Sunrise at Strawberry Farm: As delightfully delicious as strawberries and cream, this is the perfect summer romance to read in 2020.

by Kellie Hailes

  ‘So, you’re still on his side? Even after I’ve told you the truth? Told you what caused me to leave?’ Hannah’s spine stiffened. Further hurt saw her eyes narrow. ‘Of course you are. You’re his protégé. It’s why I never came to you that night. Never told you what I heard. There was no point in telling you; you’d have defended him like you did just now. Like you always used to. It’s why I always shrugged our conversations off, because no matter how many times I told you how hurt I was, you always minimised my feelings. It was easier for you to act like my dad was infallible. That way you wouldn’t have two failed fathers in your life.’ She shook her head and looked out over the rows of strawberries. Refused to meet his gaze, even when he reached out once more and tapped her knee.

  Hannah was steadfast in her determination not to look at him, so he was going to have to make it so she had no other choice. She needed to see that he understood, that he got where she was coming from. He shifted over so he was sitting right in front of her. Almost knee-to-knee, but not quite. She wanted space? He’d give it to her, but not so much that she could run away emotionally, mentally, if not physically.

  Not again. Not when he could see that even after all these years and all the success she’d enjoyed since leaving the farm, she still carried the scars of hearing her father’s words. Just as he carried the scars of having had a father abandon him. The difference being that perhaps for him it was easier to deal with as he’d never really known his father, never had the chance to find out that someone he loved and looked up to, as Hannah had, didn’t feel the same way.

  ‘I’m sorry you heard what you heard, Han. Truly.’

  Grey closed his eyes and cleared away the old emotions from the new. Removed what he’d believed to be true – that Hannah had left him because she didn’t love him – and replaced it with the new truth. The actual truth: that Hannah had heard the man she’d trusted and loved her whole life had no faith in her and done the only thing she thought she could do – run. Find a life where she was accepted, where she was wanted. Needed. Where people believed in her.

  ‘Had I known the truth I—’ Grey stopped himself. What would he have done? What would he have said if Hannah had come to him that night?

  ‘You’d have what? Told me not to go? Told me I was wrong like you did just now? Come with me?’ She snort-laughed as another tear trickled down her anger-inflamed cheeks. ‘You’d never have left your comfortable life behind to go on a great adventure. Risk destitution or being forced to return home with your tail between your legs. That’s just not your style, Grey.’

  Hannah’s words weren’t tinged with bitterness, they were doused in them, and Grey couldn’t blame her. Almost everything she said was spot on. He would’ve tried to talk her out of leaving, would have taken her dad’s side. Refused to hear the truth. As for leaving with her, never to return? She was dead right – he wouldn’t have.

  ‘I can’t help who I am, Han. I know my need for routine makes me a stick-in-the-mud. But I hate not knowing where I stand with people. Even thinking about having my life turned upside down makes me feel sick[HN41][KW42].’ His stomach swirled at the thought of it, and he found himself swallowing down bile. ‘I need…’

  ‘To be safe.’ Hannah met his gaze. Her eyes were stony. Devoid of pain. Resilient. ‘We all need to be safe. It’s what we all want. To be safe. To be loved. And if we can’t find it close to home then some of us have to search it out.’

  Hannah’s words sent his pulse pattering with resentment. She didn’t think she had love close to home when she was younger? She’d had him. He’d loved her with everything he had. He’d given his heart to her. He’d had eyes for no one else. Hannah had been his everything from the moment he was old enough to get a grasp of friendship and love and emotions.

  Best friends, then boyfriend and girlfriend, then soulmates, or so he’d believed. Wrongly, as it turned out.

  ‘I just threw everything you and I had under the bus, didn’t I?’ Hannah sighed, closed her eyes and massaged the area between her brows. ‘What a cow. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that. Not at all. We loved each other. What we had back then was real.’

  Grey forced himself to take a deep breath in, to calm the irritation that caused his heart to thump so hard against his chest it bordered on painful.

  ‘It was real. More real than anything I’ve experienced since.’ Grey forgave himself the little lie that made it seem like he’d fallen in love after Hannah. He’d not. Not once. The odd girlfriend came and went, but he hadn’t been able to give himself to anyone, to trust anyone, for fear they’d stomp all over him and leave him high and dry.

