Loving Violet

by Terri Anne Browning

  But that wasn’t why I was there.

  This wasn’t about winning her back or making her fall in love with me again. I hadn’t even allowed myself to fantasize about that possible outcome. It wasn’t right, and I wouldn’t let myself become that much of a bastard by dreaming of what could happen now that Remington had died.

  I remembered that first meeting with him like it was yesterday, that shitty albeit fateful Monday back in October. I’d played the worst game of my life the day before, and everyone was furious with me. I’d cost my team the game because I’d been so pissed at the world that I couldn’t see straight, let alone play a decent game. I’d made mistakes left and right and then taken my frustration and anger out on the other team’s offense in ways I was ashamed of.

  My coach, the general manager, and the team’s owner had called me into the owner’s office after practice, and I’d gone in with a chip still on my shoulder. The coach tore me a new asshole, and I’d stood there and taken it because I knew I deserved it. Then the GM and the owner started saying if I pulled that shit again, they were going to trade me so they didn’t have to deal with me and my attitude.

  Still angry, I’d glared at the owner. “Do what you want. I don’t give a fuck anymore.”

  And I didn’t at the time. I didn’t care about anything. Not football or my career. Nothing and no one, not even myself. One stupid mistake had cost me everything I valued, and I was still paying for it. Seeing Violet in that beautiful wedding dress, walking through a hotel in Vegas with her best friend, had been the final nail in my coffin.

  I really had lost her. There was no hope of ever getting her back now, and while I knew it was my own fault, I wanted someone else to blame. Someone else to punish and take my pain out on. So, I’d picked the entire world.

  The years I’d patiently waited, giving her kind heart time to forgive me, had been in vain. I’d thought she would reach out to me one day, even just to tell me to go to hell. Then I could make my move. Tell her how much I’d missed her, how there had been no one in my life because I didn’t want to fuck up again in case I ever got a second chance. Then beg her to love me again. I didn’t think it would be easy, that I could just say a few sweet words and she would love me again. I would have to fight for my second chance and pray she would love me once more, even if it was only half of what she’d felt for me in the past, I’d take it and be thankful.

  But seeing her in that dress had turned all those hopes to dust.

  And then Remington Sawyer walked into my boss’s office and turned everything upside down again.

  The door opened just as the three men in the room were about to verbally tear me apart. I knew who he was the instant I set eyes on him. It was hard to forget the guy I’d seen Violet kissing at Lyric’s wedding. Even back then, I’d been so sure it wouldn’t last and I’d eventually get my second chance. She couldn’t possibly love this guy as much as she’d loved me. A few months and she would see that I was who she was meant to be with, and she’d dump his ass.

  I’d hoped, at least.

  Until she married him.

  As soon as I saw him, I wanted to rip him apart. But for some reason, I kept my cool and stood there waiting for him to rub it in that he had the life I’d always imagined I would live one day with the girl who was supposed to be mine. I told myself that when he started bragging, I’d have a reason to kill him. Until then, I needed to keep my hands to myself.

  “I’ll take it from here, gentlemen,” Remington told the others, his voice firm and full of authority.

  To my surprise, the team’s owner was the first to nod and shake his hand. “Let me know if you need anything else, son.”

  The GM and my coach each shook his hand on their way out, closing the door behind them, tossing a smirk over their shoulders at me.

  I’d sized Remington up. He was a few inches shorter than me but still at least six inches taller than Violet. Even I could admit he was a good-looking guy with an athletic build to him. There was something about him that told me he was a confident sonofabitch. Whether that was because he was a billionaire from all that cash his grandfather left him or because he had the only thing I’d ever truly wanted, I wasn’t sure. But we both knew who the real winner was in the room, and it sure as fuck wasn’t me.

  While I stood there sizing him up, he’d been doing the same to me. After a few tense moments, his blue eyes filled with resignation. “You upset her last night.”

