Dare to Hold

by Carly Phillips

  But right now Grey had bigger concerns and turned to Simon. “I asked you if Avery Dare picked up the VIP tickets I told you to leave at the box office.”

  “Dunno.”

  Grey scowled at his manager’s I don’t give a shit tone. More and more lately, Simon’s lack of consideration about what the band wanted grated on Grey’s nerves. Lola might be considering using him for her solo career but anything Grey did going forward wouldn’t be with the man.

  At least he’d left the tickets. He’d be out of a job if he screwed with Grey on this. “Fucking find out.”

  “What’s so special about this piece of ass?” Simon barely got the words out because Grey grabbed him by his collared shirt and pinned him up against the wall.

  “Talk about her like that again and you’re done.”

  “Whoah.” Lola put her petite body between them, pushing Grey away from their manager. “Everyone breathe,” she muttered. “You. Go take a walk and calm down before your company shows up,” she ordered Grey.

  He stormed off, missing whatever lecture she gave to Simon next.

  Though the man had done his job well, helping maneuver Tangled Royal to the top, he cared about the bottom line and not much else. Especially not the fact that Tangled Royal was more than a band, people with real feelings, issues and lives. No wonder Simon didn’t believe how serious both Grey and Lola were about changing their futures.

  Danny Bills, their drummer, already had a wife and two daughters who lived in L.A. He was ready for home time and everyone knew it. Milo was another story. If he didn’t stop the drugs he wouldn’t have a future.

  As for Grey, he hoped for more than the travel and fame that had been so important to him way back when.

  His eyes flickered to the door. No sign of Avery. He tipped his head back, wondering if she’d come back stage or ignore the invitation … and him. His stomach gripped painfully at the thought of not seeing her again. She was the one person who not only understood the loner musician he’d been as a teen, but who grounded him when he threatened to spiral. Along with her soft voice, that thick mane of dark hair, and those lavender like eyes, she’d burrowed someplace deep inside him.

  But she hadn’t been enough to hold him, not when fame, fortune and the need to be something more, lived within him. But it was Avery whose face he saw in the nameless women he’d fucked over the years. Avery whose belief in him kept him going when times were hard. Funny how that worked. He wondered if she thought of him over the years and if she was as hyped up about possibly seeing him again now.

  A loud scream brought him out of his thoughts. He glanced up as a group of women poured into the room. Half dressed, teased hair, too much makeup and enough perfume to make him gag. Fucking Simon never listened. He’d specifically told Simon not to let any of their crazed female fans backstage.

  Grey pushed himself off the wall and stormed over to his manager. “I told you no more groupies after concerts.” Especially not tonight when he was expecting Avery.

  He shot a disgusted look at the women fawning over a dazed Milo. They wouldn’t give a shit if he was dead, they’d want a piece of him anyway. The thought disgusted him.

  “Wasn’t me, security obviously didn’t get the message,” Simon said.

  “Grey!”

  He glanced up just as a woman he recognized threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Her big, fake breasts pressed uncomfortably against his chest, and she raked her clawed nails through his scalp.

  “Baby you were so good! So hot. I just knew you were singing directly to me.”

  He choked over her sickly sweet scent. More because he’d been dumb enough to screw her once, years ago, after a concert and way too much to drink. She’d been trailing after him ever since. He attempted to detangle himself from her, but she wasn’t letting go. This was why it was time to call it quits.

  “Marco!” Grey called out for the bodyguard who usually prevented him from being mauled, but the guy was nowhere to be found. Beside him, Simon merely grinned, pleased with the fact that the band was liked, wanted and making him money.

  “Back off,” Grey said to the woman, pulling at her arms but she had them locked tight around him.

  “Baby, you don’t mean that.”

  “Oh I really fucking do.” He glanced over hoping to catch Lola or Danny’s attention and get help when his gaze fell on the woman who had just entered the room.

