Hayden’s Haven

by Cohen, Julie K.

  “Please, sunshine. I need you to go back, to be safe. To finish the work you started.”

  Her hands shook as she moved his hand from the wound. “I’ll stay and heal you.”

  From what Tess had told Hayden of lack of medical supplies on hand, there was nothing here she could do for him, other than watch him die. Either his wolf would heal him or not.

  “I need to know you’re safe, Mila.”

  Beautiful green eyes clouded with tears. She understood. Now she needed to accept.

  “I love you,” she said.

  “I’m coming home to blood-bond you, Mila.” It was a dream he had been striving for ever since he met her, and if he lived, he’d make it happen. For now, though, he wanted to believe she was in his future.

  “I’m going to hold you to that, Hayden. Don’t fail me.” And then she was gone, pulled away from him before he could touch her face one last time.

  Hayden didn’t have to fight anymore, but he forced his eyes open to watch Callen lead her away. She was crying. She didn’t expect him to survive. Maybe she was right. There was no more pain now. In fact, he couldn’t feel much of anything.

  His wolf had gone silent.

  Drake leaned over him again.

  “I tried to save Reina,” Hayden forced the words out with what remaining strength he had. “I tried to save her for you.” Hayden’s eyes closed, his lids too heavy to keep open. He was so tired. Mila was safe. He could rest now. His sunshine was safe.

  “I know, brother,” came the whisper in Hayden’s ear as the cold slowly overtook him. “I’ve always known.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  MILA

  Mila hated being called into Damien’s office. He never had good news, well, except for two weeks ago when he had told her that Hayden had been spotted alive and well at Liam’s pack mere hours before the DSA’s deadline. As the story got handed down from Liam to Blade, who ran messages back and forth, to Damien, a group of ten shifters from Drake’s pack had arrived.

  Hayden had done all the talking, handing over all the research and remaining stockpile of HEV—and Chitman—to Agent Sloan. Despite doing everything the DSA had requested, words were still exchanged, but an uneasy truce had been reached. Damien was waiting for Liam to meet with him soon to go over the details, but Liam had said it wasn’t a good time. There were problems in his pack. No further explanation had been given. The DSA was gone and that was all Liam had to say on the subject for the time being.

  “Come in, Mila,” Damien said when she knocked on his door. The last time she had been here, he had told her Hayden would be staying with Drake for a while. No definition of what a ‘while’ constituted or why he was staying there, or even if it was by choice, though she suspected it was.

  Callen had gone down to check on Hayden, to confirm he wasn’t being held prisoner as Mila had feared. Hayden appeared to be working at Drake’s side, as his second. The news hadn’t surprised Damien, but even Damien seemed dejected. As for Mila, she had been crushed by the news. Hayden wasn’t coming back. He was mending his relationship with his brother. That had always been at the heart of Hayden’s own personal hell, and now he had a way of making amends, fixing his past and regaining some of what he had lost all those years ago.

  “The vaccinations are complete,” Mila said. Anna had finished her tests for Mila in her absence. Soon after Mila had returned, they had made the breakthrough. They had a live vaccine that worked against the SEV-2 virus. If only she could share her joy with Hayden. That wasn’t meant to be. Hayden was gone, focused on repairing his relationship with his brother or maybe he was still searching for something else he didn’t think she could give him.

  She had turned him down. She had said no to the blood-bond.

  Mila worked hard during the day, running tests and ensuring the vaccine was safe, only to go home at night and cry herself to sleep. Aloe had yet to return, but Mila couldn’t stay there any longer. Aloe’s house felt too big for just her, and Mila liked being in Hayden’s cabin. It was smaller, quaint, and still held his scent. Which made her cry more, but she couldn’t let go. She didn’t want to let go.

  “I’d like to complete a few more tests before we send it out to the other packs,” Mila added as he waved her to sit. She didn’t want to sit. Sitting meant a long conversation. Bad News.

  “Truman contacted me again. Said he’d even build you a lab if you returned.”

  “As if that was the reason I left,” she scoffed.

