Undisputed

by Aimee Nicole Walker

  It was true, women hated that Kathy and I had broken up. To them, it was a bruiser and Cinderella story. I wondered how many of them put themselves in her thousand dollar shoes I’d paid for. She hadn’t talked to me since storming out of my hotel room that day, but her name was synonymous with mine lately. Of course, the amount of feedback I was getting for breaking up with Kathy I knew paled in comparison for what I’d be getting if those photos were exposed.

  “Yeah, well, you did what you needed to do. To be honest… and this is just between us… I felt she was too fucking clingy, man. I mean, she was all over you. I like Kathy, got nothing against her, but I just didn’t see you two as a lasting couple. There just wasn’t any connection,” Mark stated.

  “Yeah, my brother said the same thing,” I replied with a chuckle as I thought about what Rico had said. Of course, my brother called to give me his support over my break up. He said some comforting things that made me feel worse, because what he didn’t know was that I did have a break up, but it wasn’t with Kathy.

  “All right, you’re all taped up. Okay, it’s time for you to put that shit in the back of your head now, Macio. I’m going to whoop your ass out there. I’ll teach you for lowering your guard in the ring.”

  I flexed my fingers, making sure I could move them just fine. I put on my gloves and stood up, ready to follow Mark to the mat. “I underestimated Jaxon a little.”

  “Which is something we’ve told you time and time not to do. Never underestimate your opponent. Motherfuckers underestimate you all the time and look what happens?” He smiled as he proved his point.

  I nodded. “It won’t happen again.” I followed him to the mat and took up my position. Barry sat backwards in the chair, resting his arms on the back of it as he watched us spar. Of course, he understood why I had to break it off with Kathy and supported my decision. He also got wind of my real break up with Aiden and supported that too, especially after he saw the photos.

  It was Barry who urged me to cut off all ties with Aiden. That meant all social media links I had with him, just in case someone hacked my site. They didn’t want any incriminating social media trails that could prove those photos real. Aiden was right about one thing, those images were blurry as fuck. Barry pointed out how that worked in our favor. You really couldn’t see the faces clearly, but he didn’t want to press the issue.

  I hated having to cut off all ties to Aiden. I wanted to see his photos in magazines and read his articles. On several occasions, I’d masturbated to a photo I’d taken of him with my cell phone while he’d slept naked in my bed. I should have deleted the damn thing, but I couldn’t. I tried several times, but couldn’t never press the “delete” button. Aiden had been so beautiful laying on the rumpled covers. We’d shared hours of hot lovemaking and were exhausted. He looked so peaceful as he slept, too. That photo felt like the last thing I had that was ours. I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it. Instead, I sent it to my Google drive. At least it wouldn’t be on my phone anymore.

  Mark took me down easily when I didn’t see the move he used to sweep my leg out from under me. “What the fuck is this, Macio? This is bullshit, man. Get your head in the fucking game. I’m not here to play with you,” he snapped as he let me up.

  “I know, I’m sorry,” I said as I climbed to my feet.

  Mark grabbed me by the back of my head, forcing me to look at him. “I know you’re hurting, Macio. Channel that shit into your fists, bro. Make that pain work for you.” He let me go and punched me in the chest in his motivational way.

  I nodded and jumped up and down, trying to work that fire back inside of me. I’d given up the love of my life… quite possibly a love that I may never have again, all for my career. It was my decision and I needed to put myself into it one hundred percent. I needed to let Aiden go if I was going to move forward. The good news was, no more photos came in the past seven days, so I was keeping my fingers crossed. I shoved my pain into the closet I was hiding in and put my focus on Mark and taking him down.

  “That was a great training session, bro,” Mark said, slapping me on my shoulder as we walked out of the shower room.

  “Thanks, man. Loved seeing you on your ass,” I taunted.

  “I had your ass on the ground more, teaching you that new shit,” Mark bragged.

  “Yeah, yeah,” I said, then toweled off. We both got dressed quickly, and I walked out of the locker room, running into Barry.

  “We need to talk,” Barry said.

