“Minimal is still too much. And I’m not convinced you’re letting her go because of her computer skills. I think it’s a misguided attempt to matchmake.”
Blake snorted. “Do I look like a matchmaker to you?”
“If the shoe fits.”
Blake crossed his arms, looking at him steadily. “What’s the real problem here, Noah?”
He copied his pose, arching an eyebrow. “It’s what I said. That she’s going on a shifter mission, when she doesn’t even know shifters exist. That she could be in danger while we watch dragons. And how the hell am I supposed to keep our existence quiet from her while we’re gone? You saw her. She’s already suspicious. She needed to go home and get away from this world, not get drug deeper into it.”
Blake nodded his head. “Yeah, I did see her. And I could also see that she wasn’t going to just ignore her instincts while they were blaring that something was wrong. She thought we were an MC that dealt with illegal shit, and she still followed us to the meeting so she could secretly listen. You’re crazy if you think she was just going to leave in the morning.”
“I could have talked her into it,” he muttered.
“Like you talked her into it after you pulled her out of the room? Look, I get that you’re upset. But you need to start focusing on how you’re going to satisfy her curiosity so she’ll leave once you two are back. That is, if you actually want her to leave.”
Before he could protest that he did want her to leave, Blake was already out of the room. Cursing, he yanked his ballcap off, just barely resisting the urge to crush the bill. He was stalking over to close the door when Tarun knocked and stuck her head in.
“What, is there a tag team effort in the Enforcer house today?”
Tarun huffed a laugh as she came in. “Was Blake coming from your room, then?”
“He was. Still refusing to tell Lily she can’t go tomorrow.”
“I think maybe she should.”
He looked at her incredulously, watching as she perched on his bed. “Have all of you lost your minds? A human shouldn’t be tagging along on a shifter mission.”
“I don’t think it’ll be dangerous, though. I’ve been honing my gift since I’ve been here, and I can now actually search for threats, not just wait for them to come to me. I feel no threat toward either of you on this mission.”
Blowing out a breath, he hooked his hands on his hips and stared at the window. Every shifter had a gift, something extra they were born with. Some were physical, some were mental, and having a good gift was essential to being an Enforcer. Tarun’s was being able to sense when threats were looming, and it was what brought her to them a couple months ago. When she mated Luke, she asked if she could join the Enforcers, and Blake said yes.
Noah’s was being able to sense what other shifters gifts were and use them as his own. It was a handy gift to have, especially during missions, and he used it now, borrowing Tarun’s and seeking out any physical danger directed toward Lily.
Tarun was right, though. There wasn’t one.
“That’s something, I guess, but the future can change in an instant. Someone could catch us and then bam, danger will surround her.”
“And if something like that happens, you’ll protect her.”
“Like I protected Brandon.”
The words were spoken low and soft, but she heard them anyway, and he watched in the reflection from the window as she straightened with interest.
“Brandon, as in Lily’s late husband?”
“Yeah. We were deployed together when that bomb detonated. We both should have died, yet because I’m a shifter, I walked away alive. I couldn’t protect him and keep him alive long enough to get back to her. What’s going to make her any different?”
“She was right. You do feel guilty about living while he didn’t.”
He looked over at her, his eyebrows high. “You’ve been talking to her?”
She waved a hand. “That’s not important. Noah, you need to stop thinking like that. Maybe you would have died if you were a human, but like it or not, you were born a shifter. You should feel lucky, not guilty. And it was a bomb. How could you have protected Brandon against that? It’s totally different than the mission with Lily.”
“Other than Luke, he was my best friend, Tarun. I promised myself I’d make sure he got back home to Lily. Instead, I walked away when I have no family, and he died, leaving a grieving wife behind. How is any of that fair?”
Standing, she walked over to him, placing her hand on his arm. “You know as well as I do that life isn’t fair, Noah. And maybe you didn’t have blood family, but you and Luke are just as close as brothers. I know it isn’t the same as a wife or a mate, but you would have left people grieving behind you, too.”
