Specter: Circuit Series Book One

by Dailey, Lacey

  “All the time.” He answered. “Pizza for dinner and sandwiches for lunch.”

  “That sounds terribly unhealthy.”

  “Oh, it is.” He chuckled. “But don’t tell Pepperoni Pauly I said so.”

  “Pepperoni who?”

  He let go of my hand to point at the large man with the round face that was making the old lady’s sandwich. “Pepperoni Pauly is one of the owners. See that guy cashing people out?” I shifted my gaze to the left and found a shorter version of Pauly giving out napkins and taking money. “That’s his younger brother. Salami Sal. They own the place together.”

  I chuckled. “Do their birth certificates have those names on them? Or is that a Wren thing?”

  “I don’t know about their birth certificates, but their name tags say so. And that’s pretty much the same thing, right?”

  I smiled when he kissed my cheek. It wasn’t the first time he did it. The first time was after he’d given me the sunflower. I thought I was gonna collapse at the tingles that erupted in my bloodstream.

  When I giggled and leaned into the touch, he kissed my cheek again, forcing butterflies to erupt not just in my stomach, but anywhere inside my body they’d fit. I knew my face was red when I stepped up to order.

  Pepperoni Pauly smiled politely at me and then looked over my head to find Wren attached to me. “What’s up, Wren?” I rolled my eyes with a smirk. Does every restaurant worker know him by name? “You want the usual?”

  “You got it.” Wren answered. “My girl wants to order too. Sage?” Wren prompted. “You know what you want?”

  I shook my head, gazing up at the large menus hanging on the wall above Pauly and Sal’s heads. All this time in line and I didn’t glance at it once. There were a lot of choices. Holy shit, how many things can one person put on a sandwich? It wasn’t that hard. People liked what they liked, and I had my favorites, but it’d been a long time since I ordered a damn sandwich. Hell, this shop didn’t even exist two years ago.

  “Sage?”

  “I didn’t look at the menu.” I confessed. “There are a lot of choices.”

  “You can build your own.” Wren said. “Like Subway.”

  Pauly let out a rude noise. “Compare us to Subway again and you’ll get kicked out.”

  Wren chuckled, and I mumbled off the name of the first sandwich I saw on the menu. I wasn’t a picky eater, and judging by the way my stomach was rolling, I wasn’t going to eat it anyway.

  I widened my eyes and watched Pauly like a hawk. He didn’t turn around or move his hands out of my view once. I watched him carefully lay out slices of meat and cheese on a piece of bread. When he asked if I wanted it toasted and gestured to the oven behind him, I practically shouted at him not to move my sandwich. He slapped some veggies on top of the cheese while trying not to look at me like I was a lunatic.

  Except, I was a total lunatic.

  That was made even more evident when I scrambled out of Wren’s hold and took off down the line so I could watch the salami brother roll it up in wax paper and smack a sticker with the business’s logo on it. He pushed it across the counter and punched some things into the computer. My hands shook as I reached into the small purse slung around my body and produced some cash. I dropped the change he tried to give me twice before cursing at myself and chucking it into the tip jar. I grabbed the sandwich I knew for sure I wasn’t going to eat and just about smashed the thing between my nervous fists.

  “Good job, Sunshine.” Wren appeared beside me and grabbed his own sandwich, swiping a credit card. “I would’ve bought yours, ya know.”

  I nodded and watched him sign a receipt. “I wanted to do it by myself.”

  He grabbed my hand, trying hard not to be affected by my words. It’d been a really long time since I’d done something for myself and by myself. He knew that as well as I did. Buying a sandwich wasn’t a huge victory, but it was a step I couldn’t take yesterday. “Proud of you.” He mumbled, pulling me from the counter.

  He put his arm around me and dodged the groups of people, leading me to a small table in the corner and away from the chaos. It was bright red and made of hard plastic. The chairs were made exactly the same with the logo stuck to the back. I took a seat across from Wren and hoped the small chair wouldn’t tip over from the force of my bouncing legs.

  “How do you feel?” He asked.

