Legacy Lost

by Jillian David

  “What the heck, Kerr? You scared me.”

  “Thanks for the laser beam to my brain, sis.” Squinting, he looked up at her. The guy looked like hell, features all drawn, with circles under his eyes.

  Right, because he had been looking after the ranch while she had mind-blowing sex with Eric. Literally mind-blowing, damn it.

  “I didn’t know you were in here. I couldn’t tell. Oh my gosh.” Relief weakened her knees as she leaned against the doorjamb.

  He curled a lip. “Are you drunk? Because you sound kind of crazy.”

  After putting the milk and eggs in the fridge, she sat at the table, only a few feet away from him. No thoughts. No images. “Do me a favor. Think something really mean at me right now.”

  “What?”

  “Do it. Please.”

  Something in her voice must have gotten his attention. He scowled at her and narrowed his eyes. “Can it be anything?”

  “Dude, just come up with something.”

  “Okay. Here.” He screwed up his face. “Did you get it?”

  “I had my filters up and got only a whiff of the anger. Slight headache. Nothing major.”

  “You know I didn’t mean it.”

  Leaning forward, she propped her elbows on the table and rubbed her face, like she wanted to scrub away the last few hours of her life. “Doesn’t matter. I couldn’t detect your actual thoughts. Although I could sense the emotions, I was able to deflect them. That’s all I care about.”

  With eyes that mirrored hers, he studied her. “What happened to you? You look like shit. Or like you’ve lost your best friend.”

  “I . . . um, something happened last night. With Eric.” Damn it, her voice quavered.

  Kerr gripped the coffee mug until his knuckles whitened. “Did he hurt you?”

  “Yes. No. Not really. I don’t know.” She sat up straight. “It’s not his fault.”

  A muscle popped on his jaw, and the waves of anger flowed out from him. She detected the strong emotion like she normally did, and felt the usual headache that her radar caused. The typical emotional pain was almost reassuring. At least she could filter and read his feelings at a normal level.

  Red blotches crept up his neck and onto his jaw.

  Yikes. Kerr mad. Not something one saw every day. After his discharge from the military, she had only caught flashes of his temper. He kept that emotion locked away most of the time.

  He planted both feet, one real and one fake, on the floor. “You need me to go knock some sense into him? Best friend or not, if he did something wrong, I will hit him so hard he’ll be shitting his own teeth.”

  When she opened her mouth, a gut-wrenching sob came out, and she dropped her head to the table.

  With a light thunk, he stood next to her and guided her head into his torso. She clung to her brother as he patted her awkwardly on her shoulder. Poor guy. He’d survived war and life-threatening wounds. Now he had to deal with a crying sister.

  The more he held her, the harder she cried, until the painful jags made her cough and wheeze. Damned lungs. Damned life.

  After a few more minutes, she dried her eyes and took a shuddering breath. “Thanks.” She couldn’t meet his worried gaze. “I’m good now.”

  “Don’t bullshit a bullshitter.” He settled back in his chair. “Want to try again? And yes, business partner or not, killing Eric is still on the table unless you clear his name in the next two minutes.”

  “It’s not his fault. We, um, got close last night.”

  “How close?”

  “Dude. Seriously?”

  He smirked. “So, like, you know each other biblically now?”

  “It sounds weird when you bring religion into the discussion.”

  “About fucking time! Regarding the dirty deed, not the Good Book reference.” He pumped his fist then paused and stared at her. “But you’re not happy. Was he not that great? Did he force you or something?”

  “What? No. He’s . . . something of an overachiever in the . . . sex department. And no, he didn’t force me. We kind of threw ourselves at each other. Feelings were pretty mutual.” No way was she going into sordid details of the steamiest night of her life. “I can’t believe I’m telling you this. You’re my brother, for God’s sake.”

  “Who else do you have to tell?”

