Walking on Sunshine: A Sweet Love Story (Seasons of Love Book 1)

by Lakes, Krista

  “The lady doth protest too much,” Cindy quoted. “Spill.”

  I let out a dramatic sigh. “Nothing happened.” Three sets of disbelieving eyebrows raised. “Nothing!”

  “Spill,” Cindy repeated. “Or we're just going to keep pestering you all night. It's only going to get worse.”

  I glared at each of them before giving up. “I'm serious when I say nothing has happened. Cee's the ultimate gentleman. He opens doors and pulls out chairs.”

  “Sounds nice,” Melissa said softly.

  “It is,” I agreed, thinking of how just the little things- making dinner, having things ready, and being there for Ben- meant to me. “Anyway, he's very professional. There's nothing going on.”

  “But do you want there to be?” Tricia asked, setting her empty martini glass on the table.

  I played with my wineglass. “A little. But he's younger than me. He's so much better looking, and I've got a kid to think about. It just... it would never work.”

  “You won't know until you try,” Cindy said quietly. “You never know.”

  “No...” I shook my head, thinking of how screwed up my life was. “I couldn't do that to him. Right now, he's my son's nanny. He's a great addition to our house, but he's not family. Besides, I need to stay away from men. And the last person I should even think about naked is my employee.”

  “Okay. If that's what you want,” Cindy said, sitting back in her chair, her mouth disappointed.

  I looked around and watched all three of my friends shrug like I was making a mistake. But I knew I wasn't. Cee was young and wonderful, but I needed more than I could ever ask of him. He was my employee and I needed to remember that.

  No matter how good he looked in his shorts.

  ***

  I made it back to home to find Ben asleep on the couch, and Cee sitting next to him reading a book. I paused for a moment, enjoying the domestic tranquility of the scene. It felt so right that my heart ached for something I knew I could never have. Cee was our nanny. He had to leave at the end of the night.

  “Have fun?” I whispered to Cee, quietly placing my purse on the kitchen table.

  “Yeah, we watched a movie and had some pizza. He crashed a little bit ago, and I've just been reading this book.” He held it up. It was a romance book I kept on the table. “Interesting reading material you keep around the house.” He was joking, and maybe a little sarcastic, but it was cute.

  I blushed. I kept it there because I thought the cover was pretty and I almost never had anyone over.

  “It's just a romance novel. And I like the cover,” I admitted shyly. I would never tell him that I actually enjoyed the racy story.

  “It's quite steamy,” he joked, wiggling his eyebrows and making his violet eyes sparkle. “It's giving me all kinds of interesting ideas.”

  I coughed, trying to avoid eye contact with him. Cee and steamy were the two words I was trying to keep separate in my head.

  “Thank you so much for staying late tonight. It's nice to get out with the girls,” I replied quickly, trying to change the subject back to something more appropriate for a working relationship. I looked at Ben, still soundly asleep on the couch. “Let me get him in bed, and then I can write you a check.”

  I walked over to Ben to lift him up and wondered how he had gotten so much bigger the past few days. He barely fit in my arms and I had to use all my strength to just lift him from the couch. A pang in my heart reminded me that Ben wouldn't always be little.

  “I got him, Jes.” Cee stood up and took Ben from me with ease. The young boy cuddled into Cee's shoulder and gripped him tight. I walked behind as Cee carried Ben up the stairs.

  I was very thankful to be behind him as I got to watch Cee’s ass in front of me. I wondered just how much I had been drinking to stare so openly, especially since he was holding my son in his arms.

  We made it to Ben’s room and got him all tucked in. He smiled in his sleep, his lips curling up into what I imagined was the reaction of a good dream. I bent over to give him a kiss goodnight and tucked the sheets around his arms. He was getting so big. One day he wouldn’t let me do this anymore. No matter what, it would be too soon.

  We tiptoed out of the room, turning off the light as Cee closed the door behind me. A stray shoe left in the hallway tripped me up and I almost took a tumble. Cee reached out his arms and caught me. He felt so warm against my body, his strong arms wrapped around me.