  I didn’t need him to elaborate to know who he was talking about. Thinking of Violet upset made my gut clench. “You’re her husband, now. Aren’t you the one who is supposed to fix shit like that?” I’d snapped at him.

  “Yeah, I am her husband,” he agreed. “And that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

  I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. “By showing up here and, what? Giving me a firm talking-to?”

  “No, dumbass. By making sure you don’t lose the job you worked so hard for.” He thrust his hands into his suit pockets and gave me another once-over. “I watched her pace in front of the TV last night, cursing you and biting her nails to the quick while she worried about what you were doing to yourself.”

  That she still cared enough to yell at me, even though she knew I wouldn’t hear her, eased some of the pressure that had been squeezing my chest since I’d seen her streaming on social media the week before.

  “If you’re jealous because she still cares about me, that’s on you,” I told him with a cocky smirk. “I can’t and won’t help you if you think your wife is still in love with me.”

  He took a step closer to me, but I didn’t get a menacing vibe from him. Instead, his lips lifted in a grim smile. “Actually, dickhead, I’m hoping you will help me. In more ways than one.”

  “Look—” I started, but he cut me off.

  “She loves me,” he said with so much conviction that I wanted to put my fist through his face. “She loves me enough that she married me. Even knowing—” He broke off and clenched his jaw. Inhaling deeply, he slowly released it and started again. “But I know she loves you too. She can deny it to herself and me all she wants, but I know there is a part of her that will never stop loving you. And I’ve accepted that. In fact, I’m really fucking glad for it. Because it will make the coming months a hell of a lot easier for her in the long run.”

  “Dude, you’re not making much sense to me. Good talk and all, but I’m not in the mood to stand around and listen to you tell me how much the girl who is the other half of my soul loves you.” I popped my knuckles, still wanting to smash his face in, but I knew it would only upset Violet.

  “Have a seat, Luca,” he instructed, his voice filling with authority. “We have a lot to discuss before I leave here. And the sooner I can get back to my pregnant wife, the better.”

  My heart shuddered in my chest. “P-pregnant?” I wheezed out, suddenly unable to breathe.

  “Sit,” he commanded, and because I was so lost in my head from all that could have been, I listened.

  And while I was still reeling, imagining how beautiful Violet must be with a growing baby bump, her husband told me he was dying.

  “I’m not going to make it until the baby gets here,” he told me as he dropped heavily into the seat across from mine. “I know I won’t. And Violet…” He closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening them and looking straight at me. “She says she understands, but I don’t think it’s really clicked for her. I’m afraid it won’t until I’m gone, and then she won’t be able to cope. I saw what happened to her mental health after you two broke up. It was from a distance, but I still witnessed it, and I felt her pain. This…will be worse. I won’t be there to help her through it. I can’t heal her heart this time.”

  I just sat there, trying to digest what he was explaining and what he really wanted from me. My heart felt heavy for him, but it was already breaking for Violet. I knew she loved this guy. She wouldn’t have married him if she didn’t. I hat
ed that she’d moved on from me, but I was glad she was happy. That was all I’d ever really wanted for her. To have the happily ever after she deserved.

  And now it was going to be cut short?

  That was really fucking unfair, and all I could think about was hugging Violet and making this better for her. But I couldn’t.

  “She’s not going to want to see me,” I told him honestly. “She hates me.”

  “She might not want to see you, but you will be what she needs. Shaw, her parents, even Emmie, they will try to help her through this, but none of them will be able to. You know just as much as I do that the only person who can help her through my death is you.”

  “I’ll only make her more miserable,” I tried to argue, but he didn’t want to hear it.

  “Listen to me, asshole. If you want to keep your starting position, you’ll do exactly what I’m asking of you.” He scrubbed his hands over his face and got to his feet. “No, I’m not asking. I’m telling you. Take care of Violet and our baby, get her through my death, and help her move on when it’s time, or you’ll be riding the fucking bench for the rest of your career.”