  “I’m tired, Barry, can this wait?”

  “No.”

  “Shit. Fine.” I followed him into his office and he shut the door behind me.

  “I’ve just gotten off the phone with the president of ETC and he’s loving you, kid. The fans are loving you, that last fight drove everyone wild. It made a lot of money for the promotion, too. People want to see you fight, they want to see you win. Hell, even the ones who want to see you lose are still paying to see you fight. You’re a pay-per-view draw, kid. That means you can get even more sponsorships. I was talking to Rupert and he’s working on a multi-million dollar deal for you with Hyperion automotive.”

  “Holy shit, are you serious?” I asked. Hyperion cars were expensive as fuck.

  “Yeah, serious as a heart attack. It’s a delicate deal, he’s really trying to build you up, so that’s why we don’t need any scandal going on with you right now. You breaking up with Kathy isn’t that big of a deal since no one knows the reason why. That’s all going to blow over soon, especially when you get in the ring with your next opponent. What we need to do is get you an opponent and a feud that’s really going to hype up the fans. You’ve got to do some shit talking, buddy, really pump it up, and we need to make sure you can back it up. That’s why I need your head in the game.”

  “My head is in the game, Barry.”

  “Good, because I’m here to make sure you succeed, Macio. I love you like you’re my own son.”

  “I know.” He did support me no matter what. Barry was telling me about an opportunity of a lifetime. I had to take it.

  “Dirk Calder’s been wanting a shot at you for a while, ever since he won his contender match, and now the opportunity is finally here. He’s been talking a lot of shit, too.” Barry laughed.

  “Fuck that bitch, I’ll wipe my ass with his face,” I stated.

  Barry laughed harder. “Yeah, I know… but watch out, because he has a mean right hook and his ground game is better than your last three opponents’.”

  “So, I’ll beef up my ground game.”

  “And your aikido.”

  “That’s tomorrow’s training. Okay, can I go now? I’m hungry as fuck.”

  “Watch those calories, Macio.”

  “I will.” I wanted a steak—rare and spinach salad so damn bad. I gave Barry a hug, then left the gym. My body was a little sore, seeing as Mark hadn’t pulled his punches, and Hiko wouldn’t be pulling his punches tomorrow during my aikido sparring. I drove to a favorite steakhouse of mine and ordered my food to go. When I got home, I ate and got on Twitter to look at Aiden’s account. I needed to stop torturing myself, but I needed to see him.

  Damn it, would I ever get over him?

  It felt like I went through half of the stages of grief in the first few hours upon arriving home in L.A. after walking out of Macio’s hotel room. I was in shock that Macio and I could be over and wanted to deny it had happened. I was angry – at Macio, Rupert, the universe – and was willing to bargain anything I had to get him back. Depression and loneliness hit me upside the head like a two-by-four and left me feeling dizzy and disoriented. It didn’t help matters when I tried to drown my sorrow in a bottle of booze. I woke up the Monday after the breakup wondering how soon I could expect the upward turn, the reconstruction, the acceptance that we were over, and the hope that I’d find happiness again someday.

  I cried myself sick as I typed up the interview I had conducted with Macio. It was embarrassing how many times I replayed the recording j
ust so I could hear his voice. I kept checking my phone to see if he had texted me. I read every text message he ever sent me at least twice before I opened my Messenger app. I had planned to read through all of them, too, but I noticed the conversation thread was gone. My heart sank when I searched for Tyler Johnson and realized he’d deleted the one secret way he had of communicating with me.

  It was then that I realized Macio had made his decision. It was his way of severing all ties and moving on without me. I tried to do the same by deleting his contact information, but I wasn’t strong enough yet. I equated the pain from deleting his photos and messages from my phone to losing a limb. Fuck, I thought I might recover from the physical pain quicker than the emotional.