  I flushed unexpectedly, unsure if it was the alcohol or the fact that I had enjoyed the moment of warmth from another person. It had been a long time since anyone had touched me. Breathe, I reminded myself.

  As cliché as it sounded, he’d taken my breath away.

  Before I could embarrass myself further, I hurried back down the stairs, hoping that he didn't see my red cheeks. Once I was in the living room, I busied myself with looking for the checkbook.

  Play it cool, Jes. Remember what you said to the girls. You aren't ready for a relationship and even if you were, the nanny is not the appropriate person to have one with.

  “Thanks again, Cee. I really do appreciate it. I'll see you tomorrow.” I smiled, finally looking up at him through my eyelashes as I handed him the check. I was scared that if I looked at him directly that I would start to blush again.

  Cee took the check, carefully folding it into his back pocket as I looked for something else to keep my hands busy. I played with the bracelet, suddenly hoping he'd help me take it off.

  Stop it. You can't have him.

  “Sure thing. Ben is really a great kid.” He reached for the door his hand hesitated at the handle, his face turned towards me. His violet eyes were warm and held me captive. “It's really great to see you having a good time. I'm glad I got to see that beautiful smile of yours.”

  I blinked. Did he really just say that?

  Before I could ask him, he opened the door. With one hand on the doorknob, he reached over and touched my shoulder. I trembled slightly. “I'll see you in the morning,” he said. “Hope to see you smiling.”

  I tried to respond back but my mouth couldn’t form the words of a simple goodbye. This wasn’t a dream. He actually said those words.

  He thought my smile was beautiful. No one had ever told me they thought my smile was beautiful.

  The door made a quiet click as I pushed it all the way closed and locked it. I couldn’t believe he made me so flustered. Yet, even though I wasn't really ready to admit it to myself, I had rather enjoyed it.

  What was I thinking? He was my nanny. He was younger than me.

  But he thought my smile was beautiful.

  Chapter Ten

  Cee held me against his smooth chest, those eyes blazing as he dipped down to kiss my jawbone, then on towards my neck. Each small kiss making me moan just a little louder...

  Instead of moaning, however, I heard the beeping of my alarm clock as it pulled me out of the dream. I groaned and wished I could ignore it for another few hours. I wanted to finish the dream, to let him take me all the way to the edge.

  My dreams were the only place where I knew I could have Cee and not feel any guilt about who he was or what his age was. Dreams were where anything was possible. There was no judgment in dreams, just release. My muscles protested as I stretched and tried to get the motivation to put my feet on the floor.

  I heard Cee’s car pull up just as I was putting the final touches on my wardrobe. My traitorous heart fluttered at the sound. I checked myself in the mirror and frowned when I saw the woman staring back at me. She looked tired. And frumpy.

  I stretched out the cardigan over the bulge in my jeans and hoped the wear would give a bit more as the day went on. I refused to go up a size and I had nothing else clean. I thought of changing, but the only other thing wearable in my closet was a cocktail dress and that wasn't going to work either.

  “Morning, Cee,” I said as I stepped into the kitchen, seeing Cee and Ben engaged in conversation at the kitchen table. I smiled and rummaged in the p
antry, grabbing a couple power bars. Breakfast of champions, I thought. “What are you guys planning to do today?”

  “I think we're going to go to the beach. Maybe do some swimming and training for lacrosse. Nothing says fun quite like running on a beach.” He smiled at Ben before handing me my travel mug full of coffee. Our fingertips touched and sent an electric tingle up my arm. His touch jolted me awake better than any cup of coffee could.

  “Sounds entertaining. Let me know if you need anything from me. I'll hopefully be home early.” I took the cup from him and gave Ben a quick kiss on the head, trying to disguise the blush heating my cheeks. How in the world was I going to survive an entire summer of this?

  ***

  The day seemed to never end. I watched the clock slowly tick by. Wednesdays were normally the busiest day. I was having a hard time concentrating on my computer screen, my mind drifted to Cee's comment about seeing me happy. The way he looked at me, just for a split second, it seemed like he was interested.