  She was glad Damien had arrived in time to save Truman from Vance, and that Vance was dead, but that didn’t mean she ever wanted to go back to that prison. There were too many bad memories there.

  Here, she had friends and mostly good memories. Her wolf whined as she had been doing for the past three weeks since they’d left Hayden on the ground, dying.

  “Hayden’s not coming back, is he?” she asked.

  “I don’t know.” Damien felt the loss of Hayden almost as much as Mila. He wouldn’t lie about this. “I think he needs this.”

  Damien was right. Hayden needed to return his home, his birth pack, more than he needed her.

  “He’ll come for you,” Damien said, sounding so sure of himself. Well, Damien often sounded sure of himself. That was part of being an alpha. Anything less would make him appear weak, and that was one thing Damien wasn’t.

  Mila appreciated that he tried to make her feel better, but nothing would do that, except Hayden, and he wasn’t coming for her. He was battling the demons of his past, figuring out his place in life, and that didn’t include her.

  “We both know he won’t,” Mila said as she rose to leave. “And even if he does, it doesn’t change the problem we’ve had all along. I’m a weak shifter.”

  Damien chuckled. “When Hayden told me that, and I suggested perhaps you two should simply mate and forgo the blood-bond, he got really mad at me.”

  “He was mad at a lot of things.”

  “Not like this, Mila. He needs you. That’s why he’ll come for you.”

  “Need and want are two different things.”

  Damien smiled. “Not always.”

  * * *

  HAYDEN

  Drake had a shitload of problems to unravel, and he lacked the patience and skills required to get his pack in order. After handing Chitman and the stockpile of HEV over to the DSA, Hayden had had to make a choice. Return to Damien’s pack or remain and help Drake. Damien didn’t need Hayden, not like Drake did. While Hayden no longer had the overwhelming need to save Drake from the world, the chance to reconcile was something he couldn’t say no to.

  He missed his Mila. Living with a pack that had so many issues to resolve was daunting, but he was glad she wasn’t with him in such an unstable environment. Each and every day he thought of her. He hated staying away from her, but she was where she belonged, in a pack that was well-adjusted and protective of its own. The shifters of Damien’s pack had accepted her quickly and fully. She was one of them, had been since the day she arrived. Hayden wondered if she had taken the oath to Damien that would officially make her part of the pack.

  Hayden had spoken briefly to Callen three days ago when he delivered a shipment of the vaccine. A working vaccine! His Mila had done it! He was so proud of her, and even Drake was impressed, though he managed to give himself the credit for having the foresight to release Mila instead of killing her. His brother was so broken, and Hayden didn’t know what to do about him. Except help him heal the pack.

  That’s where life got dicey. There was only so much Hayden could do with Drake’s pack in such a short period of time. The pack had been falling apart for a long time due to a myriad of issues. The SEV-2 virus had taken its toll, killing off several dozen shifters, and left others without their abilities. The latter would be easily rectified with Anna’s treatment. Hayden had already sent a formal request for Damien to send a shifter with the medicine to treat the affected shifters.

  The harder problem to resolve, the one that would
take time, was that Drake had turned a blind eye to the festering wounds in his pack, starting with his own. These shifters had been mismanaged, abused, belittled, not just by pack leadership, but by each other. There was little if any respect here, let alone a true sense of what it meant to be part of a pack. The downward spiral of this pack had started long before Drake even became alpha.

  Change needed to start at the top, with the alpha. Drake still had a lot to atone for, but he wasn’t looking to atone. Drake, as always, wanted results and he only knew how to push. This latest betrayal by Chitman had made him realize loyalty to him was fleeting, and that scared Drake. Drake didn’t scare easily, considering who had raised him.

  Hayden was scared though, not for Drake, but for himself. In the three weeks since he had seen Mila, and none of the messengers Damien sent had mentioned her, other than to say she was doing well. She hadn’t sent a letter with Callen, or even a question of when he was returning. He had told her he’d return, but she hadn’t asked about him. Had she decided she was better off without him? She had been through hell because of him, which is why he hadn’t gone for her. He needed to help Drake’s pack and he didn’t want her anywhere near this place.