  Hannah’s hand dropped to her lap. Her eyes met his once more. ‘Same. I hated myself for leaving you the way I did. I don’t think there’s been a day since when a pang of guilt hasn’t hit me when I least expected it. When I don’t regret not that I left but the way I left. And it’s been so long, with so much time and distance between us, that I know saying sorry doesn’t cut it anymore. Although if it helps, if it changes things, I can text you “sorry” every single day, email you “sorry” if it’s less intrusive or, if you want to be intruded upon, I can call you daily to say sorry. Whatever works.’

  ‘All three. Every day until the day I die. And I’m going to hold you to it,’ Grey joked, hoping to lighten the mood. ‘If you don’t I’ll come back from the afterlife and haunt you.’

  ‘Excellent, a haunting. The people who live above me are going to be thrilled. Just promise you won’t moan or rattle your chains too loudly.’

  ‘I won’t. Because I won’t haunt you, because there’s no need for you say or email or text a daily sorry. I know you are, I feel it in here—’ Grey tapped his chest ‘—and that’s good enough for me. And…’ He took a deep breath in and swallowed. ‘I’m sorry too. For not listening. Not believing. Not wanting to hear. For pushing you away when you needed to be heard. I hear you, Han. I do.’

  Hannah reached out and prodded his bicep. ‘Nope. Still rock hard. For a second there I thought you’d gone all marshmallow-y soft and emotionally open on me.’

  ‘Never.’ Grey was surprised to find he was smiling at Hannah. Freely. Openly. Like he had many years before. ‘At least not on the outside.’

  ‘Wouldn’t want that. The girls on the picking crew would be so sad if those muscles of yours disappeared.’ She waggled her brows up and down.

  A warm flush hit Grey’s cheeks. ‘They look at me like that?’

  ‘You’re that oblivious? You’re one of a kind, Grey.’ Hannah laughed, pushed herself up off the ground and dusted her hands off on her shorts. ‘Right, I need to get back to the shop. Jobs to do and all that.’

  She held her hand out to Grey and after a moment’s pause he took it and allowed her to help him up.

  ‘Need help cleaning up?’ Grey was surprised to find he was holding his breath as he waited for Hannah’s answer. ‘We never did go over the last of the festival details. We could do that while I give you a hand?’

  ‘That would be amazing. Thank you.’ Hannah’s smile was shy but warm as she looked up at him from beneath her lashes. A hint of a blush spreading across her cheeks.

  His heart stuttered. Any moisture in his mouth went on hiatus.

  And just like that he had the terrible feeling he was falling for Hannah all over again.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Hannah swiped her handkerchief over the back of her neck then mopped her face. If she didn’t know better she’d have thought the sun was making the picking crew even more grateful for the last day of the season before they opened up to the public by causing them to sweat out every drop of moisture in their bodies and sending them home with sunburn, despite the copious amounts of sunscreen they’d applied.

  ‘Slowing down there, Han? What kind of example are you setting for the rest of us?’

  Hannah replied to Matt’s teasing by sticking out her tongue and crossing her eyes, earning a hearty laugh in return.

  ‘Fair enough
. Looking forward to a cold beer at the end of all this. I’ve heard the end-of-season bash your family puts on is a good time.’

  ‘What’s this about a good time?’ Amethyst sidled up to Matt and bumped her hip against his. ‘And remind me again why I thought helping out in the fields would be fun?’

  Hannah smiled to herself. If she was not mistaken there was a hint of flirtation in the air. Sweeter than the scent of strawberries, and far juicier.

  Looking at Matt and Amethyst, with their sparkling air of attraction, it was hard to imagine that at one point she’d thought Amethyst and Grey could’ve been a thing. Had hoped for it. Now all she felt was relief it hadn’t happened. Out of all the mistakes she’d made in her life, wanting those two together would’ve been the greatest.

  Because where would that have left you?

  She batted away the honest truth that flickered through her mind. Hoping for her and Grey to be anything more than tentative friends was out of the question. He’d shown no interest, and with her departure now two days away, it wouldn’t be right for her to pursue anything more.

