The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

by Nagaru Tanigawa

  “You’ll cease functioning before that happens.”

  I had no idea where Asakura’s voice was coming from, since she was hidden somewhere in that colorful mirage.

  A whirring sound cut through the air.

  Nagato swung her heel into me hard and sent me flying.

  “What are you…”

  … doing, was what I was trying to say, but an invisible spear shot past my nose and was swallowed by the floor.

  “I wonder how long you can last while protecting that thing. Then how about this?”

  The next moment, Nagato was standing in front of me, impaled on a dozen light brown spears.

  “…”

  Asakura had attacked both Nagato and me at the same time from multiple directions. While some spears had been crystallized and thus disabled, a few that hadn’t been intercepted flew toward me, and Nagato used her own body to protect me. That’s how it happened. Of course, at the time, I had no way of knowing that.

  Nagato’s glasses fell from her face and softly bounced to the floor.

  “Nagato!”

  “There is no need for you to move,” Nagato said softly, after taking one glance at the dense cluster of spears protruding from her chest and abdomen.

  A small pool of blood began forming around Nagato’s feet.

  “I am fine.”

  No, you don’t look fine at all.

  Nagato pulled out one of the spears sticking out of her body without batting an eye and dropped it to the floor. The blood-stained spear hit the floor with a muted sound. A few minutes later, it transformed into a desk. So that’s what the spear actually was?

  “Now that you’ve suffered so much damage, you won’t be able to interfere with other data. I’ll end this now.”

  I could faintly see Asakura hidden on the other side of this shaking space. She was smiling. She silently raised her two arms, if I saw correctly, and her arms, from shoulder to fingertip, became enveloped in a dazzling light that extended two arm lengths. No, not just two arm lengths—

  Asakura’s arms extended even further, shooting out like wriggling tentacles, and attacked from both left and right. “Die.”

  Unable to move, Nagato’s small body shuddered…. Warm, red liquid splashed against my face.

  Asakura’s left arm thrust through Nagato’s right side. Her right arm shot through Nagato’s left upper chest. Her arms then exited through Nagato’s back before finally burying themselves in the classroom wall.

  The blood gushing from Nagato’s body flowed down her pale legs to widen the pool of blood.

  “Finished,” Nagato said softly as she seized a tentacle. Nothing was happening.

  “What’s finished?” Asakura sounded like she was sure of victory. “The three years of your brief life?”

  “No.”

  Even with all those serious injuries, Nagato sounded like there was nothing wrong at all.

  “Commence nullification of data link.”

  It happened suddenly.

  My first thought was that everything in the room was shining. But a second later, it all began crumbling into glittering sand. The desk next to me also disintegrated into a gathering of tiny particles before collapsing.

  “Impossible…”

  Asakura stood showered by a rain of crystal grains. This time, she was the one who appeared shocked.

  “You are exceptionally skilled,” said Nagato. The spears stuck in her body also turned into sand. “That is why it took so long to force a program into this space. But it is finished now.”

  “You prepared entropy factors before you infiltrated this space. That would explain why you seemed too weak. You had already expended your offensive data before we began….” Asakura spoke resignedly as she watched her two arms also begin to crystallize. “Ah, what a pity. I suppose I was only ever a backup. And I thought it would be a good chance to end this stasis.”

  Asakura turned to me. She was back to her classroom face.

  “I’ve lost. Lucky you. You get to live a while longer. But you’d best be careful. As you can see, the Overmind has its dissenting voices. Well, humans are the same way. Another agent from the radical faction may come one day. Or perhaps Nagato’s master may switch views.”

  Asakura was already covered from chest to toe with shining crystals.

  “Enjoy your time with Suzumiya until then. Bye.”

  Asakura disintegrated into a small sandpit without a sound. The grains of crystal grew finer and finer before finally dissolving, eventually becoming invisible to the eye.

  As the crystals rained down like rustling fine glass, the female student known as Ryoko Asakura was eradicated from this school.

  There was a soft thud. I twisted my head in its direction. Finding that Nagato had collapsed, I hurriedly stood up.

  “Hey! Nagato, hang in there! I’ll call an ambulance.”

  “No need.”

  Nagato’s eyes were open and staring at the ceiling.

  “My body did not suffer significant injury. This space is what must be normalized first.”

  The avalanche of sand came to a halt.

  “I will remove foreign substances and reconstruct the classroom.”

  And before my eyes, classroom 1-5 turned back into the familiar 1-5, back the way it was. Yes. Like watching a tape rewind, it reverted back into the usual classroom.

  The blackboard, the teacher’s desk, and the students’ desks were born from the white sand. Everything was arranged the way it had been when I left the room after school. What am I supposed to say after seeing this? If I hadn’t seen it happen with my own eyes, I would think that it was just well-made CGI.

  Window frames projected from what was only a wall and sections then turned transparent to become glass windows. The setting sun colored Nagato and me a shade of red. Just to make sure, I checked inside my desk. Everything that was supposed to be in there was, just the way I had left it. And all that blood from Nagato that had splattered onto my body had disappeared while I wasn’t paying attention. Impressive. This had to be magic.

