Stacey saved us. ‘I don’t know what the protocol is. A handshake?’
I smiled. ‘Me neither.’ I shook her hand. ‘Don’t be a stranger.’
Her eyes brimmed with tears again. She nodded and smiled, then turned and headed in the opposite direction.
Releasing a long breath, I shook my head, then set off down the pedestrianised precinct. That was some evening. I didn’t know what to think or feel. The man who I adored as a friend and employer and, yes, had looked up to as a father figure, especially after Grandpa died, was actually my biological father. The woman I hated who’d made my working life hell was my biological half-sister. And the other woman who I’d spent a lifetime being indifferent towards for giving me up at birth had never actually given me up. Physically, she had, but emotionally she’d been tied to me and had actually selflessly given my grandparents that second chance of a family by letting them raise me.
Everything had turned on its head. That family that I’d craved, I now had. Pierre had four brothers and three sisters, which meant I had aunties, uncles, cousins and second cousins. But after thirty-one years without any of them, did that really make them family? What was family? Was it shared genes or was it the people who were there for you no matter what? An image of Jodie popped into my head, fussing round me earlier as I pulled on my coat, nervous and worried about me meeting my birth mother for the first time. Oh my goodness! Why hadn’t I realised it before? We may not have had blood ties but Jodie was as close to me – if not closer – than a sister could be. She was my family, and I needed to tell her that. I could imagine her all alone in the flat above the shop, pacing up and down, chewing her fingernails down to the quick, desperate for news.
I took a right down Castle Street and headed towards the shop. I needed to tell Jodie what had happened and I needed to assure her that, despite an unexpected family sprouting up this evening, she would always be the ‘family’ that I valued the most.
30
‘Wow! I did not see that coming.’ Jodie slumped back in the armchair in her flat, shaking her head. ‘How are you feeling?’
I shrugged. ‘Like I’m in a really surreal dream. I keep expecting to wake up at any minute.’
‘I think I might have joined you in that dream. I can’t believe Pierre never said anything to you.’
‘I know! Imagine working alongside your daughter for ten years, knowing that she hasn’t a clue that you’re related. Pierre’s such a good man. If Stacey didn’t want him to say anything, he’d have respected that. I’m actually more surprised that Gabby didn’t let it slip when she was in one of her sulks.’
‘Oh my God! This means Satan’s Mistress is your half-sister.’
I laughed at the name that Jodie had awarded Gabby after meeting her for the first time. ‘Yep. Every rose has its thorn.’
‘So how does it feel knowing that Pierre is your dad… assuming she’s telling the truth, that is?’
‘I thought about that, but what reason would she have to lie? She knew all about him and his family and, let’s face it, I do look like him.’
Jodie studied my face. ‘You really do. I can’t believe I never spotted it before.’
‘Why would you? There would be no possible reason for you or me or anyone who knew us to think that we were related. New customers often thought I was his daughter but we’d laugh and say that it was only because we had dark hair and a similar skin tone. That must have been so weird for him, knowing they were spot on.’ I shook my head. ‘As for how I feel knowing he’s my dad, I don’t know. In some ways it doesn’t change anything because I always looked upon him like a father figure anyway, especially after Grandpa died. We’ve stayed in regular contact since he moved back to France so what’s going to change? I probably do need to accept his invite to visit, but I’d have done that next year anyway.’ I’d spoken to Pierre every couple of weeks, and emailed regularly in between. When I was setting up the shop, he’d been eager for photos and we’d discussed the merits of different tempering machines, moulds, and packaging materials. It had been helpful to chat to him about the business side of things and he’d given some great advice. We’d talked about me visiting and he said that, although he missed me and would love to see me, I needed to give the business my full focus in the first year of trading. He suggested that, if I took a holiday, I’d spend it worrying about the shop and wouldn’t relax at all. He knew me so well.