  She was so beautiful she took his breath away. Wholesome yet sexy, creamy skin, gorgeous silky hair and a nervous expression on her face as she looked around, a stark contrast to the harsher looking groupies who followed the band.

  And she hadn’t seen him yet.

  Left with no choice, he was going to have to physically extricate himself from the clinging octopus of a woman even if he hurt her. He grasped her around the waist, intending to shove hard, just as Avery’s gaze landed on him, her eyes flickering from him to the woman he looked like he was holding in his arms.

  A flash of emotion flickered across her expressive face. Everything from awareness, shock, disgust and hurt all showed before she swung around and headed for the door.

  “Avery!” He called her name loud enough to be heard across the room, while shoving the groupie, sending her tripping backward.

  She wailed and began crying, and her friends surrounded her but Grey ignored her in favor of Avery.

  He reached the door just as she paused and turned to him. “I shouldn’t have come.”

  “Yes, you should have.” She was so close he could see the light sprinkling of freckles on the bridge of her nose and his heart threatened to pound out of his chest. “This isn’t what it looks like.”

  She tipped her head to one side. “But it is your life. The one you worked hard to achieve and … I’m happy for you.” But the words were at odds with the sad smile lifting her glossed lips. “It’s good to see you, Grey.” She raised a hand his way before she turned and walked out.

  Shit. “Avery!” He stepped into the hall.

  “Grey! I’ve got Rolling Stone on the phone and they want an interview. I need an answer now,” Simon said, seeking his attention.

  A glanced back told Grey that Avery had gotten lost in the crowd held back by security. His head pounding, he walked back inside, ignoring his manager.

  “Was that her?” Lola came up beside him, her voice soothing in light of the chaos swirling around him.

  “Was is the right word,” he muttered. “I can’t do this anymore, Lo.”

  “I hear you. It’s not good for us. Rep doesn’t like the crap that comes with our kind of life either,” she said of her serious boyfriend who was the Miami Thunder’s hugely successful wide receiver. “I want to be around during the season and he worries when we’re on the road and he can’t be there.” She rested her head on his arm. “We do have a tour to finish though.”

  “We do,” he agreed. “But afterwards? I’m coming home.” And he was going to get his girl.

  Chapter One

  Three Months Later

  Avery Dare stared at the blank screen on her computer, surprised that no snappy topic or product came to mind for an upcoming blog, despite the piles of free product that had been sent to her for testing. One of the perks of being a professional blogger with a huge online social media presence, she received packages from companies looking for her to pimp their goods. It was a cool job she’d somehow turned into a career and she loved it. She enjoyed interacting with people online, discussing things they had in common, helping people be their better self, as she liked to call it.

  She’d always managed to keep her online persona and her real self separate. Even if her sister and friends read and interacted there, her readers looked at Avery as one of them … someone who loved the newest Louis Vuitton handbag but wouldn’t necessarily be able to go out and afford to buy it. She wasn’t about flaunting her family name or wealth and apparently her fans enjoyed that about her too.

  A familiar ding alerted her
to incoming emails and she clicked back to her mail program. An alert from a local gossip blog caught her eye and she read the subject.

  Reports of Tangled Royal breakup confirmed.

  Avery’s stomach lurched at the mention of the band’s name and she bit down on her lower lip, memories of going to visit her high school boyfriend after his concert weighing on her. It wasn’t like she was naïve or stupid. She knew what kind of life a rock star of Grey’s magnitude lived. And if she hadn’t known, she’d been forced to see the pictures and snippets of information over the years by virtue of the same magazines she read to keep her blog current.

  But seeing pictures of a guy she’d known in the past and having to face it up close and personal when she’d thought she would be seeing him in private … that had hurt. And the vision of the bleached blonde wrapped around his body while other women, dressed equally as skanky, surrounded the band, merely reminded Avery of how different their lifestyles were. And how they each, always, wanted very different things. So she’d left the room before they could do more than look into each other’s eyes … knowing she had to protect herself because one look at his handsome face, more mature, but still the same features she used to love, had hit her hard.