  Drake offered Hayden the position of his second. Hayden was needed here, not like at Damien’s pack. These shifters were suffering on so many levels, and he could make a difference. Serving as second to Drake though? Swearing an oath to an alpha that was his blood brother but whom he did not respect? He couldn’t do it, but neither could he Drake or the shifters who had suffered here. And there were good shifters here along with the bad. The situation—the shifters here—would continue to decline. They could be so much more than they were.

  Hayden pushed himself for the last leg of the trip to Damien’s pack. He didn’t even stop to say ‘hi’ to Frank and Mac who were on patrol as he passed over the border. He missed these shifters and blowing past them with barely a bark was hard enough, but he had waited long enough to see his Mila, to hold her, to look into her beautiful face and ease his soul. His wolf pushed harder than him, and that’s when he realized how alone they’d both been, how incomplete they were without Mila.

  As Hayden ran past the first cabins on his way toward Aloe’s, his heart raced. Three weeks had felt like three months. No, an eternity. No wonder Drake had gone slightly mad all those years ago. He’d lost his soul mate, forever. Not just a mere separation. How different Drake had been around her as well. Patient, calm, full of potential and promise.

  The very thought of losing Mila terrified Hayden. Whatever it took to keep her safe and happy. . . That was his responsibility now, one he gladly accepted.

  When he knocked on Aloe’s door, no one answered. He entered, but the place was dark and cold. Empty, void of Aloe and Mila’s scents. Aloe was probably still at Liam’s pack, visiting her sister. But Mila. . . the place didn’t smell of her at all, as if she had been gone from here for some time.

  Hayden grabbed a set of clothing from the cubby by the door and dressed. As he neared Damien’s house, he spotted Lars, who stopped dead in his tracks and looked around. There were no other shifters nearby. No one to come to Lars’s rescue.

  The pack still didn’t trust Hayden.

  “Hi, Hayden.”

  Hayden could smell Lars’s fear.

  “Welcome back.”

  Lars was welcoming him back? Hayden was the shifter who had nearly gutted him over Mila. “Ah, thanks. Where is everyone?”

  “Mock Running of the Moon. I’m here to repair Damien’s generator. We’re going to need a new one soon. The thing is on its last leg.”

  That was probably the most Lars had ever said to Hayden in the eight years he had been with Damien’s pack. “Need any help?” What possessed him to say that, when all he wanted to do was to see Mila, was beyond him, but he meant it. Lars wasn’t a bad shifter. They’d just never gotten to know one another.

  “Thanks, but I’m good. I think your girl’s down at the lake with Anna, helping organize the kids.”

  “Thanks, Lars,” Hayden said and headed toward the lake.

  It was already the Spring Equinox. Twice a year, the pack held a Mock Running of the Moon for the kids who hadn’t shifted yet. They conducted the Run during the height of the day, despite the run’s name. In the weeks leading up to the run, the kids entered various competitions to determine which kids would lead the run. Everything from races to who braided hair the best. Hayden still wasn’t sure how that last one had been pushed through as an official event, but he had a feeling it was Tess’s doing. No matter. It had gone over really well with the girls and even the dads.

  Hayden found himself intensely curious as to who the kids had chosen as their mock alpha and his or her second this year. On the day of the big run, those two kids led the run. If Hayden had to bet, he would guess Charlotte and Evan. The ten-year-old girl was younger than most, but boy did she know how to push the others around. She definitely had the making of an alpha. On the other hand, Peter at twelve was rather sneaky and had a way of showing up the other kids in school without getting anyone mad at him. He was a regular charmer with that smile of his.

  As Hayden reached the lake, he was amazed at how many shifters were standing about, waiting for the run to start. He smiled, glad he hadn’t missed it. Even the babies and toddlers participated, being carried by older teens or parents. Everyone, except border patrols, showed up to watch. That explained why Frank and Mac were on duty when he had crossed over. Those two usually took night patrols, but the single shifters took over for the guards with kids, so the dads could watch their children run.

