Loving Violet

by Terri Anne Browning

  Now, I realized none of the past mattered. Not Cannon kissing me. Not Luca cheating.

  It wasn’t meant to be. But this moment? Marrying the man who was my whole heart, even if I wouldn’t get to grow old with him, was exactly what was supposed to happen all along.

  The chapel smelled like sweet flowers when we walked in. A man and a woman were waiting for us when we entered. The woman, a friendly older lady with gray-streaked dark hair, handed me a bouquet of lilac roses. “Your groom picked these for you, dear,” she said kindly. “You look so lovely. He’s a very lucky man.”

  I lifted the flowers to my nose and inhaled deeply, fighting back the sting of tears. “No,” I told her when I lowered the bouquet. “I’m the lucky one.”

  Jagger and Shaw came in behind us, and the man instructed us on how to proceed. Shaw was given a smaller bouquet of roses as well, and then Jagger and Cannon were told to take their seats inside. The couple left us, and Shaw hugged me tight until the music started.

  “I’m so happy for you,” my best friend whispered as she pulled back, her eyes glazed with unshed tears. “You look exquisite. The most beautiful bride I’ve ever set eyes on. And I’m not ashamed to say I’m a little bit jealous of you right now. You’re getting the whole fairy tale, my friend. The amazing man who would move heaven and earth for you. A baby. A life you always dreamed of is right at your fingertips. Until right now, I didn’t think I cared if I ever had any of the things you always said you wanted. Sometimes when you would talk about how you wanted to marry Luca and be his wife and a mother, I would roll my eyes behind your back.” Her chin trembled as she smiled down at me. “But I get it now, Vi. I understand the draw, the need to want to just be loved and let someone love me back.”

  “You can have that too,” I promised her. “You just have to tell him.”

  She glanced over her shoulder at where Jagger had just disappeared. “And if he doesn’t want the same things I do?”

  “Then you have to learn it’s okay to let go,” I told her sympathetically. “Whether it means letting go of the dream, or the man, only you can decide.”

  She clenched her jaw for a moment, but then determination entered her eyes, and she smiled, making her dimples pop. “Let’s get you married, my gorgeous friend.”

  Shaw stepped in front of me and started down the aisle. I held back, needing a moment to gather myself. Now that I was alone, everything felt like it was pressing in on me. The last ten hours had been crazy, and I felt like I was still in shock after everything Remington had told me earlier.

  I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or cry. If I should be happy or heartbroken. For the moment, I had everything I’d ever wanted. A man who loved and cherished me. Made me feel like I was the most important person ever to come into his life. A baby growing inside me whom I already loved more than I’d ever imagined it was possible to love another human being. The life I’d dreamed of really was at my fingertips as Shaw said.

  But for how long?

  Yet…

  Did it matter how long? If it was a day, two weeks, five months, or even a year. At least I got to experience it all. I could say I was loved by the best man I’d ever met. I got to give him a child. I got to hold him and call him mine for his entire life.

  Blinking back tears, I stepped forward just as Remington appeared in front of me. His strong hands cupped my face, and I saw fear in their clear depths. “Did you change your mind?” he whispered.

  “No,” I told him honestly and stepped up on my tiptoes to kiss him. “I was just taking all of this in. It’s not every day a girl marries the man of her dreams.”

  He sucked in a ragged, relieved breath. “When you didn’t follow Shaw, I got scared. I thought that you might have left or…”

  “Stop being scared.” I leaned into him. “I’m not going anywhere. Ever. I’ll be right beside you from this day forward until the very end.”

  “Violet,” he rasped out, tears spilling from those eyes I loved so much.

  “I love you, Remington Sawyer.” I wiped away his tears with my fingertips. “Let’s get married now. Okay?”

  “Whatever you want, my love.”

  Chapter 39

  Violet

  My parents knew about the wedding before we even got back to the hotel afterward. My parents and the entire world in general, it seemed. There was a video of me walking through the hotel lobby in my dress with Shaw beside me streaming all over social media, and my dad was beyond pissed when he called me.