  ‘A good time is what people experience when they spend time with me.’ Matt returned Amethyst’s hip bump and added a wink. ‘I can’t believe you’ve deigned to work amongst us mere mortals. And I can’t believe it took you as long as you did to be honest about who you were with me. What did you think I’d do? Call the paparazzi? Try and seduce you?’

  Hannah snorted at the put-out look on Matt’s face. He’d nearly fallen off his seat the previous night over at Grey’s when they’d all been chatting over a drink and Amethyst had decided to take her wig off for the night and reveal her true identity.

  ‘What can I say? This real work keeps me grounded. And I was bored with hiding away at Grey’s. Also, you already were trying to seduce me, in the way that you try and seduce anything that has two legs and a working brain – you’re a terrible flirt.’ Amethyst worked her fingers under the wig and gave her head a scratch. ‘God, I can’t wait to get back to real life, though. As fun as slumming it with you lot has been, this wig is driving me nuts.’

  Matt clutched his chest. ‘I’m heartbroken. You call spending time with me “slumming it”? I’d have thought you’d have called it a refreshing change from dealing with those crazy Hollywood types?’

  ‘If I want a refreshing change from crazy types I’ll head back to Hollywood. Why you people spend hours doing this backbreaking work in the hot sun for peanuts is beyond me.’

  ‘If it means I get to follow the waves and see the world, it works for me. Maybe you could join me and try it? Who knows, you might enjoy yourself?’

  ‘Boss alert.’ Hannah, seeing Grey coming their way, interrupted their banter.

  ‘Hey, Boss.’ Matt saluted Grey, then went back to picking, Amethyst following suit.

  ‘The longer you three gossip, the longer it’ll take to finish your row, the longer you’ll be away from a well-earned refreshment.’ Grey’s tone was stern and didn’t in any way match the twitch of his lips that had a smile threatening.

  ‘Hardly gossiping.’ Hannah rolled her eyes. ‘More like watching these two strut around each other in a human version of a mating dance.’

  ‘Oh, right.’ Grey took a step back. Then another larger one. A most unsubtle escape if ever she did see one. ‘That must be enjoyable for you. I’ll leave you to it.’

  Hannah grinned. ‘Opposite, actually. I’d sooner see my parents flirt.’

  Since that day in the buttercup patch her interactions with Grey had been… better. They’d been getting along, even hanging out – like last night – which had been at Amethyst’s insistence. Then it was like Grey would catch himself being nice, friendly, even kind, then would back off, or physically back away as he had just now.

  Despite their coming to terms with their shared past, he was still holding back, and some misguided part of her, that missed their old connection, was determined to smooth things over once and for all, to ensure that her visits in the future would be easier, less tense, welcoming even, on both sides.

  ‘There’s nothing wrong with a little friendly flirtation.’ Matt twisted around and wagged his finger at them. ‘You two ought to try it some time.’

  Grey’s cheeks brightened, the colour spreading over his face and down his neck. ‘Er, well, that’s my cue to leave. I’ve got to pull out the trestle tables and chairs since it looks like everyone’s nearly done for the day.’

  ‘I’ll help. I’m done here.’ Hannah grabbed her trolley and made her way to stand by Grey before he could stop her or come up with an excuse to be elsewhere. ‘I’ll just take these to the packing shed and then I’ll meet you in the back garden. I assume the feast’s still held there by the way Gran’s been pruning and weeding and draping fairy lights through the trees?’

  ‘As always. You know how your father likes change.’ The flicker of a smile reappeared on Grey’s face.

  A hand batted Hannah’s away from the trolley’s handle.

  ‘I’ll take the trolley, Han.’ Amethyst moved the trolley behind her before Hannah could protest. ‘You go with Grey.’

  Seeing the tight quirk of Amethyst’s lips and the overenthusiastic nod, Hannah cast her friend a questioning glance.

  All she got back was a Mona Lisa smile and a ‘hurry up and go’ of hands.

  ‘After you, then.’ Grey indicated she go first, but before long they were walking side-by-side in the kind of silence that could almost be called companionable.

  Something Hannah hoped for but didn’t dare dream of.

