Easily Amused

by McQuestion, Karen

I ignored her questions and smacked back a few of my own. “So what are you two doing together? And why did you go around to the back? Most people use the front door.”

  “We tried the front,” Ryan said apologetically. I noticed for the first time that he held a carafe of what looked like fresh blood. “No one answered. And then your sister thought you might be sitting out in the backyard since it’s such a lovely day.” He flashed me that soul-melting smile. Today he wore a dark blue polo shirt. My father had one just like it, but on Ryan it looked anything but paternal.

  “And you came together?” It was half question, half statement.

  Mindy was grinning deviously. Catching me in a compromising position with Hubert was like something she’d have orchestrated in her dreams.

  “I was going to come over anyway.” Ryan held out the carafe. “I overheard some ladies chatting on the sidewalk in front of my house. They were talking about Hubert’s adventures at the bar last night, and I thought this might help him feel better.”

  I took it from him and gave it the once-over. “Is he supposed to drink this?”

  “It’s my own hangover cure,” he explained. “Tomato juice and Tabasco sauce and a few other ingredients I can’t reveal. Some things just have to remain secret.”

  “Well, thank you.” I went and put the carafe in the fridge alongside all of the other indescribable neighborhood offerings. Food, food everywhere, but nothing much to eat. “That’s very thoughtful of you.” I turned back to face both of them, pleased with myself for being so cool.

  “Mindy pulled up as I was crossing the street to your house,” he said, as if anticipating my next question. “We just ran into each other.”

  “You were coming to see me?” I asked her. That would be a first. Mindy dropping by to visit and doing it alone. My sister never went places by herself if she could help it. In high school, she was one of those girls who traveled in packs. As she got older, the number of hangers-on dwindled, but she was rarely seen without either Jessica or Chad at her side.

  “No, I didn’t come to see you,” she said, kind of meanly I thought. “I was going to Ryan’s. I thought I might have left my sunglasses in his car. I haven’t been able to find them since last night, and I’ve been squinting all day. I don’t want to wind up being one of those thirty-year-olds with the little wrinkles next to their eyes.”

  She left her sunglasses in his car? What? Something definitely smelled bad, and I was picking up an uncomfortable vibe from Ryan. It was subtle, just a shifting of posture while he studied my face for a reaction, but it was unmistakable. I kept my tone steady, less accusatory than curious. To Ryan, I said, “Why would her sunglasses be in your car?”

  Ryan waved a hand—oh that. “Lola, I didn’t get a chance to tell you how last night turned out after you left us. We had a very nice time talking over dessert. You were greatly missed, of course, but Mindy told me some stories from your growing up years, so you were with us in spirit.”

  Oh God, I could only imagine which stories she chose. No doubt the one about the time I was in my grandparents’ bathroom and couldn’t get out, no matter how many times I jiggled the temperamental door lock. My dad had to get a ladder and come in through the second-story window to free me. He himself had a heck of a time getting the lock to unlatch, so it was hardly my fault. Still, Mindy loved that story, especially since she’d been in the bathroom five minutes earlier and had no problem with the lock. And she was five years old at the time, compared to my ten, as she liked to remind me.

  “And then,” Ryan continued, “Brad had to leave.”

  “Chad,” Mindy corrected.

  “Right, Chad.” Ryan nodded. “Chad had to leave. Something about a TV show he had to see. We had just gotten our after-dinner drinks, so instead of rushing, Mindy suggested I just drive her home.”

  There were so many holes in this story I didn’t know where to begin. First off, what was Mindy, my engaged-to-be-married sister, doing out with my pseudo-fiancé? What nerve—had she no sense of decency? OK, she didn’t know Ryan and I were engaged yet, but she thought we’d been dating since I first moved to King Street, which was going on five months. Five months I had in this relationship, and she felt entitled to mack on my guy?

  Not to mention the old sunglasses trick. If she was going to make up a lie, it should at least make sense. “So you thought you left your sunglasses in his car. And you were wearing them at night, why? To cut the glare of the pitch black?”

