The Changeling
Page 30
I did as she asked, and rather quickly she’d stitched a tear in the hip of my dress, and reattached some of the rubies that had been pulled loose during my ride back to the palace. After her work on my dress was complete she turned her attention to my hair, efficiently smoothing, and pinning it back in place, before placing my crown upon my head again.
“May I escort you downstairs, my Queen?” Pet asked gently, offering her arm.
“If you call me your queen again I might slap you,” I snapped, accepting her offered arm. “But yes, Pet, please escort me.”
I allowed Pet to lead me out of my rooms, and down to the ballroom. The room was filled beyond capacity, guests spilling out into the garden. I moved to the center of the room, in front of the berrywine fountain, as the crowd fell silent. I turned my back to my guests to stare at the fountain, collecting my thoughts and seizing a crystal glass. I filled my glass with the rose’ berrywine flowing from the fountain and then spun around to face the Fae nobles; now my nobles, I realized.
“Thank you all for coming to celebrate this auspicious occasion with M’Tek and me,” I said, raising my voice so even those outside could hear me. “Unfortunately, M’Tek has been held up on a small matter. She can’t resist chasing Borderlings when she gets the chance. You know how she loves playing with her sword,” I said, rolling my eyes as if slightly annoyed, but also amused, by her impulsive behavior. The nobles surrounding me started laughing. “As a result, you’ll have to make do with only my company for the moment,” I offered, with what I hoped was a demure smile. My nerves were so frayed I was uncertain. “M’Tek will be back soon, I assure you. In the meantime, dance, drink, eat, and celebrate with me!” I raised my glass, and cheers erupted throughout the room. I took a sip to seal my toast, and then placed my still full glass on the edge of the fountain.
Pet was at my side in the next moment. “That was well done, my Queen. Would you like to dance?” she asked sweetly.
“Thank you, but no,” I replied. “I’ll wait for M’Tek to return. My first dance tonight will be with her.”
“She may not return tonight,” Pet observed. “It will look strange if you refuse to dance all evening.”
“I don’t really care how it looks, Pet,” I snapped. “I did what you asked of me. I performed my part in this farce. I will not dance and celebrate while M’Tek’s out there trying to get herself killed.”
“Please speak in Vilken, my Queen,” Pet said, reminding me that those around me could hear and understand what I was saying.
“I’ve already warned you about calling me your queen,” I snapped, shifting to Vilken. “Every time someone wants to control, manipulate, or flatter me, I’m suddenly their queen.”
“I apologize, Lore, I just thought…”
“Whatever you thought, it was wrong,” I replied. “You and I have been extremely close for some time. Now, we are family. We understand one another. You will not patronize me simply because I wear this new piece of jewelry on my head.” I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Pet’s eyes were wary, as if she were nervous of me for the first time.
“I never meant to do any of those things,” she assured me. “I’m sorry if I offended you.”
“It’s not your fault, Pet,” I said more gently. “You’re only trying to manage this disaster. And I’m upset, and I’m furious with your cousin.”
Pet’s arm slipped around my waist, as she guided me from of the ballroom, and out into the garden. She had never touched me with such familiarity. The gesture soothed my nerves. There were fewer people outside, but it was still crowded. I kept walking through the throng of my guests, nodding, and accepting congratulations as I passed. Pet matched my pace, her arm still tucked firmly around my side. We continued to walk past the last of my guests, without talking, until we reached the relative solitude of the cliff’s edge, far from my usual vantage point. I stared down at the glowing blue water, and the illuminated cliffs, wanting to relax. Pet’s head dropped against my shoulder for a moment as her arm tightened across my back. I noticed, not for the first time, the scent of lemon verbena that she wore. I took a deep breath and felt some of the tension leave my shoulders as I exhaled.
“You frightened me back there,” Pet confessed. “The last time I saw you upset like that you started bleeding from your shoulder where I touched you,” she pointed out.