  There at the front, leading the kids as their alpha and second for the day. Charlotte and Aaron. Okay, that was unexpected. Aaron was on the quiet side, never said much to anyone. Then again, being second wasn’t a popularity contest. Hayden knew that better than anyone. Aaron must have proven himself in the games. Good for him.

  “Hey, Hayden! Welcome back!”

  He turned to see Abbie waving at him. Hell, he hadn’t really talked to her in months, since he had put their date on hold while he went up to Wyoming with Callen. Then he had been seeing Mila, not that he had planned any of that.

  Abbie wasn’t alone. Benji came up behind her. The shifter’s face was neutral, but he gave a respectful nod to Hayden. That was different. Hayden nodded back.

  “Mila’s down near the rocks,” Abbie said, with a sweet smile. She wasn’t mad at him. That was good.

  “Thanks,” Hayden said as he worked his way through the crowd. There were a few other ‘welcome backs’ and other cheery greetings, all of which had his wolf on edge. His pack was talking to him.

  The scent of lilac reached Hayden before he spotted Mila through the crowds. She was sitting atop one of the large boulders, sharing a bowl of popcorn with. . . Hell. Finley.

  The male was whispering in her ear as he reached into the bowl in her lap and grabbed a handful of popcorn. She was laughing and chatting away as they watched Charlotte and Aaron shout out to the crowd, “Ready, set, go.”

  The kids were off and running, with the parents carrying the infants and toddlers right behind. The rest of the pack cheered them on. A lot of cheering, a few howls, and a lot of laughter.

  This was a healthy pack. The place to raise a family.

  The crowd thinned considerably, leaving very few shifters between Hayden and Mila. The wind shifted. She stopped laughing and suddenly turned her head toward Hayden. Bright green eyes met his and then widened.

  “I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Hayden said as he shifted and bounded away. It was a coward’s move, and he knew it. In all the times he had envisioned his reunion with Mila to go, he had never fathomed he would find her with another shifter. He hadn’t even considered she might move on.

  It had only been three weeks, but he hadn’t done as he had promised. He hadn’t come back, he hadn’t sent her a note, nothing. All the chances he had had to communicate with her, it hadn’t occurred to him that he should.
She had said she loved him, and he had promised to blood-bond her.

  He hadn’t been there for her when she needed him. He hadn’t helped her through any trauma or even been there to celebrate her big accomplishment with the vaccine. He had assumed his pack would take care of her, and they had, but that didn’t mean he shouldn’t have been there for her.

  Hayden charged into the woods. His thoughts were racing in a million directions and he couldn’t focus. Had he lost her? Should he warn Finley away from her? Was she happier with him? What if she was happier with Finley? The shifter was certainly safer than Hayden had been. He worked maintenance. The biggest risk Finley had was dropping something heavy on his foot. He didn’t have Drake for a brother. He hadn’t left her to stay and help that brother and a pack that most here thought needed to be put down.

  Damien could help him figure this out. Except Damien was another issue. He had sworn an oath to Damien, and Hayden was about to break that oath. Oh, God, he hadn’t thought any of this through. He couldn’t bring Mila back with him, to a pack that was fractured and full of danger. No, she needed to stay here. It had to be her choice. Had she already chosen Finley? Fuck.

  Hayden sank to the ground, with his head on his knees. Sick, he felt sick. He couldn’t lose her, he couldn’t, but it wasn’t his choice. It was Mila’s, and it looked like she had already chosen.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  MILA

  The second she scented Hayden, her heart had practically stopped. All sounds, sights, everything around her had ceased to exist. Hayden’s glorious scent became her world, overshadowing everything else. At first, she thought she had imagined that scent of his that reminded her of spring water. Oh, how she missed him.

  Days had been hard enough, but she had friends and work to keep her busy, with the occasional day off like today where she had something full of joy to distract her. The kids were all so cute, and she and Finley had been betting on which kid would win the position of alpha and second.