  “Like I’m gonna barf up the waffles I ate for breakfast.”

  He reached for my hand across the table. I gave it willingly, not caring at all my arm hair was now stuck to a sticky substance that hadn’t been wiped down before we claimed the table. “I’m really happy you called me to be here.”

  “Wouldn’t have made it to the counter without you here.”

  His lips quirked. He felt the weight of my words but didn’t make a big deal over them. “I guess I’m pretty cool then.”

  “Julie is gonna lose her shit.”

  “I like Julie.” He said, taking his hand back and unrolling the wax paper that contained his food. “She’s really nice.”

  “You’re saying that because she loves you.” I watched him take a bite and wink at me. He didn’t glance at the half smushed sandwich sitting in front of me. But I knew he’d ask eventually.

  “What’s not to love?”

  “Careful.” I chuckled. “You’re starting to sound like Ace.”

  Wren met Julie the day he showed up at my house to surprise me with an oversized sunflower. The second my mom witnessed me hanging off Wren, she’d called Julie. Jules showed up in a bright blue jumpsuit, bouncing around in glee at the thought of meeting the man who’d become my exception. And Wren, bless his heart, stood there with his hand in mine while my dad glared at him and Julie fawned all over him.

  I sat in the living room with Wren and my parents and allowed Julie to be the mediator of the discussion I knew had to happen. I told my parents the truth and smiled sheepishly when I explained the American Girl Doll Method. After I told them how many nights I spent hanging out with Wren in his apartment, my dad went from glaring at Wren to looking as though he wanted to strangle him. It took Julie, and a lot of frustrated tears from me, for my parents not to see Wren as a threat or a man with danger stamped across his forehead. My parents agreed to accept my visits with Wren as long as I agreed to stop lying about them. I’m not sure I would’ve agreed so quickly if I knew that agreement was also me signing an invisible contract that said my mom was going to text me every ten minutes, and my dad was gonna drop me off and wait in the parking lot the entire time I spent with Wren. I tried hard not to let it annoy me. My parents went through hell when I went missing and were prepared to take every action possible to ensure that would never happen again. I was grateful and frustrated all the same. Then again, they didn’t know who Wren was or why he’d become so important to me. If they knew what he did for me, they’d kiss his feet.

  “Thank you for staying that day.” I said, watching him eat. “I’m sure it was weird.”

  He glanced up at me, licking Italian dressing off his bottom lip. “What was?”

  “Being in attendance for an impromptu counseling session in my living room.”

  “Why do you think that was weird for me?”

  “Uh, because I even need counseling in the first place?”

  His lips flattened. “You need counseling because you went through something painful and traumatic. Don’t start apologizing for healing, Sage.”

  “I’m not.” I argued. “I’m just saying I recognize that it was probably really awkward for you, and I’m grateful you were there.”

  “It wasn’t that awkward.” He said, and I knew he wasn’t just saying that to placate me or get me to shut up. If he said it, he meant it. And that’s what I loved about being around Wren. He never lied to me or held back his thoughts. “Babe, I honestly didn’t mind being there. I’ll go anytime you think you need me.”

  “So every time I go then?” I teased.

  “You don’t need me every time
.” He shook his head with a smirk. “You’re tough, Sage Maddison.” He gestured at my sandwich. “Look how far you’ve come in just the few months I’ve known you.”

  I snorted. “Because of you.”

  “I don’t believe that. I didn’t make you do anything, Sunshine. You made the choice, I just held your hand.”

  I gave him a smile and nodded my head as if I agreed with him. Honestly? I wasn’t so sure. I was a hermit before Wren came along and entirely happy with being one. I dealt with the pain and the darkness, not putting in half as much effort to heal until I met him. I don’t know what that said about me. Every self-help book in the history of America probably said I shouldn’t be doing it for a person I’d only known for a few months. But for some odd reason, the idea that Wren spent hours on end saving me was like a slap to the face to recognize I was worth saving.

  “Thank you.”

  “What are you thanking me for this time?” He gave me a knowing look.

  I rolled my eyes with a chuckle. “I suppose for sitting here watching me stare at a mangled sandwich.”

