Thief (Blood & Bone Enforcers MC Book 2)
Page 10
“You’re not a wolf, though, right? Wolves don’t purr. So what are you?”
Lips quirking, he nodded to the stuffed animal next to her. She frowned as she followed his gaze and then her eyes shot to his. Laughing, the sound full of disbelief, she shook her head.
“You’re a lion? Seriously?”
“I am,” he confirmed, still searching for any hint of unease from her. “Imagine my surprise when you picked that stuffed animal out. Still not freaked out yet?”
“I actually think this is all pretty cool, but I can pretend to freak out if it makes you feel better.”
Chuckling, he relaxed a bit, kicking his legs out and trapping her feet between his own. “So why don’t you go ahead and ask me all those questions I can see burning in your eyes.”
Her eyes lit up as she leaned forward. “Do you have superhuman strength?”
“I do. How’d you know?”
“You carried both of the suitcases like they were nothing. But I wasn’t sure if that was natural or not,” she replied, running her eyes over him in a way that heated his blood. “What else do you have that’s extra?”
“You mean besides the ability to turn into a lion when I want to?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, besides that.”
“Enhanced vision and hearing. I don’t get sick, and I can hear lies. And all shifters have a gift.”
“A gift?”
“Yeah, something special that most others don’t have. They’re unique to each of us. It can be something supernatural, or just an enhancement of a human ability. Some gifts are mental and some are physical.”
Her eyes were wide and a smile was playing on her full lips as she spoke. “This is so cool. Okay, so what’s your gift?”
“Sensing what gifts other shifters have and using them when I’m near them.”
Her eyebrows rose. “So, what you’re telling me is that you steal them. You’re a thief.”
Laughing, he squeezed her feet with his. “I guess. I prefer to use the word borrow. I don’t get to keep the gift, after all. Only use it when they’re near.”
“Same difference,” she said, waving a hand. “And the Enforcers are all shifters, too, right? And you’re not typical law enforcement. You’re like shifter cops.”
“Yes, we’re all shifters. And kind of. We’re more like detectives than patrolmen. And we don’t have a judicial system. Whether someone goes to shifter prison or has to be put down is our call. We don’t have courtrooms or judges.”
For the first time during the conversation, Lily looked a little wary. “Put down? Like an animal?”
“We are animals, Lil.”
“But you’re people, too.”
Exhaling, he pulled his hand down his beard, hoping he could find the words to explain it right. “We’re separate from our animals, yet still one. It’s hard to explain. They have their own thoughts and feelings, and they’re present inside us, aware and able to speak their thoughts to us. And when we shift, it’s like it flips. The human half is still aware, and still there. For the most part, we’re still in control.
“But just like with humans, there are good and bad shifters. The difference is a bad shifter is almost always dangerous. Think about it. If I wanted to go out and wreak some havoc, how much damage could I do as my lion? Our animals are always much larger than a regular animal. And once the human goes bad, the animal becomes corrupt, as well. Sometimes, the human isn’t an evil person, but the animal is. An evil shifter has to be put down. They’re too dangerous to let live, because there’s no redeeming them, and they can hurt or kill many before they’re stopped.”
“I guess I get it,” she said, looking troubled as she rubbed her arms. “It just seems wrong to use the term put down in conjunction with a human.”
He kept his voice gentle when he spoke. “We’re not just humans, though. And humans do a version of the same with the death penalty.”
“Decided by a judge within the court system.”
“They’re aren’t enough of us to warrant something like that. And the Enforcers are trained to know who needs to be put down, and who just needs prison, just the same as a human judge is. Trust me, we try our best to put the bad ones in prison. It just isn’t always possible.”
She sighed, moving to sit next to him, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together. “I don’t want you to think I don’t understand the concept of it. I do. It’ll just take time to wrap my mind around it.”
“I’m just glad you didn’t run screaming the second you figured out what I am. Take all the time you need.”
Glancing down, he took in the sight of her hand nestled in his. Their arms were resting on the leg that had taken the brunt of the explosion, and he stiffened as he realized what he’d left out about shifter abilities.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, her brow furrowed as she looked up at him.
“I realized I forgot to tell you about our healing abilities. We heal much faster than humans do. We don’t even get scars—it’s like the injury never happened once it’s finished healing.”
She nodded, her look confused. “Yeah, I kind of figured that one out on my own. I mean, I saw you in the bathroom just now. And I suspected before that. There was no sign, no limp, nothing, that you’d been hurt. An injury as bad as the one you sustained wouldn’t just fade away.”
“And you don’t hate me now?”
Her eyebrows rose as she jerked her head toward him. “Why would I hate you?”
Exhaling heavily, sure she wouldn’t want him touching her anymore when he explained fully, he let her hand go and stood, moving to pace in front of the beds. She turned sideways to watch him, her brow wrinkled with confusion, and he went to adjust his ballcap, only realizing then that he hadn’t put it on after she came into the bathroom. Fuck. It was his crutch, his calming method, and he wasn’t used to not having it. He felt more naked than he had in his boxers when she walked in.
“Noah? What is it?”