  My questions caught her off guard, but she recovered quickly. “Of course I wasn’t wearing them. I thought they might have fallen out of my purse.”

  “They weren’t in my car.” Ryan held his hands up—search me. “I don’t remember seeing them at all.”

  I had one more inquiry. “What TV show did Chad want to see?” Nothing was on Friday nights. Everyone knew that.

  “Aren’t you just full of questions today?” Mindy said. She tucked an errant curl behind her ear and tilted her head to one side. She probably thought it was a cute look, but it just made her head look lopsided.

  Ryan’s gaze ping-ponged between us. “I really have to get going,” he said, looking uneasy. “I just wanted to drop off my cure for your friend.”

  “You’re leaving so soon?” Mindy said. “I was just thinking we should round up Hubert and the four of us could do something.”

  Ryan smiled in my direction, and I felt my irritation drift away. “I have some contracts and work e-mails to get through, but I should be free by tomorrow, Lola, if that works for you. I’ll give you a call.” He gave Mindy a cursory nod. “Nice meeting you again. I’ll see you at your wedding.”

  I took his arm and guided him toward the living room. “You can use the front door like a real guest. Mindy can go out the back.” I gave her a glare that I hoped conveyed, “Stay here,” but she followed us through the house. After twenty-five years of avoiding me, suddenly she craved sisterly closeness. “Mindy,” I said, “if you’ll just wait here, I want to talk to Ryan.” She didn’t say anything, just made her famous Mindy pout. If she didn’t watch it, she was going to need Botox for those little lines around her mouth. Any day now she was going to wake up and find them permanently etched.

  I pulled my front door shut. “I’ll walk you home, if you don’t mind.”

  Ryan looked amused. “But what if the neighbors see?”

  “Trust me, they’ll see,” I said. “There are eyes everywhere on this street. Nothing gets past them.” I pointed to Myra’s house next door. “Those garden gnomes are actually secret agents in disguise.” I waved to the end of the block. “And Belinda’s dogs are equipped with special smelling capabilities.”

  “Aren’t most dogs?”

  “Not like these dogs. They can smell farther, faster, and more accurately than any canines on the planet.”

  Ryan leaned over so his face was close to mine. “This is fascinating. I’ve lived here for years and thought it was just a nice neighborhood on a quiet street. In only a few months, you’ve figured out what it’s really all about.” He rested his hand against my back. “Please tell me more.”

  “Over at the Chos’,” I said, with a gesture to my left, “every member of their large clan is capable of doing tae kwon do with such ferocity—”

  “Is ferocity a word?”

  “I do believe so, yes, but I can say fierceness if that works better for you.”

  “Either way.”

  “Anyway, every man, woman, and child Cho can bring a healthy man to his knees in a matter of seconds, so we never have to worry about criminals on this street.”

  “Even the Cho children?”

  “Even little Cindy Lou, who is not more than two.”

  “You’re making this up.”

  “No, it’s all true.”

  “We shall proceed very carefully then.” He slid his hand around my waist. I thought guiltily of the last time I experienced the same feeling—ten minutes before with Hubert. I put the thought out of my mind. That wa
s a fluke. A girl would have to be completely incompetent to spend ten years looking for her soul mate only to wind up with her best friend from seventh grade. “Better hold tight. I’ll protect you in case of a speeding ice cream truck or sudden tornado.” As we crossed, Ryan looked up and down the length of the block like a preschooler following directions. “I think we’re safe.”

  “That’s what they want you to think.”

  When we reached his front steps, he said, “Now are we out of harm’s way?”

  “I think so.” Oddly enough, none of the neighbors were outdoors at the moment, and there wasn’t a car in sight. But that didn’t mean we weren’t being watched. For once I hoped we were. I leaned against the railing of his covered porch. Crazy Myra’s house was directly opposite, and my place was to the right. My house looked stately and impressive. The lawn needed mowing, but that was a minor point. “This is kind of interesting, seeing my house from this angle.”

  “Welcome to my view of the world.” Ryan half sat on the railing next to me. “The two of us, alone at last.”

