Hayden’s Haven

by Cohen, Julie K.

  “I have to get to the lab, Hayden.”

  “You make your own hours.”

  “But the cultures in my lab, my research, won’t document itself. I have experiments in progress, a timeline to follow.”

  “I’ll walk you back, sunshine.”

  No, he did not just give her a nickname! That was too real, too permanent. Whatever they had between them had to be short term, temporary, nothing more.

  Fortunately, her clothing had dried and she could return to camp in something other than Hayden’s too large clothing. No one needed to know their business, especially when this relationship needed to end, soon, before it spiraled out of control.

  Every time Hayden came near her, her entire body heated up, clamoring for his touch and so much more. Even now, as he walked beside her, his scent filling her lungs, she had the desire to sink her cold hands against his chest and plaster her mouth to his. She envisioned tasting him, sliding down his neck, his chest, and lower until she had him in her mouth, his hands in her hair, and her fingers digging into his very fine ass.

  “I can smell your need, sunshine,” he whispered as they entered the central compound.

  “Oh, God,” she whispered without realizing she had said that out loud. Then he was pulling her off the trail, his hand wrapped around hers as she ran with him, not sure where he was going, but feeling her heart race and her nipples harden from the thrill of knowing what he planned and not caring about the consequences for once in her life.

  The door to Aloe’s house crashed open as Hayden swung her aside. Another loud bang as the door slammed behind her. Hayden pulled Mila’s coat off, flung it aside and pressed her flat against the front door, trapping her with his while he pulled her shirt over her head. His mouth captured hers, and the apex of her thighs throbbed. One muscular leg wedged between her inner thighs, pushing her apart as his jean-clad thigh pressed against her clit. She began grinding against his leg as he yanked the bra down on one side and drew a hard peak into his mouth.

  Her hands scored his back, gaining a hold as she continued to grind against him, the feel of hard muscles pushing her panties and jeans against her folds, providing fabulous friction and waking every nerve in her.

  When she dug her nails into him, he moaned. Even without her wolf, the instinct to claim him as her own was beyond strong. Too many years of being forced to submit, and now she was free of her wolf and free of Vance.

  She ran her hand down the front of Hayden’s jeans, caressing his already hard cock. He growled, and then he shoved her hand away. The sound of a button popping followed by his zipper lowering sailed straight through her to her pussy, sending a flood of liquid into her panties.

  His nostrils flared as his tongue licked a trail down the valley of her breasts. He’d leave his scent, his essence on her everywhere by the time they were done, she was sure of it, and the idea thrilled her.

  Her hand trailed along his ribs, to his ass, to his bare ass. He had already pushed his jeans down. A glance down was enough to see his huge cock, heavy and thick with need.

  “There’s no escaping now,” he said, a determined growl underpinning his words. That growl called to a place deep inside her—not merely lost along with her wolf, but buried by years of pain. His hand slid into her jeans, under her panties, to cup her ass. He forced the jeans and panties down past hips and thighs, exposing her. Then he yanked her close, his hard cock pressed against her pussy and the breath rushed from her lungs.

  “Your pussy is mine to lick, to hold, to fuck. As are your mouth and ass. All of you, Mila. You belong to me and only me.”

  “Yes,” she said without knowing why, only that he spoke the truth. Pitch black eyes held her as he pulled off her boots. They landed with a heavy thud somewhere behind him. Her jeans and panties were ripped clear of her ankles next. His eyes left her as his hands dragged up the back of her legs while he planted his face over her thatch.

  “Open.”

  One word, but she didn’t hesitate. He was in charge now, the feral look in his eyes told her as much, and she was glad her wolf wasn’t here to fight the command. Mila wanted Hayden. More than anything, she wanted this male who made her feel safe, wanted, and strong. Her wolf would fight him, make him work to dominate her. It was another reason to leave her wolf where it was, lost beyond a broken bridge. That virus had been a blessing in disguise.

  His hands opened her folds and his tongue swirled around her clit, as her hands sank into his hair. With his hands gripping her ass, he pulled her against his face until he was pressed against her so tight she could feel his tongue lapping at her juices while his nose rubbed against her clit. He shook his head from side to side, trying to burrow his face deeper.