“I remember,” I acknowledged.
“What happened that night?” she asked. “We’ve never spoken of it.”
“I know,” I whispered. “I was upset.”
“That much was obvious, Lore,” she replied. “But why were you so upset? And what happened to your shoulder? Why did you start bleeding when I only touched you?”
“Everyone kept telling me I was Sarane,” I replied. Pet’s gaze narrowed. “I am not,” I said emphatically. “I had a birthmark which matched Sarane’s exactly. It happened to be in the place you were touching me.”
“So your birthmark started bleeding?” she asked. “How? Or why rather?”
“Do you know about the shield M’Tek gave me?” I asked.
“I’ve heard a great deal over the years about some kind of divine shield she wears, a gift from Deus. It’s supposed to make her invulnerable in battle. It sounded like a load of superstitious gossip to me,” she replied. “My cousin doesn’t need a shield to keep her alive in battle.”
“No, but I did. M’Tek gave me her shield the first time we met, to protect me. Sometimes I had trouble controlling it. When I became upset, and all of my attention focused on that birthmark, my shield sliced the mark from my shoulder,” I replied.
“Were you wearing this shield when we were attacked crossing through the pass?” Pet asked me, her expression guarded.
“No,” I replied. I didn’t want to explain the details of exactly what happened that day.
“And now?” she asked, her gaze traveling over my shoulder. “Are you wearing it now?”
“No,” I replied. “I lost it.”
“Do you believe my cousin is a witch?” Pet asked. “Is that how she survived the Diminishing Sickness?” I shook my head. “There have always been rumors that she uses magic to control the outcome of battles. And I’ve worried that she won your heart through a love charm.” This last bit was what Pet was really trying to tell me.
“That was only Vilken gossip,” I assured her. “M’Tek didn’t need magic to make me love her.”
“Are you certain? We all witnessed your firm rebuffs to her relentless advances,” Pet reminded me. “And I watched her closing in on you, even before I knew you. She set out to win you years ago. My cousin explained very clearly when she sent me to Vilkerdam to be your ambassador, my task was not only to guide you in becoming a powerful ruler, but also to help her gain your affections. I played my part in securing you for her. But you’re so young, and once she had you in her sights...”
“I chose her,” I said, interrupting Pet’s confession. “I had other options, as you know.”
“Yes. I do know,” Pet agreed. “She’s made you happy, hasn’t she? I know you’re irritated with her at the moment, but truly, I’ve never seen anyone so wholly captivated as my cousin is with you.”
“M’Tek is my point of reference,” I replied, “for everything.”
“That sounds familiar,” M’Tek said from behind me. “I believe I spoke those same words to you a few hours ago, my love,” M’Tek added.
I spun around, breaking away from Pet, smiling as relief flooded through me. I was still angry with M’Tek for dominating me the way she had, but that didn’t detract from my relief at having her returned in one piece. She was dressed for battle, and slightly splattered with blood, but I didn’t care. I went to her, wrapping my arms around her.
“You scared me,” I said close to M’Tek’s ear. “Don’t ever do anything like that again.”
“My Queen,” Pet said, turning to greet M’Tek. “I meant no disrespect. I was only keeping Lore’s mind off your absence.”
Pet bowed and turned, suddenly eager to leave. I reached out to take her hand, halting her. Pet turned, her gaze shifting from M’Tek to me, as if she were slightly uneasy. I stepped away from M’Tek to wrap my arms around Pet.
“Thank you, my friend,” I said quietly. “Not just for tonight. You’ve always been good to me, even when I was only a simple Vilken girl.”
“You have never been Vilken,” Pet responded with a grin. “Remember, you’re my family now,” she added. “I love you with all my heart, Lore.”
“Pet,” M’Tek said, as I was releasing my friend. “Would you choose a dress for me to wear? My attire is inappropriate for the ball.”
“Of course, my Queen,” Pet said, turning from me and offering a slight bow to M’Tek. “I’ll see to it now.”
