Specter: Circuit Series Book One

by Dailey, Lacey

  She nodded again. “I was just caught off guard. I’m okay now.”

  I peeled myself off the ground and lifted the pizza, holding it out. “Do you wanna share?”

  She shook her head quickly. “No, thank you. I already ate.”

  “Okay.” I walked in to the kitchen and dropped it on the counter, grabbing a clean plate from the drying rack next to the sink and plopped a couple of pieces on top. I moved slow, knowing she was calculating my movements. After I’d snagged a paper towel, I walked back into the living room and dropped back down in my chair.

  For just feeling like I was thrown into outer space a minute before, I thought I did a good job of acting natural. I took a bite, feeling all sorts of self-conscious she was watching me eat.

  “Your friend seemed to think you eat too much pizza.”

  “My friend is correct.” I wiped my mouth with my paper towel. “I don’t cook.”

  “Me either. My mother is an excellent cook though.”

  “Yeah? What’s your favorite thing she makes?”

  She seemed to consider my question while I chewed. “My favorite meal or just anything?”

  “Anything.”

  “Zucchini bread.” Her answer rolled right off her tongue. “I could eat it for every meal.”

  “Zucchini bread? Like bread made of vegetables?”

  “Sort of.” She smiled again. It wasn’t as large as the first one I’d seen, but it affected me all the same. “Have you ever had it?”

  “No. The vegetables I eat are usually on a pizza.”

  Her smile stayed intact. “It’s really good. Plus, it’s kind of like the best of both worlds since you can say you’re eating vegetables, but you’re also consuming a mass amount of carbs.”

  “Now, you’re speaking my language.”

  “What’s your favorite thing?”

  “Diet Coke.” I pointed at the 2 liters resting next to her feet. “It’s an obsession.”

  She looked down, inspecting the bottle that’s half gone. Her eyebrow raised. “Diet Coke is your favorite food?”

  “Yes. Without a doubt. Take away my pizza and give me a Diet Coke. I’ll survive.”

  “You’ll only survive for like three days. You’ll need water.”

  “Ah.” I set my empty plate aside. “Easy. Put ice in the Diet Coke. Then you just wait for it to melt and boom, ya got yourself some water.”

  Her grin exploded. “That’s ridiculous! Why not just have water?”

  “I would rather have flat Diet Coke than a bottled water.”

  “I guess it's good that it's diet. You’d have so many cavities.”

  I feigned hurt. “I’ll have you know I have never had a cavity.”

  “I’ve had four.”

  I smirked. “Looks like I’m not the only one with an obsession.”

  Her cheeks turned a warm red color. “I have a thing for butterscotch candies.”

  “Like the old people candy everybody’s grandma has in their purse?”

  “More than just old people enjoy butterscotch candies.” She argued.

  “Really? I’ve never met another person who enjoys butterscotch candy. Do you have a club?”

  She gasped. “You’re kind of a giant butthead.”

  A burst of laughter rattled my chest. I had never been so happy to be called a butthead before. More so, I knew just by her demeanor I hadn’t upset her. By the small smile still molded on her lips and the way her muscles had relaxed into the couch, I knew she wasn’t mad.

  “I tried to buy them at the candy store when I was there.” She said. “But they no longer carry them.”

  “Have you tried Amazon? Amazon has everything.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t spend a lot of time online anymore.”

  “I could order it for you.” I threw the suggestion out there, hoping it sounded as genuine as I meant it. She’d bought me all these gifts, the least I could do was buy her some old lady purse candy. “I was on Amazon earlier looking for a new computer chair.”

  “Oh. You have a desk?” She looked around the room. “In your bedroom?”

  “At Circuit.” I explained. “My chair right now is two spins away from mass destruction.”

  “Did you find one you liked?”

  “Not yet, but I’m really not that picky. As long as it has armrests and a lot of butt cushion, I’m good as gold.”

  “You should get a yellow one.” She announced.