‘I’m not going to suddenly start calling him “dad”,’ I said. ‘That wouldn’t seem right. Or would it? I don’t know. I think I’m going to ring him tomorrow and let him know that I know. We’ll take it from there. Stacey promised not to let him know we’ve met so that I can be the one who surprises him.’
‘And what about Stacey?’
‘I had her completely pegged wrong, didn’t I?’
‘You weren’t to know. Does she want to be part of your life now? Properly, I mean.’
‘Yes, but she doesn’t expect to be. It’s completely up to me but I don’t know what I want right now. I need more time to process things.’ I told her about the conversation I’d had with Stacey and we speculated about what the future would look like with my birth mother in my life and how my relationship with Pierre might change.
‘Do you want to crash here?’ Jodie asked, rubbing her eyes and yawning sometime later. ‘There’s fresh bedding in your room.’
I looked at my watch and did a double-take. ‘It’s after two! How did that happen?’
‘We had a lot to talk about.’
‘We’re going to be useless at work tomorrow.’ I stood up and stretched. ‘Yes, I will stay, if you don’t mind.’ At the start of the year, we’d talked about whether I should give notice on Coral Court and move in with Jodie but I’d decided to stay put. I was concerned I’d never take a break from work otherwise, especially with Ricky gone from my life, and I suspected Jodie would feel obligated to support me. Even though it didn’t make sense financially, that physical distance between home and work provided a valuable work/life balance for us both. I’d stayed over with Jodie on several occasions when we’d been up chatting till the early hours or we’d rolled in after a night out and I couldn’t be bothered to walk home. I even had a selection of emergency clothes, some PJs and a full set of toiletries in the second bedroom now to make things easier.
‘You know you’re welcome to stay any time.’ Jodie stood up too and took our empty mugs into the kitchen area. ‘Now that you’ve got into a routine with your work/life balance, I’d suggest that you give notice on your flat and move in properly, except that would be pointless as you’d only move straight out again.’
I frowned. ‘What makes you say that? I’ve lived with you before. I know all your bad habits already.’
‘It’s nothing to do with me or my bad habits, not that I have any of those, you cheeky mare. It’s because you’ll be moving into a lovely new barn conversion with a rather lush plumber friend of ours who has finally opened his eyes and seen beyond the friend-zone.’
An image of that brief kiss popped into my head, making my heart race and my stomach do somersaults. ‘Do you think so?’
‘I know so. When we were out after the lights switch-on, I could see it, Sarah could see it, Nick could see it. In fact, everyone could see it. Nick even joked that we should open a book on what time you’d finally kiss. Everyone was convinced it would be that night. And then his phone rang.’ Jodie walked towards her bedroom door. ‘It’ll happen, Charlee. Just maybe not as quickly as we’d have hoped thanks to Libby’s little Ecstasy incident. He’s a decent bloke so he’s not going to abandon her while she’s still got issues, but I guarantee that it’s you he wants to be with. You’ve found the man of your dreams and you’ve found the family you longed for. It’s shaping up to be a pretty good Christmas, don’t you think?’
Although she was smiling, there was a slight edge to her voice when she said the bit about family and I could have kicked myself. I’d dropped by to say something specific to
Jodie and I’d managed to get side-tracked.
‘I realised something when I was with Stacey this evening,’ I said, making my way round the sofa. ‘I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t nice discovering that I’ve got a load of blood relatives who I might have a relationship with, but I’ve already got a family. It only consists of me and one other person but that person means the world to me. She’s my real family. Apologies if this sounds cheesy. I know that we’re not bound by blood, but you’re like a sister to me, Jodie, and I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
I stretched out my arms for a hug. ‘I thought you’d never realise,’ she said, holding me tightly. ‘You’ll never have to be without me. I’ll always be here for you.’
‘I know, and I’ll always be here for you too.’
31
On Friday, a few days later, I planned to go to the shop early to make a large batch of moulded Christmas figures. We were approaching the penultimate shopping weekend before Christmas – likely to be very busy in the shop - so I wanted to ensure we had plenty of stock.