  The vibration, the sheer wickedness of having this shifter’s face in her pussy, had her pushing up on her toes to give him what he demanded—what she desperately wanted with him, from him, from Hayden and no other.

  With his shoulders, he pushed her legs apart as far as they would go. She was as trapped by the pleasure coursing through her as by her complete need to submit to him.

  He rose abruptly and spun her around to face the door. He placed her hands above her head, against the door as he drew his nose down one arm to the juncture of her neck and shoulder, where he took one long drag of her scent as he clamped onto her pussy with one hand and pressed his hard cock into her butt cheeks.

  “You will not run from me again,” he said, his voice low, sure, and as unyielding as his hand and cock that held her.

  She was his to control, to use, to submit to the alpha, but not as she had submitted in the past. Hayden would give as much as he took, perhaps more, if she could find the strength needed to let him.

  He shoved two fingers into her pussy, making her jump at the suddenness. A shiver went down her spine as her body accepted him. She could pull away, tell him to leave her alone, that she didn’t want this with him, but that would be a lie, another in an overflowing bucket of lies.

  His lips brushed the top of her ear. “Tell me you’re mine.”

  He wanted a promise from her, one she desperately wanted to give. She pushed her ass back against him, which only wedged his cock in deeper into her cheeks, making her need to have him in her even back there nearly overwhelming. Her hips moved again, wiggling against him, demanding he engage, fill her pussy or her backside with more than his fingers.

  Those two thick fingers curled inside of her as his entire hand squeeze and held her pussy. He was demanding her submission now, and she wanted to submit to him in every way, but she couldn’t.

  “Say it,” he growled, as he nipped her ear lobe. A sharp tooth grazed the skin behind her ear. God, he was strong, able to partially shift and hold it, enough to show off his wolf, his power, prove his dominance, prove to her that he could protect her, that above all else she belonged to him.

  “You can’t keep me here—” she almost called him ‘alpha’, because he was every bit an alpha, demanding more than her body’s complete submission, demanding her loyalty. He wanted her to give of herself, to give everything that she was to him.

  She wiggled forward and backward, simultaneously grinding her ass along his cock while trying to remove his hand from her pussy. It was the perfect yin and yang of sex with a shifter, the need to take control while surrendering, denying sex while teasing him. Her heart tightened with need even as she pushed away the possibility of a future with him. She needed to say no or she’d never escape him, but saying that tiny word was hard as every part of her being wanted, needed, to submit.

  A second later, he threw her face forward over the back of the sofa, forcing her hands down against the seat cushions. Before her brain could register what he was doing, he slid into her pussy with one powerful thrust. He locked his hand against the base of her neck, holding her as he pumped into her hard and fast.

  The scrape of the sofa legs against the floor joined the sound of his cock pounding into her, along with several grunts. Her arms strained on either si
de of her head, digging into the seat cushions for leverage. Each stroke was more powerful than the last. Whatever words he growled behind her failed to make sense, as her body fought to keep up with him. Everything in her said to resist, to fight him, to kick him, but her legs were as trapped as her neck and back, and it felt so damn good.

  Her body betrayed her, giving in to him all too easily as her walls tightened around him. She screamed out as the orgasm struck.

  “Fuck yes,” he said as he thrust faster through her orgasm, exciting her flesh too fast for her to handle.

  Too many sensations all at once crashed down on her. Stars in front of her eyes, the sound of his balls slapping against her ass, and the feel of him pounding her as every muscle in her tightened. Her body had submitted, letting the fire race through her blood at last, even as he continued to claim her.

  One last powerful thrust and he draped his body over her back as his seed spilled into her. His hand remained on her neck, holding her longer than necessary, maintaining control over her, but not hurting her. Not choking, pinching, hitting, or pulling her hair out. A simple hold that demonstrated power without pain, strength without shaming her. At that moment, with his thumb caressing her neck as his hand held her, she felt protected and wanted.

  Hayden released her neck. His large hand, fully splayed, gently caressed its way down her back.