Fuck it. Might as get it over with. Rip it off like a band aid and hope one day, she could forgive him.
She will. She’s our mate, his lion said, his pacing calm since Lily was in the room.
You need to talk more.
One day.
Shit. That was it, and he couldn’t use his animal to stall anymore. Not that his animal speaking to him wasn’t a big deal. It was. That was only the second time in ten years.
“The healing ability means that we can get hurt and barely feel it a moment later. The night you walked into the clubhouse, the guy who hit me broke my nose. But by the time you were fussing over me, it was completely healed.” Pausing, he rubbed a hand over his head, inhaling deeply. “It also means that we can survive something that can kill a human. The healing kicks in instantly and it works fast. That doesn’t mean we can’t die. It just means we don’t die as easily.”
He finally slowed his pacing as silence rang through the room, but he couldn’t look at her yet. Looking down at the carpet, he concentrated on his breathing, trying to work through the panic clawing at his chest.
The bed rustled as she stood but he kept his eyes down as her bare feet came into his line of sight. Her toes were painted a shiny apple red, and he wondered how he hadn’t noticed that earlier.
They were stupid thoughts, but they were all he could manage in that moment.
“Oh, Noah. Is that where all your guilt is coming from? Because you’re a shifter who survived the bomb, and Brandon was a human who didn’t?”
Her voice was soft and soothing, and his brow furrowed as he looked up at her. Her beautiful eyes, with the light blue near the pupil that darkened as it got closer to the rim, were soft as she gazed at him.
She wasn’t angry or hurt. She was worried. About him.
“You’re not mad?”
“Why would I be mad at you? Because you walked away and he didn’t?”
“Well… yeah.”
Sighing, she took his hands in hers and squeezed. “We h
aven’t talked about this, so I could be wrong, but I’m guessing you were born this way?” She paused and he nodded in agreement. “Noah, you can’t help how you were born, no more than Brandon could. No more than any of us can. Knowing why you were able to survive doesn’t make any difference in the long run for me, and I’m sure Brandon would agree. I just wish you could see that, too.”
He swallowed hard, glancing down for a moment before locking eyes with her again. “I should have died, Lily. I would have, if I’d been human. Instead, I lived, and I’d promised myself I’d get Brandon home to you in one piece. The most important promise in my life, and I broke it.”
Her gorgeous blue eyes slowly filled with tears. “Noah, it wasn’t your fault. I appreciate the promise you made to yourself, and it means the world to me. But it was war. That kind of stuff happened far more than anyone liked, but we all knew the risks. You and Brandon knew when you joined the Marines, and I knew when I married him, knowing he was going to join.
“We knew, and we accepted. Some of us made it out and some didn’t. Some of us escaped without being scarred forever by the things we saw and did, and some didn’t. There’s no rhyme or reason for why some were okay but some weren’t, because war has no rhyme or reason. Not really. It wasn’t your fault.”
His throat tightened with emotion, and he squeezed her hands. A tear slipped down her cheek, and he let go of her hand so he could brush it away. His lion wasn’t speaking, but Noah could feel his emotions surge and knew the sight of it gutted him, too.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he whispered, his throat still too tight to speak.
She smiled shakily. “Don’t go taking that on yourself, too. You take so much on, and most of it isn’t even really your fault. Let me ask you this. If the situation was reversed, and Brandon had been the shifter and you died, would you resent him?”
“Of course not. I’d want him to live, no matter what happened to me.”
She smiled with satisfaction. “Exactly.”
The corner of his mouth lifted into a half-smile as he cupped her cheek. “Well, I might resent him a little, because if the situation was reversed, that means I had you first. And I’d be jealous as hell that he got to keep you.”
Her eyebrow lifted. “Keep me, huh?”
He paused, realizing what he said. Shit, that was too fast. She didn’t know about mates yet, and she hadn’t agreed to be with him beyond the trip they were on, let alone forever.
She giggled as she watched him. “If only you could see your face. And before you try, don’t apologize for that. I like the sound of it. But speaking of the situation being reversed, now let me ask you this. You might be a little jealous, but we both know it wouldn’t last long, because you’d want both of us to be happy, right?”
Cocking his head, he gazed into her eyes, watching as her tears slowly dried. He hadn’t thought of it like that. Maybe—maybe—she had a point. Because she was right. If she’d been his first and he died, he’d want nothing more than for her to move on and eventually find happiness and love again. And who better to find that with than Brandon?
Maybe Brandon would have felt the same.
“I see what you’re saying.”
“You see, but do you truly understand, Noah?”
“I still feel the guilt. I mean, I got to live and now I’m here with you, and I feel like it was Brandon who should have had those things. But I get what you’re saying, because if the situation was reversed, I’d want both of you to move on, and there aren’t many men as good as Brandon was. I’d want you two to be together. I don’t know if I can say the same for Brandon, but I promise to consider it.”
Leaning up on her tiptoes, she kissed him, her lips soft and gentle. “I wish you could see yourself the way I do, Noah. You’re one of those good guys, too. Heart of gold,” she murmured, her lips still touching his as she spoke.