  “Good point. So last night, before I went to Eric’s, there was an . . . incident . . . at the grocery store with Wyatt Brand.” She held up her hand as his beet red neck leached of all color. “No harm, no foul; I’m fine. That creep is a lot of hot air. Anyway, I didn’t want to come back here right after that happened, so I, uh, took Eric up on an invitation to stop in at his place.”

  He stuck a thumb in his chest, and it was all she could do not to break that digit. “You’re aware that I can tell you’re leaving out large and probably embarrassing chunks of this story?”

  “You’re getting the information you need to know. Now shut it and let me finish.”

  Propping his jaw on his hand and batting his eyelashes, he said, “So you’re not going to tell me about the no-underwear party?”

  “Kerr. Dude.” She blew a curl off her forehead.

  He leaned back in the chair, smiled, and waved for her to continue.

  She looked at the ceiling. “Well, one thing led to another.”

  “As often happens when one is a visitor at other people’s houses. Happens to me all the time.” He grinned as she flipped him off. “Did you two crazy kids use protection?”

  “Ew. And yes, but so not your business.” She pointed at him. “Look, you mook, do you want to hear the story or not?”

  “Want to,” he said in a sheepish tone. She didn’t buy the puppy dog eyes for a bare second.

  “Good. Now hush. So where were we?”

  “About to have wild monkey sex.”

  Rolling her eyes, she said, “You’re not very helpful, you know.”

  He raised one shoulder.

  “So yes, some interactions did occur and they might have been pretty wonderful.”

  “He is hung like an ox, that guy. Just saying.” He raised his hands. “Communal showers in the army and all. Can’t help but notice.”

  “Okay, coming from you? Gross. And for the last time, stop talking.”

  He grinned. Some help.

  “So after . . . the interactions—”

  “Circus trapeze sex—”

  “We both went to sleep. When I woke up, I had all these voices in my head.”

  “Like you were going crazy?”

  “No, they were his voices. His thoughts. Even in his sleep, I was getting everything running through his brain, at a low level. And when he woke up completely, it was a constant barrage of thoughts and feelings and images. Like drinking water through a fire hose.”

  He leaned forward and frowned. “That’s weird. Really?”

  “Yes, really. Do you even understand how awful it is to know what someone thinks about anything and everything? And specifically what he thought about me?”

  “Kind of depends. Did he think good things about you?”

  “Well, sure, but that’s beside the point. When I kind of went crazy pants on him, his thoughts changed rapidly, and it became obvious he was pissed off and disappointed with me.”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  She pushed back in her chair and flattened her hands on the tabletop. “Obviously, it was a mistake talking with you about this. Thanks for nothing, bro. You’re real sympathetic.”

  “No, no. Sit. Come on, now.” He patted the table. “What I mean is, aren’t you glad that most of his thoughts were of good things?”

  “For now. What do you think will happen when I really piss him off?”

  “He’ll be pissed. Like a normal person.”

  “But I don’t have to hear every other person’s opinion on everything and on me. There’s a reason we call them ‘private thoughts.’ Capisce?”

  He ran a hand through his hair. “Hmm. Wonde
r if he can be taught to control the thoughts as they exit his brain?”

  Blowing a curl off her forehead, she groaned. “Again. Missing the point. He and I are done. Quite frankly, I’m finished with any attempt at a long-term relationship. If this bull is going to happen every time I let myself get close to a guy, count me out.” She knocked on her forehead. “This sucks.”

  “So you’re going to live alone the rest of your life?”

  Tears pricked her eyelids, and she blinked them away. “Actually, that was a thought. My big fear when I came back home tonight was that I would receive thoughts from everyone, not only Eric. Thank God it’s only with him.”

  “But now you can’t be with him because of the . . . fire hose?”

  “Uh huh.”

  “That’s kind of weak.”

  “You suck.”

  “You’re a prima donna.” He took a sip of coffee. “Here you have finally found someone who thinks the world of you and you two do the big nasty and it was fabulous.”

  “Could you refrain from descriptions of your sister’s sex life? Please?”

  “When you two were playing ‘hide the salami,’ did you claw him like an animal? Inquiring minds want to know.”