  I knelt down next to Nagato, who was still lying on the floor.

  “Are you really OK?”

  I had to admit that I couldn’t see a single scratch on her. And you would expect her uniform to be riddled with holes after being impaled on all those spears, but there wasn’t a single one.

  “Processing power was redirected to data manipulation and transformation. The regeneration of this interface was placed in queue. It is currently running.”

  “Need help?” I asked.

  Unexpectedly, Nagato obediently accepted my outstretched hand. I helped her sit up when…

  “Ah.” Her mouth opened slightly. “I forgot to reconstruct my glasses.”

  “I’d say you look cuter without them. And I’m not really a glasses man.”

  “What is a glasses man?”

  “Nothing. I’m just babbling.”

  “I see.”

  This wasn’t the time for idle conversation. I would later regret not leaving the room as soon as possible, even if it meant leaving Nagato behind.

  The door noisily slid open.

  “For-got my stuff, forgot my stuff—”

  The person who entered the room, singing some song he had made up, was Taniguchi of all people.

  I doubt Taniguchi expected there to be anyone in the classroom at this hour. When he noticed our presence, he froze in his tracks, which was followed by him opening his mouth wide open like an idiot.

  At that moment, I had just begun the process of helping Nagato up. If you looked at that particular still-frame, my position would suggest that I was actually pushing her down.

  “My bad.”

  That was Taniguchi in a serious voice I’d never heard him use before. He then stepped back like a crayfish and ran off without shutting the door. I didn’t even get a chance to chase him.

  “An interesting person,” said Nagato.

  I let out a huge sigh.

  “What do w
e do…?”

  “Leave it to me.” Nagato said this as she rested in my arms, motionless. “I specialize in data manipulation. I have made it so Ryoko Asakura has transferred out of this school.”

  That’s your concern?!

  This wasn’t the time to be joking around. I suddenly shook in astonishment. Now that I stopped to think about it, I had just gone through an incredible experience, hadn’t I? This was no longer about whether or not I believed that wild story, that winding freak-talk of Nagato’s the other day. Though I still found it hard to believe. I was about ready to piss my pants during the incident just now. I really thought I was going to die. If Nagato hadn’t crashed through the ceiling, Asakura would definitely have sent me to meet my maker. After seeing that distorted classroom, Asakura turning into some kind of monster, and Nagato somehow expressionlessly eradicating her, it had been beaten into my mind that everything was real.

  Didn’t that mean that I had no choice but to accept that Nagato was genuinely connected to aliens or whatever?

  On top of that, I was going to end up constantly involved in crazy events at that rate. As I said in the beginning, I just wanted to be a bystander who gets caught up in strange situations. A supporting role would be good enough. But didn’t the current situation make me the main character? I can’t deny that I had wanted to be a character in one of those stories where things like aliens show up. But it was different now that I actually was such a character.

  I’ll be honest; this is a problem.

  I wanted to be one of those side characters who merrily offers occasional advice from the sidelines to the guy who has to directly deal with all the trouble. I wanted this crazy situation, where my life had been targeted by a classmate, to stop at once. I was still quite partial to being alive.

  I spent a brief period dazed and confused, paralyzed in the red-tinted classroom. All the while supporting Nagato’s seemingly weightless body.

  This is… What is this? What am I supposed to think?

  Since I had spaced out for a while, I only now noticed that Nagato had been finished with her regeneration or whatever for quite some time and was currently looking up at me without any expression on her face.

  The next day, Ryoko Asakura didn’t show up for class.

  I suppose that it should have been obvious, but apparently, I was the only one who thought so since homeroom-man Okabe said…

  “Ah—. This concerns Asakura. Due to her father’s work—I also find this rather sudden—she has transferred to another school. I was surprised when I heard this morning. Apparently, they went overseas. Seems like they departed yesterday.”

  And when that really sketchy-sounding story was delivered during homeroom, it was met with “What—?” and “Why—?” from what were mostly girls in an uproar. The guys were whispering about something with their heads together. Teacher-man Okabe also looked like he was deep in thought. Naturally, one particular girl wasn’t going to stay quiet.

  A fist struck my back with a thud.

  “Kyon. Something’s up here.”

  Haruhi Suzumiya, who had completely bounced back, looked at me with shining eyes.

  What do I do? Tell her the truth?

  Actually, Asakura was a colleague of Nagato, who was created by this unknown group called the Data Overmind. And I don’t really know the details, but they had some kind of falling out over whether or not I should be killed. Why kill me? That had something to do with you, Haruhi, and your data or whatever. In the end, she was turned into sand by Nagato. There you have it.

  Like hell I can! It’s not like I even want to. I would prefer to think that it was all one massive hallucination.

  “First, a mysterious transfer student came. Now we have a girl transferring out for no explicable reason. Something’s up here.”

  Should I praise her for her sharp instincts?

  “Didn’t he say it was because of her father’s work?”

  “I don’t buy that weak explanation.”

  “It doesn’t matter if you buy it. That’s the most popular reason people transfer.”

