A Forever Kind of Family

by Brenda Harlen

  “The custody hearing is why we got married,” she reminded him.

  “One of the reasons,” he agreed. “So where would you like to go? I know it’s short notice, but I figured we could squeeze in a trip while Coffee Time is on hiatus. With or without Oliver—your choice. But I have to tell you, my mom is pushing for us to leave the little guy with her.”

  It was an incredibly romantic gesture, and the idea of spending a few days on a beach somewhere with Ryan was undeniably tempting. Almost tempting enough to make her forget that she’d already committed to being in Miami the following week.

  “Actually, I have to be in Florida on Monday,” she told him.

  “Why?”

  “I got a call from Annette Grantham at WMBT. She’s looking for a new executive producer for Mid-Day Miami and wants to interview me.”

  “When’s the interview?”

  “Ten a.m. Monday morning.”

  “Miami isn’t Jamaica,” he said. “But that could work.”

  She shook her head. “It’s a job interview, not a vacation.”

  “There’s no reason we couldn’t spend a few days at the beach after the interview,” he said.

  “Having you there might be too much of a distraction.”

  “Then I’ll come Monday night.”

  It sounded perfectly reasonable, but Harper wasn’t feeling reasonable. The call had been unexpected and so were the emotions churning inside her. This was what she’d wanted for so long, and now that she was on the cusp of getting what she’d wanted, she was feeling torn. Because as much as she wanted the job, she didn’t want to leave Ryan and Oliver—even for a few days. And the unexpected offer to go with her only added to Harper’s confusion.

  “I don’t need you there.” She’d worked hard to get where she was in her career, and she’d done it on her own. His unexpected show of support didn’t just surprise her—it worried her, as if sharing any part of this trip with him would somehow make the opportunity less than her own. She knew it didn’t make sense, but it was how she felt.

  She didn’t need him there, but there was a part of her—maybe the biggest part—that did want him there. And the wanting scared her. She couldn’t let herself rely on him, because then she’d be lost without him when he was gone.

  She looked at the rings on her finger, the beautiful diamond solitaire he’d given to her the day he asked her to marry him and the matching band he’d slid on her finger when he promised to love, honor and cherish her. She’d spoken the same words to him, wanting to believe that their marriage would last forever but not really trusting that it could.

  “I know you don’t need me there,” he said patiently. “I was hoping you’d want me there. It doesn’t seem unreasonable to me that you’d discuss a major career relocation with your husband before you make a final decision.”

  Somehow those words were what she needed—his pointed reminder of their marital status gave her a target for all of her conflicted emotions. “I’m not giving up this opportunity just because I’m wearing your ring on my finger.”

  He drew back to look at her, his gaze intent—and showing a hint of frustration. “Do you think I would ask you to?”

  “I don’t know,” she admitted.

  “If that’s true, then you don’t know me at all.”

  “Maybe I don’t,” she allowed. “Everything happened so fast—too fast. I know we were both trying to do what was best for Oliver, but maybe playing at being a family—”

  “Is that what you think this is?” he interjected, his tone moving beyond frustration to anger now. “Some kind of elaborate make-believe?”

  He wasn’t just angry, she realized—he was hurt, and she was sorry for that, but she couldn’t back down. “Isn’t it?”

  “No. Our marriage is real. Our family is real. My feelings for you are real, dammit. I love you!” Then he drew in a breath and said it again, not yelling or swearing at her this time. “I love you, Harper.”

  She sat down, hard. Her knees felt like jelly. Her heart was pounding so hard and fast inside her chest she felt as if her ribs might crack. She wanted to believe him—she so desperately wanted to believe him! But she was wary. This was a man who had manipulated her into marriage to bolster their claim for custody. How could she be sure that he wasn’t using those words to manipulate her emotions to his own purposes now? The truth was, she couldn’t.

  He was silent, watching her, obviously waiting for some kind of response.

  “Your timing sucks,” she told him.

  One side of his mouth turned up a little. “I know. And my delivery could use some work, too.” He sat down beside her and took her hands in his. “But neither of those factors makes my feelings any less real.”

  Her throat was tight and her eyes burned. She knew he wanted her to say the words back to him, but she couldn’t. Because the truth was, she wasn’t sure how she felt. When she was with him, she felt as if she was finally where she belonged. But how much of that was directly linked to their desire to give Oliver the real family he’d lost when his parents were killed? The past few months had been such an emotional roller coaster that she honestly didn’t know.

  “Our lives have been in complete turmoil the past several months,” she pointed out to him. “It’s been a long and difficult journey and I’m so grateful that you were by my side through all of the highs and lows.”

  “You’re...grateful?”

  “I am,” she insisted, struggling to find the right words to explain. “I don’t know that I could have gotten through any of it on my own. But I can’t help but wonder if what we feel for one another would have developed outside this situation or if everything is tied up in our emotional connection to Oliver.”