  “Done.” It was the easiest decision I ever made. Even if it turned out to be the least comfortable chair I ever owned, it would remind me of her. And that it would reside in the place I played a part in changing her life seemed perfect to me. “My phone is on the cushion next to you. Amazon is already loaded. Go ahead and pick one.”

  “Me?” She jerked backward. “You want me to choose it?”

  “Why not?” I shrugged. “I’m not picky.”

  Her eyes narrowed and her voice dropped. “What comes next?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well.” Her head dipped to the floor, and her muscles went back to mimicking a sheet of metal. “If I do this for you, what other things would you want me to do?”

  The question tugged aggressively at my heart. I closed my eyes and took a long breath, repressing the urge to kick something across the room. I had no idea what she’d experienced, but that one question opened up a floodgate of possibilities my mind could not handle. What’s more, my mind couldn’t handle that she had no choice but to constantly re-live it.

  “Sage.” I cleared my throat, rolling my neck to loosen all the muscles that just went stiff. “I’m still a stranger to you. I know that. You have no reason to trust me yet, but I swear on your grandma’s candies and the last bottle of Diet Coke in the world, I would never force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

  She took a long time and seemed to truly consider my words. Maybe she also considered my character, the person I’ve shown her I am up until this moment. I would never know what played out in her head, but I hoped with all there was inside me she liked what she found.

  After a long moment, she reached across the couch and lifted my iPhone. She hit the home button and gasped. “Wren! You don’t have a password on this thing? Don’t you have important stuff on here? You’re a… hacker.”

  I chuckled at the way she whispered hacker as if it were a dirty word. “Don’t really have any incriminating evidence on my cell phone. It’s all on my computer. And you need three passwords to open up that thing.”

  “One of them is probably Diet Coke.”

  I choked on my laughter. “Now who’s being a butthead?”

  She shrugged. “Your obsession seems to show no bounds.”

  This girl was a riot. I wondered when the last time was that she was able to just relax and make jokes. When I thought about it, I didn’t like the answer I came up with. So I stopped thinking and just watched her. Her eyes scrolled with the screen as she took in all the possibilities. She pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth, a deep wrinkle forming on her forehead as if she were working every piece of her brain. I found it endearing she was putting so much effort into choosing me a chair. Then again, everything I’ve seen of Sage so far told me she didn’t do anything without putting in all her effort. She could have easily mailed a package, or sent a simple thank you note. But not Sage. She wrapped them and hand delivered them all by herself. Sage didn’t seem to do anything halfway.

  “Any luck?” I quipped, resisting the urge to lean over and peer at the screen.

  She nodded quickly and passed me the phone. “This one. It looks badass. Also, it’s yellow.”

  I took the screen, grinning at the one she’d chosen. It was a gamer chair. The seat and backrest were covered in bright yellow fabric with small accents of black. There were sturdy silver armrests that looped into a cool design and had a high headrest. I clicked the purchase button without bothering to look at a price.

  “It’s perfect, Sage.” I set m
y phone on my lap and flashed her the most genuine smile I was capable of. “Thank you.”

  “You’re very welcome.” She eyed the controller resting on the floor. “You like video games?”

  “Uhh, yes.” I laughed nervously. “It’s like all I do.”

  “What games do you like?”

  “I’ll play just about anything. Before you knocked, I was gonna play some Fortnite.”

  “Brett loves that one. My favorite is Super Smash Bros.”

  “Yeah?” I grinned like the damn Cheshire Cat. She likes video games. “You wanna play? I have it.”

  She pulled a phone from her back pocket, frowning at the screen. She started to fidget again before standing up. “I can’t. I should go before my parents find the American Girl Doll.”

  I stood up with her, frowning. “You aren’t allowed out of the house?”

  “Usually my brother comes with me.” She shrugged. “They worry when I leave, and I don’t like to make them worry.”

  I nodded with a small amount of understanding. I couldn’t imagine how scary it’d be to open a door and find your daughter missing… for the second time. Then again, I had to recognize that if she had to hide it from her family, it was a big deal for Sage to leave on her own. And that’s something that should be celebrated.