“I know. Maybe what I feel isn’t rational. Hell, it probably isn’t. But it’s been three years, and I still feel that way. And there’s no way I could ever forgive myself if I failed to protect Lily, too.”
“You’ll protect her. I have faith that you will. You should have a little, too. I know you better than to believe that you’d ever let anything happen to her.”
“I hope you’re right about that.”
She stepped back and stared at him with a speculative gleam in her eyes that he wasn’t sure he liked. “How’s your lion?”
Frowning at the change in subject, he hesitated for a moment before he spoke. “He’s the same as usual.”
“And that missing piece of you?”
Frown deepening, he said slowly, “Still missing.”
She looked disappointed for a moment but then shook it off. “Lily’s very pretty, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, she—wait. No, Tarun. It isn’t what you’re thinking.”
“Isn’t it?”
“She’s not my mate.”
“You always said you were ready to find your mate, so don’t fight it.”
He exhaled with exasperation. “There’s nothing to fight. My lion hasn’t said she’s my mate.”
“You told me yourself your lion rarely speaks. How is he when you’re around her? And don’t think about lying, because I’ll be able to hear it if you do.”
Opening his mouth, he started to say his animal was his usual self, but paused as he remembered how at ease his cat had been around Lily. “He’s a little calmer,” he admitted reluctantly, holding up his hand when she smiled. “But that doesn’t mean what you think it does. He’s calmer around you, too, and you’re sure not my mate.”
“Don’t dismiss it either, Noah. Your lion is usually agitated, yet calms around her. And you, who are usually calm, are agitated around her. Not to mention the attraction you feel for each other. I think there’s a good chance she could be your mate, so don’t go screwing this up.”
“She’s not attracted to me, Tarun. And even if she was, it could never work out between us.”
“She looks at you the way I look at Luke. If that’s not attraction, I don’t know what is. She might not realize it herself yet, but it’s there, and you’re blind if you don’t see it. And why couldn’t it work out? Because of Brandon? It’s not your fault that he died, Noah, and you’ve got to let that go. You need to even if she isn’t your mate, but especially if she is.”
He blew out a breath as he shook his head. “That’s part of it. There’s also the fact that I’d feel like I was betraying Brandon, and the fact that she still loves him. There are so many reasons why couldn’t work, and none it could. But it’s all moot, because she’s not my mate.”
“The point is, she could be. Stop putting all these obstacles in your way. I didn’t know Brandon, but if he loved Lily, he’d want her to move on and find happiness again. It wouldn’t be a betrayal. And of course, she still loves him. There’s probably a part of her that always will. That doesn’t mean she can’t find love again, and no reason it couldn’t be with you.”
“I think you’re reaching with your mate theory. I just saw her again tonight for the first time in three years, an
d you’re already thinking she could be my mate. Why are you pushing this so much?”
She sighed as she touched her hand to his shoulder again. “I’ve been observing you two together since she first walked in. I think my theory holds weight. And I’m pushing because you’re my friend, and you deserve happiness so much. If she can bring that to you, I don’t want you pushing her away. And I think she needs you, Noah. I think she came all this way for what she thought was one reason, but the real reason runs deeper, and she’s barely begun figuring it out yet. Whatever that reason is, it’s tied to you. Can you really send her away, knowing she needs your help?”
Tarun smiled at him, gently, like she was trying not to spook him, and then walked out of the room, shutting the door softly behind her. With a groan, he sunk down onto the bed, leaning over with his head in his hands.
She was right. If Lily needed him, he couldn’t send her away without trying to help her first. He just had no idea how he, of all people, could help her. He tried hard to be normal, and when he couldn’t manage it, he pretended fairly well. Burying himself in his work, while trying to help his friends—the Enforcers were, basically, a bunch who enjoyed sticking their noses in each other’s business—all the while hoping that he’d wake up one day with all his issues miraculously gone.
