BULL (The Buck Boys Heroes Book 1)

by Deborah Bladon

  “Is Lloyd all right?” I question as I swallow back a sob. “Is he going to be okay?”

  “I’m not sure.” He steps closer to me. “After you left earlier, he wasn’t feeling well. He had trouble catching his breath.”

  This is my fault. All of this is my fault. I upset Lloyd, and this is the result.

  “Why don’t you head up there?” He shoves two cups filled with coffee at me. “I ran down to the cafeteria to get these. I’m sure Mr. Locke would prefer to see your face instead of mine right now.”

  I’m not as sure as he is, but I push everything that happened earlier aside. I have to face this and my husband. If by chance, I’m granted a moment with Mr. Abdon before he passes, I need to apologize to him again and thank him for giving me the job I had.

  It gave me the man I love, and even if we don’t have a future, I was married for a brief time to the one person on this planet who owns my heart.

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  Graham

  I step out of Lloyd’s room even though all I want to do is shake him awake.

  I know that Dr. Morgan will take the lead when it comes to convincing Lloyd that he needs the stent procedure, but I’m going to be chiming in.

  I want Lloyd to live.

  I want to know more about his son. I want to go to that scattering ground with him and just sit.

  He needs to know that he’s not alone. He’s got me, and I hope to hell he has Trina.

  I tug my phone out of my pocket.

  I was warned not to use my phone on this ward. The nurse who wagged her finger at me told me to silence it. I did, but a glance through my missed calls and text messages tells me my wife hasn’t tried to contact me.

  “Dammit,” I say, not giving a shit if the nurse overhears me. “Where are you, Trina?”

  “I’m here.”

  I don’t know if I’m fucking dreaming or not, but I turn at the sound of that soft voice.

  “Graham,” my wife says my name, and suddenly my world feels centered. “I’m so sorry.”

  I go to her. I don’t care that she has two cups of coffee in her hands. I wrap my arms around her and hold her against me.

  Then, I sob into her neck.

  I cry for the pain I see on her face.

  I cry for the tears streaming down her cheeks, and I cry for the man in bed who gave me my life.

  He rescued me from the downward spiral I was in.

  He sent me to a school where I met my best friends, and he gave me a job working alongside him.

  The entire time he was helping me, he was burdened with a grief so profound it almost destroyed him. Then, another layer was added to that when he lost his wife.

  “How…how is Mr. Abdon?” Trina stutters out.

  I step back and grab both cups of coffee from her. “Come with me. He’s asleep, but I know he’ll want to see you when he wakes up.”

  Her hand on my forearm stalls me. “He won’t. Something happened earlier. I don’t know how much he told you.”

  “None of it,” I say. “All I know is that he had your wedding rings. Please, Trina, come with me and tell me what’s going on.”

  As another tear falls onto her cheek, she nods. “I’ll tell you all of it.”

  Trina stands next to Lloyd’s hospital bed, staring down at him. “This is all my fault. He’s going to die because of me.”

  I wrap my arms around her from behind to still her. She’s shaking through a series of sobs.

  “He’s not going to die, Trina,” I reassure her. “He needs a procedure. Once that’s done, the doctor told me there’s a strong chance that Lloyd will live for years.”

  She spins around to face me. “What?”

  I skim a hand over her cheek to brush away her tears. “There’s a partial blockage in one of the arteries that lead to his heart. He needs a cardiac stent to open it back up.”

  “Then he’ll be okay?” her voice holds as much hope as her eyes.

  I see what I feel when I look at her, relief and trust that what the doctor said is true. Lloyd isn’t going anywhere. He’s going to be a part of our lives for years to come.

  I want Trina to be a part of my life forever, so I glance down at her hand. “Why did Lloyd have your wedding rings?”

  She bites her bottom lip. “This isn’t the time to talk about this, Graham. I don’t think I should be here when he wakes up. I upset him.”

  She tugs free of my grasp and heads toward the door.

