Burning Roses

by Amanda Perry

  Caleb smirks and shrugs. “I always blamed Jaxon for convincing me it was a good idea. He always blamed me. To this day, we aren’t sure who was the real bad influence. Though, I think a lot of it was Cassie.”

  The idea of Cassie as a bad influence on her brother and her boyfriend makes a lot of sense. My dad must think so, also, because he barks out a laugh and nods. “Yeah, I’d buy that.”

  He sighs heavily and turns back to me, his laughter gone. “But you’re my little girl, Riley. You went through a lot because I wasn’t there to be your dad and keep you safe. I don’t want anything bad to ever happen to you again. I’m just totally lost on where that line between protecting and overprotecting you is. I’m still learning.”

  I nod my understanding. Every day it seems like I’m learning the right way to do things. I spent a long time in the bubble my mother and Samael created, so I don’t always remember or believe I’m allowed to be myself and think for myself now.

  “Will you tell me what happened yesterday?” Dad asks. “I know you were upset I didn’t listen to you, and I’m truly sorry for that. But something else happened, too. Something more.”

  “What do you mean, something else?” Caleb stiffens behind me, his arm around my waist pulling me tighter against him. “What happened?”

  My dad draws his brows together and shakes his head. “I don’t know. You three went on your little outing and Leanne and I spoke to Riley about school. We didn’t let her explain her reasons for protesting which was wrong of us, but something stopped her from trying to be heard. At first, she was standing her ground, ready to tell us what she wanted to say. I thought she was trying to explain all the reasons school wasn’t worth it.”

  Dad cringes, then turns to me with a chagrined expression. “Then, it was like all the progress we made over the last few months vanished. You were the same scared, closed-off girl I picked up at the airport. I don’t ever want you to feel you can’t trust us, trust me. Whatever it was that triggered such a strong response out of you, I want to fix it.”

  I debate answering him. He seems sincere and so far, he hasn’t shown any anger toward me. If he truly wants to know, I may as well tell him now while he’s in an understanding mood. “Y-y-you s-s-said something.”

  “I said something?” he repeats. “I don’t remember everything I said. Was it because I said you had to go to school?”

  I shake my head. My hand covers Caleb’s, and I squeeze hard for courage. “D-d-do I m-m-make m-m-myself c-c-clear?”

  He blinks several times. “I don’t understand.”

  “Can you explain it to us, baby?” Caleb murmurs close to my ear. “It’s okay if you can’t talk about it right now. You’re already pretty upset.”

  “That’s what y-y-you said.” I take several deep breaths, desperate to stop the stutter—I can’t stand it. I repeat the words slowly in hopes they understand me better. “’Do I make myself clear?’ You s-s-said it when I tried to e-e-explain. S-S-Sam— H-h-he said it, too.”

  “Samael?” My father’s voice hardens when he repeats the name.

  Reluctantly, I nod. I hope his sudden mood change isn’t directed toward me. “If he s-s-said that, I k-k-knew he was in a v-v-violent mood. I knew it meant I’d be h-h-hurt if I didn’t sh-sh-shut up. It m-m-meant I needed to make myself i-i-invisible to s-s-survive his anger.”

  “Riley,” Dad breathes out, hanging his head. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

  “I-I-I know,” I say quietly. “It’s just, I’m u-u-used to it being my only w-w-warning. If I m-m-messed up at all when h-h-he said that, It was b-b-bad. I’ll do a-a-anything to avoid that kind of p-p-pain again.”

  “I’ll never hurt you,” Dad promises, slowly taking my free hand in his. “I promise you right now I’ll never hurt you, and I’ll never let anyone else hurt you, either. It’s my job as your father to protect you, and I swear I’ll do that. No matter what.”

  I give him a small smile with a quiet thanks.

  He pats my hand, then let’s go of it. “Well, I know this has been a hell of a weekend, but it isn’t over yet. Leanne and Cassie decided we all need to go shopping this evening if you’re up for it. There’s a little town with antique shops not far from here that Cassie and Leanne love to roam around. They find pretty cool stuff sometimes. Leanne said it’d be a good way to destress and spend some quality time together. In other words, us guys can hold the bags while you three shop.”

