, she power-walked me across the hotel lobby, past an enormous Christmas tree, and to a pair of high-backed leather armchairs in a darkened corner of the bar. ‘Sit.’

  Feeling a little intimidated at Scary Assertive Jodie, I did as I was told.

  ‘Charlee! This has to stop,’ she said, her tone soft yet insistent.

  ‘What has?’

  ‘You and Matt.’

  ‘There is no me and Matt.’

  ‘Exactly. And there never will be if you don’t tell him how you feel. So you need to be honest with him, get him to end it with Libby, move into his gorgeous barn conversion and live happily ever after. Or you need to accept it’s never going to happen and get over him. I know that’s easier said than done but, seriously Charlee, you can’t waste another year head over heels in love with him like this. Look at you! You’re shaking and I’ve just watched you neck back a huge glass of wine. And don’t try to tell me it was because of the shock of winning the award when I just watched you and Matt together. I know it was the effect he has on you.’

  I hung my head. She was right about it all.

  She sighed and leaned a little closer. ‘I hate to lecture you but this should be a special night for you and you deserve it so much but I wouldn’t be your best friend if I let you ruin it by getting hideously drunk over a man. Even a man as lovely as Matt. So which is it going to be?’

  I held my head in my hands. ‘I can’t tell him how I feel.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because he’s engaged. I can’t and won’t steal someone else’s man. I know how that feels, don’t I?’ I looked up at her. ‘I can’t put someone else through what I went through.’

  ‘I’m not proposing you get down and dirty with him in full public view,’ Jodie said. ‘I’m just suggesting that you let him know that Libby isn’t his only option.’

  ‘It’s still stealing someone else’s man.’

  ‘It isn’t. It’s giving him a little encouragement. If he doesn’t take it, then it’s his decision. You won’t have actually done anything.’

  ‘You can package it up however you want, but it’s still stealing someone else’s man.’

  Jodie sat back in her chair, clearly frustrated with me. ‘Do you really think that Matt’s living the dream with Libby?’

  ‘All relationships have ups and d
owns.’

  ‘Yes, they do, but they mainly have ups which is why the couple work through the downs. I know he’s not constantly bitching and moaning about her because he’s too lovely, but most of what Matt says about Libby is negative, isn’t it? He usually laughs about it but there’s no denying that the woman is seriously high maintenance and we both know that first-hand from meeting her several times.’

  I shrugged. ‘Maybe he likes it that way.’

  ‘Maybe he does, and maybe he’s just putting up with it because he doesn’t think he has another choice.’

  ‘And you think he’d jump at the chance to be with me instead?’ I asked, doubt hanging off every word.

  ‘Yes!’ Jodie sat forward again. ‘I said it from the start and I haven’t changed my mind. I’m convinced he feels the same way about you but you’ve stupidly got yourselves into the classic friend zone and you’re both too scared to say anything in case the friendship is ruined.’

  She was right about the friend zone and it was a tricky place to be because I absolutely didn’t want to do anything to jeopardise my friendship with Matt. I loved spending time with him, and couldn’t bear the thought of not having him around.

  The moment I’d met Matt, I’d felt an instant connection, as though I’d known him for years. That initial click had developed into a friendship, which had strengthened as he’d helped me get through the aftermath of that video. I’d been really touched by his strength and support changing the locks, turning up after work to take me out for a drink, and bringing me dinner on Christmas Day. Even though I’d repeatedly refused his invitation to join him at the farm on New Year’s Eve, he’d turned up again on New Year’s Day with a tub full of party food, some party poppers, and a bottle of bubbly, insisting that we toast to a fresh start and a happy New Year.

  After that, Matt and I had seen each other fairly regularly. We met up at monthly Bay Trade meetings and he brought his nieces into the shop once a month to pick out a chocolatey treat. We went out for a meal or drinks with Jodie on several occasions, and sometimes it was just the two of us although, in some ways, I preferred it when Jodie was with us. When Matt and I were alone, it took considerable restraint not to gaze lovingly into his eyes, reach across the table to hold his hand, or to kiss him goodnight.