When my alarm sounded at 5 a.m., I glanced out of my bedroom window into darkness but, stepping out of the shower fifteen minutes later, the sky had turned pink and heavy flakes were drifting down.
By the time I left Coral Court, the streets had turned into a winter wonderland. I paused under the entrance canopy, a bubble of excitement welling inside me just like it used to when I was a child and snow meant being pulled to school on a wooden sledge and snowball fights at playtime.
A thick blanket of snow had already covered the ground, coating the parked vehicles and hugging the trees and it didn’t look like it was going to stop anytime soon. With my wellington boots and thick socks keeping my feet warm and dry, I jumped in all the deepest snowdrifts and created patterns with my footprints in the fresh snow all the way into town.
I paused at the end of Castle Street drinking it all in. Each of the Victorian lampposts wore several inches of snow like a top hat. The warm golden glow lit up the snow flurries as they waltzed their way to the ground and the snow covering the cobbles was completely untouched. I stretched out my arms to either side and weaved my way between the lampposts with my head tilted back so the snow could kiss my face.
Halfway down the street, I changed direction and headed back towards Charlee’s Chocolates where I stood in the middle of the street, stuck my tongue out and caught a snowflake on it. I breathed in the cool morning air and smiled contentedly. Everything felt so magical and I had this feeling in my gut that something amazing was about to happen. I’d already found my family, so did that mean that something was finally going to happen between Matt and me?
I unlocked the shop door and took one last look heavenwards. ‘If you’re up there, Nanna and Grandpa, you know what my Christmas wish is.’
We’d barely been open for five minutes when the doorbell tinkled.
‘Matt!’ I put down the box of chocolate drops I was restocking and rushed to him with my arms outstretched. ‘How’s Libby?’
He hugged me and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, sending the butterflies in my stomach into a frenzy. ‘She’s doing really well.’
‘And how are you?’
He wrinkled his nose. ‘It’s been an interesting couple of weeks. I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch much.’
‘That’s okay. You’ve had a lot on your plate.’
‘Hi Matt,’ Jodie said, emerging from the workshop with a box of paper carrier bags. ‘Still snowing, eh?’
Matt brushed the flakes out of his hair, laughing. ‘Just a bit.’
‘Has Charlee told you her exciting news?’ Jodie asked.
‘No.’ He smiled at me. ‘What’s happened?’
‘Something unexpected. My birth mum came to the shop on Tuesday and I found out who my dad is.’ It still didn’t feel real saying it, as though I was reciting the lines from a play instead of real life.
‘Charlee, that’s huge. How—?’
But he was interrupted by the door going and a couple of customers coming in and walking straight to the till, which usually meant they needed help. Jodie was on hand to deal with one of them, but the other was going to need me.
‘I’d better let you get on. I know this is a bit short notice, but do you have any plans for tonight?’
‘Nothing exciting. I was going to catch up on the accounts.’ I made a snoring sound to indicate how much that job thrilled me.
‘Would you be willing to ditch the paperwork and let me take you out for a drink?’
‘Consider it ditched.’
Matt smiled. ‘There’s something I want to talk to you about and I need to hear all about your big news. That’s amazing. Pick you up from your flat at 7.30?’
‘See you then.’
‘Wear warm clothes, a coat, and some boots. We’re going somewhere a bit different.’
‘Sounds intriguing.’
Matt leaned in and kissed me on the cheek again, making me hold my breath.
‘Wow! It’s beautiful!’
The ‘somewhere a bit different’ turned out to be the haybarn at Matt’s parents’ farm. Coloured lanterns were strung round the entrance, and strings of star-shaped fairy lights hung like curtains on the wooden walls.