  “You mean the place Cassie spent ten hours wandering last time we came here?” Caleb raises his brow.

  Dad nods and cringes. “It was their idea, but I agreed. I told them if you want to go, it’s my treat.”

  “Are you shitting me, Mark?” Caleb groans, flopping down on the bed. “You hate me, don’t you?”

  “It was Cassie’s choice.” He shrugs, obviously trying to hide his laughter. “I suggested we all go see that new action movie that just came out. She refused to let me get tickets for it.”

  “Caleb, you don’t have to go,” I tell him. His annoyance at the idea disappoints me, but I won’t ask him to do something he doesn’t feel like doing. I know he isn’t the shopping type, and normally, I’m not either. At least, not the Cassie shopping type. Antiques are a different story, though. They intrigue me, and it would be nice to spend a mindless, distracting afternoon from all the chaos.

  “Of course, I’m going to go with you.” He pushed up on his elbows and quirks a brow. “You could use some fun, and I’m not going to stop that.”

  “But,” I scrunch my nose. “You d-d-don’t want to?”

  “Baby,” he breathes, sitting up farther and glaring at my dad. “I’m just giving Mark a hard time, I’m happy to go with you.”

  “Are you sure?” I ask skeptically.

  With great pleasure, I notice I can speak more clearly, finally. With all the difficult conversations out of the way for now, I’m able to relax slightly, and my stutter eases up. It’s not only embarrassing, it’s exhausting. My body tenses with every word I say and it’s physically taxing.

  “Positive.” He smiles down at me, then kisses my forehead. “I’ll even take you to a movie afterward if you want. I know there’s a chick movie out you and Cassie wanted to see.”

  “You’d do that for me?” I grin.

  He laughs. “I’d do anything for you, baby.”

  “I guess we’re going antiquing.” Dad pauses, then frowns. “Antique shopping? Antique hunting? Is there an actual term for what we’re going to do?”

  “If anyone would know, it would be me,” Caleb quips sarcastically.

  “Smart ass. I’ll just look it up later.” Dad shakes his head and stands from the bed. “I’ll tell Leanne to get ready and text you guys when we’re in the lobby.”

  “Sounds good, I’ll text Jax and let him know we’re in.” Caleb grabs his phone from the nightstand.

  “Oh, I nearly forgot.” Dad stands and pulls a cell phone from his pocket then hands it to me. “This is for you. I have no idea why we didn’t get you one before now, but I guess we always just contacted whoever you were with. But yesterday, I realized you need your own. Caleb can show you how to do anything you don’t already know how to do on it.”

  “Wow.” I turn the fancy smartphone over in my hand. “Thank you. This is amazing.”

  “You deserve it, kiddo.” He turns to walk to the door but pauses and gives Caleb a hard stare. “If you guys go to the movies later, have fun and all, but not too much fun, Montgomery.”

  “Yes, Father,” Caleb teases, earning him a glare.

  As soon as the door closes, Caleb pounces on me. He pins me under him on the bed, holding his weight off me with his forearms.

  I gasp in surprise and blink up at him with my mouth open.

  “Hey.” He smirks.

  “Um.” I hesitate, unsure what to do. “Hi?”

  Caleb chuckles and buries his face in my neck. “I missed you.”

  “I’ve been here all night.” My heart picks up speed with
his body pressed close to mine and his lips resting against my neck.

  Caleb hums noncommittally. “Doesn’t count, I was asleep, and I didn’t get to see you and hold you.” He drops an open-mouthed kiss on my collarbone. “Or kiss you.”

  “O-o-oh.” For once my stutter has nothing to do with worries and everything to do with the tightness in my stomach when he kisses up my neck.

  Caleb continues a trail of kisses over my jaw, then to the corner of my mouth. He pauses, and I frown with disappointment. “Can I can kiss you, baby girl?”

  “Please.” I turn my head to give him better access to kiss me.

  He doesn’t need any further permission. His lips drop gently to mine. I follow his movements, still unsure of my skills in this area. Caleb doesn’t seem to mind as he takes the lead and eagerly deepens our kiss. My body warms up all over, almost as if a fire ignites inside me, begging to be let out. I don’t know what might happen if I let the burn continue, but I can’t resist giving in.