  I’m on her heel before she makes it halfway there. I grab hold of her arm. “Stop, Trina. Please. I need to understand what the hell happened today.”

  Her head drops. “He went to the bakery to get a chocolate cake. He spoke to my mom about us. She told him he was wrong about us being married. She told him where I really live, Graham. He knew our marriage was fake.”

  I move around until I’m standing in front of her. “He confronted you about all of this?”

  Her head shakes. “I went home…to the penthouse to see if I could explain things since you were in that meeting. It didn’t go well.”

  “What happened?”

  Her gaze meets mine, and I see defeat there. I see a broken spirit and endless sorrow swimming in her eyes. “He told me about your past. He told me about your mom.”

  I swallow back the pain that always hits me when I think of that day. It was the day I woke on the subway to find my mother gone. I never saw her again.

  “Mr. Abdon was angry.” She tugs on the sleeve of her blouse. “He assumed our fake marriage was your idea. I could see how much that pained him, so I told him I had come up with the plan. I explained that I suggested we get married and that I was the one who negotiated the payout.”

  “Trina.”

  She steps closer to me to cup her hands over my cheeks. “He loves you, Graham. I could see how much it hurt him that we had deceived him, so I wanted to spare you both that. It’s better this way. I can walk away, and you can rebuild the bond you share with him.”

  It’s so fucking admirable and selfless that I tear up for the goddamn umpteenth time today.

  “Is that what you want?” I ask her bluntly. “Do you want a divorce, Trina? Do you want this to be over?”

  She stands tall even though tears are streaming down her cheeks. “I want you to be happy. I want you to have Mr. Abdon in your life.”

  I stare into her stormy blue eyes. “What do you want? I want to know what you really want and don’t make it about me, Trina. Be selfish. Tell me what would make you happy.”

  Her bottom lip quivers. “I can’t say.”

  “Say it.” I hear the plea in my tone. “I feel it. I just need you to say it. You were going to tell me tonight during our special dinner. I know you were.”

  “You were going to say it too,” she says.

  Her hands leap up to cup my wrists as I hold her face.

  We stare at each other like that, each knowing what this moment means for us.

  “I love you,” I confess. “With everything I am, I fucking love you, Trina.”

  “I love you,” she finally says the words to me. “I want to be your wife. I want that more than anything.”

  “We’ll get married again.” I kiss the corner of her mouth. “The right way this time with your family and Lloyd. He’ll play the harmonica at the reception.”

  She nods. “I’ll sign anything Morty No-Last-Name needs me to sign.”

  I laugh. “You don’t need to sign a thing. You need to dance with me at our wedding and every anniversary party we’re going to have.”

  She kisses my chin. “And we’ll have a baby or two?”

  “At least.” I laugh. “We’ll teach them how to love. We’ll take them to the beach and cook hot dogs over an open fire…”

  “And dip our toes in the water?”

  “We’ll help them grow into good people.”

  “Like us?” she asks.

  “I haven’t always been a good person,” I confess. “I did things when I was youn
g. I stole. I got into fights. I talked back.”

  “We all make mistakes, Graham.” She looks me in the eye. “You’ve grown into an incredible, honorable man.”

  “I want to be a man that my wife can be proud of.”

  She presses her lips to mine for a soft kiss. “I am extremely proud of you, Graham Locke.”

  “I am too.”

  We both turn at the sound of Lloyd’s voice.

  “Lloyd?” Graham darts toward the bed. “You’re awake.”

  Lloyd reaches up to trail a hand over the oxygen tube running into his nose. “I’m still here?”

  “You’re not going anywhere.” Graham smiles. “We need you too much.”

  “Trina,” Mr. Abdon says my name softly. “Come here. Come closer.”

  I do as he asks and take a place standing next to Graham.

  “I’m sorry.” Lloyd looks at me. “I had no idea that you two had fallen in love.”

  “You heard us talking?” Graham asks. “You heard all of that?”

