Deadly Choice

by Jack Parker

"Objection sustained."

  The lawyer sighed.

  "Very well." He turned back to Kim. "Alex Drake woke from a prolonged deep coma on New year's day. Your medical records show that you spent some time in a comatose state following a knife wound to the stomach in two thousand and three. Is that true?"

  Kim bristled. Her stomach churned horribly.

  "Yes," she said tightly.

  "Following your coma and your struggle for survival you changed your name, left your job, ended your relationship and moved." The lawyer looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Do you feel that you were capable of rational decisions at that time?"

  "Objection!"

  "I am trying to establish the witness's understanding of someone being in strong mental health as opposed to someone who may be capable of irrational or illegal decisions."

  "Objection overruled. Ms Stringer, please answer the question."

  Kim swallowed.

  "When you go through a near death experience," her voice wobbled, "you realise how precious life can be. I used that as a chance to make changes in my life."

  "Not all wise ones, it seems," the lawyer commented, "since you have recently reverted to your previous name and rejoined CID."

  Kim felt herself getting angry.

  "I loved my new life but I missed the work I used to do. It was catching Layton that inspired me to go back."

  "You say you loved your new life," the lawyer began, "but I see from your medical records that you used anti-depressants and tranquilisers extensively for several years after your coma."

  "Objection."

  "Sustained."

  "I retract my comment." The Lawyer looked at Kim. "Is it true that, in two thousand and four, your family were so concerned about your mental state that they enquired about sectioning?"

  Kim's mouth fell open and her stomach lurched.

  "How did you know about that?" she breathed, shaking from head to toe.

  "Answer the question, yes or no?"

  "Yes," Kim cried.

  "Could it be possible that feeling an affinity for Alex's situation led you to become too emotionally involved with her determination to escape her godfather's plans to have her sectioned…"

  "No!"

  "…and clouded your judgement about the accused?"

  "No!"

  "Is it true that you see the parallels between what happened with Mister White and his Goddaughter and your family's concern for your own mental health…"

  "Absolutely not!"

  …" and are using this as way to avenge your own situation by laying false blame on Evan?"

  That was the moment Kim's insides decided to purge themselves all over the stand. In a moment of horror and humiliation she couldn't hold back any longer the nausea that she'd been suffering all day and she vomited violently. Gasps of horror and cries of disgust went up from around the courtroom while the judge declared,

  "Court is in recess while the witness takes a break for medical assessment," he paused, "and while I call the cleaners and get a mop and a bucket…"

  * * *

  Robin looked on in confusion and people started pouring out of the court. He frowned and got to his feet.

  "What's going on?" he asked a random person.

  "Witness threw up all over the stand," he said, "and half the jury."

  "What?" Robin looked around urgently, "Kim?" He spotted her through the crowd being led out by the prosecution lawyer, looking frail and pasty. "Kim!"

  He pushed his way through the crowd to reach her, anxious for her wellbeing. No one was more surprised to see him heading through than Kim.

  "Rob?" she glanced around.

  "Kim, what's happened?" he cried, his heart thumping with anxiety.

  "Nothing," Kim looked down.

  "She needs some air," the lawyer said.

  "Kim, I'm worried about you," Robin said urgently, "please, talk to me?"

  "You can't talk while court is in recess," the lawyer told him, "she'll be going back in in a few minutes. She can't talk to the other witnesses.

  "But I'm her –" he froze in horror at what he'd almost said. He'd almost declared himself to be her plus one. He coughed a little and continued, "her friend, I'm worried about her."

  "I'm fine, Rob, it was all getting a bit much for me, that's all," Kim said quietly.

  "But Kim –"

  "You can talk to her afterwards," the lawyer told him, hurrying her away before they could get in trouble for communicating.

  Robin watched her walking away and felt his concern growing. She wasn't right. There was something wrong and he just wanted to look after her. It broke his heart to see her in a state and even more that was the fact that he couldn't even be with her to make sure she was alright.