  Her hand itched to smack that pursed-lip expression off his smug face.

  “Come on.”

  “Ok. Fine. So where was I? Yes, you and Eric do the horizontal mambo and birds are chirping and unicorns are farting rainbows. Everyone is in postcoital bliss. Am I right so far?”

  “Mostly. Could you please never use the term ‘coital’ ever again?”

  “I’ll take it under advisement, but I used it on my online Scrabble last week. Double word score.”

  “Focus!”

  Kerr was pushing every last one of her buttons.

  “Holy telepathy, Batman, do you even understand how many women would kill for this information? Every time a woman asks her man, ‘What are you thinking?’ and gets some bullshit mumbled answer—hell, you’ve gone and fixed that problem. But no. You’re still not happy. Let me understand this situation: You’ve got the Holy Fucking Grail of what your man thinks and you’re mad about it?” He scrubbed at his face. “Have you lost your mind?”

  “Number one, I have never asked to know what men think. It probably has to do with whatever’s on ESPN, their balls, and women’s breasts.”

  “In defense of the average male, it’s not usually in that order.”

  “Ugh. Number two, I never waxed poetic about how awesome it would be. And number three, how the hell do you presume to know what makes women happy?”

  “Ouch. Careful there, sis. I might be missing part of my leg, but my guy parts work fine, thanks.”

  “All right then.” She waved her hand. “Tell me, how are you so well informed when it comes to women?”

  “When I was in rehab for those months, I watched way too much Dr. Phil.” He whispered, “That Phil guy isn’t even a doctor, you know.”

  “Thought some of the BS sounded familiar.”

  “The guy’s a genius. You should pay attention. Changed my life.”

  A sad, inappropriate giggle bubbled up from deep inside her gut. Like carbonation, it tickled her nose and lifted her spirits until she and Kerr tried to keep the noise down as they laughed their butts off for five minutes. After she recovered, she stood and hugged him around the neck.

  “You’re going to make a good spouse someday.”

  “You, too, if you can keep your head out of your ass.” He patted her arm. “Look, why don’t you rest for a few hours then help me pack this morning? Eric has to go to Jackson and pick up the hunters at the airport, so he won’t be here until noon. Then we’ll be out of your hair. You can test the waters again with him before we leave.”

  Rolling her eyes, she groaned. “That sounds like fun. Not.” She cut off his protest. “But your point is well taken.”

  “He’s good people.”

  “I know.”

  “You’re good people, too, sis. You deserve happiness.”

  “Don’t we all, bro.”

  She trudged up the stairs to collapse in her bed.

  Alone.

  Chapter 21

  Aside from the fact that it felt like he’d had his own heart cut out and fed to him raw, Eric was doing super-duper great this frigid fucking morning. He steered the truck on the two-lane highway through Bridger-Teton National Forest between Jackson and Copper River. The guests were nice enough guys, more city slicker than rugged hunters, but he and Kerr would make sure the men had a terrific time and bagged game, even with it being the tail end of the season.

  He stared at the sky. Low clouds. Likely snow coming. Bad conditions and Eric wallowing in a foul mood. What a great combination for success.

  Trying to focus on the question from one of the men in the back of the king cab, he answered, “We’re going to a medium altitude site for our base camp. Easy enough to get into this time of year, especially since there’s not a lot of snow yet. But we’ll have the flexibility to go high or low, depending on where the deer are.”

  “How about hot meals?” The man typed away on his laptop.

  Eric plastered a smile on his face. “Nothing but the finest camp cooking from Kerr and myself.”

  “Bet the ladies love that you can cook, huh?” The guy chuckled.

  “Among other things,” he managed to reply.

  Everyone laughed. Except for Eric.

  He turned down the long road to the ranch, pointing out a few mountains nearby and the main ranch house, the small temporary barn, and the half-constructed new main barn. They pulled up next to the large horse trailer, and the men jumped out.

  “Nice place here.” The blogger whistled.

