Unchangeable (Undescribable Book 4)

by Shantel Tessier

  I wrap my arms around her and pull her into me. “Am I the reason that you are in a bad mood?”

  “Yes,” comes the one word that I was expecting.

  “What did I do?” I ask truly wondering this.

  “What time did you get home last night?” She wastes no time with the questions.

  “I…”

  “You went to a bar. Instead of coming home, you went to a bar.”

  “With your brother and Missy. It was just…” I try to explain to her that it was just for a drink but I did have more than one.

  She pulls away from me. “I don’t care who it was with. You chose a bar over coming home to your family.” She sniffs and her bright green eyes start to tear up.

  “Whoa,” I say wondering where this is coming from. “Why does that bother you so much?”

  “Really?” Her voice rises in anger. “Why would I get mad that you chose a bar over your family?”

  “It wasn’t like that,” I say softly. “It was just a few drinks.”

  She closes her eyes as she takes a few deep breaths. “I just don’t wanna be that couple.”

  “What couple?”

  “The one where the husband would rather go to a bar to pick up chicks than come home to his family.” Her words make me realize what has her so upset and I’m shocked that she could even think like that.

  I walk up to her and place my hands on her cold cheeks. I lean down, placing my forehead on hers. “I’m sorry, Angel. I didn’t think it would upset you.”

  She wraps her arms around my neck. “Parker told me you were in a bad mood yesterday. I wanted us to spend some time alone together last night,” she whispers. “But you never came home and I fell asleep waiting for you.”

  I hate that I let her down. I guess in a way I can see where she thinks I chose to go out rather than come home but that was not my intention. “Let me make it up to you,” I offer.

  “How?” she asks softly.

  I smile against her lips. “Tonight. I’ll do anything you want me to do tonight. I’ll close up early and the girls can close up the bakery. We can go home and be alone. Just you and me.”

  She sighs. “That sounds wonderful but what about Sadey?”

  “I’ll have my parents keep her a little later than usual. Then after we have our time together, I’ll go and pick her up. Deal?”

  “Deal.”

  I lean in to kiss her, but she pulls away when she hears my phone ring. “One second,” I say pulling it out of my pocket. Father lights up my screen.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  SAMANTHA

  I leave Slade to his phone call and walk back into the bakery, mainly because I’m freezing cold. February in St. Louis can be brutal.

  I find Parker still sitting at the round table looking off into the distance. “Tired?” I ask. I overheard them talking about him falling asleep up at the office last night. I can relate to him quite a bit. I feel like I’m tired most of the time. I have moments where I just want to fall to the floor, curl up into a ball, and sleep for days. Slade and I got lucky with Sadey. She has always been a baby who enjoys her sleep. But work is just kicking my butt. You would think that I would be used to my schedule by now, but I’m not.

  “Yeah,” he says through a yawn. “Working the night shift at the department is killing me.”

  “Why don’t you quit the force?” I ask leaning against the counter. I don’t know all that much about Parker when it comes to his career as a police officer. I know he’s good at his job, and he has saved his friends’ lives. I just don’t know why he’s still there. I guess he could need the money.

  He looks up at me at my question. His dark eyes look intense for someone who is so tired. He looks to be thinking about the right thing to say but is having a hard time finding the right words. “For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be a police officer. It would be silly to throw that away now just because I’m tired.” And with those words, he stands from the table and walks out.

  I have a feeling there’s more there than what he wants me to know. Parker is always cutting up and being an ass, but I feel like he’s covering something up. He doesn’t want others to know just how vulnerable he truly is.

  “Hey baby, I gotta go,” Slade says as he comes through the back door.

  “The office?” I ask, and he just gives me a nod. “I love you,” I mumble against his lips as he leans down to kiss me. His lips barely touch mine and he goes to pull away. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into me. He gets the hint and opens up his mouth for a deep kiss. This man, the same man who asked me to have a three-way with him in the women’s bathroom, still has the power to bring me to my knees with a kiss.

  His hands slide up my back; he opens his mouth wider and deepens the kiss. Allowing me to taste. I moan as my insides tighten and my legs start to turn to mush. I need him so bad. My body needs him. I need to be reminded what loving him feels like. All too soon, he pulls away. “Sorry, Angel, but I gotta go,” he whispers, breathing heavily.

  I slouch back against the counter and watch him leave. The muscles of his back move as he slides his coat over his shoulders. My hands tingle at the thought of touching him. At ripping that white shirt off his body and placing my hands on him. I need him on top of me so badly I can taste it. In a matter of seconds, he’s gone and I sigh.

  I catch sight of Missy walking out of the office now off the phone and I stop her. “Did you talk to Tate?” I ask.

  “I did.” She smiles. “And thanks. Everything is better now.”

  I nod my head at her, not bothering to ask any more questions.

  ***

  Once I head into the house, I throw my purse along with a jacket on the back of the couch as I walk through the living room. I then kick off my shoes as I make my way down the dark hallway. It’s a little past ten now. Slade had called me earlier and apologized, saying he couldn’t take off early today. He mentioned something about his dad and then said he would call me back. He never did. He did text me that he would pick up Sadey from his parents’ and see me at home later, but that isn’t unusual.