  I threw myself into my work and took every traveling assignment I could to keep my mind off of Macio. At first, it didn’t work. I thought about him just as much as I did when I was at home and there wasn’t enough activity in the day to keep my thoughts from turning to him – wondering how he was doing and if he ever thought about me. In addition to the traveling, I turned over the fighting assignments to the new reporter Jerry had hired and refused to read any article or online report that I thought his name would even appear in. No Google searches, nothing. Macio had made a clean break and I needed to do the same.

  Eventually, it paid off. I stopped looking at the pictures of him on my phone and I even went complete days without thinking about him. I congratulated myself when I realized after three long months, I had finally reached the upward turn phase of my grief. I was ready to embrace the reconstruction phase and hoped it might include some up close and personal time with a guy who wanted to be with me – and not just when no one was looking.

  I realized I wouldn’t meet that special someone by spending all my time hiding inside my house when I was home. I stopped ignoring dinner and dancing invites and hit the town with my friends. It felt awkward the first time a stranger pressed his body against mine on the dance floor. My heart screamed that it was all wrong and only Macio had the right to touch me so intimately. The hard truth was that he didn’t want me enough to love me openly, so I forced myself to ignore my reservations and threw myself into the dance. I didn’t leave the club with my dance floor partner, but it was a step in the right direction.

  I wasn’t fooled into thinking the first guy who showed interest in me would be the one I fell head-over-heels for, but I had to admit it felt good to have a man look at me with naked interest in his eyes, especially if it was in a crowded café in the middle of the afternoon. The date wasn’t what I had hoped it would be because the guy was clearly only looking to hookup.

  I needed much more out of life than a guy who was just looking to pick up men from an app. I wanted to find a guy that I had a lot of things in common with, but someone who could also push my boundaries a little and perhaps interest me in non-sporty things like art and movies. I wanted a guy who could stimulate me both sexually and intellectually. I thought just maybe I had found my opportunity when Seth introduced me to a colleague from his office.

  “Where the hell have you been hiding him?” I demanded when tall, dark, and dreamy went to use the restroom. Garrett Connelly exceeded every item of my wish list for a serious boyfriend. He was educated, funny, quick-witted, and drop-dead gorgeous, but above all those things, he was out and he looked at me like I could be someone special to him.

  “You weren’t ready to meet Garrett because you were too busy getting over a guy you swore didn’t exist.” He pinned me with a look that said he dared me to argue with him. The dramatically arched brow reminded me of a pro-wrestler we both used to lust after when we were younger.

  I was laughing hysterically at his shenanigans when I felt a light tug on my sleeve. I turned my head and looked into Kathy Vincennes’ crystal blue eyes. I jerked with surprise, which prompted a soft smile from her. “Kathy?”

  “In the flesh.” She smiled softly at me, which threw me for a curve. This was a woman who had once been at odds with my happiness, but you’d never have known it by looking at her that night. “How are you doing?”

  “I’m… um, good. How are you?” I asked her.

  “Is there somewhere we can talk in private?” she asked. There could only be one topic that we had in common and it was a place I didn’t want to go. “Please. It’s really important.” The soft plea in her voice worried me that something could be wrong with Macio. No matter how things ended between us, I would never wish misery and unhappiness for Macio.

  “Sure.” I rose from my chair and tilted my head for her to follow me. I led her to a patio off the side of the restaurant that wasn’t busy that time of the year due to the cooler night air.

  “How are you really, Aiden?” she asked once we were alone.

  “I’m fine, really.” I felt tension bunching up the muscles in the back of my neck and raised my hand to try and work them out.

  “I think you’re as miserable as Macio is.” She held up her hand to stop me when I started to respond. “He’s a mess, Aiden. He’s been a wreck since he broke things off with you and I’m worried for him.” She blew out a soft puff of air and looked away for a few seconds as she pondered her words. “People who don’t know him wouldn’t recognize just how on the edge he is, but I see it and so does my dad. I think Rupert is the only one who thinks he’s doing okay, but that’s because he wants it to be so.” The disdain in her voice told me she wasn’t Rupert’s biggest fan. It was nice to know I had something in common with her, even though it was too late for it to count.