The truth was, though, that he was fucked up. Had been for pretty much his whole life. He didn’t remember much of his life before Luke’s pride and family took him in. His own pride had been decimated, and though he tried, those memories were locked inside him and he couldn’t access them.
Whatever it was he’d seen and gone through had affected his lion. The only thing he knew for sure from his early years was his cat hadn’t always been so agitated, wasn’t always so silent. That came after his family and pride were destroyed. He knew other shifters who had animals that came out of trauma scarred and damaged beyond repair, so he tried not to worry so much about his lion’s silence because his cat could be so much worse.
But still—it wasn’t normal. Normal animals spoke and interacted with their human counterparts.
Then there was Jerry, the fucker in Luke’s pride who killed Luke’s family because he wanted to be Alpha. Noah and Luke fled then, when Luke was twelve and Noah was fourteen, and they did all right for themselves. But it never should have happened. It seemed clear to him that lions were just fucked up on the whole.
All of that was topped off by his decision to join the Marines. He’d been trying to escape his past, although he hadn’t realized it at the time. Back then, all he knew was he wanted to help people. But going to war hadn’t helped himself, and he came out of it even more messed up than before.
So how the hell could he help Lily? He did his part with the Enforcers, tracking down rogue, evil shifters, and making sure they didn’t hurt anyone. That was how he fulfilled the need inside him to help others. Unless she had someone trying to track her down and hurt her, he wasn’t going to be of any help to her.
Maybe Blake was right about some of it, though. He wasn’t sure when she became so stubborn, but he didn’t think she was going to leave until she was assured that he wasn’t doing anything stupid.
Although, stupid might be a relative thing, because not trying to persuade her to leave in the morning was pretty fucking stupid, too.
He wasn’t going to try to force her to go anymore, though. He’d use this mission to assure her that he wasn’t throwing his life away on illegal shit, and then bring her back to the clubhouse safe, and send her on her way back home.
His lion snorted, and Noah huffed a laugh as he fell back on the bed.
Fuck, he was so screwed.
Chapter Five
Lily walked downstairs the following morning, fighting a yawn. She hadn’t slept well at all, and she desperately needed some coffee. She totally expected Noah to try to talk her out of going some more, and she needed to be on her game for that discussion.
Coming to a stop in the archway, she looked around, surprised at the difference between night and day in the bar. It seemed much bigger without all the patrons in it, and much quieter, too. Almost eerily quiet. She half expected someone to jump out at her.
She snorted to herself. There was nothing eerie about it. The lack of sleep—and all of her suspicions—were making her imagination run wild.
“Still set on going with me today?”
Jumping, she slapped a hand over her suddenly racing heart and spun to face Noah. “Jeez. Make a little noise when you walk or something. And yes, I am.”
He studied her, his green eyes seeming to almost glow. “Are you sure?”
Swallowing hard, she forced the jitters she felt down deep. Maybe she didn’t need that coffee after all. Eerily quiet bars and eyes that glowed? She didn’t think adding caffeine to the mixture was a good idea at that point.
“I’m sure. Still set on trying to talk me out of it?”
He slowly shook his head. “No. If you really want to go, I won’t stop you. You’ll probably be bored, though. Want some breakfast?”
Her eyebrows rose as she watched him walk past her and into the bar. Hurrying after him, she took a seat on a stool next to him as he told a big man with a beard to bring two plates of breakfast.
“Why did you change your mind? You wanted me to leave last night.”
“I was worried you’d be in danger last night, but Blake said you won’t be. We’ll need to be careful, though, because I don’t want that to change. Besides, maybe if you see that I’m not involved in anything shady, you’ll stop worrying so much about me.”
Pursing her lips, she studied him thoughtfully. “The girls said you guys are like a private sector of law enforcement.”
If she hadn’t been watching him so closely, she would have missed the way he stiffened slightly and the surprise that flashed quickly through his eyes. She straightened in her seat, her instincts blaring again. Had the law enforcement part been a lie? Although, he’d been the first one to tell her that the night before.