  I come into our bedroom. I come to a stop when I see an open suitcase sitting on the end of our bed. My heart pounds in my chest and a million thoughts are going through my mind at the moment. “Slade?” I all but yell.

  He comes out of our closet. “Shh,” he hushes me as he walks over to the bed and drops a pair of dress slacks into the suitcase. “Sadey is asleep.”

  “What in the hell are you doing?” I ask wide-eyed staring at the suitcase.

  He takes a deep breath and then walks over to me. “I have to leave.”

  “Leave? Where do you have to go?” I don’t remember him ever mentioning traveling with his new company.

  “I’ve been helping my dad on a case.” I look up at him and my confusion grows as he speaks.

  “Case? When did you start helping your dad with a case?” Has he been working cases this entire time? “I don’t understand,” I say trying to figure out what I have been missing. Our lives have changed a lot in the last two years. Our family has grown, and we have started new careers. There are days I wouldn’t see him unless he comes by the bakery for a snack or my cookies. We used to stay up all night having sex; now sex is the last thing on my mind when I lay down at night. My head barely hits the pillow, and I’m out like a light. But that doesn’t mean he can just up and leave without letting me know what the hell is going on.

  He gets my attention as he looks down at me, his big blue eyes are soft, and he runs the back of his hand down my cheek. It’s like he’s trying to soften the disappointment that he knows is about to come. “My dad called me yesterday and wanted me to help him on a case. I wasn’t going to tell him no.”

  I pull away from him in shock. “When were you going to tell me that you were helping him out?” I demand, placing my arms over my chest.

  He runs a hand through his dark hair. “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

 
That’s his excuse for everything lately. He used it for going out to the bar instead of coming home as well, and frankly, I’m tired of hearing it. I stomp over to the bed and point to his open suitcase. “This isn’t a big deal?” I ask and my voice trembles from anger.

  “I have to leave, Angel,” he snaps at me.

  “Why can’t your dad go?”

  He throws his hands out to his side as if that was a horrible suggestion. “Because he put me in charge of this case.”

  “Oh,” I exclaim. “You’re in charge,” I repeat with a bite. “Why the hell are you in charge of a case in the first place, Slade? This isn’t what you do. You’re no longer an attorney.”

  “This is exactly what I do,” he shouts furiously, and I take a step back from him. I sit down at the end of the bed with a heavy sigh, and he takes in a calming breath. I hate how quickly a conversation can turn to a fight these days. But that’s what happens when you are stressed and lacking sleep.

  After a few tense seconds, he walks over to me. Kneeling down, he speaks. “I’ll only be gone for one day.”

  I can’t help but hate this. I thought he gave this up for us. For him. I never asked Slade to quit his job as a defense attorney. He loved it. It was part of him, but when he walked away from it, it was like a weight was lifted off us. I felt safer. He felt more secure. But it’s only been a year and here he goes running back. I hang my head and twiddle my thumbs as they lay in my lap.

  He places his hand on them to calm my nerves. “What if this one case makes you want to go back?” I say the only thing that I can think of. Slade and I haven’t always been the best at saying what we feel. I kept stuff in afraid of how he would react, and he kept things from me because he felt I couldn’t handle the truth. It was exhausting and frustrating how many secrets we once had. I don’t want that between us. How will we ever grow as husband and wife if we continue to stay secretive?

  He lifts his hand to push my hair back out of my face. “You and Sadey mean more to me than anything in this world,” he says with a frown as if I should already know this. And I do. “More than a case. More than my company. You two are my life, Angel.” I swallow hard waiting for the but. There’s always a but. “I’m just helping out my father. It’s only a day. I’ll be back before you know it.”

  I nod my head, accepting the decision he has already made. “I’m gonna miss you.” I sniff. It’s gonna be weird to be in our house without him here. Even if it’s only for one night. Slade and I have never spent one night without each other since we’ve been married. It’s crazy how much you can depend on someone.

  He gives me a reassuring smile. “I’m gonna miss my girls. I’ll be back before you know it.” He stands and gives me a soft kiss on the forehead. “I’m gonna take a quick shower,” he says before walking into the bathroom.

  I lie down, place my head on my pillow, and close my eyes as I yawn, praying that everything he says was the truth.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  SAMANTHA

  I sit in the back of the bakery at the round table that the guys usually occupy thinking about our fight we had last night and my morning. Slade left first thing this morning to head to Chicago. He hugged and kissed me and Sadey bye. I cried and he reassured me there was nothing to be sad about. I almost felt like he was ready to leave. To have a break from our busy lives. Like it may feel like a mini vacation for him. I just had this feeling that something wasn’t right, and I was right. I just got off the phone with him. He has to stay another day. It broke my heart. I said okay because there was nothing else to say. He’s working a case, and I have no control over what happens to it. He didn’t sound excited about having to stay an extra day, but he also didn’t sound hurt either.

  I just can’t get it out of my mind but I feel like our spark has run its course and that scares me. I love Slade more than anything. He’s my world. But how do you keep that feeling alive? How do you not let everyday life and children come between the two of you? How do you keep the romance alive? That is the million-dollar question.