  She had never felt such warmth, such gentleness and love.

  Then his cock slid free and his hands drew away.

  She held back the whimper, the sudden emptiness and the sorrow that came with the loss of no longer having him inside her, holding her, having his body wrapped over hers.

  Strong hands turned her to face him as she straightened her back. A single finger traced along her jaw and down her neck to between her breasts. “Tell me you’re mine,” he repeated without the intensity of earlier but with as much heart and determination.

  She couldn’t do that to him. She was broken, in so many ways. Mila shook her head.

  Hayden’s face hardened. Filled with the anger of being denied that she would not accept his claim, the wolf raged inside the man. Black eyes seared her with such intensity that she froze. Too many memories rushed back all at once.

  The blond shifter who took such pride in protecting the pack took equal pride and joy in punishing her. ‘Look at another and I’ll claw your eyes out. Touch another, and I’ll bite off your fingers, one by one. Talk to another without my permission and I’ll cut out your tongue.’

  “Mila?” Hayden’s voice cracked. His breath was ragged, but it was Hayden’s sweet voice that reached her ears, caressed her soul, soothed the pain of the past, and gave her hope for the future.

  Calloused hands gently cupped her face, stroked her cheek as he called her name again. She couldn’t talk, not yet. Her feet moved her forward before her brain could figure out a plan of what to do, where to go, how fast she could run. His sweat, musky and highly arousing, added to that underlying clean, fresh scent of his, creating a heady mixture.

  She wavered, trying to lose herself in him before she drowned in the black depths of her memories. His arms steadied her as she sank against his chest. She should have said yes. She should have given all of herself to him. If Hayden would simply hold her for a minute, let her take in his scent and focus on the present, she’d be fine.

  Blond hair dipped into his eyes as he delivered another blow to her face. A kick to her ribs with steel-toed boots. Why did an enforcer need steel-toed boots? He was careful to step on her left hand next, not her right, so she could cook for him later. She had caused this punishment, by being weak. She had prevented him from ever knowing the benefits of the blood-bond.

  “Talk to me, Mila, please.” Hayden’s voice pierced the fog, and she found herself pulling away from him, slowly adjusting her bra. She looked down to her jeans on the floor, mere steps away. With a shaky hand, she reached down and grabbed her panties and pants. She nearly fell over as she stepped into the pant legs, but strong hands steadied her. He stopped talking to her, which was a shame. His voice calmed her. She wished she could tell him that, but she couldn’t talk yet. Shaky hands fumbled with the button until she finally gave up and only closed the zipper.

  He threw her clothing into the fire, an attempt to humiliate her. If she dared leave without permission again, she’d do so naked, and then he’d drag her back by her hair, again. Maybe hold her hand in the fire as he threatened.

  “My sweater. Where did it go?”

  Ah, there, her voice had returned. Her thoughts remained jumbled, however, as her sweet shifter handed the white cashmere sweater to her. She had always loved how the top fit her, how it set off her eyes, how it felt against her skin. Except now it reminded her of Vance’s fur, of how he often ordered her to wear this sweater. The same white as his fur. . . Why hadn’t she seen that before? Yet the sweater was the same color as Hayden’s, too.

  White wolves.

  When she failed to move, Hayden took the sweater out of her hands and eased it over her head. He lifted her arms, pushed them through the armholes, and pulled the warm cashmere down over breasts, ribs, stomach. Him dressing her was odd, though sweet. Black eyes—so like Vance’s—but so full of need and worry for her, caught her.

  She owed him an explanation, so he would understand none of this was his doing.

  “There’s a wolf in my pack. . .” The rest of the words lodged in her throat like a lump of cement. If she told Hayden, he’d see how weak she was, but it wouldn’t end there. He’d fight for her. Weak or not, Hayden would fight for her, as he fought that wolf who had attacked her up in Wyoming. This wasn’t his battle to fight. It was hers. “The wolf, he. . ..”

  “You’ll stay here, with Damien’s pack,” Hayden said, his voice firm, commanding.

  He wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “I have to go back.”

  “You’re not going back. Even if you don’t stay here, you’re not going back. I’ll find you another pack if I must, but you’re not returning there.”