  I jumped to my feet at the threat. “And what the hell are you going to do? Huh? You can’t do shit.”

  “Think not?” He grinned, and yet again, I contemplated breaking his face. “The owner and my grandfather go way back. If I wanted to, I could become part owner of this team with nothing more than a handshake. And I’d do it just so I could control your contract. You won’t ever play for another team, and you’ll sit on the bench for the rest of your career if you don’t help me.”

  “You think I’m going to agree just because you’re going to hold my career over my head?” I laughed at his idiocy. “No, man. I’m not saying yes or no because of that. I’m thinking of Vi. She’s going to be shattered if you die. I don’t want to make that worse for her.”

  “Trust me to know what she needs. You don’t even know her anymore. She’s changed a lot over the years.” He pulled something from his jacket pocket and laid it on the table separating us. “This is my card. Program my number into your phone. I’ll update you regularly on Violet’s pregnancy and my own health. Should something change suddenly and I can’t contact you, her bodyguard, Jenner, will be in touch.”

  I stood there, speechless, as he walked out. Stupefied, I’d done as instructed and put his information in my phone, but the next call I got wasn’t from Remington.

  It was Aunt Emmie.

  I readily agreed when she told me what she needed me to do to help Violet fix the rift between our parents. Seeing Vi had been the best Christmas present I’d gotten in years, and kicking Cannon’s ass had been a close second. But when I should have told her about her husband’s plan, I’d kept my mouth shut.

  After the way she’d reacted when I hugged her, I knew he was right. I could feel how she was falling apart when she trembled against me. Could almost hear her silent plea to just hold her and make it all better, even as she was pulling back and smiling so bravely up at me.

  Which was the only reason I’d gotten on board with Remington’s plan. He would send me weekly updates. If Violet had a doctor’s appointment, he would tell me about what happened. He told me all the books he would read to the baby and how active the little love bug, as Violet had come to call the baby, was when she liked one. I learned everything about Violet and her baby through her husband, and I felt like a voyeur because of it.

  When he started having more and more issues with the rapidly growing tumor, we both realized his time was running out faster than even Remington expected. And while I was anxious for him, he didn’t seem worried about it at all. He’d accepted his fate, was savoring every day, every moment he had left with Violet, but he wasn’t scared of death.

  I didn’t know if I would have been the same way if I were in his shoes. I would be pissed and trying to find any way I possibly could to hold on to as much time with Violet if I knew there was a chance I would be taken from her at any moment. I wouldn’t have been able to arrange for another man to step in and comfort her when I passed, even if I did know it would be what was best for her.

  I was too possessive, too jealous…too selfish.

  But that didn’t stop me from jumping on a plane that morning when Jenner called to tell me Remington was gone. Hearing Violet’s sobs in the background had made my heart break for her all over again, and I’d gotten to her as quickly as I could.

  Now, as I stood in front of her, watching her eat the sandwich I’d made for her, I answered the only question she was ready to hear the answer to for now.

  “Remington asked me to take care of you and the baby when he died.”

  She blinked up at me, and those beautiful purple eyes filled with tears. “Wh-what?” she whispered.

  “I’m here to take care of you and your baby girl, Vi. For as long as you need me, I’m going to be right here beside you.”

  “Be-because Remington told you to?” She was breathing heavily now, as if she couldn’t catch her breath.

  “Because you need me.”

  But even as I said the words, her eyes went blank and she started to sway. I caught her as she slumped forward, and I lifted her into my arms. She felt like she weighed nothing at all as I carried her out of the kitchen.

  As I passed the living room where everyone else was still gathered, her dad stepped out. “What happened?” he demanded, seeing his daughter passed out in my arms.

  “She’s had a long day,” I said in explanation. “Show me where the guest rooms are.”

  “This way, sir,” Jenner said as he appeared beside us. “Mrs. Briggs has already made up one of the extra beds in case she didn’t want to sleep in the master bedroom.”

