Essence Revisited

by Darryl Bailey

  Essence, Copyright © 2003 - Darryl Bailey

  Revised edition, Essence Revisited, first published April 2011

  Copyright © 2011, 2012 - Darryl Bailey & Non-Duality Press

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.

  Editor: Sandra Stuart

  Layout: Link Phillips, Julian Noyce & John Gustard

  www.non-dualitypress.org

  E-book ISBN: 978-1-908664-19-8

  Paperback ISBN: 978-0-9566432-6-1

  In 2003, I self-published the book Essence with the help of two friends, Sandra Stuart and Link Phillips, acting as editor and layout designer. Essence Revisited is a refinement of that first offering. Much of the original text is retained; the main points are still here, in simpler fashion; some elements are gone for the sake of clarity, and new considerations have arisen; but it still carries the flavour of those many summer hours that the three of us gathered in Sandra’s gazebo, excited by life’s dance and the possibility of presenting it on a page.

  Darryl Bailey

  September 2010

  For those who are drawn to it.

  Contents

  Cover Image

  Title Page

  Copyright & Permissions

  Introduction

  Question and Answer: Part I

  Reflections I

  Taoist Echoes

  Reflections II

  Shades of Advaita

  Reflections III

  Question and Answer: Part II

  Endnotes

  About the Author

  Acknowledgments and Appreciation

  Backcover

  Introduction

  The ideas offered here are not the only possible views of existence.

  If you relate to them,

  wonderful;

  if not,

  wonderful.

  Question and Answer: Part I

  Q: You describe the human race as being perfect as it is, as perfect as any other manifestation of nature. You also say we’re not responsible for who we are or what we do. This is very different from other teachings, such as Buddhism, that promote practices for self-restraint, self-knowledge, self-improvement, and so on.

  DB: It seems so, at first. Students of spiritual teachings often believe those teachings are about perfecting themselves through great effort. They do various practices in the hope of turning themselves into something called an enlightened being.

  They assume an enlightened being is someone who never experiences unpleasant emotions, like confusion, anger, sorrow, jealousy, fear, depression, and so on.

  The students are hoping to escape these difficulties and attempt to make themselves calm and contented all the time. They’re looking for some kind of understanding and skill that will give them control over the unpleasant aspects of life.

  I meet them after they’ve been doing their self-development practices for many years and they’re wondering why those practices haven’t worked, why they don’t feel perfected, and why they still experience unpleasant emotions.

  It’s because the so-called enlightenment that these traditions offer has nothing to do with self-improvement or control.

  You can practice observing your thoughts and emotions, analyzing them, restraining them, and attempting to overcome them as much as you want, but there’s a basic delusion in that situation that never gets addressed and that delusion is what these teachings are ultimately about.

  All the great spiritual teachings ultimately point to a freedom that has nothing to do with self-improvement or control.

  Q: And that freedom is?

  DB: The realization that life isn’t our doing; we’re a movement of nature. Everything, just as it is in any moment, is the already complete and pure expression of existence; it’s never been a person accomplishing anything.

  Q: Could you elaborate on that?

  DB: Yes. If we examine life, we can observe that everything is changing. Even the most stable looking “thing” in existence is undergoing some change in each moment.

  This is easy to see in things that change quickly, such as thoughts, moods, and emotions, but it’s not so immediately obvious in things that change slowly, such as walls, furniture, and mountains. However, if we take the time to seriously consider it, we can acknowledge the fact that everything is changing.

  If it isn’t maintained, this house we’re sitting in will eventually dry up, turn to dust, and blow away. Nobody has the impression that it will stay brand-new for hundreds of years and then grow old overnight. Instead, there is the sense that it’s ageing slowly and that it’s changing right now, in subtle ways.

  If we look at trees that have fallen in a forest, it’s easy to observe that they’re decomposing. They’re slowly vanishing, turning to powder, and those bits of powder will eventually become so small they’ll seem to disappear. The form of a tree is actually a movement that unfolds from a seed, grows to maturity, and eventually fades away.

  It’s the same with everything in existence. The Himalayan mountains are growing one inch every year, while other mountain ranges are grinding down and will eventually be flat land. There once was an ocean in this place where we’re sitting, but it’s not here now, and what is is changing in its own ways.

  The planet earth began as hot gases that became molten lava and then solid rock, and this rock will move through its various appearances until it eventually disappears. Astronomers watch entire galaxies blipping out of existence in the far reaches of the universe.

  If we explore life, with its plants growing, creatures ageing, rivers flowing, cities transforming, climates fluctuating, continents shifting, and so on, we find constant movement. If we look to our own being, we find the same happening: breath coming and going, heart beating, thoughts flowing, moods shifting, perceptions altering, sounds dancing, twinges, pains, pulsations, vibrations, and so on.

  All of existence is a moving, vibrant event.