“I’d appreciate that,” M’Tek called after Pet’s retreating form.
“Why did you do that?” I asked, turning back to M’Tek.
“Do what?” M’Tek asked.
“Why did you dismiss her in that way? You treated her as you would a servant,” I added.
“Pet’s role is…”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about, M’Tek,” I said, interrupting her sharply. “Why were you cold toward Pet?”
“Isn’t it obvious, my love? I overheard your conversation,” M’Tek confessed. “And my cousin knows I overheard,” she added. “It was reckless of her to discuss me with you in that way.”
“She was trying to keep me calm,” I explained. “I was frightened for you.”
“No. She was trying to ease her own conscience,” M’Tek corrected. “She thinks I’ve seduced a sweet, innocent, naive girl, and forced her into an impossible position. Worse, she regrets the part she played in it,” M’Tek added. “If what I’ve done is wrong, she’s right to feel guilty for her role. After all, she’s the one who set up the mock joining feast at the close of last season. It was her idea. Without the events of that night, I doubt we’d be standing here now.”
“No one has forced me to do anything, until this afternoon,” I replied. “You treated me like a child and had me carried away against my will, all so you could run headlong into what was obviously a trap.”
“I protected you, as is my responsibility now that you’re my Queen,” she replied. “Sim’Nu wants you dead.”
“M’Tek, stop,” I said. “You can’t win this argument. What you did was completely unacceptable. You will not convince me otherwise, and…”
“And we’re both still alive to argue about it,” she interrupted. “I’d rather live with your anger, than face something happening to you.”
“I will not share a private guard with you if you intend to use them against me,” I snapped. “I’ll recruit my own guards, out of Nogeland if I have to, but I will have authority over those who are charged with my protection. I will not be treated like a feeble child, or worse still, your property, ever again.”
“No one thinks of you as a feeble child, Lore, least of all our guards,” she said trying to placate me. “Maybe I overreacted. Is that what you want me to say? I had some information that Borderlings were gathering in the west. When I saw them in the crowd, only a few feet from you, and Sim’Nu with them, I couldn’t think of anything but protecting you. I’m sorry if I upset you, but I will not lose you,” she added. “That creature tried to kill you once already.”
“So you admit you made a mistake? Promise me you won’t do it again,” I said.
“Lore, please, just let it go.”
“No. I need to hear you promise you will never use our guards to control me again,” I said calmly.
“All right. I promise,” she agreed. “I’m sorry.”
“You will not like my response if it happens again,” I warned.
“I’ve promised,” M’Tek pointed out, reaching for me. “I even told you I’m sorry. You can’t be angry with me anymore.” I allowed her to wrap me in her arms, as her mouth sought mine. I sighed when her lips trailed down my neck. “You smell wonderful,” she whispered against my skin. “Why don’t we go down to Cliffside?” she asked, her voice lowering.
“You asked Pet to choose a dress for you,” I reminded her.
“That doesn’t matter,” she whispered. “I want you. I know you want me, too. Forget the ball. This night is about us, and what we want.”
“Nothing about this day has been remotely about what I wanted, and you know that,” I replied. “I promised your guests you would be arriving soon.” She was testing me. Her lips trailed down between my breasts, forcing me to use all of my willpower to resist her. She needed to realize I would not be controlled so easily. “I want to dance, and celebrate our joining,” I insisted.
“Then we’ll dance,” she agreed, loosening her hold of me, and allowing me to escort her back toward the palace, a bath, and the start of another Fae season.
****
After dancing with M’Tek until my feet could take no more, I’d finally allowed her to lead me down to Cliffside, and to that first bed where we had made love. She skillfully attempted to circumvent my anger through sex, but I couldn’t shake my frustration with how the day had unfolded. Still, we felt completely isolated, our bodies entwined, her head on my shoulder. I sifted her white hair with my fingertips, while staring out at the Luminous Gulf. When I looked at her hair, I could clearly see the dark roots growing in, but it no longer troubled me. This most recent transformation was only another part of M’Tek, and I adored her completely.