  “Thank you for letting me hang out.” She mumbled. “And for letting me choose you a chair.”

  “Thank you for my sunshine.”

  “Thank you for mine.” She quipped, rocking on her feet.

  The urge to lean forward and kiss her on the cheek hit me hard. I rocked backward like I’d just ran into a concrete wall. I felt like I was in sixth grade again, walking Jessica Scott to her front door after going to the movies in a group and holding hands the whole time. I thought she’d wanted me to kiss her. She didn’t. She smacked me in the face and wiped at her cheek like I’d just given her a flesh-eating disease.

  I made the wrong call then. I wouldn't do it again now.

  I pulled the door open for her. “You can stop by any time you want and get schooled in Super Smash.”

  “Oh, he’s full of himself, huh?” She’d flashed me her third smile of the night.

  Yes. I was counting.

  “It’s just the truth, Sage.” I shrugged. “I have Mondays and Wednesdays off if you ever want to come see for yourself.”

  She nodded. “I may do that. Thank you for the invite and for the company.”

  “Anytime.” I stressed.

  She lifted her hand in goodbye and scurried out the door, fast walking to the elevator. I watched her until she was inside and the doors slid shut. The second I pushed my own door closed, I’d cursed myself for not asking for a phone number. Not because I, ya know, wanted her number. But to make sure she’d gotten home okay.

  Though I suppose she was sick of people asking if she was okay. It’s clear that she wasn’t, but I had my fingers crossed she would be. After all, she didn’t just leave my sunshine at the doorstep.

  She brought it inside with her.

  And I can still feel the warmth it brought lingering everywhere.

  15

  Sage

  I woke up every morning to darkness. I had one window in my bedroom, right beside my bed. I’d requested my father board it shut when I came back home.

  He was more than happy to oblige.

  I liked the darkness. I was not afraid of what lingered in it. The worst of the worst had already snatched me up, and when my mind was being rational, I knew they couldn’t come back.

  I was comforted by the darkness because it’s what I knew. When you ask people what they’re most afraid of, it’s likely the answer they’ll give you will be something they’ve had no experience in.

  Trish was afraid of sharks.

  Why? I had no idea. She’d never come in contact with a shark before. Ever.

  People are afraid of what they aren’t familiar with. Things or situations they don’t know how to handle. Fear is powered by the unknown. It’s only when we are completely oblivious to what’s about to happen to us, or what is happening, does the panic cut off our air flow.

  I wasn’t afraid of the sun exactly. If anything, I was annoyed by it. Or simply what it did. The sun was a reminder to haul yourself out of bed and get on with living your life. But I had no life to live. And that’s what scared me. There were days I was incapable of even opening my eyes. Days where my brain rendered memories of Trish, flashbacks of bruises, handcuffs, guns, and blood. Nightmares where I’d been the one that killed my best friend.

  For months after I’d come home, my reasons to get out of bed were on a list that did not exist, and the sun only served as an ugly reminder. It felt like a slap in the face rather than the second chance it should’ve been. But how could I use the sun to remind myself to get up and keep living when I’d forgotten what living felt like? I didn’t know where I was going. All the unknown that circled my life was pure terror. I had no idea if I’d even be able to make my body work let alone be able to go out and experience life.

  I asked Julie all the time if I’d be like this forever. Not just scared of anything that walked, talked, or made a loud noise, but scared of myself and what I’d refused to do.

  The more time I’d spent with Julie and her little yellow pillow, the more I’d believed I would stop despising the sun and all it stood for. Day after day, I’d stare into the sun, fighting tears and wondering why I’d been given a second chance when I was too afraid to do anything with it.

  And then I’d realized I’d been counting on the wrong sun to wake me up. My sun was not in the sky.

  It was inside apartment 905.