  He hadn’t given up. Over the last few weeks, every time she posted something meaningful on her blog, like a hot new handbag she liked or a perfume she sampled, the same product ended up being sent to her doorstep. Giftwrapped beautifully, with a short card attached. I’m sorry – G. Give me another chance – G. Call you when I’m back in town – G. Can’t wait to see you – G. Missed you all these years – G.

  Yeah, that last one got to her most. Because she’d missed him too. Then, as routinely as they’d arrived, the gifts had stopped. And she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d decided she wasn’t worth the effort, not when he had all those groupies at his disposal. She’d tried to put him out of her mind, but it wasn’t easy.

  Her finger hovered over the keyboard before she finally gave in and opened the email and read the alert in its entirety.

  Grey Kingston sighted in and around Miami and South Beach over the last week while bassist Milo Davis settles into L.A., adding fuel to the rumors that the band is going their separate ways.

  So he was here. Back in Miami. And so much for his promise to contact her when he was back in town. She shouldn’t be all that surprised. Just another let down by the man who’d stolen her heart. Only recently had she come to realize she’d never really gotten it back.

  “You okay?” her roommate asked, peeking into her bedroom.

  Avery pushed her chair back and grinned at Ella Williams, her once pen pal and best friend for what felt like forever. Ella had moved into the spare bedroom when Avery’s sister, Olivia, moved out and married Dylan Rhodes.

  “I am awesome,” Avery said, turning her back on the screen behind her.

  “And I don’t believe you.” Ella plopped down on Avery’s bed, curling her legs beneath her. Her damp, light brown hair hung around her face and because she had silky fine hair, she wouldn’t have to do much to make it shine. Unlike Avery who had to work hard to get the flat-ironed look.

  “You’re awesome?” Ella asked, in a mimic of Avery’s forced high pitched tone. She pinned Avery with a knowing stare and didn’t look away.

  “Okay fine. I’m not awesome.” She’d never been able to lie to Ella, not since the day they’d met in the hospital when they were nine years old, each donating bone marrow to a relative.

  “I’m guessing Grey Kingston has something to do with you being distracted?” Ella asked.

  Avery pursed her lips and nodded. Though she hadn’t told her family what happened when she’d gone to see Grey backstage, she had confided in Ella. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to tell Olivia, but the time had never been right. First, Dylan’s old friend Meg had been in the hospital and they’d been busy with her troubles, and after Olivia’s life had fallen into place with a man she loved and a new start. Avery hadn’t wanted to burden her sister with her own issues.

  “Still no word from him?” Ella asked.

  “No. And I shouldn’t care. I mean I’m the one who told him to stop texting me and to focus on his tour.”

  “But he didn’t listen, if those gifts were anything to go by.”

  “No. He said he’d be in touch the next time he was in Miami.” Avery picked at a nonexistent piece of lint on her silk pants.

  “I’m sensing there’s more?” Ella pushed. Ella always pushed, never allowing Avery to escape into herself as she was prone to do.

  She swallowed over the surprisingly painful lump in her throat. “I just read he’s been back in town for the last week or so.”

  “And he still hasn’t been in touch.”

  “No. And I shouldn’t care! I don’t want to care.”

  “But you do.” Ella patted the space beside her and Avery crawled onto the mattress and curled up against her pillows.

  “I’m being ridiculous. I should be relieved. I saw him with those women and I ran from everything his lifestyle represents didn’t I?”

  “You did.”

  “So why do I care that he decided I’m not worth it?”

  “That’s not what he decided!” Ella exclaimed, shaking her head in frustration. “If I could wrap my hands around your father’s neck for all the insecurities he caused you, I would.”

  Avery blinked back tears, surprised by the heavy emotion in her friend’s voice.

  “I’ve known you for a long time and you’ve told me things your siblings don’t even know, right?”