  “You think I don’t know what’s in my own heart?”

  “I’m not sure I know what’s in mine,” she told him. “But I hope this trip to Miami will give me the time and space I need to figure it out.”

  “When are you leaving?”

  “I thought I’d fly out on Sunday.”

  “Why wait?” he said. “If you need time and space, why not go today?”

  She understood then how much she’d hurt him. Not on purpose, of course, but the lack of intent didn’t mitigate the result. She didn’t want to leave like this, but even if she stayed a few more days and tried to set things right, what purpose would that serve? It wasn’t as if she had any intention of changing her plans. She was still going to get on a plane to Miami to participate in the interview that had been offered to her.

  After that... Well, she’d figure that out after. For now they’d said everything they needed to say—and maybe more than they should have.

  “I’ll pick Oliver up on the way home,” she said.

  “Fine.”

  She glanced at the computer screen, at the white sand and turquoise water, and wondered if that might be the closest she would ever get to a honeymoon with her husband.

  * * *

  By the time Ryan got home from the office, Harper had her flight booked and her suitcase packed.

  “I guess you decided not to wait.”

  She looked at him, hurt and confusion and maybe a little bit of regret in her eyes. “You told me to go.”

  “Yeah, I did,” he acknowledged. “I just didn’t anticipate that you’d finally listen to something I said.”

  “A few days apart will be good for us.”

  He didn’t agree, but it was obvious that she’d made up her mind, so he only asked, “When will you be back?”

  “After my interview.”

  “Okay.”

  Oliver had been playing on the floor with his blocks; Coco was beside him chewing on a rope. She picked up the little boy and gave him a big hug and kiss. “Auntie Harper has to go bye-bye for a few days.”

  Oliver curled his fingers down to his palm, waving. “Bye-bye.”

  “You be a good boy for Uncle Ryan while I’m gone, okay?”

  “Bye-bye.”

  She smi
led, then pressed her lips together when they trembled as she put Oliver back in the middle of his blocks.

  “Can you text me your flight details?” he asked her.

  She nodded. “Sure.”

  He caught her hand as she reached the door, halting her departure just long enough to kiss her. He was mad and he was hurt, but he couldn’t let her leave with harsh words being the last thing they exchanged.

  She kissed him back, and when he finally let her go, there were tears in her eyes. Without another word, she walked out.

  Oliver toddled over to where Ryan stood at the window, watching as the taxi that carried Harper away from them backed out of the driveway. He lifted his hand and waved again. “Bye-bye.”

  Ryan watched until the vehicle was out of view, wondering if he’d done the right thing—letting her go. Not that he could have made her stay, but he could have gone with her. Of course, he still could, but she’d made it clear that this was something she wanted and needed to do on her own. Which meant that he had to let her—for better or for worse. But as he turned away from the window, he felt as if his heart was a lead weight inside his chest.

  He picked up Oliver and propped him on his hip. “Well, it looks like it’s just you and me, kid. So what should we do tonight—smoke cigars, drink beer and play poker?”

  “Po-ka.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Ryan said. “But maybe we should swap the cigars and beer for spaghetti and milk?”

  “Um,” Oliver agreed.

  * * *

  Spending the weekend in Miami sounded great in theory but was incredibly lonely in reality.

  Harper checked into her hotel, worked out in the gym, swam in the pool and watched a lot of WMBT. And she missed Ryan and Oliver—every minute of every day.

  On Sunday morning, she decided to track down an old friend who had moved to the Sunshine State a few years earlier. Paige was living in West Palm Beach now but was happy to make the trip to Miami to have dinner with Harper.

  They exchanged pleasantries, then talked a little bit about Harper’s upcoming interview and Paige’s work as an interior designer for the rich and outrageous.

  “And what’s Jim doing now?” she asked, naming her friend’s husband.

  “He’s managing a resort in Naples.”

  “Isn’t that on the other side of the state?”

  Paige nodded. “He moved there after the divorce, almost three years ago.”

  “I’m sorry—I didn’t realize you weren’t together anymore.”

  Her friend shrugged. “It wasn’t a particularly acrimonious split. It just turned out that, after five years together, we realized we didn’t even like one another all that much.”

  While Harper was glad that Paige wasn’t torn up over the demise of her marriage, it seemed sad to her that a couple who had exchanged vows could walk away from one another so easily. Sad but not really surprising, since it demonstrated a cavalier attitude similar to that demonstrated by her own parents.

  Maybe that was why when Ryan suggested marriage to strengthen their case for permanent custody of Oliver, she hadn’t really balked at the concept. Their marriage had been entered into for a specific purpose and without any illusions about happy-ever-after. If the marriage stopped working, for whatever reason, she expected they would simply part ways.