  It was as he watched her disappear into a side room that he realised something. Not once during his questioning had he corrected the lawyers who referred to him as Mister Thomas. Not once had he said 'It's Shoebury-Thomas'. Not once had he used his full name. A terrible pang of guilt overcame him as he recognised that slip.

  He started to realise he had more to think about than even he realised.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Kim stood in court again having been given the all-clear to continue. She wasn't sure about their methods for deciding whether or not a witness was fit to continue. Checking her blood pressure and making sure her tongue wasn't covered in green spots wasn't exactly a thorough examination. She felt just slightly better and managed to refrain from causing anymore environmental disasters over the jury as the defence lawyer tried to make out that she had a vendetta against Evan because both her and Alex had been in comas. Despite it raising her blood to boiling point she really didn't feel the defence had a very strong case. If that was the best they could do then Evan was, to put it politely, fucked.

  As she was dismissed from the stand she began to panic. She knew Robin would be waiting outside and she wasn't up to a confrontation. She knew she was supposed to hang around until the end of the day but she had to avoid that. There was nowhere to hide at the courts and she had to find a way to escape.

  She had a quiet word with the lawyer for the prosecution.

  "I'm still feeling unwell," she said weakly, "is there any way that I can leave?" she put on a face as though she was about to be sick again and sent the lawyer into a panic, setting about organising special dispensation for dismissing her early. They even saw her out of a side exit so that she could avoid crowds outside gathered to see what was becoming of Shamed Beard Model Evan White. Kim couldn't have cared less about the idiot press, she was just relieved to avoid Robin. she needed some time to think. Just seeing him had thrown her into a tailspin.

  Aside from anything else, there was a part of her that hoped spending time apart would kill her feelings for him. She hoped that by spending time away from him would put them into perspective but instead she had ended up thinking about him all of the time. It only helped to show her how much she felt for him.

  So much for that idea.

  * * *

  Robin frantically dialled her number but again only voicemail responded. This time he had to leave a message, he knew this was probably breaking her rules but he didn't care.

  "Kim," his heart pounded even talking to her voicemail., "It's me. Listen, I know what you said but I'm so worried about you. After today, I'm… I'm scared that something's wrong and you're not telling me. I'm so worried about you, Kim. Please, call me?"

  He felt anxious and sick as he hung up and paced around the flat. All he could see in his mind was Kim's pasty face, looking so unlike the Kim he knew. He couldn't rest, he couldn't relax, and as day turned to night he couldn't sleep. Even a nightcap of brandy did nothing to help and he found himself pacing the floor, desperately hoping for a call or a text or anything.

  "What's the matter with you, Kim?" he whispered to himself as he stared at the ceiling. He lay on the bed, imagining her lying in his arms again. He cursed himself for letting his mind go there but he kn
ew he'd give the earth to feel her warm body pressed against his again.

  * * *

  Kim pulled her knees up to her chest and cried silently in bed as Linda slept soundly beside her. She could hear Robin's anxious voicemail playing over and over in her mind. Just listening to his voice had set her pulse racing. Thinking about his words and the concern he showed for her sent butterflies through her unsettled tummy.

  She turned over, her tears leaving a pool on the pillow. Just a few month earlier life had been so simple and now the complications had been layered on with a trowel. She slowly climbed from bed and tiptoed downstairs with her mobile. She began to dial Robin's number but thought better of it when she saw the time. She didn't want to wake him, and besides - what if she woke Linda? How was she going to explain a three a.m. phone call?

  She sank onto the couch and stared at the blank TV screen for some time. Her life felt like a bloody TV show now. Too strange to be real. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Things were getting too deep now. She knew she had to talk to Robin.

  Tomorrow, she told herself, Tomorrow I'll call him. We'll sort this out together. But she couldn't help worrying what would come of their meeting.