  “It’s not mangled.” He protested. “Just a little... dented.”

  “Dented?” I snorted, looking at the way I’d practically folded my sandwich in half while I twisted it nervously in my grip. The wax paper was torn down the middle and pieces of lettuce were poking out of the tear. A pool of mayo was getting all over the table. “This sandwich is more than dented.”

  “I’m sure it tastes fine though.” He shrugged. “If you wanna give it a shot.”

  “Nope. I don’t.”

  “Alright.” He reached across the table and drug my sad excuse for a sandwich toward him. “I’ll eat it then.”

  “You hate mayo.”

  “What?” He feigned confusion, pretending he doesn’t remember the night we spent two hours talking about the foods that made us groan and the foods that made us hurl. “I hate mayo? Since when?”

  “Since forever.” I watched, my brow wrinkling when he unrolled the wax paper and tore the sandwich down the middle. Lettuce and some pickles plopped onto the wax paper. He scooped them up with a pinch of his fingers, dropping them into his mouth. There wasn’t a single moment of hesitation when he lifted one of the halves and took a heaping bite.

  “This is good.” He talked with a mouthful, and my oh my that sweet man didn’t even gag when the mayo hit his tongue and slid down his throat. He even licked it off his top lip without making a face of disgust. I was so damn confused as to why he was torturing himself with a sandwich dressing over my seven-dollar lunch.

  Then it dawned on me.

  He was showing me it was safe.

  I sat there across from him, my jaw resting on top of the table while he ate that thing like it was his last meal. He mumbled many times, telling me how good it tasted. That it was the best sandwich he’d ever eaten. He scooped up all the veggies that fell out of the bottom and ate those too. His stomach was probably rolling. No doubt his taste buds were screaming at him.

  He didn’t complain once.

  He finished the half and leaned back in his chair, grinning and patting his stomach. “Yum.”

  “You hate mayo.” I said it again because I wasn’t ready to address what he had done. He was clearly fine. His eyes weren’t drooping behind his glasses. He was still sitting upright in his chair. His chest wasn’t pumping at an accelerated rate.

  Wren was fine, and he was trying to show me I would be too.

  I cracked my knuckles to stall for time before stretching a few shaking fingers towards the wax paper. I pinched the corner and drug the other half of the catastrophe sandwich directly in front of me. I took a long, drawn-out breath, trying to get rid of the whatever was inside my body that made me want to pass out.

  It didn’t work. It never did, but I trudged forward anyway.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and lifted the sandwich, trying to pretend it was something my mother made in the safety of our home with groceries she'd bought herself and closely examined. I took a small bite, keeping my eyes closed as I chewed and swallowed. Before I even considered taking another bite, I sat there and studied the way my body was reacting. I waited to start floating. I waited for the moment that I’d longed for back in that run-down house but came to hate once I’d realized how much my brain had missed when it was rolling.

  It did not come.

  Not a damn thing happened. I wanted to cry right in the middle of that busy sandwich shop with two chubby brothers named after sandwich meat. Instead, I took another bite. A bigger one. I kept taking bites until the thing was gone and I was not high as a kite with a bag over my head.

  I lifted my chin and opened my eyes, finding Wren beaming at me. All the sun that was inside him had made its way to his eyeballs and was shooting directly into my chest. He looked absolutely enamored. “I am so damn proud of you, Sunshine.” He whispered. “I knew you could do it.”

  I gave him a weak smile. “I’m sorry you suffered through mayo for me.”

  “Psh.” He batted his hand at me. “For you? I’d do anything.”

  There was no missing the blush that crept up my cheeks. I could feel it. My face ignited like someone put a torch to it, and his freckles danced with his chuckle. “You are so damn cute.”

  “Are you flirting with me?”

  “I’m trying to. Do I suck at it? Should I pop the collar on my polo? Would that help?”

  “Oh, please do.” My cheeks rose watching him lift the collar on his polo of the day. Today, it was bright blue. The exact color of his badass crayon. I barked a laugh when he winked at me. “Looking good.”