  “I really wanted to talk to you without Mindy around,” I said. “First off, I have to apologize for her. She’s always been a flirt, but considering she’s getting married in three weeks, she was way out of bounds.”

  “Actually, considering I’m dating her sister, she was way out of bounds.”

  His words made my heart soar with relief. I looked at his beautiful face, so calm and concerned, and wondered, What would it be like to kiss this man? Which led me to the second thing I needed to mention. “I’m glad you understand about Mindy. I also wanted to bring up Hubert. I know you saw us kissing, and—”

  “You don’t owe me an explanation. We’ve only gone out a few times.”

  Actually it was two times, but I liked that he said a few—it felt like he’d given me a promotion. I flexed my fingers nervously, preparing for what to say. “I still would like to get this out in the open. Yes, we were kissing, but I still consider Hubert to be just a friend.” A really good friend, who just happened to be a great kisser. “He’s gone through a lot lately, and one thing led to another. We were having a moment. I know how it looked, and I can’t really explain it myself, but I know it won’t happen again.” I looked up to see him grinning broadly.

  “You’re so cute when you’re worried,” he said. “Everything’s fine, Lola. Don’t sweat it.”

  “Really?”

  “Absolutely. Nothing is a problem. Not your flaky sister or your needy friend. Everybody has people baggage in their life. Trust me, yours is not a big deal. I’ve seen far worse.”

  “Whew. I’m so relieved.”

  “I understand how it goes. I have my share too.”

  “There’s another thing,” I said. I’d gone this far—I might as well take it all the way home. “I’ve been thinking about my sister’s wedding and your generous offer to be my stand-in fiancé.”

  “Yes?” His eyes crinkled at the corners in an adorable way.

  “I know I said I didn’t want to go through with it, but I’ve changed my mind. Are you still willing to come to the wedding and play along?”

  “Lola, are you asking me to marry you?”

  I grinned. “Yes, I am.”

  He pressed his hands to his cheeks in mock surprise and spoke in a high-pitched voice like a Southern belle. “Oh, this is so unexpected. I mean, I hoped you’d ask, but I never dreamed you actually would.” He fanned a hand over his face. “I just can’t believe I’m going to be Mr. Lola Watson. Wait until I tell my friends.”

  “OK already.” I laughed. “Will you do it?”

  “It would be my pleasure.”

  “You’ll have to talk to my relatives. And some of them are annoying. Really annoying.”

  “That won’t be a problem. Relatives love me.”

  At that moment, I loved him. What a good sport and all-around great guy. “This makes me so happy, I can’t even tell you. I’m glad it’s all set and everything’s fine.”

  He stood up straight and pulled me away from the railing so I was facing him. “Of course everything’s fine. We’re fine. We’re more than fine.”

  “Good. I’m glad you feel that way.”

  “You know, Lola.” I loved the way he said my name—so melodic. “I’ve been thinking a lot about how we met. I was lying in bed last night wondering—what are the chances I’d be in that financial advisor’s office at the same time as your friend? And what are the chances Piper would approach me, of all people, with your dilemma? And then, even more unbelievable, what are the odds we’d hit it off so well and wind up living on the same street? It’s all so incredible. I’m thinking it’s more than coincidence.” He ran his finger along the edge of my cheek. “I’m thinking it’s fate.”

  My heart sped up as he smiled down on me. I was vaguely aware of the yapping of a dog across the street and the roar of a weed whacker down the block, but the sounds were way outside my circle of interest. The only people in the world who mattered were standing on Ryan’s porch.

  He leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Lola, destiny has brought us together,” and then he kissed my neck right below my ear.

  I felt a shiver of pleasure until it registered that he’d used the word “destiny.” The reference always reminded me of George McFly’s botched line in Back to the Future: “Lorraine, my density has brought you to me.” It was one of the movie lines Hubert and I sometimes quoted to each other. Between that and the fact that his lips tickled my throat, I found myself wanting to laugh. I tried to hold it in, but despite my efforts I began to make a sound that could only be described as a stifled chortle. Not good.