  It doesn’t matter what it is — an atom, a thought, a sound, a situation, a body, a mental state, a plant, a storm, a mountain, or a galaxy — everything that we know of is changing, either quickly or slowly. Inward and outward, big or small, there is only this shift and flux. If this is fully acknowledged, it may be realized that this is all that actually exists.

  No object or “thing” is ever truly formed anywhere. Nothing is ever established or defined. No thing ever comes to stay, to exist, to “be”.

  What we usually consider to be a collection of things, the many things of the universe, is more accurately pointed to as a “great spirit”, since this reflects the fact that it is a vital, flowing event.

  In some spiritual traditions it’s referred to as an unformed presence, or simply “un-form”, since constant change is the ongoing absence of any particular arrangement or shape.

  This constant flow isn’t some imaginary situation: it’s all that is ever experienced. It’s everything we are and everything around us. Inward and outward, there is only an unformed liveliness.

  Some call it energy, quantum energy, or dark energy; some call it pure consciousness or pure awareness; some call it Mind, with a capital m; some refer to it as the ever-shifting ocean of existence; and some simply give it labels like God, Tao, or Atman.

  Obviously, a happening or presence that always changes can’t be described as anything in particular. It’s an ever-shifting dynamic. Completely acknowledging this vital event brings a major shift in the sense of living.

  If existence is seen as a collection of things, th
ere is the hope of finding and holding some “thing” that won’t change. There’s also the belief that existence can be described and understood. But this perspective brings a great deal of unhappiness, because it constantly refuses the dance that life is.

  We want life to be something in particular — something pleasant, something definable, something stable and secure — a particular way of being. But existence isn’t anything in particular. There is only an ever-shifting event, the absence of any intrinsic form.

  The belief in form constantly struggles with the movement of existence and that movement will always break through any false impression of stability, leaving feelings of frustration, confusion, and sorrow.

  If, however, it’s realized that every so-called thing, including you, is actually motion, there is no expectation of stability; there’s never any form to hold or to understand. There is simply a magical dance of ever-changing appearances.

  If we ask the body to stop growing old, it does not. If we ask it to change only in healthy directions, it does not. Even with our best efforts the body will, at some point, exhibit sickness, ageing, and death.

  Ask your circumstances to stop changing, or to change only in pleasant directions, and they don’t. The same is true for your various thoughts, feelings, perceptions, mental activities, states of mind, and all other apparent things.

  Waves rise up and fade away. The breath inhales and exhales. The heart clenches and relaxes. There is the alternating appearance of sound/silence, light/dark, hot/cold, joy/sorrow, clarity/confusion, the pleasant and the unpleasant.

  Whether it’s the change of moods, viewpoints, bodies, the weather, the environment, and so on, life is an ever-shifting flow. No one is making this happen and no one can stop it.

  We can try to stop it, to control thoughts, emotions, health, and so on, only to discover that the effects of such efforts are both limited and short-lived. No matter how much you’ve tried to make your life constantly pleasant, it hasn’t worked.

  For everyone, life is an ongoing dance of ups and downs. Realizing this allows us to see that, along with pleasant periods, there will be unpleasant periods. Difficulties arise, sometimes extreme, because this is the natural rhythm of existence expressing itself.

  On one hand, this is a wonderful fact to learn. It dissolves a great deal of useless struggle and confusion when we simply acknowledge this obvious rhythm. However, most of us are then left with the feeling of being someone subject to the cold, cruel whims of existence, someone standing separate from the event, being abused by it. So let’s look at this more closely.

  If you sit, or lie down, and make no effort at all, you may discover another fact: everything happens on its own.

  Breathing occurs without anyone doing it. The heart beats in the same way. Seeing occurs without anyone having to manipulate the rods and cones of the eye. Hearing, touching, tasting, smelling, and thinking simply happen. Feelings, thoughts, and moods come and go. Focuses of attention dance around; blood circulates; hair grows; the nervous system operates; and so on.

  All of this simply happens. There isn’t anyone doing it.

  As a fertilized egg in the womb, we didn’t decide to grow larger or decide to take a trip down the birth canal. Outside the womb, we didn’t decide to begin growing, thinking, walking, or talking. No “self ” directs any of this; it simply occurs as the compulsive flow of nature.

  We don’t create our bodies and we don’t create our brains. We don’t create the physical abilities, mental abilities, and lack of abilities, we are. We don’t create the apparent needs, interests, and concerns that arise in any moment. All of this simply happens on its own.

  We can’t arbitrarily decide to be something else, to be a different body and brain, a different set of physical and mental abilities, different needs, interests, and concerns. Even if it appears as though we make decisions, they grow out of the needs, interests, and concerns that arise in any particular moment and there’s no “self ” that makes it happen.

  Nature presents situations that demand a decision and the response to those situations is a movement of the only body, need, interest, and ability that nature also presents.