  “It’s Kerr’s family’s spread. They all live here, and there’re kids and ladies around. So no cussing, please.” Because it wasn’t Eric’s house. Wasn’t his family, either. But despite getting his ass handed to him by one of the inhabitants, still, he would protect all of it like his own.

  The blogger eyed the house. “Any good-looking ladies?”

  “They’re all spoken for,” Eric gritted out.

  Kerr appeared from the side of the horse trailer. “Gentlemen.” He shook hands and Eric did the introductions. Pulling down the tailgate of Eric’s truck, he opened a map and pointed. “Here’s where we are going for the next several days. We’ll take a little over a half hour to drive up to the drop-off point and then go by horse another hour to base camp.” He paused. “From there, it’s up to you and the wildlife what happens next.”

  “This is going to be great,” the blogger said, eyes avid, reaching for his gun case.

  Kerr stepped smoothly between the man and the case, taking it from the guy’s hands and setting it down in the truck bed. “Once we reach the drop-off point, we’ll take some time and help you sight in the guns. If there’s time tonight once we get to base camp, we can try a short trip for an hour at dusk.”

  “Great. Let’s go,” the men said.

  “Eric, if you could grab the cooler from the kitchen, we should be all ready to go.”

  Damn his friend. The last place Eric wanted to go was inside the ranch house. But it wasn’t like he could ask Kerr to lug the cooler himself, with the bad leg and all.

  What if Eric saw Shelby?

  Was he sorry or mad? Hell if he knew. That woman had him wrapped around her finger and tied into knots at the same time. And he hadn’t been able to get her out of his head for the past twelve hours. He didn’t trust himself to think clearly around her. He didn’t trust what he would say.

  He trudged up the three stairs to the back door and opened it.

  The scent of simmering soup, apple pie, and mountain air hit him right as she spun around.

  He half expected her to run and jump into his arms, judging by the hope reflected in those wide eyes and raised eyebrows.

  Then her face fell. She backed as far away from him as possible and set down the ladle. A wary frown creased her brows
.

  “I’m sorry—” she whispered.

  “Me too. For everything.”

  She opened her mouth, setting off all sorts of inappropriate memories about what had been in that hot, sweet mouth the night before.

  Her cheeks and neck turned a wild shade of red, and her breathing sped up.

  “Are you really picking up what I’m thinking? Or did you just make the story up to get rid of me?” he asked.

  “I can hear everything.” Her voice came out tight, strangled.

  “All of it?”

  “Yeah. Good and bad.”

  “Um. So?” He crossed the room in a few strides. Then he stopped a foot away from her.

  She looked like a deer about to bolt, backed against the kitchen counter. The image sparked ideas of what he’d like to do back at his place. God knew the possibilities were endless.

  Gasping, she held her hands out. “Stop.”

  “Shit. You can actually hear and see what I’m thinking?”

  “Yes.”

  A man who had nothing to lose, he went for broke. “Do you, um, like what you see?” He pointed at his head.

  The flush crept onto her cheeks. “Well, yeah. But that’s not the point.”

  “I’d love to make all of it come true. With you.” He glanced down at the floor, then cut back to her eyes. “Unless the ideas scare you, or they’re too, um, rough?”

  “The roughness isn’t the problem.” Her damp lips parted and a need to taste her mouth tilted his equilibrium. “It’s too much information. The thoughts kind of take over my brain.”

  His jaw dropped open. “You weren’t just trying to get out of the situation last night?”

  “No. God, of course not.” Her pupils dilated. “I would have loved to stay and do . . . more.” She crossed her arms and rested a hand against the base of her neck.

  “But it hurts you?” Shit, he’d been such an idiot to think this problem was all about him. His gut twisted into a wretched knot. The glistening in her eyes told the truth.

  The corners of her sexy mouth dropped. “Having your thoughts running front and center in my head? It pushes me away. I’m nowhere. I get squeezed out. I disappear.”

  “Geezus. Wow. You think we can fix this?”

  Her chin quivered. “You still want to try with . . . us?” She blinked. “Because I believe you kicked me out of your house.”