  “I’m not sure what you want from me, Kathy. It’s been three months since I last saw Macio. He’s made no move to talk to me or get in touch with me in any way. He’s made his decision and moved on with his life and I’m trying to do the same thing.” Then a thought occurred to me and I asked, “How did you even know where to find me?”

  “It was fate.” She smiled like she was truly pleased to see me. “I’ve been debating calling you for some time now, but I kept talking myself out of it. You’d been hurt enough and I didn’t want to cause you any more pain.” I was sure I gawked at her when she reached over and rubbed my arm comfortingly. I was getting a glimpse of the kind-hearted Kathy that Macio knew. “I’m in town for my friend’s wedding and she picked this place for the two of us to have dinner before things get crazy when the rest of the bridal party shows up tomorrow. And here you are.”

  “And here I am,” I replied.

  “Aiden, he needs you. Can you please call him?”

  It killed me to hear that Macio was hurting so badly, but I wasn’t willing to risk my heart to him again. Maybe one day far off in the future it wouldn’t hurt me to see his face or hear his voice, but I wasn’t there yet. If I truly wanted to move on and find happiness, then I needed to stay away from him. “I can’t, Kathy. I’m sorry.”

  I didn’t stick around to hear anything else she had to say. I returned to my dinner companions and tried my best to push the things that Kathy said about Macio out of my mind. I had thought I was further along in my healing process over our breakup, but I realized how wrong I was after a few words from Kathy. Still, contacting Macio after all the time that had lapsed would only lead to two things: misery and heartache. I decided the only chance I had for a happy future was to move on and never look back.

  I was pleasantly surprised when it seemed that Seth hadn’t noticed I wasn’t as engaged in our conversation as I had been before Kathy interrupted us. The same couldn’t be said for Garrett. “You’re still getting over someone, aren’t you?” he asked when Seth left us alone to say hello to someone he knew at the bar.

  I was going to deny it, but then I looked into his honest green eyes and couldn’t do it. “Busted.”

  “We’ve all been there.” Garrett reached across the table and placed his hands over mine. “I think something truly amazing could develop between us, Aiden, and I’m willing to wait for you as long as I need to.”

  “Garrett, I can’t make you—”

 
“Any promises. I know.” He smiled patiently at me. “How about you agree to have dinner with me next weekend and we see where things go.”

  I studied him for several long moments, looking for any sign that he wasn’t as sincere as he seemed. The last thing I wanted was for him to later say that I misled him when I couldn’t give him what he wanted from me. I knew I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to attempt a relationship right then, but that didn’t mean I would turn away an offer of friendship that could lead to something pure and meaningful down the road. So, I agreed to dinner.

  I was a nervous wreck until I reminded myself that it was dinner between new friends, not a date. I relaxed and let my guard down a bit. In fact, he was easier to talk to than Seth because he didn’t know my dating history. He didn’t push for names and details when I told him about trying to move on from someone who was closeted and didn’t show any signs of wanting to love in the open.

  It wasn’t exactly a unique situation, so I wasn’t surprised to learn over steaks and lobster tails that he had been through a similar experience in his not too distant past. Instead of crying into our beers, we laughed at some of the predicaments we had found ourselves in. It felt good to laugh with someone who knew what I had been through.

  It became quite obvious that our waitress was ready for us to move on when we lingered too long over dessert and coffee. Neither of us wanted to leave and we both were unsure of the next step. Our dallying around was cutting into her earning potential and it appeared to make her nervous. We left her a generous tip for her trouble when we couldn’t delay our goodbye any longer.

  “Can I call or text you while you’re in Spain covering soccer?” Garrett asked when he walked me to my car after we left the restaurant.

  “I’d like that.”

  Our friendship picked up from there over the next month. We tweeted and flirted publicly via Twitter and Instagram, which was a welcome change from having to hide all the damn time. Garrett was on my mind a lot when I had down time and his texts or calls never failed to bring a smile to my face. We went to lunches, dinner parties, museums, and many other places together. I finally got a glimpse of what a healthy relationship looked and felt like. Yet, it was Macio that came to me in my dreams.