  I lay my head down on the table and sniff. The tears threaten to fall, but I close my eyes tightly. I’m just begin emotional. Lack of sleep and a mind that won’t stop from coming up with the worse scenarios will do that to you.

  “Wakie, wakie.”

  I let out a sob when I hear Parker’s voice. I don’t know why, but I just want to be left alone. Today is that type of day that you cover yourself with blankets and stay in bed. But that’s not a possibility when you have a child and a business to run.

  “Hey?” I hear him walk over to my side before his hand lands on my back. “What’s wrong?”

  Another sob wracks my body when he speaks. “Samantha?” His voice gets more demanding than concerned. I fight him as he tries to pull me to sit up but eventually I lose.

  “What is going on?” he asks kneeling down in front of me.

  I shake my head quickly as I wipe the tears from my face. “Nothing.”

  “You’re lying.”

  More tears fall. Is Slade lying? I mean, I know it’s a business trip but is he going to go to a bar there by himself? Will he meet someone who makes him feel the way I used to? Someone young and pretty with no cares in the world? I was once that girl. Hell, that was me about two years ago. Most couples date for years, get married and then wait a few more to have kids. Our relationship moved so fast.

  “Is it because Slade left town?” he asks, and I can’t help but nod my head.

  “He didn’t even ask me to go,” I say sadly. “Sadey and I could have gone up there with him. He just called and said he has to stay another day. It is Valentine’s Day, after all.” Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. He said he would be back by tomorrow afternoon. But I would have loved for me and Sadey to have gone up there tonight and stayed with him. Guess he didn’t feel the same.

  “Shit,” Parker hisses softly as if he just realized tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. I’m pretty sure Slade doesn’t know that. I just remembered it this morning after Slade walked out of the house. Which is crazy because I have been preparing for it for the last month up here at the bakery.

  “Let me help you,” Parker says running his hands down the side of my arms.

  “You can’t.”

  He stands and looks down at me. “I can. Let me watch Sadey. You can leave tomorrow morning and come back on Sunday. It will be one night.” He smiles softly down at me. “If I have any problems, I have plenty of friends to call.”

  “I can’t…Tate and Missy…”

  “I live with them. They can help me if I need it.” He bends down, grabs my hands, and pulls me to stand. “You can and you need to.” He sighs as if he’s thinking how to say the next words. “I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s serious, Sam.” I sniff. If someone like Parker who is too consumed with himself can see his friend is having marriage problems, then it is obviously bad. “But go and surprise your husband on Valentine’s Day.”

  I’m at a loss. I need to see my husband. I need to talk to my husband and I need to do it without Sadey around. The girls can run the bakery just fine without me for one day. I don’t want her to hear us fight, and I don’t want to do something stupid that will wake her up. Somehow the universe has sent me Parker to save my marriage and my sanity. Oh God, I’m gonna barf.

  ***

  Slade called me five times today. And text me about twenty. He was overly sweet and sounded in a much better mood, but I couldn’t help think that it was because of the case. He’s getting to do what he has always loved. I wasn’t making him smile. Or making him laugh, and that is what hurts me the most.

  My plane ticket has been bought. My bag is packed. All I need is a good night’s sleep, but I can’t close my eyes. I keep thinking about Slade as I lay here in our bed. Our little princess lays sleeping beside me. I wonder what he’s doing. If he’s working or sleeping. If he’s getting a drink out at some bar or if he’s thinking about me.

  What is going to Chicago going to fix? When we
step off that plane on Sunday, we go back to our busy lives. Life isn’t a vacation. And marriage isn’t easy. I could work up at the bakery twenty-four hours a day but being a parent will still be my hardest job. Even when you’re not with your kids, you worry about them. And I guess that never changes even once they are married themselves.

  I lean over and give her a soft kiss on her little cheek before I lie back down. I don’t know what the future holds for Slade and me, but I know that I’m gonna fight to keep it.

  CHAPTER SIX

  SLADE

  I lift the cold glass of bourbon to my lips and take a sip. I inhale sharply at the burn before placing it back on the bar.

  “Another one?” the guy asks standing behind the bar.

  I shake my head no as I pull my phone out of my pocket. I look at my phone. It’s almost one here so I know Angel is in bed back at home. I set my phone down and pick up my drink once again. I need to finish it off and then go up to my room. It’s been a long day, but thankfully, it was a productive one. I ended up having to push my stay back to another day. In light of new evidence, we get to go before a judge tomorrow. Angel didn’t sound all that surprised when I called her this morning, but she did tell me she understood. What did she want me to do? I can’t leave. My father asked me to help him out on this job because my brother is swamped with cases and my parents had planned a trip this weekend months ago. For what, I can’t remember. I just know they were going out of town and this case has moved quicker than he could have anticipated. So, of course, I was going to help them.

  “Is this seat taken?”

  I look over my shoulder to a woman who stands there pointing to the empty seat next to me. Her brown eyes are covered in a dark shadow. Her lips tinted red. I can’t help but stare at her plump breasts that she has popping out from her red dress.