  “How could you not even invite us?” Dad demanded, sounding equal parts hurt and angry. “If you wanted a quick Vegas wedding, I wouldn’t have stopped you, but at least I could have walked my little girl down the aisle, damn it.”

  “I’m sorry—” I tried to say, but he cut me off.

  “Your mom is crying right now because she thinks you’re mad at us. Did we do something to upset you? Is that why you didn’t want us there?”

  “It was spur of the moment,” I tried to explain. “I know you’re upset, but we can have a reception later if it makes you feel better.”

  “It doesn’t make me feel better. We should have been there with you.”

  “Dad,” I groaned. “I said I’m sorry. Please, I’ve got enough to deal with at the moment as it is. Could you just not right now?”

  He went silent for a long moment, and I leaned back against the door to the bathroom where I’d gone when I’d seen his name pop up on my phone.

  “What’s wrong, Violet? Did something happen? Are you okay?”

  I wanted to cry and tell him my world had turned upside down, but instead, I swallowed my tears and tried to smile. “Remington and I have some news to share with you and Mom when we get home. But I don’t want to talk about it over the phone. Maybe we could have dinner one night soon and tell you all about it?”

  “Yeah, sweetheart. We would like that.” He waited a beat before speaking again. “Are you sure you are okay?”

  “I’m great, Daddy. I promise. It’s just been a crazy kind of day.” I blinked back my tears and made sure to keep the smile on my face so he wouldn’t know I was so close to crying. “I really am sorry. I just… I didn’t know how to tell you I wanted something very small and intimate. With how Aunt Layla reacted after the engagement, I wasn’t comfortable with having anyone present.”

  “Wait. I don’t understand, Vi. How did Layla react?”

  As I remembered how hurt I was after she took me aside for that private chat, one of my tears spilled over. “I guess she was upset because she didn’t want to have to tell Luca I was engaged. I know she didn’t mean to make me feel bad, but she did. You and Uncle Jesse were so tense with each other after the breakup, and I didn’t want to put pressure on your relationship again by not inviting them to my wedding.”

  I could almost feel the tension coming from him all of a sudden, but when he spoke, his voice was gentle. “Yeah, I get it, honey. But don’t you worry about them now. Just enjoy your time in Vegas, and Mom and I will see you and Remington when you get home… You are coming straight home, right? Not going country-hopping or whatever again right now?”

  My hand touched my tummy, and I shook my head. “No. At least not anytime soon. I have a few things I need to take care of when we get back. Please tell Mom I’m sorry. And I love you both.”

  “We love you too, Violet. See you soon.”

  I hung up and then splashed water on my face, trying to hide the fact that I’d been crying. Remington had gotten us a villa at the Bellagio for the five of us to stay in all weekend. And since the world was already running the story of our marriage, I wasn’t up to going out for the night to celebrate. Instead, he’d ordered room service for us, and it was being set up in the dining room.

  I’d changed out of my beautiful wedding dress and into yoga pants and a T-shirt once the photographer left after he’d taken a million pictures of us all together. Maybe I could take one of those pictures and frame it
for my parents as an “I’m sorry” present.

  Sighing, I shook my head at my reflection, knowing I couldn’t really make this up to them. But hopefully when I told them they were going to be grandparents, they would forget about the wedding issue.

  A knock on the bathroom door startled me, and I quickly reached for a hand towel to dry my face.

  “Violet?” Shaw called out. “Are you feeling okay?”

  “Be right there.” After making sure my face didn’t show any sign of my tears, I crossed to open the door.

  She stood there in a pair of black leggings and an OtherWorld T-shirt that was two sizes too big for her and fell off one shoulder. She’d pulled her hair up into a messy knot on top of her head, and she looked about as tired as I felt.

  “How did they take it?” she asked, giving me a hug.

