A Mother's Love

by Katie Flynn

  The journey from their billet to the RAF station could not have taken more than ten minutes, but to Ellie it seemed like an eternity. As they approached, the guard opened the gate. Ellie looked into his face as they drove past. He had given a small nod, but his expression was grave.

  Reaching the bottom of the control tower, Ellie and Gwen leapt out of the car and raced up the steps to Sally, who was waiting at the top. ‘Quickly. We’re ready for you, and Aidan knows you’re here.’

  Hurrying towards the front of the tower, Ellie was aware of the sombre atmosphere. The controller jumped out of her seat and handed her the microphone, giving her an encouraging nod.

  Her heart pounding, she spoke into the microphone. ‘Aidan? Is that you?’

  ‘Ellie! I can’t tell you how good it is to hear your voice.’

  Ellie looked round the room at the worried faces. ‘They said that Connor’s been hit. Is he still stuck in the turret?’

  There was a pause. ‘Yes, love. The door’s locked from the inside, you see …’

  Never taking her eyes off the horizon, Ellie felt the tears trickling down her cheeks. ‘I’ve got Gwen with me, but she can’t talk to him, can she?’

  She heard Aidan swallow. ‘No. I think he might be asleep.’

  Ellie screwed up her eyes at the sound of Gwen crying softly behind her.

  Aidan’s voice came over the radio. ‘We’ve not got much fuel left, alanna, so it’ll be a pretty rough landing.’ He paused. ‘There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you ever since we got back from Africa, only I wanted to do it in person … I had it all planned, you see, but I think it might be best if I asked you now.’ He cleared his throat, and when he spoke next Ellie detected a faint tremor in his voice. ‘Ellie Lancton, will you marry me?’

  Taking great care to control her emotions, Ellie spoke as softly as she could. ‘Yes, my darling man, of course I’ll marry you.’ Peering into the distance, she could just make out the silhouette of the Lancaster Lass. ‘I see you, Aidan.’

  ‘I see you, alanna.’ Ellie could hear the splutter of engines as they started to die.

  The controller silently held out her hand for the microphone. Handing it over without protest, Ellie saw that the other woman’s cheeks were stained with tears.

  ‘PA473, this is RAF Biggin Hill, we have you in sight.’ Her lip quivered as she tried to smile reassuringly at Ellie. ‘We’re ready when you are.’

  ‘Roger that. Ellie, I know you’re still there. I just wanted to say I love you, alanna. T.t.f.n.’

  Leaning towards the microphone, Ellie smiled through her tears. ‘I love you too, Aidan … Aidan?’

  In the distance Aidan could see the fire engines and ambulances standing by. ‘Good luck, everyone.’ There was a general murmur of voices wishing the same back, and as the tail wheel touched the ground they heard another engine splutter as it died. Thrusting the two remaining engines into reverse, he prayed he had enough fuel left to stop him leaving the end of the runway. The engines roared as they tried to slow the heavy bomber down, and Aidan frowned. An odd smell had entered the plane. Not fuel, not oil … it was more floral. He tried to place the scent and was surprised when he realised it smelled the same as the small bags his mam used to put into the wardrobes and drawers. She claimed it deterred moths and insects, but Aidan had always worried that the smell might penetrate his clothes and people would accuse him of wearing perfume.

  ‘I’m a farmer, Mother. I’m meant to smell of horse sweat and manure, not bloody lavender,’ he would say.

  Aidan tapped the fuel gauge. The tanks were empty; he was trying to stop the Lancaster on fumes alone. Seeing the end of the runway drawing ever nearer, he knew that if he didn’t stop soon he would crash into the soft ground of the fields and the plane could tip or even break up. Keeping his eyes fixed on the horizon, he said a small prayer, and noted, as he did so, that the smell of lavender grew ever stronger.

  Ellie and Gwen were about to race down the runway towards the ambulance when Sally ordered them to stop.

  ‘I know you want to make sure they’re all right, but you’ll only hold things up. Come with me and I’ll drive you to the hospital where they’ll be taking Connor.’

  True to her word, Sally got them to the hospital before the ambulance had arrived. Inside, Ellie and Gwen hovered by the doors whilst Sally went to find out what was happening. After ten minutes or so she re-joined them.

  ‘They’ve managed to land, but they’re having trouble getting Connor out. Something must’ve jammed inside the turret.’