  “Every word,” he acknowledges with a curt nod before he looks at Graham. “Your wife took the blame to save our relationship, Bull. She did that for you.”

  Graham scoops his hand around my waist. “I married the most incredible woman in the world, and as soon as you’re back on your feet, we’re having the wedding we never had.”

  “You don’t have to hold off on my account.”

  Graham leans down to smooth a hand over Mr. Abdon’s forehead. “We sure as hell do. You’re my best man. I need you beside me when I marry my wife.”

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  Trina

  “I grew up in foster care.” Graham glances at me as we wait in the corridor for Dr. Morgan to finish examining and speaking with Lloyd. “I aged out while in care. I was technically in the care of a couple at that time, but Lloyd and his wife paid for my tuition at The Buchanan School. I spent my summer and winter breaks working and splitting my time between my friends’ homes. Sometimes, I’d stay with Lloyd and Sela for a few nights. Occasionally, I’d head back over to my foster parents’ house to crash, but I lost touch with them over the years. I didn’t have a real home or a family.”

  I step closer to him, so that I can wrap both my arms around him. “You do now. You have Lloyd and me. You’re also an important part of the Shaw family even though most of them don’t know it yet.”

  “You think your family is going to like me?”

  I smile as I study his handsome face. “They will. I told my mom that I love you.”

  That earns me a deep kiss.

  “Wow,” I whisper when our lips part. “That was something else.”

  “You told your mom about me?” His face lights up. “Today?”

  “Or yesterday?” I shrug. “I don’t know what time it is, and I don’t care.”

  “For once, I don’t either.” He laughs.

  I trail a finger over his jaw. “You were afraid to tell me about your past. Why? Did you think I wouldn’t understand?”

  He scratches the side of his nose. “I was ashamed.”

  “You were put in a position no child should ever be in.”

  His lips brush against my forehead. “That’s never an excuse for bad behavior. I met dozens of other kids who were in foster care too. I doubt like hell any of them did the shit I did. I broke into Abdons trying to find something to pawn for money to run away.”

  “To run away from your foster home?”

  He glances toward the closed door of Lloyd’s room. “My grandma lived in Philadelphia. I thought if I could get to her, she’d want to take me in.”

  My heart aches for the boy he used to be. I can’t imagine feeling that alone. When I was growing up, I’d wish for moments alone, but I rarely got them. I’m grateful for that now. I didn’t know how incredibly lucky I was to be surrounded by so much love.

  “After I was arrested, Lloyd dropped the charges, but I had a sit-down with Peggy before I was released.”

  “Peggy? Judge Mycella? The judge who married us?”

  “Yes.” He smiles. “She worked in family court back then. She was the one who told me my grandmother wanted nothing to do with me.”

  “I’m sorry, Graham.” I step closer to him. “I’m so sorry.”

  He drops his gaze. “Lloyd and Sela turned my life around. I was fifteen when we met. I don’t know where I’d be today if it weren’t for them.”

  “Lloyd is a good man,” I reiterate.

  Graham glances at me. “He’s the best man I’ve ever known.”

  “You’re like a son to him.”

  He shoves a hand through his hair. “I found out tonight that Lloyd had a son who died.”

  My gaze searches his face. “What?”

  “The doctor let it slip.” He locks eyes with me. “He said that Lloyd has been going to a memorial park in New Jersey to visit the spot where he scattered the ashes of his wife and his son.”

  “I didn’t know,” I whisper.

  “Neither did I.”

  “He needs us, Graham.” I take both his hands in mine. “He needs us to help him. We are his family.”

  “We are,” he agrees. “Thank you for agreeing to marry me, Trina Shaw. You’ve brought so much to my life and Lloyd’s life.”

  “Trina Locke,” I correct him. “First thing tomorrow morning, I’m going to start the process to change my name to Trina Locke legally.”

  I glance down when my phone vibrates in my hand. The nurse warned me to turn it off, but I wanted to keep it on if Aurora or Eldon needed me.