  Without a word needing to be said they went to the storage shed, pulled out the first of the tables needed and, completely in sync, walked it to the backyard where the feast would be enjoyed in a few hours’ time.

  Hannah halted as Grey gave her the ‘stop’ nod and set the table they’d been carrying down in its place. Despite the easiness of their silence she’d begun to wonder if Grey’s lack of lip movement had to do with Matt insinuating that the two of them would benefit from some flirtation.

  Better to clear that up than spend the next half hour communicating through mind reading and hand gestures.

  ‘Sorry about Matt back there. All that talk of flirting. I could see it embarrassed you.’

  ‘It didn’t.’ Grey shook his head as he opened out the table legs.

  ‘Your face going red as a tomato told me it did.’

  ‘Count of three?’ Grey’s fingers tightened on the table top’s edges.

  If there was a medal for first place in the Denial event, Grey would’ve won it.

  ‘So, you weren’t embarrassed?’ Hannah pressed as she turned the table in unison with Grey and set it on the ground.

  ‘Nope. Wasn’t.’ A twitch appeared at the top of Grey’s jaw, and Hannah decided it was safer to let the conversation go. If he didn’t want to admit to feeling flustered, then so be it. Though it didn’t stop the curiosity that gnawed at her and had her wondering what was up with Grey and his odd behaviour.

  She began to fold out the chairs and place them around the table. ‘You have to admit that Matt and Amethyst’s flirting is hilarious.’

  ‘You’re not bothered by it?’ Grey caught her eye for a brief second, then went back to opening out and setting up the shade umbrellas in their stands.

  ‘Me? Bothered by Matt and Amethyst flirting? Why would I be?’ Hannah thought back to Grey’s irritation at her initial banter with Matt. Click. ‘Do you think I like Matt, like that?’ She clapped her hand over her mouth to stop a bellow bubbling up and out.

  Grey wobbled the umbrella’s pole to make sure it was stable then turned to face her, his hands falling upon his hips. ‘Well, don’t you? I mean you two got on really well. Well enough that to the casual bystander it might have looked like there was some kind of interest there.’

  Hannah shook her head as tears of laughter turned Grey into a blur. ‘Oh. Oh, Grey. I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you.’ Her shoulders began to shake and she bent over, clut
ching her stomach as the laughter she withheld caused her ab muscles to ache.

  ‘It’s not that funny, you know.’

  His churlish tone sent Hannah over the edge and the laugh that had been caught in her chest spilled out. She collapsed to the ground, the world going black as she closed her eyes and cackled, long and hard.

  The sun beaming down on her disappeared, sending a prickling ripple of goose bumps over her bare skin. She forced her eyes open to see Grey looming over her, his hand held out, his brows arrowed together in a most unimpressed fashion.

  ‘You done yet?’

  She took three calming breaths in and out, then nodded, took his hand and let him pull her into a standing position, then wiped the tears from her cheeks.

  ‘Yes. Done.’ She breathed in and out a few more times until her breathing had returned to its usual steady pace. ‘It’s just… Matt’s a flirt. Through and through. He’d flirt with a tree if there was no one else near. He reminds me of a Kiwi boyfriend I had a few years back.’

  Another shadow passed. This one on Grey’s face.

  He didn’t like hearing about her romantic past? Hannah didn’t blame him. She had no desire to hear about any of the girls he’d dated after she left. It wasn’t her business, and more than that – if she was being honest with herself – the idea of someone spending time with Grey, loving Grey like she had, made her uncomfortable. Perhaps even a tad jealous.

  ‘Short relationship. Didn’t last long. Ships in the night and all that.’ She waved her ex away and decided to steer the conversation back to the here and now. ‘Matt’s just a friend. Sooo not my type. Too flighty.’

  ‘So he’s Amethyst’s type, then?’

  ‘Is this my turn to ask you if you’re jealous because you fancy Amethyst?’ Hannah teased. The breath she’d finally evened out caught in her chest as she waited for the answer. Was she afraid Grey was going to say yes? Because her feelings for him were as strong as ever. Because her feelings for Grey had reignited?

  Reignited?

  More like she had a bonfire of want burning in her belly. One that meant she couldn’t bear the thought of her best friend hooking up with her ex-boyfriend.