  Staring into space, Gwen cleared her throat. ‘He’s not awake yet? You’d think with all the noise and palaver he’d have woken up by now.’ She turned to Ellie, her eyes brimming with tears. ‘This can’t be happening. That women said … But he’s not my boyfriend …’

  Sally and Ellie exchanged worried glances. ‘Maybe he got knocked unconscious …’ Ellie was beginning, when they heard the ambulance arrive.

  Aidan had hammered on the blast doors until, with a loud click, they had slid back; inside he bent over his cousin and undid the harness which had been holding him in place. Swivelling the chair round, he managed to catch Connor as his body fell forward. Aidan could see that his cousin’s chest was covered in blood, and knew there was no time for emotion; Connor needed help and he needed it quickly. Pulling his cousin down the narrow passage, he spoke through gritted teeth. ‘Please don’t die, Connor. I need you to be my best man at the wedding. You can’t die on me, mate.’

  Ginge and Geoff helped carry Connor out of the belly of the plane and into the waiting ambulance, where the nurses instantly began to work on their patient. Aidan looked into the faces of his crew, and saw that their eyes were round with fear as they took in the extent of their rear gunner’s injuries. His voice came out in a whisper. ‘It’s bad, isn’t it? I mean really bad.’

  Ginge nervously ran his fingers through his hair. ‘It doesn’t look good, but I heard one of the nurses say she found a pulse, so he’s got a chance, hasn’t he? And you don’t get to survive all those years as a rear gunner unless you’ve a whole heap of luck on your side, not to mention a fighting spirit.’

  Aidan clapped a hand on Ginge’s shoulder. ‘You’re right. He’s a Murray, and we don’t roll over for anybody.’ He climbed into the back of the ambulance. ‘Tell Waddington what’s happened. Tell them how he saved us, that if he hadn’t shot that Messerschmitt down we’d be the ones in the briny deep. Tell them he’s a bally hero.’

  Ellie turned as Aidan burst through the doors, his face grey, his eyes hollow, and enveloped her in his arms. His voice was a hoarse whisper. ‘Ellie darling, I’m so glad they sent for you.’ Looking past Ellie, he beckoned Gwen over and pulled her into their embrace. ‘They’ve taken him straight into surgery. We won’t know any more until we hear from the doctors, but they did say one of the bullets had hit an artery, so he’s lost an awful lot of blood.’ He glanced at the ceiling, his eyes blinking as he banished the tears. ‘I thought we were going to lose him. I still don’t know if he’s going to be all right …’

  Gwen sat down on one of the benches that lined the corridor. ‘He can’t die, not yet. I haven’t told him how much I like him. I was hoping …’ She looked beseechingly into Aidan’s eyes. ‘He’s not my boyfriend yet, so he has to get better.’

  Aidan frowned, but before he could say anything Ellie waved a dismissive hand. ‘It’s a long story. I’ll explain later.’

  Sitting next to Gwen, Aidan opened his hand to reveal a thin silver chain. ‘He knew how disappointed you were when you had to give the locket that Sid Crowther stole back to the police, so he bought you this when we were in Africa. It fell out of his flying jacket when they got him ready for surgery.’

  Gwen picked the chain up and opened the tiny locket. ‘He’s put a picture of himself in one half.’ Giggling through her tears, she held it up so that Aidan and Ellie might see. ‘Typical Connor …’ Her voice tailed off as she fingered the delicate n
ecklace.

  As Ellie laid a reassuring hand on Aidan’s shoulder, he flinched under her touch. Glancing at her fingertips, her eyes rounded. ‘You’re bleeding.’ She took a closer look at his shoulder, then let out a squeal. ‘You’ve been hit. There’s a hole in your jacket …’

  He shook his head. ‘Don’t fuss. It’s nowt to worry about, not when we’ve got Connor in there …’

  She stared at him disbelievingly. ‘You knew? Aidan, how could you be so silly? You’ve got a bullet in your shoulder, you’re sitting in the middle of a hospital, and you never thought to mention it to anyone?’

  ‘I didn’t know, not until I tried to move our Connor. It was only then that I realised summat was wrong.’ He rubbed his fingers over his forehead. ‘Compared to what our Connor’s goin’ through in there, this is nowt, so please don’t make a fuss, Ellie. Not until we know Connor’s all right.’