  Driven completely by the sensations coursing through me, I arch my back, pressing myself closer to Caleb. My arms wrap around his neck, and I gasp into our kiss when I feel the heat emitting from my body intertwine with his own fire. Caleb inhales sharply, groans, then pulls his lips away from mine. His sudden withdrawal confuses me. My brow draws together, and I tug on his neck, trying to pull him back.

  “Baby, we can’t,” he grits through clenched teeth. His eyes shut tight, and he sets his jaw as if he’s in pain.

  I let him go immediately, trying to figure out what I did wrong and how I hurt him. “I’m sorry, Caleb. I didn’t m-m-mean to hurt you.”

  He lets out a half-laugh, half-growl and drops his forehead to mine. “I’m not hurt. I’m… uncomfortable.”

  He isn’t making any sense. If he’s not comfortable, I want to do anything I can to help him, so I wiggle under him, trying to get free and give him space. My hips make contact with his, and he grunts. “Hold still, please.”

  “What’s w-w-wrong?” Panic begins to grip me. He isn’t making sense, and he’s acting hurt. Something must have happened.

  His eyes pop open, searching mine. “You don’t need to worry. Just being around you gets to me, but with you underneath me, kissing you like that, feeling the fire in you… I need to stop us before it gets to be too much.”

  “Too much what?” I tilt my head curiously, allowing my nerves to calm. “Was that fire real? Did I burn you?”

  Caleb takes a deep breath and rolls us over, pulling me on top of him to straddle his hips. “Yeah, baby, it was real, and it’s incredible. You could never burn me, but you can test my control. I want you, badly, but you’re not ready, and I need to remind myself of that, a lot.” He presses his hips up into mine, and I feel the evidence of how much he wants me. My whole body blushes. “It’s like every time I kiss you, I forget everything else, and we go too far. I don’t mean to, but it’s hard to think clearly with you.”

  “Caleb,” I breathe out, unsure how to respond. “I’m not ready for that—”

  His eyes widen, and he shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll never cross a line you don’t want crossed. I swear.”

  “I know. That’s not what I meant.” My cheeks darken, and I turn my head away from him. “I’m not ready for…that yet, but I…I like it when you kiss me.”

  Caleb cups my cheek and pulls my gaze back to his. “You don’t need to be embarrassed. I need you to tell me what you want and don’t want. If you don’t tell me, I’m left to guess, and I’m a shitty guesser. It’s the reason why I refuse to play Pictionary—I lose every time.”

  I giggle at his joke, lowering my body against his and resting my forehead on his shoulder.

  “I think we’ve tested my control enough for one morning.” Caleb squeezes me in a tight hug. “I say we get ready and head out for your epic Sacramento antiquing trip.”

  “I really like the sound of that.” I grin, rolling off of him and curling into his side. “It’ll be good to have a day with no new secrets or tests.”

  Caleb tenses beside me.

  I look up at him. “What?”

  “Uh, well, it isn’t really a big deal, but there are a few more things you don’t know about,” he admits quietly.

  I groan and drop my head back. “Is this your way of getting back at me for helping Cassie with the alarms?”

  “Yes?” he teases. “It just isn’t anything you need to worry about right now. I don’t want to give you even more new information to process and deal with. You’ve been through enough over the past few weeks. The only reason I’m admitting this is because I need you to trust me, and I want to make sure you know I’m not keeping things from you to hurt you. I just don’t want to overwhelm you.”

  His logic makes sense. There are sure to be plenty of things about this new world I don’t know yet, but I can tell something specific makes him uneasy. His fingers tap nervously at my back, and he worries his bottom lip between his teeth.

  “Something’s bothering you.” He doesn’t deny my accusation, but he doesn’t offer any explanation, either. “Please, just tell me. I understand it’ll be hard to tell me every little detail right this second, but I need to know what has you nervous.”

  “Uh, well—” He pauses and shifts.

  Seeing him so uncomfortable puts me on edge. I sit up on the bed, and he pushes himself up to a sitting position as well. “You can tell me, Caleb.”