  * * *

  Robin had done no work. He couldn't. His thoughts wouldn't stop going round and round in his head and his worries were choking him, as though they had him by the throat. He couldn't stop thinking about her. His brain basically had three subjects going on inside it: 1. Kim, 2. Worrying about Kim and 3. Thinking about doing unmentionable things to Kim on his desk. The last of the three was by far the most worrying. He hated himself for it. He even found himself thinking about braving her squidgy bits.

  When the phone on his desk rang it made him jump a mile. He lifted the receiver quickly and said,

  "Hello?"

  "Robin?"

  Oh my god. That was the voice he wanted to hear most in the world but also the one he least expected to hear from.

  "Kim?" she sounded distant and quiet, "oh, I am so glad you called."

  "You are?"

  "I've been worried sick," Robin told her a little breathlessly, "didn't you get my message?"

  There was a moment's pause.

  "Yes, I did," Kim whispered.

  She sounded a little tearful and Robin wondered if it had upset her. Maybe he shouldn't have called her.

  "Kim, are you OK?" he asked.

  Kim hesitated.

  "Robin, I really need to see you," she whispered.

  Robin's heart started doing very strange things as he heard those words.

  "You do?" he whispered, "where? When?"

  Kim hesitated.

  "Can…. Can you come over now?" she asked quietlty.

  "Where are you?" Robin asked.

  "I'm at home," said Kim.

  "At home?" he frowned, "I thought you'd be working today?"

  Kim seemed to hesitate awkwardly.

  "Please can you just come?" she asked, "Linda's at work, the boys are at school, there's no one else here."

  Robin's concern started to grow.

  "Of course," he whispered, "I'll be there as soon as I can."

  He hurried out of work, making more excuses. It felt like that was all he ever did these days - snuck out of work and made excuses. The reason behind it usually involved Kim somewhere along the line.

  He wasn't even sure how he made it to her house on one piece. He was shaking with anxiety the whole way. He worried about everything – what she was going to say, what was wrong with her the day before, whether this was going to be the end of them – he drove himself crazy. When he finally got to her house he was io as much of a state as he was after the defence lawyer questioned him the day before.

  The Kim who answered the door wasn't the Kim he was used to seeing. She was pale, scared, seemed like a worried little girl. His concern grew right away as he stepped inside and wished that he knew if it would be alright to hug her.

  "Kim," he breathed, "what's the matter?" he was a whisker away from telling her she looked awful but remembered how well those comments went down with each other the day before.

  Kim quietly led him through to the lounge and sat down on the couch. He sank down beside her and stared into her eyes. They were full of worry and he'd never seen her like this before.

  "I'm sorry, Rob," she whispered, "I'm really sorry."

  "Sorry?" he took a risk and reached for her hand, "for what?"

  Kim took a deep breath.

  "Well, first of all for dragging you away from work," she said.

  Robin gave a tiny smile.

  "Work or Kim," he said, "that's not a hard choice."

  "secondly, for worrying you," she said quietly.

  Robin looked a little more seriously at her.

  "Kim, that's my job," he said, "if I don't worry about you then I'm not a very good friend, am I?"

  Kim swallowed.

  "Is that what you are?" she whispered.

  Robin took a deep breath.

  "I was hoping that might be what you were going to tell me," he whispered.

  Kim bit her lip and stared at Robin. Involuntarily he found himself licking his lips, just the connection between their eyes brought on the desire to share a kiss.

  "Rob, I haven't stopped thinking about you," Kim's words were not easy to say. "I didn't realise before how much…"

  Robin stared anxiously as she trailed off.

  "How much what?" he breathed, but there was something the matter as Kim closed her eyes flinched and seemed to swallow down some sort of violent hiccup. "Kim?" his anxiety began to rise again, "Kim, what's the matter?"

  Kim closed her eyes, took a deep breath and gave a slow nod, as if to say, "I'll be with you in a moment". Robin waited nervously until she opened her eyes, started to breathe normally again and looked at him seriously.