  Ellie’s lip trembled. ‘But you’ve been shot. You’re bleeding, and you might get an infection. Why can’t you let me at least tell one of the nurses? They can take a look at the wound, get you cleaned up …’

  Aidan shook his head. ‘Not until I know what’s happening to Connor. Once they know I’ve been shot they’ll want to take me away, and I couldn’t bear not knowin’ what was goin’ on. I want to be here when they come out of that room.’

  The theatre door opened and the large-bosomed matron bustled over. ‘I take it you’re Mr Murray’s cousin?’ Without waiting for a reply, she continued, ‘He’s lost a lot of blood and he needs a transfusion. We’ll need to make sure you’re the same blood type, but hopefully, as you’re family … I take it you’ve no objection?’

  Aidan shook his head. ‘Can’t you tell us anything else? About his condition, I mean?’

  She smiled sympathetically. ‘They’ve managed to stop the bleeding, but there’s been an awful lot of damage to one of his lungs and they’ve had to remove half of it, so even if he does pull through he’ll have a long road to recovery.’

  ‘You said “even if he does pull through”,’ said Gwen. ‘Do you think there’s a chance he might not?’

  ‘We’re doing the best we can, but it would be wrong for me to give false hope.’

  Ellie was looking earnestly at Aidan, who nodded reluctantly. ‘You asked if Aidan could give blood, but he can’t because he’s been shot too.’

  The matron looked from Ellie to Aidan. ‘Please tell me this young lady has got it wrong.’

  Getting to his feet, Aidan indicated the bullet wound on the top of his shoulder. ‘It’s nowt …’ he began, then sat down abruptly. He clamped a hand to his forehead. ‘Sorry about that. I came over all queer just then.’

  The matron shook her head disapprovingly. ‘When will you boys learn? You sit here as though nothing’s wrong and let infection take over.’ She glanced at Ellie. ‘Stay with him and make sure he doesn’t move. I’ll fetch a wheelchair.’

  Gwen spoke up. ‘What about Connor’s blood transfusion? You can’t just let him lie there.’

  The matron nodded. ‘I take it you’re willing to step up to the plate?’

  In answer to the question Gwen rolled up her sleeve.

  ‘Come with me. I’ll take you to the nurse in charge, then I’ll get a wheelchair and come back for this young man.’

  Aidan and Ellie watched as Gwen and the matron disappeared through a set of doors.

  Ellie linked her arm through Aidan’s and placed her head against his uninjured shoulder. ‘I know you’re worried about Connor, we all are, but you’re no good to him wounded.’

  When Aidan spoke next his voice was hoarse. ‘You’ve no need to tell me that. Right now my cousin needs me more than ever before, and I can’t do a single thing to help him.’

  Sitting up, Ellie cupped his chin in her hands and locked her eyes on his. ‘You can’t blame yourself for that. It’s not your fault you got shot.’

  The sparkle in Aidan’s eye disappeared under the tears which brimmed on his lower lids. He blinked, and a tear dropped on to his cheek. ‘I know it’s not, but it doesn’t change the outcome, does it? All I want to do is make him better. I’d do anything for that boy.’

  Ellie lowered her head. ‘I know,’ she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She raised her gaze to meet his and her eyes too shone with tears. ‘You’re more like brothers than cousin.’

  The matron approached with the wheelchair. ‘Come along, young man, let’s get you into theatre.’

  ‘Theatre? You mean he’ll have to have an operation? Can’t you take it out with some tweezers or something, the way they do in the movies?’

  Shaking her head, the matron chuckled. ‘Don’t go believing everything you see in the cinema, dear. When it comes to bullets nothing’s as simple as it may seem.’

  As she helped Aidan into the chair he looked at her hopefully. ‘Was Gwen a match? For Connor, I mean?’

  The matron nodded. ‘We’ve got some of your crew in there too, so your cousin’s got plenty of volunteers.’

  Aidan smiled. ‘He’s a good lad is our Connor. You will do everything you can for him, won’t you?’

  She nodded. ‘Just you concentrate on yourself for a bit. With luck you’ll only need a local, and you’ll be right as rain in no time.’

  In the early hours of the morning they were finally allowed to see Connor. ‘He’s very weak, but if you promise me you’ll not stay more than a minute or two, and that you won’t try to wake him up or get him to speak to you, then I’ll let you in.’ The matron held out a warning hand as Gwen and Ellie stood up. ‘Before you enter you must remember that he’s on a ventilator to help his breathing. It looks scary but it should only be temporary, so try not to worry.’