  We don’t have this body, need, interest, and ability; we are this body, need, interest, and ability. Again, if you sit and make no effort, the movement that you are expresses itself quite clearly — the dance of pulsations, vibrations, thoughts, moods, needs, interests, and so on — but there’s never an experience of anything owning that movement.

  Some incline toward art, some to science, others to social service, to family, to business, religion, technology, and so on. If your main love is art, you can’t arbitrarily decide to love science instead.

  Everyone’s experience indicates that everything we are, and everything we do, is simply the movement of existence itself. It’s here that we come to the highest realization indicated in all the great spiritual traditions: we do not exist as anything apart from the flow of nature and that flow is an unformed, inexplicable dance accomplishing itself.

  Q: You’re saying we have no free will.

  DB: No, I’m saying be very careful with descriptions of existence; they contain a great deal of confusion and fear. If everything is acknowledged as it actually is, ever-shifting and unformed, it’s an indefinable happening. All that’s ever experienced is an unformed dance presenting itself. It’s the vibrant, pulsing, luminous event that this moment is. There is only that.

  Q: But surely that can’t be the case. I mean, I’ve decided to come here and ask these questions and you’ve decided to answer them the way you do. That’s free will.

  DB: Yes, but the decision you apparently made grows out of an interest in spiritual inquiry, out of the apparent interest, understanding, and need, that you are right now.

  You didn’t decide at some point in your life to be this interest, understanding, and need; it simply happens as a movement of nature. Someone else is out surfing, or studying international banking, while you’re here asking me these questions. There’s nothing you can do about it; you have to be the expression you are in this moment.

  I also have an interest in spiritual inquiry, an interest I didn’t create and can’t ignore. If you come to me seriously investigating this matter, I’m compelled to respond to your questions.

  I don’t decide what my response will be. I’m capable of responding in only one way, and that response is what nature presents in this moment. I can’t arbitrarily choose to be something else.

  Q: So, for you it’s automatic; everything happens automatically.

  DB: Yes. You could also say spontaneously, organically.

  Just as the ripples, bubbles, and waves of an ocean are not separate objects directing their lives — they’re one movement — the various things in the universe are not separate objects directing their lives. They’re also one movement.

  All forms are motion. Form, or “thingness”, is an illusion, and there’s no cure for that illusion other than seeing that it’s unreal.

  Just as a rope, if it’s not seen clearly, can seem to be a snake, or a mirage can seem to be water, the totally unformed, inexplicable dance of this moment can seem to be people in a world. But that’s a false appearance.

  Q: And you’re saying this is enlightenment.

  DB: Yes, realizing this is called enlightenment, but it’s the realization of a happening that can’t be defined in any way at all. This happening can have no true description, not even the description of a person getting enlightened.

  There’s simply the unformed, luminous, pulsing dance that this moment is. It magically appears to be all kinds of things, but those appearances are false. None of them are a stable form: there is only constant movement, and there’s no possible explanation for it.

  Q: It’s a pure knowing.

  DB: No, that’s another fantasy.

  Q: But what’s knowing that?

  DB: Nothing. “Knowing” is a meaningless label.

  Consider this: with a newb
orn, there are no labels for existence —there is no storyline —no “knower”, no “knowing” and no “object of knowing.”. There’s the same basic warming, cooling, sounding, silencing, lightening, darkening, tingling, trembling, event that this moment is, but there are no labels for it. It’s a totally mysterious happening.

  If I point to something nearby, this for example, and I ask you what this is, you would give me a sound, the sound “chair”, but that sound is not what I’m pointing to.

  If I ask a newborn what this is, the child isn’t going to say “chair”. The child doesn’t have a sound or symbol for anything. There’s simply a mysterious happening without labels. For the so-called child there isn’t even a question; it’s just meaningless “blah, blah, blah”.

  At some point, labels will arise as part of this happening, but sounds like “chair” and “knowing” and “child” have no more meaning than sounds like “dizzlydonk” and “wotafaroo”.

  Existence is a totally mysterious event in its arising and, no matter how many sounds and labels appear in this happening, it remains a totally mysterious event. Just as the barking of a trained seal is not explaining existence, no matter how many sounds we’re trained to bark, we’re also not explaining existence.

  Q: So, how is this felt to be freedom?

  DB: In any moment, there is only an unformed, inexplicable happening moving on its own, but there’s the strange belief that it’s a “self ” — living in — and “knowing” — a world of “things”. It’s an absolutely mysterious event, however; there’s the apparent delusion that it’s being understood and the further delusion that there’s something intrinsically wrong with it.

  There’s a desperate attachment to the story of a me that is knowing and directing something called life, and the feeling that I’m not doing it correctly, because it’s never what it “should” be. There’s a general feeling of guilt for our perceived flaws and shortcomings, and the judging of everyone else as being even more flawed, in order to feel better about the situation.