  Avery nodded. Ella had always been her safe place. Grey had too … once. She pushed the thought aside.

  “Then you know I’m right. You still feel like all you were worth to your dad was the bone marrow to save a sister you didn’t even know about. Then Grey left you to find fame and fortune and you’ve convinced yourself nobody views you as worthy enough. Well I’m here to tell you that you are.” She grasped Avery’s hands. “Mr. Tangled Royal would be lucky to have you in his life. Not the other way around.”

  Avery blew out a deep breath. “You’re right. Dealing with him has made me feel like I’m back in high school all over again and I’m not. I’ve moved on.”

  Ella eyed her with a mixture of amusement and laughter. “Now I don’t know if I’d go that far.”

  Avery smacked her with the nearest throw pillow and her friend laughed.

  “But I would say you’ve grown up a lot since you two saw each other last. With a little luck, so has he. So if he does get in touch and he wants to get together, I think you owe it to yourself to meet up with him. Think closure, if nothing else.”

  “When did you get so smart?” Avery asked.

  “The day you became my best friend.” Ella grinned. “Besides it’s easy to give advice to someone else about their love life.”

  As open as Ella was with most things, she didn’t talk much about her own guy situation. Mainly because she claimed there wasn’t anything to discuss, which made no sense because Ella was pretty, sweet, and any time she dressed up, she outshined everyone around her. She deserved a great man in her life.

  “Anything you want to talk about?” Avery asked, hoping for once her friend would open up.

  “Nope. I actually have to get to work. I promised my boss I’d meet with a new photographer she’s considering hiring.” Ella was an assistant to an up and coming fashion designer based out of Miami. Another reason they were such good friends, they shared a love of clothes, makeup and design.

  “Okay, well thanks for the talk,” Avery said.

  “Any time.” Ella pushed herself off the bed just as Avery’s cell dinged from across the room, announcing a text.

  “Toss me that before you go?”

  Ella grabbed the phone from beside the computer and squealed as she handed Avery the cell. “Looks like Mr. Tangled Royal surfaced.”

  Avery’s eyes opened wide as she stared at Grey’s name on the screen.

&
nbsp; “I’m calling later for all the details,” Ella called out with glee, before heading out of the room.

  * * *

  Grey listened to the cell phone ring, wondering if Avery would answer or if he’d waited too long. Tangled Royal had finished up their tour, throughout which Grey had sent a steady stream of gifts corresponding to the things Avery said she liked on her blog, Avery’s Attitude. He wished he could take credit for being so creatively smart, but it had been Lola’s idea, as a way to get back into Avery’s good graces. Or at the very least, it was a start.

  The first gift and card he’d sent contained his private cell and he’d asked her to text him. She had. Which had started a stilted and hesitant back and forth between them. Lola was right, it had been a good opening gambit. Then Milo had OD’d and everything in his life had screeched to a halt as they’d tried to help their friend. The early days of rehab hadn’t been easy. He’d threatened to leave, Lola had cried, Grey had begged and done everything short of taking his best friend’s place himself, to get him to stick it out.

  By then the band had fulfilled their concert commitments. Lola had cemented her relationship with Rep and decided to buy a place on secluded, private Star Island, and Grey had put in motion the process of buying out both Lola and Rep’s leases. The condo board had finally approved his application, speeding things up because of his interest in the two apartments on the same floor. Lola’s side, he intended to turn into a sound proof studio.

  He was finally ready to come home.

  All of which had occupied his time. Not to the exclusion of Avery. Never that. He just wanted to be settled before approaching her again. If they had any chance of seeing what could be in the future, she had to believe the life he desired now wasn’t the one he’d wanted then. Or the one she’d seen backstage.

  Just as he thought her voicemail would pick up, he heard her familiar voice. “Hello?”

  The soft, dulcet tones settled something deep in his bones. “Hey there,” he said, suddenly at a loss for how to handle her.