  Ellie wheeled Aidan up beside Connor’s bed. Aidan smiled. ‘He looks so much better now the colour’s coming back to his face and all the blood’s gone from his chest.’

  Stepping forward, Gwen brushed his fringe away from his brow. ‘I’m wearing the locket you bought me, cariad, and I think it’s beautiful. I’ll always treasure it.’

  Ellie slipped her arm into the crook of Gwen’s. ‘He looks so peaceful, not at all aware or worried.’

  Nodding, Gwen gently kissed his forehead. ‘Just you make sure you get well soon, Connor Murray. I’m going to need you as my escort to Ellie and Aidan’s wedding.’

  ‘That’s right, pal. You’re to be my best man, so just you listen to Gwen here and get better soon.’

  Ellie stroked the back of his hand. ‘We’ll come and see you every day, won’t we, Gwen?’

  ‘Just you try and stop us.’

  The door opened behind them and the matron looked in. ‘Sorry, folks, but that’s enough. We don’t want to exhaust him.’

  Gwen touched her fingers to Connor’s hand. ‘See you soon, cariad.’

  ‘Any news?’

  Gwen shook her head. ‘Still the same, I did ask why he hadn’t woken up yet but I got the same old reply: it’s his body’s way of saying it needs the rest.’ She leaned against the car door.

  Ellie gave her friend a reassuring nod. ‘And they’re right. I’m sure it’s nothing more than that. The nurses did say that his pulse, blood pressure and everything else were all good; if it was anything sinister we would’ve known by now.’ She smiled shrewdly. ‘Especially you, Gwen Jones. I’ve hardly seen you this past week. If you’re not on duty you’re with Connor, which is all very well, but you need your rest too, you know. You won’t be any good to him when he wakes up if you’re half asleep.’

  ‘I doze on and off at the hospital, so I’m not doing too badly.’ She looked shyly at Ellie. ‘Before Aidan went back to Waddington I expected Connor to wake up whenever he spoke, but when he left I began to hope that it might be my voice that wakes him. I know it sounds silly, but I’d like to be the first one he sees.’

  Ellie smiled. ‘I don’t think it sounds silly at all. I’d be the same if it was Aidan, but you can’t sit with him for twenty-four hours a day, so try to go a little easier on your
self.’

  Going round to the passenger door, Gwen opened it and sat down in the seat next to Ellie. ‘I can’t; my head won’t let me. I feel like a cat on a hot tin roof, and I’m scared that if I’m not there beside him he might never wake up. As soon as he’s conscious, I’ll know I can rest easy.’

  Ellie held Gwen’s hand and spoke reassuringly. ‘Gwen, darling, I had no idea that was what you were thinking, but you mustn’t be so hard on yourself. Whether Connor wakes up or not won’t be determined by your presence, so although I’ll not deny it’s good for him to hear a familiar, friendly voice, you don’t have to always be by his side.’

  Gwen smiled appreciatively. ‘I know, and of course you’re right, but no matter what anyone says I’m determined to be with him as much as I can.’ Glancing at her wristwatch, she sighed. ‘Well, I’m going to have to say ta-ra for a bit. I’ve got to take Fatso to a meeting.’

  Ellie choked on a giggle. ‘If Major Gregson ever hears you callin’ him that …’

  Gwen smiled brightly. ‘He won’t, will he, ’cos he’s always got his head stuffed into a bowl full of summat or other. Besides, it’s not my fault he bounces round in the back of that car like a rubber ball. I’ve complained about that dratted suspension over and over, but they won’t do owt because he’s the only one it affects.’

  Ellie shook her head. ‘Gwen Jones, you do have a way with words.’

  Gwen pouted. ‘If only that were true. I’ve asked Connor over and over to wake up, told him how much we miss him, how much he’s wanted. I’ve begged and pleaded, but his eyes don’t even flicker.’

  Ellie wrinkled her brow. ‘Perhaps you’re goin’ down the wrong path.’ She tapped her lips thoughtfully. ‘Have you tried mentioning food? That normally works with the Murray men. Or perhaps the time you went dancing in Lincoln? He loves dancing.’

  Leaning across the car, Gwen pecked Ellie on the cheek. ‘That’s an idea. I’ll try it tonight and see what happens.’ She got out of the car, but before she shut the door she said, ‘I wonder if they’d let me take a plate of bacon in? Aidan said it’s his favourite.’