  “They need the treatment.”

  “I’ll have someone else administer it to them.”

  “Maybe.” She looked around the house. The infamous Aloe who everyone loved didn’t even know Mila had taken over her house in her absence. Photos filled the mantel, alongside a score of aloe plants. Oh. . . Aloe. Yeah, she never made that connection before.

  Mila smiled for a moment, able to let go of her past briefly. Maybe she could stay with this pack, create new memories. Mila’s finger smoother over a crocheted pillow that had a red heart in the middle with the initial A and Z. Aloe had her personal touches everywhere, like the ones Mila had left behind, but those were simply things. Except for Mila’s diploma on the wall. It was only a piece of paper, but she’d like to retrieve, if possible. Not that she needed proof of all that she had worked for, but sometimes it helped to know she had value—if not in the eyes of her pack then in the form of a piece of paper from a human institution.

  Hayden had value too, but his pack didn’t see it. In that way, they were a lot alike. Maybe this could work between them.

  Hayden took another step forward and gently held her hand against his chest, his thumb drawing small circles on the back of her hand. His heart was beating as fast as her own. Sex with him had been wonderful, exciting, unlike anything she’d ever had before, and yet so very incomplete. Unless and until she told him everything, it would never be more than sex.

  “Tell me what you need, sunshine.”

  “I need. . .” I need you, Hayden. Her eyes slowly rose and found his. Then she shook her head. He needed, deserved better than what she could give him. “I need to get to my lab.”

  Mila darted out of the house, not caring that she had left her coat behind. The lab wasn’t far, and it was the only haven right now, a place where she could lose herself in her work and not have to think about Hayden, about home, about any of it. If she had to choose between Hayden or her pack, she’d choose Hayden in a heartbeat. T
hat meant leaving here, because leaving was the best way of protecting him.

  * * *

  HAYDEN

  Hayden’s wolf was pushing his way to the forefront, trying to force a shift. Controlling his wolf right now was exceedingly hard. Claiming Mila as he had, had sparked primal urges in Hayden and his wolf both, especially the need to protect her. A shifter in her pack had hurt her, and Hayden reminded her of him.

  Or was there more to how she’d withdrawn from Hayden? Had he been too rough with her? Had he hurt her?

  A thousand questions went through his head as he followed Mila toward the main compound. His wolf pushed him to close the gap between them. Twenty feet was too far for his wolf’s peace of mind. With the heavy snow falling again, her scent was being forced to the ground instead of carrying on the wind to him. Right now, smelling her was the only hope he had of calming both himself and his wolf. And yet he didn’t dare move closer.

  Another wolf had hurt her, his mate, leaving her shaking, confused, and afraid of him. Hayden had failed as the shifter who should have protected his younger brother at any cost, found a way to get him away from their psychotic uncle, even if it had meant being lone wolves. He could not let himself fail as a mate, too.

  Hayden had been a coward after the murder of his father and the suspicious death of his mother. He’d feared for his own life, putting himself before Drake instead of protecting him at all costs. Years, he had stood by, watching what Logan was doing to Drake, how he was changing Drake. Hayden did nothing to stop his uncle, not one fucking thing to save his brother.

  Hayden had only regained his courage as a young adult when he finally confronted Logan. He had failed then, too. Oh, he had killed the alpha, but not before Logan had killed Reina. Beautiful Reina, with her golden locks, sky-blue eyes, and innocent smile. A good shifter, an innocent, had died because of Hayden’s weakness.

  Though Hayden escaped to Damien’s pack where he trained with Damien, learned from him, worked harder than everyone else in camp because he wanted their respect, Hayden was the same shifter who had left his pack in disgrace. He’d always be the shifter who abandoned his brother, the shifter who turned against his pack by killing their alpha, the shifter who couldn’t truly fit in with his new pack. The shifters here saw the darkness in his soul. . . darkness he had unintentionally unleashed on Mila. He was no good for her. He would continue to stir those memories that haunted her. She needed lightness and sunshine, not the misery that clung to him like flies to a decaying corpse.