by Jack Parker
"Help," was the most that Robin could squeak out. His foot scrambled against the rocky slope and between them they managed to get him back to firm ground, panting with fear and terrified of what could have happened. He peered down over the ledge to the slope stretching down to a road somewhere below and swore profusely
"What the hell happened?" Kim demanded again, "why weren't you looking where you were going?"
Robin gave her a slightly wounded look. He didn't need a telling off, he already felt stupid enough and he'd had the most horrible shock.
"Kim, I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't know that rock was going to slip away, I didn't realise there was a slope there, I just thought it was another dip in the ground." He flinched a little as he rubbed his ankle. "Fuck, the stupid thing."
"Are you hurt?" Kim asked, her voice more anxious than Robin was expecting. He rubbed his ankle some more and slowly flexed it.
"I don't think it's too bad," he said, "ow…"
Kim rolled her eyes.
"For God's sake," she sighed. She got to her feet and held out her hand. "Get up. I'll take you back."
Robin slowly allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. He could hobble along but his ankle wasn't the happiest it had ever been.
"Ow… ow…" he mumbled with every step.
"I'll have to drive you back," Kim told him.
Robin looked at her a little horrified.
"What?"
"Well you can't drive with that ankle," she told him.
"You're not driving my car," Robin told her.
"Oh, who do you think you are – Gene Hunt?"
"No," Robin sighed and closed his eyes, "Kim, the last time someone drove my car…" he sighed, "it was Alex."
Kim glanced at him as his expression became sad. His mind went back to the car crash, the whole strange event.
"Sorry," she said quietly.
She helped him to hobble back to the main bulk of the operation, explained the situation to a less than happy Fullerton and wrestled the keys from Robin.
"I've told you, you're not driving" she said.
Robin hobbled dejectedly into the car.
"Fine," he mumbled, "well, you're not… not…" not what? "Not… getting any pizza."
"Fine by me," said Kim, "Linda's put me on a diet anyway."
Robin looked at her, slightly alarmed.
"A diet?" he repeated, "why?"
Kim looked down. Her expression was a little upset.
"She said I'd been putting on too much weight recently," she said quietly.
"Oh, that's bull," said Robin.
"I have though," Kim said quietly.
"Yeah, and you could have done with it," said Robin, "you've always been a bit underweight. You look healthy. You look good."
The smile that Kim flashed him did things to him that he was going to have trouble hiding in the car. He quickly grabbed the map from the dashboard and pulled it onto his lap, putting on his best 'I will give you directions' face.
Kim pulled away from the scene and joined the main road. She drove along in silence for a few minutes before she turned to Robin and said,
"I was a bit. Underweight. Never really found time to eat."
"So I remember," said Robin, "all I found in your cupboard when we were hiding out at yours were tins of cabbage soup. Alex almost threw up at the thought of those."
Kim smiled at the memory of her unexpected houseguests.
"Well, if I'd known I would have a bloody cookery expert staying I'd have stocked up!" she said.
They fell silent for a while as Robin stared out of the window. He had so much on his mind that he didn't feel like he could even breathe properly. Eventually he noticed Kim giving him a curious look.
"Rob? What's the matter?" she asked.
Robin glanced at her. He was sure his expression was less than joyful.
"Sorry," he said, "just thinking."
"Is your ankle hurting?" she asked.
Robin glanced down.
"Not too badly," he said.
Kim turned to him as they stopped at traffic lights.
"So what's the matter?" she asked.
Robin sighed. He stared ahead of him.
"Not a very happy day for me," he said, "Not any more"
"What do you mean?" frowned Kim, "we're… we're OK again now, right?"
She knew that wad only half true. They were skirting around the issues and they both knew it.
"It's not that," Robin said, "today should have been our anniversary. Mine and Simon's." he sighed and closed his eyes. "Last year Simon spent our anniversary in a coma. This year… this year he's gone."
Kim felt her heart aching for him.
"God, Rob," she said quietly, "I'm sorry, I had no idea."
"You know what the worst thing is?" Robin looked at her guiltily, "I didn't even realise at first. Not until I saw the date up in the office. I feel like the worst boyfriend in the world.
"Oh Rob, you're not," sighed Kim, "people lose track of the date. You've had a lot going on lately."
Robin bit his lip and glanced at her.
"Yeah," he said quietly, "we have."
Kim looked away guiltily and pulled away as the lights turned green. She became terribly aware of just how close and confined they were within the space of Robin's car. Maybe she should have told him to lay in the back? Rest his ankle? It was too late now. She would just have to carry on and ignore the fact that she could smell the scent of his shampoo, reminding her of how close he lay to her on the barge and the time they spent wrapped in each other's arms before she'd gone running scared.
She blinked and tried to shake herself out of her thoughts. She took a deep breath and glanced at him.
"So what are you doing?" she asked.
Robin panicked that she thought he might be fiddling himself under the map and moved his hands to a more obvious position.
"Nothing!" he cried.
"I mean tonight," said Kim.
Robin frowned.
"Well, nothing," he said.
Kim looked at him sadly.