  “Well if you think so, then it’s good enough for me.” He stood from his seat and gathered our trash, depositing it into the trashcan beside the front door before grabbing my hand and leading me out the glass door.

  We walked down the sidewalk, hand in hand. I’d parked right on the street, as close to the restaurant front as I could get. By the way Wren was walking, I knew he’d spotted the car and had intentions to make sure I got inside safely.

  Knowing him, he’d probably buckle the seatbelt and start the car.

  “So, are you gonna tell Brett about your deli victory?”

  “Yep.” I was still reluctant to share a lot of things with Brett, but victories did not fall under that category. “But I think Julie will be more excited. Add one more thing to list of reasons why she loves Wren.”

  “I have no idea why she loves me. Is she a fellow Diet Coke addict?”

  I nudged him with my hip. “No, you goon. I don’t think she’d ever say so, but she loves you because you saved me.”

  His hand jerked in mine. Both his feet stumbled on the concrete before coming to a complete halt. My arm twisted strangely when I tried to keep walking. “Wren?”

  He dropped my hand and stepped close to me. All the hair on my body stuck up at once as I peered anxiously around the town, looking for the reason why Wren had stopped so abruptly.

  “Wren, what’s wrong?”

  He moved so we were toe to toe and dropped his voice to barely a whisper. “Did you just say Julie loves me because I saved you?”

  “Yeah, I-"

  “Julie knows who I am?”

  My mouth went dry at his even tone. “Yeah, she… encouraged me to keep giving you gifts.”

  “You told a stranger I work for an illegal organization?”

  Sweat pooled in my hairline and ran down the back of my neck. “She isn’t a stranger. She’s my counselor. She knew everything from the beginning. Before I ever met you.”

  He pinched the bridge of his nose, his chest pumping.

  “She can’t say anything, Wren. I’m her patient. There are confidentiality laws.”

  “It doesn’t matter, Sage. How well do you even know her? How do you know she doesn’t have friends in the FBI?”

  “Wren, I… that’s crazy. Julie doesn’t have drinks with federal agents on the weekends.”

  “How. Do you. Know?” He clipped. “
Sage… that…” He took a long breath and a big step back.

  When he lifted his eyes, the sun in them was gone and replaced with a look I wasn’t familiar with. I hated it right away. His eyes wouldn’t meet mine, his shoulders were slumped. He looked… disappointed.

  There was a sharp twinge in my chest.

  “I’m sorry.” I choked. “I didn’t know you then, Wren. I just… I was telling her about the gifts and the way we met. I didn’t have anyone else to talk to. And then you were kind to me and for the first time in counseling, I found something that wasn’t painful to talk about.” I blinked fiercely to rid the burn in my eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Aw, Sunshine. Don’t cry. None of that.”

  “I didn’t realize how serious this was back then, Wren. I don’t want to let you down.”

  “You didn’t, Sage.” He sighed again and rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s just… I have to head to Circuit, okay? Let Cruz know somebody else knows.”

  “I fucked up really bad, huh?”

  “No, babe. I don’t mean to make you feel bad. We just keep tabs on anybody who knows. It’s a precaution, yeah?”

  I wiped at the corner of my eye. Why the hell was I even crying? Again, I had no idea. I thought it may have had something to do with the shame and embarrassment sitting on my chest. “She’s a good person. She won’t tell anyone.”

  “I believe you. It’s just something we have to do. Can you tell me her last name?”

  “Clemmons.” That was easy. Everybody called her Dr. or Mrs. Clemmons. I was the only one in her office who referred to her informally. “Julie Clemmons.”

  “Do you know anything else about her?”

  “Not really. She’s married. Has a cat. Likes bright colors. I think she said something about living in Florida once. She just… she seems pretty normal, Wren.”

  “I’m sure she is, Sunshine. I’m sorry for making you feel bad.”

  “I’m sorry for breaking your trust before I even had it.”

  “Come on now.” He came close again, palming my hip and kissing my cheek. “No trust is broken. You caught me off guard. I just gotta run down to the old lair and do some investigating. It’s all part of the job.”