“I love you,” she said for no apparent reason, though likely she had been in head.
“Yes, I know,” I replied. She lifted her head, stopping the movements of my fingers, in order to meet my gaze.
“You’re still angry with me,” she observed, before relaxing her head against my shoulder again.
“I am,” I admitted. “I keep remembering that feeling of helplessness as you were swallowed up by the crowd. I was terrified.”
“I forgave you, when you disappeared into the Western Noge Territory for weeks, only hours after promising not to travel without me,” she said.
“Not exactly how I remember that particular incident, but I understand your point,” I replied, smiling at her attempt.
“That’s better,” she whispered.
“What is?”
“You’re smiling now at least,” she said, without raising her head to check.
“M’Tek, are you always in my head?” I asked.
“No. You’re getting better at keeping me out,” she observed. “But you speak differently when you’re smiling. Your voice is sweeter.”
“Tell me about this afternoon,” I said, my fingers resuming their quiet rhythm, sifting through her silken hair again.
“You were right. It was a trap, of course,” she informed me. “But we already knew that before we gave chase.”
“I’m glad you weren’t trapped,” I said.
“We learned a little of Sim’Nu’s tactics,” she continued. “Maybe we know the general area where she’s hiding now.”
“I take it she’s united with the Borderlings,” I said. “What do you think she wants?”
“That’s obvious. She wants you dead,” M’Tek explained.
“Why is that obvious?” I argued. “She’d be a fool to kill me. I’ve accomplished most of the goals she set. I’m the Queen of the reunified Nogeland, Faeland now calls me Queen, and I still rule Vilkerland,” I said. “The only other requirement she set for me was the conception of offspring. What are your thoughts on having children?”
“You defied her,” she pointed out.
“We’ve both defied her, M’Tek. Truly, I don’t think that’s why she attacked me in the pass, or why she lured you away from the procession. Sim’Nu was extremely dispassionate when I spoke to her. I don’t think she cares
about betrayal or manipulation. She’s detached from typical human motivations,” I said, trying to put into words what I felt when I was with the bizarre creature. “That’s part of why it’s so unsettling to talk to her. It’s as though everything, our very existence even, is weighed and balanced in some ongoing equation in her head. You said it yourself. We aren’t real to her,” I added. “I believe she’s more interested in outcomes, than in you or me personally,” I said. “She has a certain balance, or end she’s seeking.”
“You aren’t offering her that end, my love,” M’Tek observed.
“Still, my continued existence is essential. Meanwhile, you’re standing directly in the way of her efforts,” I explained. “She wants me to rule, and she wants a Noge heir from my body. She was clear about her goals. As long as I am with you, it’s unlikely I’ll provide that heir. Also, she may think that without your influence I’d be more tractable.”
“Would you be?” she asked.
“I’m not dispassionate. If that creature harms you, in any way, I won’t rest until I hold her severed head in my hand and glare into her dead yellow eyes,” I replied.
“Deus,” M’Tek said under her breath.
“Remember that the next time you decide to risk yourself chasing after that witch,” I said. “If you don’t want me confronting Sim’Nu, protect yourself, not me.”
She cuddled closer to me before replying, “I don’t plan to chase after her again, all right? Will you please stop being angry with me?”
“I’m trying,” I said, allowing my voice to soften. “Whose blood were you wearing earlier?”
“I killed a Borderling,” she said. “He rode straight at me, screaming to his savage gods. We were obviously unequally matched. I didn’t want to kill him, but he left me no choice.”
“There’s always a choice,” I replied.
“No. There is not always a choice, Lore,” she said sharply. “I don’t enjoy taking lives anymore than you do. When some fool runs at me waving a sword, I will react, and that fool will likely die.”