"You have to do something," she said, "you need to mark it somehow." She saw him shake his head sadly. "Don't you think Simon would want you to?"
Robin shrugged.
"I don't know," he said quietly, "did he?"
Kim looked at him a little sadly.
"I think I was gone by then," she said quietly.
Robin nodded slowly. He didn't really know what to say.
"Kim, I think it's going to be me, the telly and maybe a microwave meal for one," he said.
"A mi – Robin!" she cried, "wash your mouth out, since when have you eaten a ready meal?"
"Not really enjoying cooking for myself," he said, "no fun that way."
Kim looked at him instead of at the road. She should have been focusing on what was ahead but she couldn't. Not while her mind was working overtime. She felt her heart starting to race again and knew that she was heading into dangerous territory, the kind of territory they'd already said they needed to avoid, but she couldn't let him spend the night on his own.
"Alright," she said quietly, "you cook a meal for two."
"I don't like keeping leftovers any more," said Robin, "not since Keats ate my last lot. I'm worried he'll find another way back over and know where to find a decent meal."
"No," sighed Kim, "make a meal for two and I'll eat the other half."
"What about Linda?" Robin asked.
Kim felt herself glowing a little with guilt.
"I think she might be taking the boys out tonight" she lied, "I could do with some company too."
Robin looked at her a little anxiously.
"After what happened the other night I'm not sure that's a very good idea," he said quietly.
Kim's heart dropped a little. She'd expected him to say that.
"Just forget all of that," she said, "I'd be a pretty shitty friend if I left you on your own tonight, with a buggered up ankle and a big dose of misery." She
pulled up outside of Robin's flat. "Expect me at seven," she said.
Robin got awkwardly out of the car. He knew deep down this wasn't a good idea but he really couldn't face the thought of being alone.
"Alright," he said quietly.
"You cook, leave the rest to me," said Kim.
A tiny smile flickered onto Robin's face.
"Alright," he said again.
The smile that Kim gave him was genuine, full of friendship and warmed his heart. She gave him a little wave.
"I'll see you tonight," she said as she pulled away.
"See you later," Robin said with a nod. He watched her go and gave a sigh. The day was turning into the strangest kind he'd ever known. As he began to limp slowly towards the front door he froze. Something wasn't right. He glanced around and stared at the empty parking space.
"Hey!" he cried, "I forgot that was my bloody car!"
Chapter Fifteen
"Why am I doing this all over again?" Robin asked himself as he stared at his reflection, sweeping a brush through his hair. He knew that he was only setting himself up for another disaster. What was it going to be this time, he wondered? What was going to scared Kim away tonight? Maybe he was going to get an erection so hard that it would bust his trousers. Maybe Kim would imagine dancing penises every time she looked at him. He sighed and shook his head. What the hell were they playing at? They'd talked this over, both knew they couldn't go through with anything physical, and yet they kept finding themselves back in the same situation, time and again.
The buzzer rang which made him jump out of his skin. At least she was actually ringing the buzzer this time. Hopefully this time he would find her without a long trail of tears down her face too. He walked quickly to the phone in the hall.
"Hello?"
"It's me, Rob," Kim sounded bright and cheerful, "Let me in!"
Robin pressed the button to open the front door then waited. He shuffled nervously on the spot as he opened the door and waited for her to arrive. She came around the corner with a smile on her face, a far cry from the last time she'd arrived there. She was smiling and she had a bottle in each hand.
"This one's for you," she said, handing him a bottle of brandy, "because it's the only thing I know you'll drink. And this one's for me," she held up champagne in her other hand, "because someone should be drinking champagne on an anniversary, even if it's not one of the people who's supposed to be celebrating!"
Robin smiled a little shyly. Kim looked radiant, her face brimming with a smile he hadn't seen in a while. He took the bottle from her and stared at the champagne.
"I've never had champagne, I might like it."
Kim rolled her eyes.
"Oh now you tell me," she said, "I was looking forward to that!"
"I don't know if I'm going to like it," Robin reminded her, "I might hate it!"
Kim followed him through to the kitchen where myriad wonderful aromas filled the air. She took a deep sniff.
"Mmm… what are we having?" she asked, knowing that whatever the answer was it was going to be good.
"Chicken Chasseur," said Robin.
"What, no first course?" Kim teased.
"The soup is still bearing a grudge from last time," Robin told her. He gave her a smile and leaned against the kitchen work surface. He felt surprisingly nervous that night. "I hope you'll abandon your stupid diet idea for the evening," he said, "you know my new stance on leftovers."
Kim took a seat at the table as Robin began to serve up.
"I'm, uh… sorry about the car," she said, "forgot I was driving yours."
"Yes, well," Robin began, "I did wonder if you were off on a joyride or something." He set out a plate in front of her. "Was everything OK with Linda?"
"What do you mean?"
"She didn't mind you coming?"
Kim looked away a little guiltily. It was a bit hard for Linda to mind when she didn't know. Working late on the Nailer case was the lie she'd used.
"Fine," she said, "she was fine about it." She paused as Robin put his own plate on the table. "I got you a present. Well… I made you a present"
"You did?" Robin frowned. When was the last time someone made him something? "I thought the drinks were my present?"