  He pulled away and gave me a puzzled look. “That wasn’t the reaction I usually get.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, gasping for breath. “It’s not you, it’s me. I’m really very ticklish. It felt nice, really, it was just that spot.”

  “Oh.” He smiled and waited for me to regain control.

  I took a deep breath. “Honestly, I’m so sorry.” I made a concerted effort to breathe in and out and not laugh. Once I regained my composure, he leaned in again with his mouth still in a smile, like a vampire in a movie. I braced myself, hoping he’d pick a less sensitive area this time, and I was happy to see he was aiming for my mouth, prime real estate for kissing. The man had a quick learning curve.

  Ryan was a little taller than Hubert and had to lean over more, making me wish I was less height-deprived or that we were sitting down, but I wasn’t in a position to negotiate. He matched his mouth to mine, and I’d just closed my eyes when—

  “Evening, folks.”

  The unmistakable voice of Brother Jasper. Yesterday a savior, today an irritant.

  Ryan and I stopped the kiss-in-progress and turned to look at Brother Jasper standing on the sidewalk across from us.

  “Good evening,” Ryan said, pulling out the social graces so smoothly you’d never know such an important moment had just been completely ruined. “Lovely weather today.”

  “It certainly is. I was just heading over to the Chos’ for dinner and was wondering if I’d see you there, Lola?”

  “No, Hubert’s not up for it.” It was awkward holding a conversation from twelve feet away. I wasn’t about to move any closer, though. “Ben Cho dropped off kimchi and some other dishes for us, though. We’re really looking forward to it.”

  “Hubert’s better, I hope?” Classic Brother Jasper, always concerned for others. If only he’d do it somewhere else.

  “Oh, much better, thank you. I’ll tell him you asked.”

  Ryan said, “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you last night. I wasn’t expecting to see you, obviously.”

  “That’s fine,” Brother Jasper reassured him. “I was surprised to see you, as well, if we’re being completely honest.” He wagged his finger back and forth. “I had no idea you two knew each other.”

  “Oh, we know each other all right.” Ryan ran his hand up and down my back. “And we’re getting
to know each other better all the time.”

  Could we wrap this thing up? “Thanks for stopping by,” I said. “Give the Chos my regards.”

  “I will.” Brother Jasper raised a hand as if to wave good-bye, but then he seemed to think better of it. “You know, Lola, when you get a chance, do you think you could stop over some time? I’d like to talk to you about a few things.”

  Please not the block party again. Or even worse, the neighborhood watch committee. “Is something wrong?”

  “It’s just—” He paused and gave me a half smile. “I’ve lived here for a very long time, and I have a few cautionary tales.”

  “OK,” I said, still not clear, but wanting to be rid of him. “Tomorrow maybe?”

  “That would be fine.”

  On the sidewalk across the street, Belinda was being led by one of her dogs—the one named Roger, if I remembered correctly. Hubert would have known for sure. The dog strained at the leash and pulled with such force she could barely keep up. “Hello, neighbors!” she called out as she approached. “See you at the Chos’?”

  “I’ll be there,” Brother Jasper yelled back. “But not Lola or Mr. Moriarty.”

  Belinda waved broadly, like she was on a lifeboat trying to flag down a big ship. “See you there.” Her voice trailed off as she sped down the walk.

  “Well, Lola,” Brother Jasper said, “I’d be glad to escort you home, if you’re headed that way.”

  Did I suddenly look eighty-six? Why would he think I needed help crossing the street? “I’m not going back just yet,” I said. “But thanks.”

  “OK then.” He gave us one last look and headed reluctantly for the Chos’ house. I realized then that he’d gone out of his way to talk to us.

  Ryan leaned over me. “Cautionary tales? What’s that all about? Maybe a warning about me?”

  I laughed. “I doubt it. I think it has to do with the fact I don’t have any deadbolts on my doors. That, and half the neighborhood has keys to my house.”

  “I’m in the neighborhood, and I don’t have the keys to your house.”

  Good lord, the man’s very voice oozed with sexuality. “Maybe something like that could be arranged,” I said, bolder by the minute. So this was what it felt like.