  “Mom was crying, and Dad was mad. But I think he’s calmed down a little. For now, at least.” I grimaced and pulled back. “I just hope they take the news of the baby a little better.”

  “I couldn’t begin to guess how Uncle Shane will react to becoming a grandfather. But I know Aunt Harper will be over the moon.” Linking her arm through mine, she guided me out of the bathroom and down the hall to the dining room.

  The smell of the food hit me before we even got there, and my stomach growled loudly. Hearing it caused us both to laugh, and when we entered the dining room, the guys looked up with grins on their faces.

  “What’s so funny?” Jagger asked as he offered Shaw a glass of champagne.

  “Vi has an angry monster in her stomach,” Shaw told him.

  “Don’t call my baby a monster,” I teased her and she snickered.

  “What baby?” Jagger and Cannon asked simultaneously, causing me to gasp.

  I’d told Shaw but not the other two, so they just stood at the table, gaping at me. I hadn’t meant to tell them before my parents, but it just slipped out.

  Remington came up behind me and wrapped one arm around my waist. He splayed his hand across my lower abdomen, and I felt him kiss the back of my head. “Violet found out this morning that we’re pregnant.”

  “Congratulations,” Jagger offered readily, lifting his glass at us. “That’s great news. I’m happy for you two. With Mia and Neveah adding to the family already, I was wondering who would be next. Honestly, I thought my sister would get knocked up again before anyone else, but having another little Violet running around will be perfect.”

  “It could be a boy,” I told him as Remington held out my chair at the table.

  “Aww,” Shaw said as she took her place. “We could dress him in little suits. Just think about it, Vi. Little bow ties and vests.”

  “No way.” Jagger glared at her. “This will be Shane Stevenson’s grandchild. If it’s a boy, he needs an entire rocker wardrobe. And a guitar. I refuse to let you turn that cool kid into some little dork.”

  “You’re a dork,” she threw at him.

  I sat back, watching and laughing at them while Cannon tried to run interference. Remington sat beside me, watching bemusedly. He wasn’t used to having siblings, so every time he saw the others argue like they were, he didn’t know how to react.

  Taking his hand, I rubbed my thumb over the platinum wedding ring I’d placed on it earlier. “What do you want, a girl or a boy?”

  His eyes widened at the question, and he seemed to think about it for a moment. “I-I don’t know,” he murmured. With the others still arguing, they couldn’t even hear us. “My grandfather would have wanted a boy, so I naturally would have hoped for a girl just to piss him off. But if we have a daughter and she looks anything like you, I don’t think the world could handle that much beauty.”

  My heart turned to mush, and I leaned in to kiss him. “You’re too much, you know that?”

  Surprised, he frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “I fall in love with you even more when you say sweet things like that.”

  The frown turned into a grin. “I’ll have to remember that and make you fall a little more every day.”

  Chapter 40

  Violet

  Nevaeh had a really great OB-GYN taking care of her, and I was able to get an appointment a few days after we returned from Vegas. Remington went with me, but he asked me to invite Shaw with us. I loved having my best friend with me, but I’d kind of wanted this appointment to be just the two of us. When I mentioned that, he said he needed me to have someone else at every appointment with us.

  Just in case.

  He didn’t have to explain what he meant by that. I knew, and it broke my heart even more.

  Just in case he wasn’t around for the delivery of our baby.

  Just in case something happened before we brought our child into the world.

  Just in case, so I wouldn’t be alone if he was gone and I went into labor.

  I agreed with him, and I waited until he went for his usual morning run to cry. How could I be so fucking happy and so damn scared all at the same time? How could I be thinking of how joyous it was going to be to hold our sweet, innocent little baby. Love and cuddle him or her and smother them with all my love. While simultaneously so brokenhearted and afraid, it hurt to breathe when I looked at my husband?

  Since he’d confessed his illness to me, I’d been paying more attention. And in just a few short days, I’d learned the signs of when he was having a headache. I knew when they would get intense because his eyes would glaze over with pain. I didn’t understand how I’d missed that for so long, but now that I knew, I couldn’t help how my heart stopped whenever I realized he was hurting.