  Graham and I just watched Lloyd being taken to the operating room. He agreed to the procedure and to whatever else he needs to do to get better.

  Now, it’s a waiting game.

  Dr. Morgan assured us the procedure wouldn’t take long and that he’d have Lloyd back in his room once he spent some time in recovery.

  “Is everything all right?” Graham asks from where he’s standing next to me.

  “I brought my friend to the emergency department earlier.” I sigh. “She wasn’t feeling well.”

  “You brought her into the ER here? Is she okay?”

  “She found out tonight that she’s pregnant,” I tell him. “She’s being discharged. Her boyfriend is texting me to ask if I want to see her before they leave the hospital.”

  Graham reaches for my hand. “Let’s go.”

  “We should wait here for Lloyd.” I don’t move. “I think we need to be here in case Dr. Morgan has to talk to you.”

  He shakes his head. “I think Lloyd’s procedure will go off without a hitch. Let’s go see your friend.”

  I nod. “Can we do one thing first?”

  “Anything.” He perks a brow. “Do you want to find a supply closet for a not-so-quickie?”

  Tapping my left hand on his chest, I laugh. “I want that, but the nurse will ban us from the hospital forever.”

  His gaze falls to my hand. “I think I know what you want.”

  Before I can say it, he’s dropped to one knee in the middle of the corridor.

  A collective gasp escapes the three nurses behind the desk.

  “Trina, my beautiful wife. Please do me the honor of being my partner in life.” His hand dives into his pocket to retrieve both rings. “Stay married to me forever. Have children with me. Let me do whatever I can to help you live the life you are meant to live. Let me love you every second of every hour of every day until we leave this earth.”

  Applause erupts before I can even say yes.

  But I do.

  I nod, yell out my answer, and cry as my husband slips my rings back on my finger before he dips me into a breathtaking kiss.

  Chapter Fifty-Six

  Graham

  My wife has her rings back on her finger. My heart belongs to her. Lloyd is in surgery, and I’m on my way to meet Trina’s friends.

  I don’t know how this night can get better, but it will.

  Once Lloyd is back in his room and settled, I plan on ta
king Trina home.

  I’ll carry her over the threshold, drop her in bed and keep her there for hours.

  I don’t know how it’s possible that I’ve become this fortunate.

  I’m a lucky bastard, and I’ll never forget it.

  As we wait for the elevator to take us to the ED, Trina glances at me. “You got that tattoo on your arm to cover your bull tattoo, didn’t you?”

  Lloyd must have spilled those beans earlier, but I’m not mad.

  My life is an open book now. I want Trina to know everything there is to know about me.

  “I got the bull tattoo when I was thirteen.”

  “Is that legal?”

  “Not even a little bit.” I laugh. “I was placed in a home with another kid who was seventeen. He knew a guy who did tattoos in the back of a pancake restaurant.”

  She holds in a laugh. “That should have been your first clue that it was a bad idea.”

  “You think?” I quip. “Anyways, I gave him forty bucks, and he gave me a tattoo that I thought was cool at the time.”

  She purses her lips. “I’d give almost anything to see that bull tattoo.”

  The elevator dings signaling its arrival on our floor, so I lean close and press my lips to her ear. “Blow me, and I’ll show you a picture.”

  She turns to lock her eyes on mine. “Deal.”

  I trail her as she boards the elevator and presses the button for the main floor. “Being married to you is the best adventure I’ve ever had, Graham. I can’t wait for the future.”

  I reach for her hand, draw it up to my lips and kiss it. “Being married to you is the greatest gift I’ve ever been given.”

  “I’m Eldon Breckton.” A brown-haired guy in a police officer’s uniform shakes my hand. “It’s good to meet you, sir.”

  I may have a few years on him, but I don’t fall into that category. “It’s Graham. Call me Graham.”

  He gives me a curt nod before he shifts his attention back to Trina. “Thanks again for bringing her in.”