But why would they lie? They’d volunteered the Enforcer title, and then when she’d asked, they’d agreed. But maybe it was really drug deal enforcer, or something equally bad.
Then again, why would Noah let her tag along if that were the case? Still, there was obviously something fishy going on.
“The girls?” he asked, bringing her back to the conversation.
“Yeah, Damara and Tarun both stopped in to chat last night.”
“Tarun didn’t say Damara had been there, too. I’m sorry if they bothered you. And yeah, like I said last night, we’re basically law enforcement. Not a branch the general public knows anything about, though.”
She narrowed her eyes, wondering if his earlier reaction had been because he hadn’t known they’d both talked to her last night. Either way, her antenna was firmly up, and she was going to Nancy Drew the shit out of her time with them until she figured out the truth.
“Where’s Damara from? I’ve been trying to figure out her accent since I heard her speak, but I can’t.”
“She’s from Greece. A lot of people have trouble placing it.”
“Ah, that’s it. It seemed familiar, but I couldn’t figure it out.”
The man Noah talked to a few minutes before came back out with a plate in each hand, setting them down in front of them. He nodded to her before turning to walk away.
“Thanks, Liam,” Noah called at his retreating back.
Lily glanced down at her plate, her eyebrows raising when she saw the food. “Eggs Benedict?”
Noah glanced over at her. “Is that okay? Liam can make something else, if you’d rather.”
“No, this is fine. I just wasn’t expecting this from a bar.”
He chuckled as he handed her a glass and passed the pitcher of orange juice. “We get that a lot. Liam runs the grill part of the business, but he’s more like a chef than a bar joint cook. None of us are complaining, though.”
She forked a bite into her mouth, moaning as flavor expl
oded on her tongue. “Oh my God, this is amazing. Why in the world does he work in bar when he can cook like this? He could be a famous chef with a five-star restaurant. Oh, wait, is he an Enforcer, too?”
Nodding, he took a sip of juice before answering. “He is. And all of us own a share in this place, so he’s technically not just the cook.”
“Liam… O’Brian, right?”
“How did you—” he broke off with a chuckle. “That’s right, you’ve seen the deed. Yeah, that’s him.”
“And Damara must have been the D. Costas. If I’d remembered her last name, I could have worked her accent out on my own. There were two of those names, though.”
“Her brother, Dmitri.”
She nodded and they fell silent after that as they finished their food. The meal was delicious, and she couldn’t help thinking they were an interesting bunch so far. Noah was an ex-Marine, Liam was a chef, and Damara and Dmitri were from Greece. She wondered what little tidbits she’d learn about the others before her time there was up.
She’d just taken her last bite when the front door opened and a tall man with dark hair and olive skin walked in. He glanced around, his brow unfurrowing as his eyes landed on Damara, who was sitting at a table with Blake, and he nodded at her as he started walking back to the hallway.
“Wait a minute, Dmitri,” Blake barked as he stood from his seat. “Where the hell have you been? You missed a meeting last night and no one seemed to know where you were.”
Damara looked down at the table, the same innocent expression on her face she wore the night before, and Lily suppressed a smile. She had a feeling that wherever Dmitri had been, his sister knew but wasn’t telling.
“I only had one missed call,” Dmitri replied, his accent thicker than Damara’s, and his voice was a little rusty, like he wasn’t used to speaking much. “If it had been urgent, you would have kept trying to get ahold of me.”
“You still didn’t answer my question.”
“Because what I do on my personal time is my own damn business and not yours.”
Lily’s eyebrows rose as Dmitri walked away, leaving Blake scowling behind him. Blake was a big guy—not gigantic like Noah, but bigger than Dmitri, and he was clearly pissed off. Not to mention, she thought Blake was the boss, but Dmitri didn’t seem concerned in the slightest that he just made him angry.
Thief (Blood & Bone Enforcers MC Book 2) Page 4