‘We had a party here for our Erin and she insisted on lights everywhere. We’ve never taken them down.’ He led me over to a wooden bench next to a lit chiminea. ‘Don’t panic about the flames. I promise there’s no hay anywhere near.’ He lifted a couple of bottles of lager out of a cool box, opened them, and passed me one. ‘I hope this is okay. I thought that we were bound to bump into someone we knew if we went to a pub, so this is the safest way to ensure no interruptions after last time.’
‘It’s lovely and a good idea.’ Gazing round the barn, I had that same feeling I’d had in Castle Street this morning that something special was about to happen. With the lanterns and fairy lights, the barn certainly felt like the sort of place where a little Christmas magic could happen and wishes could come true.
We sat down on the padded seat cushion and Matt peeled a strip off the label on his bottle. He was clearly building up to something and I sensed he might need a little coaxing to start speaking.
‘So what did you want to tell me?’ I asked.
‘You’ve got to tell me your news first.’
I shook my head. ‘Oh no you don’t. You asked me out tonight because you wanted to talk about something so you’re first. I insist.’
Matt took a sip from his bottle. ‘You’re sure?’
‘I’m sure.’
‘Okay.’ He took a big gulp from his bottle this time. ‘I want to tell you something about Libby, but nobody knows this. Not even my parents.’
‘Go on…’
He fiddled with the label again, clearly nervous about what he was about to reveal. I’d never seen him nervous before. Was he going to tell me that Libby was pregnant? I bit my lip and hoped that I could be a good enough friend to act like I was genuinely delighted for him.
‘I need to go back to the beginning so please bear with me if it doesn’t seem relevant at first.’
‘Okay…’ My stomach lurched. Be a good friend. Whatever he says, he obviously needs someone to talk to.
‘When we were at school, Libby was one of the cool kids. You know the sort? Pretty, sporty, popular. Completely out of my league.’
I wanted to object but me telling him he was gorgeous wasn’t exactly timely.
‘I was one of the geeks at school. In fact, I was a walking stereotype of a geek. I wore glasses, had braces, had this crazy wild curly hair, and was into science and maths; not the sort of kid she’d lower herself to speak to, which was fine by me because I actually couldn’t stand her. We’d probably have gone through school having nothing to do with each other but our parents had met at some event when we were fourteen and became great friends. Her parents would often come to the farm to visit mine and they’d bring Libby with them. Being the same age and at the same sc
hool, I was expected to entertain her.’
He paused and I nodded at him to continue.
‘The first couple of times, she was exactly the pain in the arse I’d expected her to be. She moaned about the mud, the midges, and the smell. The cows scared her and she reckoned the sheep were staring her out. Yeah. I know! She seemed drawn to the horses so, stuck for anything better to do, I asked her if she wanted to ride one day. It turned out that she’d had riding lessons when she was little but had a fall and hadn’t ridden since. I decided to make her my pet project. If I could get her confident enough to ride again, even if only round the paddock, she might start being nice and the family visits might be bearable. It took some doing but over the next few months she got her confidence back and, during that time, I got to see a different side to her. Obviously I saw her vulnerability as she faced her fears, but I also saw this relaxed person who was fun to be around. I thought maybe the farm Libby was the real her and the school Libby was an act. She still didn’t speak to me at school but she’d give me this secret smile when she saw me.’ He smiled wistfully. ‘That’s when I fell for her.’
‘I didn’t realise you’d been together that long,’ I said when he paused.
He shook his head as he sipped his drink. ‘We weren’t. Nothing happened back then. Not even a hint of anything but friendship and I never told her how I felt. She started coming outside her parents’ visits so she could ride more often and sometimes we’d walk across the fields afterwards and talk about anything and nothing.
‘When we were seventeen, she turned up one evening in a right state, demanding to go for a ride. She wouldn’t tell me what was wrong, but we saddled up and went for a canter. When we stopped, she slumped forward on her horse, crying. As I helped her down, the long-sleeved T-shirt she was wearing rode up her arm and I saw she was covered in cuts.’
Christmas Wishes at the Chocolate Shop Page 22