  As I started to follow him up the stairs, Uncle Shane called behind me, “I’m glad you’re here, Luca. She needs you more than any of us right now.”

  Yeah, I silently agreed. She did. And Remington knew that long before I’d understood it myself.

  Chapter 45

  Luca

  I placed Violet on the bed, then pulled the covers up. The tearstains on her cheeks made my own eyes sting, but I clenched my jaw and tucked the blankets around her.

  I heard the door push open and glanced over to see the huge pit bull stroll in. He walked around to where I was standing and sniffed my hand before huffing and then climbing up on the bed beside Violet. His huge head rested on her pillow, and he pressed his nose against hers, making her shift in her sleep. Her arms went around him, and she buried her face in his fur before falling back to sleep.

  “Watch over your momma,” I told the dog. “But I’ll be close by if she needs me.”

  That only got me another huff from the dog, and I shook my head at him as I kissed the top of Violet’s head before switching off the bedside lamp and leaving the room. Making sure the door was cracked so the dog could come and go as he pleased, I turned to go back downstairs, only to find Jenner standing a few feet away.

  His concerned gaze went to the ajar door before lifting back to mine. “How is she?”

  “She’s resting,” I assured him. “The dog will comfort her if she wakes up.”

  “I’ll stay here. In case she needs something.” He stood at parade rest with his hands behind his back, his gaze on the guest room door.

  “I’ll be downstairs attempting to get the others to go home so she isn’t overwhelmed tomorrow.” I squeezed the back of my neck, dreading having to kick out the parentals but knowing I didn’t have a choice. Violet would clam up and try to be brave if everyone was around to see that she wasn’t okay. My stubborn girl would think of everyone else and forget that it was okay not to be okay all the time. “If she wakes up crying, let me know.”

  He nodded but kept his gaze on the door.

  Downstairs, I went straight to the living room where my parents and uncles were gathered. When I’d first arrived, I was so focused on Violet that I hadn’t even noticed my mom was th
ere. As I walked into the room, she came over to hug me. “Honey, are you sure you should be here?” she whispered, glancing at the others. “Violet is very fragile right now.”

  I kissed the top of her head and stepped back. “It’s okay, Mom,” I told her with a grim smile. “Remington wanted me to be here.”

  “That makes no sense to me,” Aunt Harper said as she stood and put her hands on her hips. “Actually, none of this makes sense. Remington was sick? He’s been fucking dying, and Violet knew? Why didn’t she tell me? Why didn’t she…” She broke off with a sob. “Why has she kept this bottled up for so long?”

  Uncle Shane pulled her into his arms. “You know how Vi is, beautiful. She wants to protect everyone.”

  “I can’t explain why Vi didn’t tell you,” I told them. “But I can tell you about Remington’s illness. He kept me up-to-date on his condition so I was prepared for this.”

  Aunt Emmie came in from the kitchen with a tray of coffee. Uncle Nik took it from her and placed it on a side table. I glanced at the mugs longingly, and he handed me a cup first. I took a drink and dropped down on a chair as exhaustion began to catch up with me.

  Around me, the others each grabbed a cup of coffee for themselves and spread out on the furniture. Once they were all seated, I told them about Remington’s tumor and how sick he’d really been in the last few weeks. I wasn’t even sure Violet knew just how bad things had gotten for her husband, because I knew Remington tried to hide his symptoms from her so she didn’t stress over him.

  “So, you’ve been in constant contact with Remington all this time without Violet knowing?” Dad asked, his brows lifted.

  “Yeah, basically.” I finished the last of my coffee and set the cup on the table in front of me. “He knew she would need me once he passed.”

  “That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard,” Aunt Lana muttered as she rested her head on Uncle Drake’s shoulder. “He took care of her to the very end. Even as he was leaving her, he was thinking of making sure she was okay. But to do so, he had to leave her in the hands of another guy. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I could do the same thing in that position.”