She dropped back down, sliding her arms around his waist and laying her head on his chest. He closed his arms around her, wondering how the fuck he got lucky enough to have an amazing woman like her for a mate.
If he lived to be a hundred, he’d never figure it out.
Chapter Nine
Lily laid in the dark, smiling as she listened to Noah snore softly. She was tired, but her mind was racing, and she couldn’t get it to stop. She was okay with lying there and listening to Noah, though.
At one point, she would have given in to the urge to take an Ambien, but she was done with that now. For the first couple months after Brandon’s death, she hadn’t been able to sleep much at all. She was tormented by memories of his casket being lowered into the ground, and when she did manage to fall asleep, she had nightmares of blood and gore in a faraway desert.
With Ambien, she’d finally been able to sleep, and the fear of laying down and not being able to slip into slumber plagued her every night. She’d never hesitated to take it up until a few months ago. But, even though she contemplated not taking it, she always had in the end.
But she was strong enough now. Maybe Noah was right, and she always had been. Yeah, she’d needed help in the months following Brandon’s death, but she thought she could have risen above the fog of grief surrounding her before she actually had.
Sighing, she rolled onto her back, contemplating the dark ceiling. She wasn’t very proud of it, but she thought she’d become so comfortable with grieving, and so scared to leave Brandon in the past, that she clung to it with all her might.
Of course, she would have still been grieving Brandon. There was a part of her that probably always would. She just thought, if she’d made an effort, she could have pulled herself out of the mind-numbing state she’d been in sooner.
She still missed him. Oh, how she missed him. That wouldn’t ever change, either. And it seemed strange to share how much she missed him with Noah, the man she was building a new relationship with, but it felt natural, too.
Like, in a weird way, it was meant to be.
Like it was fate.
She’d never be able to choose between them, and she was glad she never had to make that choice. It would have been impossible.
But Brandon had her past, and Noah had her future.
Hopefully. It wasn’t like they’d talked about the future or anything, but she knew he could feel what was forming between them as strongly as she could. She could see it in his eyes when he looked at her.
She still couldn’t believe she’d been right about what he was. A shifter. And a lion, of all things. Her favorite animal. She used to be fascinated with them when she was a kid, and she wanted to work in a zoo so she could take care of one.
Now, there was one sleeping in the bed next to her. Kind of.
And she still felt no fear. She didn’t feel any differently about him than she had before she suspected what he was. He was still just Noah. An amazing man, with a strong sense of honor, and a huge heart.
Although, she supposed instead of saying he was basically a teddy bear inside, she should say a cuddly lion. She snorted at herself, shaking her head. Her life had taken on such a surreal quality, but she wouldn’t change a thing about how it was now.
She was finally living again, and hopefully, she’d get the chance to continue on the journey she’d started with Noah. It was so different from how she’d felt when she first arrived at the clubhouse. She’d been determined to resist the pull she felt for Noah, and unsure if she was ready to move on like that.
So much had changed since then—in a very short time frame. She felt so different inside that her mind spun with it, but she wouldn’t change a thing about it. She’d still been dwelling in the darkness a few days ago, and now she felt like she was finally living in the light again.
And the fact that she found the light at the same time she found Noah again… Maybe it was a coincidence. Maybe it wasn’t. But either way, it felt so amazingly right.
Frowning when she heard a low moan, she looked over at Noah. His head was slowly rolling back and forth on the pil
low, and as she watched, he started thrashing around under the covers, his breathing heavy.
“Noah?” she said, sitting up as concern filled her.
He didn’t respond to her voice as his thrashing worsened and he kicked his blanket off. He moaned again, the sound full of pain, and she shoved her covers off, shooting to her feet. She knew the look and sound of a nightmare. Hesitating, she pushed her hair back from her face as she stared at him, biting her lip.
What if it wasn’t a nightmare but a shifter related thing instead? Could he be shifting, or dangerous?
He moaned again and she squared her shoulders. Fuck it. He sounded like he was in pain, and wild horses couldn’t stop her from trying to help.
His legs were moving restlessly, his head still rolling on the pillow. As carefully as she could, she said his name again softly as she placed her hand on his warm shoulder.
The second her skin touched his, he calmed. He was still breathing heavily, but he wasn’t moving around, and his wasn’t making anymore noises. But when she lifted her hand away, he immediately started again.
“Shhhh,” she whispered. “I’ve got you.”
His huge body took up most of the space on the queen bed, but she squeezed herself into the free space between him and the bedside table between their beds, careful to touch him in some way the whole time.
Once she was settled next to him, she laid her head on his chest, listening as his racing heart slowly calmed. He didn’t move again for a few more minutes, and then his arm snaked around her, his big hand settling on her hip.
“Lily? Did something happen? What’s wrong?”
His voice was rough from sleep, and it sent a shiver of heat down her spine. Her whole body was waking up in a delicious way, but she did her best to tamp it down so she could focus. It wasn’t the time for those kinds of thoughts.
Lifting her head, she met his heavy-lidded eyes. “You were having a nightmare.”
His eyebrows rose and then furrowed together. “I was? I’ve never had one before. That I remember, anyway, but I’ve never been told I do before, either.”