  In me. Frumpy, bumpy, divorcee me.

  I laughed at my own craziness. I was imagining things.

  Finally, 4:30 decided to show up. I hastily grabbed my purse and headed out the door. I arrived back home to the boys playing out in the yard, passing a ball back and forth with the lacrosse sticks, laughing and talking.

  It was what I always wanted for Ben. What his dad never even cared to try. A boy playing catch in the yard. Ben was happy and that was all that should matter.

  I watched for a moment, enjoying seeing my son smile. Not only that, I enjoyed watching Cee's muscular form move around the yard. My breath caught in my throat, as I stared at Cee. He had taken his shirt off, the heat of the day pounding down on him until those chiseled muscles gleamed with perspiration.

  It was the kind of thing that I happily committed to memory so that I could hopefully have it appear in my dreams tonight, because that was the only way I was ever going to see those muscles again.

  I got out of the car and ambled up to the house, focusing on each step I took. He is our nanny. He is too young for me, I kept repeating in my head. There were a million reasons why the two of us would never work out and I needed to stop my silly crush before I let it turn into anything else.

  Ben waved at me and I focused all my attention on him. Otherwise, the drool would start to escape my lips.

  “Hi, Mom. Were almost done here. Just a few more minutes if that’s okay,” Ben pleaded.

  How about a few more years? That may be enough time for me to truly appreciate this Greek god in front of me.

  “Sure, as long as we don’t hold Cee up,” I answered. I felt my vocal cords constrict. All of my blood was going away from my head and heading down south with each flex of his arms. It was not fair that the man looked that good. It was impossible not to look.

  “Nah, I'm all good. I don’t have plans till later.” Cee yelled, easily tossing the ball back to Ben. It flew past his shoulder and down into the bushes. With a groan of annoyance, Ben turned and chased it down the lawn. I tried to hold back a grin, glad to have Cee around for even a few more moments.

  I sat down on the front porch to watch the two of them play. Glancing at the neighbor's windows, I had a feeling I wasn't the only lonely housewife watching Cee work out. It was too good to pass up.

  I rolled up my pants and absorbed the warm rays from the sun. I closed my eyes, letting my thoughts drift. What if, floated through my mind. The thought of having a man who not only was sexy as hell, but also cared of my son was a fantasy I could happily stay in. It was a daydream that went on and on until interrupted cruelly by a horrible buzzing noise.

  Damn it. I looked around, not recognizing the sound, and then found a phone sitting on the porch.

  “Hey Cee, I think your phone is ringing?” I yelled, holding it up at him.

  “Who's calling?” Cee yelled back.

  “It looks like a... Grace?” I said, suddenly realizing what the name meant. Of course he would have a girlfriend, how could he not? I bit the inside of my cheek, scolding myself for getting carried away with someone who was obviously taken. It was silly of me to even let myself pretend that he was single. The man could cook and was good with kids- there was no way he was still on the market.

  “Oh?” He stopped throwing the ball and sprinted over. I tossed him his phone.

  “Hey, is everything okay?” he answered into the phone as he turned and walked a bit away. “Okay, yeah, good to know. Well, will tonight still be good?” He paused, kicking his feet back and forth over the grass. Ben made his way over to me.

  “Who’s he talking to, Mom?” Ben asked.

  “I'm not sure, but it doesn’t really matter. You know, Cee does have a life outside of us,” I joked, nudging him in the ribs. Ben just rolled his eyes at me.

  “Perfect, thanks for letting me know and I'll be there. Can’t wait.” He smiled as he hung up and strolled back to us.

  “Who was that?” Ben asked.

  “Ben, you know it's none of our business,” I scolded, but I was secretly glad my child had asked the question that was burning me from the inside.

  “It was just a friend with a slight change in plans tonight.”

  Just a friend, I thought with relief. Not a girlfriend.

  “Ben, I have to go and get changed.” Cee grabbed his shirt from the lawn. “I hope you had fun today. Make sure to tell your mom all about it.” He turned toward me, his eyes bright and young face eager. “Have a good evening, Jes.”