  “But it’s odd. It’s only been one day. Less than a day passed between notice of transfer and moving. What kind of job would that be?”

  “Maybe he didn’t tell his daughter….”

  “That’s impossible. This matter needs some investigation.”

  I abandoned the idea of telling her that her father’s job was just an excuse and they were actually making a secret move during the night. I know all too well that it wasn’t true.

  “The SOS Brigade can’t sit idly by while a school mystery is waiting to be solved!”

  Give me a break.

  Yesterday’s events demanded that I make significant changes. After all, I had been witness to actual supernatural phenomena. If I pretend that it hadn’t actually happened, that would mean I would have to decide if there was something wrong with either my eyes or my mind. Or perhaps there was something wrong with the world. Or maybe this was all just a really long dream.

  And I just couldn’t bring myself to believe that the world would be unrealistic.

  Man. Don’t you think that fifteen years and counting is a bit too early for someone to face a turning point in life?

  Why did I, in my first year in high school, have to consider such philosophical questions as to how the world should be? I shouldn’t have had to think about these things. I’d like it if you didn’t give me more work to do. Since I already had another pending issue to deal with.

  CHAPTER 6

  The pending issue on my mind was another envelope, just like yesterday, in my locker. What was up with that? Was putting letters in lockers the current fad?

  But today’s was considerably different. This second note was no scrap of paper from an anonymous sender. A name was written on the back of the envelope that looked like it belonged on the side of a girls’ manga. And as long as my eyes weren’t mistaken in reading the steady handwriting…

  MIKURU ASAHINA

  … was what it said.

  I swiftly placed the envelope in my blazer pocket and hopped into a stall in the men’s bathroom to open it. Written in the middle of the sheet of stationery adorned with characters out of a girls’ manga was…

  I’LL BE WAITING IN THE CLUB ROOM DURING LUNCH.—MIKURU

  After the ordeal I had gone through yesterday, my view of the world and reality had gone through a complete barrel roll and was currently spinning out of control.

  I hoped to be spared another life-threatening experience if I went to the club room.

  However, I had no choice but to go. The person who sent this was none other than Asahina. While I had no evidence to prove that this letter was actually from her, I didn’t doubt its origins for a second. She seemed just like the kind of person to use such a roundabout method, and the picture of her cheerfully writing on a sheet of cute stationery fits perfectly with her image, right? Plus Nagato was always in the club room during lunch. If something happened, she’d take care of it.

  Don’t call me pathetic. I am just an ordinary male high school student.

  Once fourth period ended and break started, I escaped the class-room without even eating my lunch, before Taniguchi, who’d been giving me meaningful looks, could come talk to me, Kunikida could invite me to eat lunch, or Haruhi could bring up going to the faculty office to find out where Asakura had moved. I quickly moved toward the club room.

  It was still May, yet it already felt like summer. The sun was cheerfully shooting its energy to Earth, as if its furnaces were burning overtime. At this rate, wouldn’t Japan end up being a natural sauna by the time summer came? The elastic band on my underwear was soaked with sweat merely from walking around.

  I was in front of the literary club room before three minutes had passed. I figured I’d knock.

  “Come in!”

  It was indeed Asahina’s voice. No doubt about it. I would never mistake someone else’s voice for Asahina’s. It was really her. Relieved, I wal
ked in.

  Nagato wasn’t there. In fact, Asahina wasn’t even there.

  A woman stood leaning against the window facing the courtyard. A figure with long hair wearing a white blouse and black miniskirt. She was wearing visitor slippers on her feet.

  Her face lit up upon seeing me as she ran over and took my hands in hers.

  “Kyon… It’s been so long.”

  It wasn’t Asahina. It was someone who looked just like Asahina, though. So much that I had to double-check to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. Actually, I didn’t see how it could be anyone else.

  But it wasn’t Asahina. My Asahina wasn’t that tall. Her face wasn’t so mature. The ballooning of her blouse couldn’t have increased in size by thirty percent overnight!

  The person smiling as she held my hands in front of her chest looked to be around twenty or so. She came across differently from Asahina the high schooler. Even so, she and Asahina were like two peas in a pod. In every way.

  “Uh…”

  I was suddenly struck by an idea.

  “Are you Asahina’s… sister?”

  Her eyes narrowed with amusement and her shoulders began shaking. Even her smile looked amused.

  “It’s me, silly,” she said. “The real Mikuru Asahina. But I’m from a later future than the Mikuru Asahina you’re familiar with…. I’ve missed you.”

  I probably looked like an idiot at this point. Yeah, the most acceptable explanation would be that the woman before me was Asahina after a few years had passed. A perfect beauty I could accept as the future version of Asahina.

  “Ah, you don’t believe me, do you?” Asahina, dressed like a secretary, said mischievously. “I’ll prove it to you.”

  She suddenly began unbuttoning her blouse. After undoing the second button, she thrust her cleavage at a very confused me. “Look. I have a star-shaped mole here, right? It isn’t fake. Want to touch it to make sure?”

  There was indeed a mole captivatingly protruding from the upper edge of her left breast. Like a solitary accentuation atop her creamy skin.