"This is something different," said Kim, "I'll give it to you after we've eaten."
Robin attempted to pull the cork from the champagne bottle while Kim politely attempted to ignore his feeble attempts. When he'd been working at it for about three minutes she lost patience and sighed, "
"Oh, give it here!"
Robin sheepishly handed it over and watched Kim effortlessly remove the cork from the bottle.
"Sorry," he said, his embarrassment sky high, "I guess there's a reason why I don't drink, hmm?"
"It's not a problem," smiled Kim. She sat the bottle on the table and watched as Robin poured some out for them both. He lifted his glass and said a little awkwardly,
"Are we drinking to anything?"
"To you and Simon, of course," Kim told him. She raised her glass and clinked it with his. "I'm so sorry you can't be with him tonight."
Robin's smile wavered.
"So am I," he said quietly. He took a sip of the champagne which was a bit fizzier than he'd been expecting and sent bubbles up his nose. He coughed and spluttered, then sneezed, to much amusement from Kim who laughed. When he finally composed himself he wiped his watering eyes, blew his nose and said, "that's not half bad, actually."
Kim laughed and lifted her knife and fork.
"Silly boy," she said, "come on, let's get on with it. I haven't eaten all day, the smell of this is driving me crazy."
"Enjoy," smiled Robin as he began to tuck in too.
Their dinner passed quietly for the most part. Both were starving and too busy eating to make conversation. There had been the occasional impression of Robin trying to open the champagne bottle courtesy of Kim which earned her a slap on the hand or a kick on the shin under the table and once or twice Kim had commented about how she wished she had half of Robin's skill at cooking, but aside for that it was a quiet and peaceful time.
Towards the end of the meal Robin topped up their glasses and felt a little light in the head. The champagne was making him feel different to the brandy. Instead of the general fuzzy numbness that the brandy brought the champagne was making him feel light and giggly, he kept smiling for no reason. He thought Kim would commit him for going doolally if he kept doing that.
It made him feel good. Nice. He'd spent far too much time feeling low and depressed lately. It made a change to be feeling that way. As he glanced at Kim though he realised that the feeling wasn't all down to the champagne. There were butterflies in his stomach. He tried to fight them but they were very insistent, flapping around every time he caught a glimpse of her.
He tried to put it all out of his mind. He'd done the right thing, told her to try again with Linda, and he felt good about doing that. So why did he feel so bloody miserable in other ways?
More champagne, he decided. That would put a smile back on his face. He sipped from his glass and looked at Kim who seemed to be having a little bit of physical discomfort. He rolled his eyes.
"If you want to burp just burp." He told her.
Kim had the good grace to blush.
"What?"
"Come on, Kim, this is me, you've done worse than that before."
"Linda says I need to stop burping in front of people," Kim said, looking down, "she says it's not very ladylike."
"What have you ever been ladylike?" teased Robin, but he saw her expression looking downcast. "You're not at a black tie dinner," he reminded her, "it would be like… like if you turned up for dinner and suddenly panicked you were using the wrong fork!" finally he saw her smile a little which she followed by a quiet belch. "That's better," he said, "goodness sake, next thing she'll be telling you to get your tattoos removed."
He got to his feet and took the empty plates to the sink to rinse them off.
&n
bsp; "You're not doing the washing up now are you?" Kim asked.
"No, I'll leave them for later," said Robin, "…not going to leave them for three months this time though."
Kim laughed and stood up. She took her bag in one hand and her champagne in the other.
"Cone on then," she said, Time for your present."
Robin felt a little anxious about the gift. He wasn't sure what Kim could possibly have made him. His mind went back to his school days. Maybe she'd made him a macaroni picture, or something involving bottle tops? He sighed. He didn't think that was very likely.
They walked through to the lounge and sat their glasses on the table. Robin looked at her a little nervously.
"Well?" he asked, rocking a little in anticipation.
Kim pulled a notebook from her bag. It looked like a school exercise book. Maybe she really had made him a macaroni picture, he wondered. She seemed to hesitate as though she was nervous of her gesture suddenly.
"I hope you don't think this is stupid," she said.
"Well I won't know until you tell me what it is," said Robin.
Kim hesitated.
"This afternoon I wrote down everything that I could remember about Simon, after you went home from ninety five," she told him, "I mean, it's not like a comprehensive guide or anything… my memory is hazy of lots of stuff back then…" She looked at his expression. It was so hard to read, split between joy and sadness. "It was the closest thing that I could find to letting you spend your anniversary with Simon. Giving you memories of him that you were never able to share."
With a shaking hand Robin gently took the book from her. She could see the mixed emotions in his face, there was a smile but it was mixed with tears. He slowly opened the book to a random page and read a couple of memories.
'…he got this leather jacket to try to impress Gene but instead everyone took the piss out of him…'
'…And then he made us all come up with a three course menu and cook for each other…'
'…gave them really boring presents for Christmas, a toaster and a kettle I think…'
'…And then after he put the video on anyway I threw his entire Red Dwarf collection out of the window…'