  He offered out his hand to help pull me up from my sitting position. I happily extended my hand to his and enjoyed the warm sensation that crept up my arm as he wrapped his hand around mine and pulled me up. I was not expecting to be pulled up so quickly, and fell forward with momentum. In my stumble, I extended my hand, landing on his chest in an attempt to steady myself. My face immediately blushed as I felt the hard muscle underneath it.

  “Thanks,” I gasped, my heart pounding out of control.

  “I'll see you tomorrow,” Cee whispered. He was so close to me I could feel the electricity between us. He eyes seemed to be darker than normal, but with a blink of his eye they returned to their violet color. My hand gave a slight wave as he pulled away and put on his shirt. I was actually disappointed that I wouldn’t get to see him for a few hours.

  I'm just going to miss my eye candy, I told myself. That's all. That's all this is.

  I was a big, fat liar and I knew it.

  Chapter Eleven

  The next morning, I woke up before the alarm for the first time in weeks, determined to look nice for Cee for a change. Maybe I'd even curl my hair.

  Yeah, right, I told myself, glancing at the clock. I would be lucky to put on earrings at my current pace. Just because I was up and motivated, didn't mean I was actually getting anything done.

  I pulled out a long dark skirt and a flowery blouse that I always thought accentuated my figure. It played to my strengths, the few of them I felt like I still had. The shirt gave just a hint of cleavage and the skirt made my ass look like a million bucks.

  It was silly, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to look like a million bucks. I wanted Cee to look at me like a million bucks.

  I paused in the mirror, thinking. Why was I doing this? He was our nanny. He was younger than me. He had shown almost no interest in me. So he thought I had a beautiful smile, so what? That could be platonic.

  But I didn't want it to be.

  I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers into my scalp. Why did I want him to care so much? I shouldn't and I knew it. But that didn't change the flutter in my stomach at the thought of him seeing me this morning and telling me I looked nice.

  I put the finishing touches on my makeup, wishing I had just a few more hours to perfect my look as I heard his car pull into the driveway. I stepped back. This was as good as it was going to get.

  I hurried downstairs to let him in, smiling brightly as I opened the door to let him in.

  “Wow,” Cee remarked, takin
g a step back. “You look great. Big meeting today?”

  “Thanks.” I flushed with pleasure, loving the way his eyes traveled up and down my body. For the first time in months, I felt at least slightly attractive. I knew that my muffin top was bulging slightly and that the shirt was a little tight across my shoulders, but when Cee said I looked nice, I believed him.

  “I, uh...” Cee shook his head as if I was distracting him. The thought made me laugh and preen just a little. “I got you some coffee on my way. I was stopping and thought you would like some and...”

  He trailed off, then handed me the coffee before stepping into the house. Compliments and gifts from a sexy guy. This day was already shaping up to be the best Monday in the history of ever.

  “Ben's still sleeping,” I told him, closing the door behind him as Cee hurried into the house. “He wanted to stay up and watch this old dinosaur movie with me. I figured he didn't have school today, so...”

  I trailed off, suddenly worried that I might have upset Cee's plans with Ben.

  “That's fine.” Cee grinned. “I used to love it whenever my mom let me stay up late. Besides, you and Ben come first.”

  “Oh.” I was struck at how different Cee and my ex-husband were. Richard would have berated me. Even if he didn't have plans with Ben, Richard would have made a big deal about how I had upset him. It was a welcome change to have someone trust my judgment about my son.

  “Do you want some breakfast?” Cee asked, rubbing the stubble on his chin. “I mean, for you and Ben?”

  “That would be great,” I stammered, suddenly nervous. It was just breakfast. Cee made breakfast for us everyday. I had no reason to suddenly be nervous about being alone with Cee. But we usually had Ben as a buffer.

  “What would you like? French toast? Pancakes?” Cee asked. He moved through the kitchen, pulling out pans and bowls. He looked so comfortable there. So right.

  “Pancakes would be great,” I answered. “Can I help?”

  “Sure.” Cee grinned at me. “If you'll grab the eggs and the milk, I'll start mixing everything together.”