  I peered up at the metal numbers that were screwed into the wooden door and lifted my hand to knock. I studied my fist and noted the way it seemed to be shaking less than it was a week ago when I was here. I knocked twice, making sure it was hard enough to be heard and waited. I hoped he wasn’t out with his friends or his sister. I should’ve come last week. I was all ready to go. I tucked in my old American Girl Doll and was halfway here before I chickened out and went home. I wish I could’ve warned him I was coming or simply asked if the invitation was still open. But it’s not like I have his phone number to give him a courtesy call.

  The door flung open. I rocked backward, peering into a face that was not the freckled one I was hoping to see. “Hey! Phantom girl!”

  “I’m sorry?”

  Ace’s grin went from ear to ear. He flipped his wild hair behind his shoulders and leaned against the doorframe. “Wren calls you his phantom girl. It’s adorable.”

  “Uhm…” I ignored that bizarre nickname and tilted my body to peer around him. His stocky body was taking up the width of the entire doorway. Standing on my toes to peer over his shoulder was no use either. “Is Wren here?”

  “Oh, yeah, girl. He’s in the bathroom. You want to come in and wait for him?”

  I opened my mouth to say yes before my instincts slammed it back shut. Ace didn’t seem threatening. He didn’t reek of violence or danger, but then again, neither did most killers. I liked to think my radar was good on spotting the people who’d found a sport in hurting others, but I couldn’t rely on my mind not to malfunction.

  I shook my head and took a step back. “No, thank you. I’ll wait for him here.”

  “Okay.” Ace shrugged and stayed where he was, looking relaxed as ever. He either was entirely oblivious to the fact I didn’t want to be alone with him or he just didn’t care. “Is it cool if I wait here too?”

  “Sure.” I took another step back, telling myself I was being rude but still giving in to the voice that said Wren wasn’t inside and Ace could drag me in at any moment. I did my best to remind my brain that Ace helped save me too.

  Wren was not superman, though when I was around him, it sure felt like he was.

  I barely flinched when I heard a door slam. Ace tilted his head and shouted into the apartment. “Yo, my freckled friend, your phantom girl is here!”

&n
bsp; There was the distinct sound of footsteps on hardwood floor before a flash of orange body checked Ace out of the doorway. Wren took over his spot with a wide grin on his face. “Sage! Hi.”

  His smile made the tremor in my hands loosen. “Hi.”

  The first time I saw Wren, I was terrified. He was a stranger, he was bigger than me, and he had the capabilities of knowing where I lived, where I slept, and probably how many times a day I used my electric toothbrush.

  But the more time I spent in his presence, I began to feel as though Wren seemed to know exactly what I needed in exactly the right amount.

  That sort of comfort was unfamiliar. Which is what made it terrifying. Was it possible to feel comforted by someone you’re afraid of?

  I wasn’t sure, but I knew better than to believe something that brought me joy wouldn’t turn into misery later on. But after an exhausting talk with Julie, I learned it was okay to clutch something that felt comforting. Exactly like I did with that little yellow pillow. I clutched the comfort I’d felt and basked in the sunshine that came with him being my happy place.

  Because somewhere along dropping off gifts, a hallway talk, and a moment in my counselor’s office, he’d become my sun.

  And I wanted him to know it.

  “Did you come to hang out?” The hope lingering in his voice made my heart speed up in a way it hadn’t ever before. It wasn’t fear or adrenaline. It was excitement. And though it was unfamiliar, it wasn’t too scary.

  “Yes, if that’s still okay.”

  “Of course it is.” He angled his body and let me into his home.

  I kept a firm eye on Ace, watching his movements and growing confused at the smirk on his face. He padded to the living room and plopped down on the couch, distancing himself from Wren and I. I suspected that was for my benefit, and one day, I’d able to admit how much I appreciated it.

  Wren shut the door behind me. “Are you still up for a night of Super Smash?”

  I nodded and held out the dish I had a death grip on. “I brought you zucchini bread if you want to try it.”

  He took it from my grasp with a smile. “She leaves me presents and she feeds me.”