  “Thanks for inviting me,” Shaw said as the three of us sat in the doctor’s office. I was on the exam table in nothing but a cloth medical gown that opened in the front with a soft sheet over my lap. Remington stood beside me, holding my hand and stroking his thumb over my wedding ring, while Shaw sat in one of the two chairs by the window.

  My husband was distracted today, but when I looked in his eyes, I didn’t see the pain I’d come to recognize. Those clear blue orbs were troubled, telling me he was lost in his own head, but I didn’t know what was on his mind.

  “Actually,” I said with a smile as I tried to focus on my best friend. “We were hoping that you’ll want to come with us to more than just this visit. Maybe even take a few Lamaze classes with me?”

  “Um, sure,” she said, her brows pinching together in surprise. “I’ll come to as many as I can if you want. My schedule is kind of crazy the next few months, though.”

  I turned my hand over in Remington’s and linked our fingers together. He lifted our joined hands to his lips, kissing my fingertips, but still lost in his own world. I swallowed the lump that was trying to clog my throat and looked at Shaw. “We want you to be the baby’s godmother.”

  She gave a happy cry, her hands covering her mouth. “Really?” I nodded, smiling, and she jumped to her feet. She wrapped her arms around both Remington and me, and she started bouncing up and down. “Yes! Of course I will.”

  Releasing Remington, who was laughing and finally focusing on what was going on around him, Shaw put both her hands on my stomach. “You just wait, little bit. I’m going to spoil you so much, your parents are going to go insane. I’ll buy you everything you could ever dream of. All you’ll have to do is say “Auntie Shaw, please,’ and it’s yours. You want a pony? Done. A puppy? Done. An ice cream sundae big enough to swim in? Kid, I’ll help you eat that damn thing.”

  Laughing, I covered her hands. “You’re going to be the best godmother ever.”

  Tears filled her eyes. “You think so?”

  “I know.”

  The doctor came in moments later, and one of the first things she did was let us hear the baby’s heartbeat. I clung to Remington’s hand as the sound filled the room. I was still reeling from it throughout the rest of the appointment and long after we’d left the doctor’s office.

  The three of us went to lunch, an
d then we went shopping. I wanted to make telling my parents about the baby special, so I searched all afternoon for the perfect gifts. Once we finally found what I was looking for, we dropped off Shaw and drove home to get ready for a night at my parents’ house.

  As I walked downstairs before we were supposed to leave, I found Remington by the front door with a man I didn’t recognize. He was dressed in a suit that stretched over his wide chest. He had a neatly trimmed beard and a small scar on his right cheek. The ink on his hands disappeared under his jacket, making me wonder how much of his body was covered in tattoos.

  Remington didn’t smile when he saw me, just held out his hand, beckoning me forward. “Violet, I want you to meet Jenner. He’s going to be your personal protection starting tonight.”

  “What?” I gaped at him, stunned by the news. “Why do I need a bodyguard, Remi?”

  His jaw clenched. “To make me feel better. You go nowhere without him. Not even to Shaw’s.”

  “But why?” I demanded. “There’s no reason for a guard. I’ve never had any issues before.”

  “You’re my wife now, Violet. I haven’t been in the spotlight much in the past, so not many people knew who I was. But you’re Shane Stevenson’s daughter, and the world already knows who you are.” He sighed and cupped my face. “But now the world knows you are my wife. The rocker’s princess became an insanely rich woman, and I’m not willing to wait until the first crazy person tries to do something. They will attempt to get to you, hurt you, use your kind heart to con money from you, or take you from me.”

  “I know how to deal with people,” I tried to protest. “It wouldn’t be the first time I had people—”

  “Violet,” he cut me off sharply. “Please. I can’t focus right now thinking you may be in danger because you made the mistake of marrying me. I need you to do this for me. Promise you won’t leave this house without Jenner.”