  He puts his hand to the back of his neck and takes a deep breath. “So, there is this thing that happens when…if…if we…if you…I mean… What I’m saying is if or when we, uh…” He looks at the ceiling like it will help him come up with the words to explain. I would never admit I find him adorable when he’s flustered.

  “Caleb, we’re soul mates, right?” I try to keep my nerves hidden, though I am not sure I am doing a good job. At his nod, I continue, “So, we can talk to each other about anything, right? You just got done telling me I can talk to you about anything. It should be the same both ways. Just talk to me.”

  “Well, it’s funny you should mention us being soul mates…” He looks at me warily.

  “What do you mean?” My heart stops and my blood runs cold. “D-d-do you not w-w-want me anymore? Did I m-m-mess everything up y-y-yesterday?” My eyes fill with tears. I thought he said he wasn’t mad.

  “No! No, no, no!” he promises over and over, pulling me close and holding me tight as if he’s afraid I’ll run if he lets go. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t think like that.”

  My mind swirls. “Then, what is it? You’re s-s-scaring me.”

  “Baby.” He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. “Okay, uh, let me think of how to word this so you don’t smack me. So when—If! Damn it, I mean if. If you decide you want to take our relationship to a more, er, intimate level, certain things happen.”

  My brow scrunches together in confusion. “I don’t get it. We already kiss and sleep in the same bed. What could be more inti—” I freeze when his words sink in. “Oh, you mean like Fifty Shades type stuff?” I wonder if he read the book Cassie told me about.

  “What?” He chokes. “Where the hell did you hear about that?”

  “Cassie,” I admit sheepishly. “We talked about some of that stuff.”

  “You talked to my sister about Fifty Shades?” he asks in disbelief.

  I nod hesitantly. “Sort of. It’s kind of a long story.”

  “Holy shit,” he breathes. “Okay, uh, no. I mean, yes. Wait, no. Sex, Riley, I’m talking about sex. If you decide you want to take that step with me, then it completes our bond, and we both get special abilities that are only between the two of us.”

  He huffs loudly as if relieved to have the words out. I vaguely remember Cassie mentioning the incomplete bond last night and wonder if that’s what she meant.

  Caleb continues before I manage to ask any questions. “The reason none of us have said anything before is because, in our world, it’s a really intimate
thing between couples, and it’s best talked about in private. I was waiting for the right time to speak to you about it.”

  “I didn’t expect that.” I hide my burning cheeks in Caleb’s chest.

  He simply holds me and lets me sort through my jumbled thoughts. He said we could talk to each other about anything, and I know if I’m going to be with him forever like he says, I’ll eventually want to talk more about sex with him. I’m not ready yet, but I want to be more open with him.

  We stay cuddled together for several long minutes before I finally gain the courage to ask him my most current question. “What are the abilities we will get when…I mean if…I mean, not that you want to, you might not even want to, so I guess it would be if you… Uh, if we—”

  “Baby.” He pulls back and takes my face in his hands. “I want to, trust me.” He leans in and gives me a slow, sweet kiss. When he pulls back, he smiles at me. I try to hide my disappointment at the short-lived kiss, but his growing smile makes me think he knows. “I’m waiting for you to be ready. I will never push you into anything. I’m ready when you are.”

  I blush bright red again and try to change the subject. I’m going to have to think more about his confession later. “So, the abilities?”

  “Right, well… We can sense each other’s emotions no matter where we are.” He chooses each word with care like he worries he’ll upset me. “You could be in Africa and I could be in Alaska, but if you got nervous, I would know. If I was excited, you would know. If you were hurt, I would feel your fear and your pain. It’s like a weird buzz in the back of your mind, or so I’m told.”

  “Wow.” How cool would it be to know what he was feeling all the time? I would never have to wonder if he was mad at me again or if he really does want to be with me. Then again, I’m not sure I would want to know.

  The need to change the subject overwhelms me, and I shake my head to clear it. “Is that the only secret you have left that’s about us?”

  His ears turn pink and his eyes go wide. “Uh, well, I was going to wait for this part. It isn’t really a secret, more of a surprise.” He shrugs with a cheesy grin on his face. “Close your eyes, and I’ll give it to you.”