  "I'm sorry," she whispered.

  "Are you still being sick?" Robin asked quietly. She closed her eyes and nodded. It looked like a tear started to roll down her face bit he wasn't sure. "Kim, I'm really worried about you. Something's got to be wrong, this can't be from that pill you took, that was two weeks ago, wasn't it?"

  Kim opened her eyes and stared at Robin. Her hand started to tremble within his.

  "Robin," she whispered, "I don't think it worked."

  Robin hesitated. He stared at her, unsure what she was trying to say.

  "What didn't?" he whispered.

  This time there was definitely a tear.

  "The morning after pill," she whispered.

  Robin stared at her. It took a good few moments for her words to develop meaning. Finally, combined with the line of her tears, it began to sink in. He moved back just a little in shock and a hand rose to his mouth.

  "Shit," he breathed. His eyes didn't break contact with hers once, "w-what happened? I mean…" Robin didn't really know very much about the female anatomy or reproduction, "why… wouldn't it work? How do you know?"

  Kim trembled as she whispered,

  "It's not a hundred percent guaranteed, Rob. And I was sick after I took it… I had to take it again, but I was sick again. And I guess I didn't get enough of it absorbed before…" she did a slight impression of throwing up which she instantly regretted as she almost did the real thing.

  Robin bit his lip.

  "Fuck," he whispered, "...do you know for certain?"

  Kim shook her head.

  "I haven't tested," she whispered.

  "But you think…?"

  Kim looked down.

  "The morning sickness," she whispered, "I always get it bad. I did with both my boys." She closed her eyes as she found herself having to revisit memories she didn't want to think about. "And in the other world… I mean, I didn't even know I was pregnant, but I was really sick. Thought it was bloody hangovers."

  Robin shuffled forward just a little and took her other hand.

  "I thought there was something wrong yesterday," he whispered.

  "Been sick for the last couple of
days" Kim whispered.

  "Couldn't it be a virus?" Robin asked.

  "It could be," Kim said quietly, "but I don't think a virus can give me sore nipples." She noticed the horrified look on Robin's face and regretted mentioning that body part, "Sorry… I'm sorry Rob, forget about the nipples."

  "I wish I could," Robin blanched. He took a deep breath, trying to absorb her words. "Are you… alright?" he asked, "aside from the sickness?"

  Kim swallowed and nodded.

  "It's all familiar territory," she whispered, "I've been here before. My body's gone into repeat mode."

  "You really think you're pregnant?" Robin found himself shaking a little as Kim nodded and tried to bite back tears.

  "I'm sorry," she whispered.

  "Why are you sorry?" Robin found himself drawing closer to her, "we both messed up, Kim, neither of us thought about what we were doing, because neither or us expected it to happen." His head felt like it might explode with the enormity of the situation. "Oh god, Kim... I'm so sorry. I… I didn't think... I mean, I can't father a child… I'm gay…"

  "I had the same reasoning about why I couldn't be pregnant in ninety five," Kim shook her head, "except without the 'man' part, obviously... and I can tell you that doesn't mean a thing."

  Robin closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He couldn't quite take this in.

  "But you say… you don't know for certain, right?"

  "I haven't tested yet," Kim confirmed.

  "Why not?"

  "I haven't been able to get out the house to buy one," Kim said weakly, "when I called you it was the first time I'd left the bathroom since six this morning."

  A horrible feeling of guilt filled Robin's chest. He found himself reaching around her and holding her tightly. It was all that he could do. He knew that this was a situation that neither of them wanted to be in, neither did they know what to do, but he needed her to know that she wasn't alone. He felt wretched and awful for his part in it, but he would be there no matter what happened next.

  "We'll get one," he whispered, "then you test. I'll be here."

  "I'm so scared," Kim whispered. Robin had never heard her like that before. It made him feel as though he wanted to protect her.

  "Me too," he whispered, "but I know how strong you are. We'll get through this."