  It was only now that she realized she didn’t want a temporary marriage—she wanted a forever family, like Ryan’s family. And she wanted Ryan and Oliver to be part of that forever family.

  When she got back to her hotel later that night, she tried to focus on the interview that was scheduled for the following morning. She was excited but not worried, and while she believed she was ready for the challenges and capable of doing the job, she was no longer certain she wanted it.

  She tried to sleep, because she knew she shouldn’t go into the interview with shadows under her eyes, but it was too quiet. She was accustomed to hearing the sounds of Oliver rustling in his crib through the baby monitor and the steady rhythm of Ryan’s breathing from the pillow beside her.

  She hadn’t talked to him since she’d walked out of the house Friday night. She’d texted to let him know that her flight had landed and then again when she was checked into her hotel, but she hadn’t actually spoken to him since she’d left Charisma. She thought about calling, just to hear his voice, but the way they’d left things, she wasn’t sure he’d want to talk to her. And she’d rather not talk to him than risk an awkward or uncomfortable conversation. At least, that was what she’d told herself when she’d been tempted to pick up the phone Friday night and again Saturday night. But now she missed him so much she was almost desperate for the sound of his voice.

  She looked at the clock beside her bed. It was nearly midnight. She knew it was possible—probable, even—that he was still up, but she didn’t want to call now in case he was sleeping.

  She sent him a text message instead.

  Just wanted to say good-night to you and Oliver. xoxo

  His response came before she’d even set her phone back on the nightstand.

  we miss u lots sweet dreams xoxo

  It wasn’t quite as good as hearing his voice, but it made her feel a little better. She put the phone aside and tried to fall asleep.

  * * *

  She got another text from Ryan before she left the hotel the next morning.

  break a leg

  Short and simple, but somehow Harper knew that those three words represented so much more. It wasn’t just that he was wishing her luck—it was confirmation that he wanted her to succeed because it was what she wanted.

  He’d been nothing but supportive of her career, and she realized now how completely unfair it had been to suggest that he wouldn’t want her to pursue this opportunity. It had been equally unfair to make her plans without talking to him first. She’d been so focused on her own wants she hadn’t considered anything else.

  And while she could and did regret the way she’d handled the situation, she realized that she’d needed to take this trip without him. She’d needed the time and space away from Ryan to realize how much she didn’t want to be away from him.

  She walked into WMBT on Monday morning confident that she’d done her research on both the station and its head. The website photo showed Annette Grantham to be a serious-looking woman with short dark hair, intense blue eyes and a firm, unsmiling mouth. She’d worked in television for thirty-four years, had received numerous industry awards and been nominated for countless more.

  In person she was just as serious and direct—and a lot shorter than Harper had expected. About five-three, she guessed, with lots of energy packed into her compact body. She walked fast and talked even faster through a quick tour of the studio. She knew the names of every single studio employee, from casting directors to key grips to janitorial staff. But even more impressive was the obvious respect that each of those employees had for her.

  The more time Harper spent there, the more her interest was piqued. Mid-Day Miami was a high-profile show offering a significant increase in salary commensurate with a new title and responsibilities and a production schedule that wouldn’t require her to get out of bed when the sky was still dark.

  It was everything that she wanted—except that it was in Miami and Ryan and Oliver were in Charisma.

  If the job was offered and Harper turned it down, she could wait years before she saw another similar opportunity—if she ever did. But the thought of spending even a single day of those years without her husband and the little boy they both loved... She couldn’t do it. She didn’t want to do it.

  She shook Annette Grantham’s hand and thanked her for her time.

  “I’ll be in touch before the end of the week,” the senior VP of development promised.

  “I’ll look forward to hearing from you.”

  It wasn’t yet eleven o’clock when Harper walked out of the building, but the Florida sun was high in the sky and the air was already hot and sticky. She was looking f
orward to the return flight to Charisma with a much lighter heart than the one that had come here. Because she knew without a doubt now that she was in love with her husband, and at the very first opportunity, she was going to tell him so.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Harper intended to call Ryan from the airport, to tell him that she was on her way home, but he called her first.

  She suspected that he wanted to hear about her interview and was surprised when he didn’t even mention the purpose for her trip to Florida. Instead, he said, “I don’t want you to worry,” which, of course, immediately caused her to worry.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “There was a situation at the day care.”

  “Is Oliver hurt?”

  “No, he’s fine. But Aubrey showed up there today and told the supervisor that you’d sent her to pick him up.”

  “Ohmygod.” Harper’s knees buckled and she sank into an empty chair inside the departure lounge, her heart pounding and her head spinning. “They didn’t let her take him, did they?”

  “No,” he hastened to assure her. “Because she wasn’t on the approved list, they called me to ask if it was okay.”

  She felt sick to her stomach thinking about what could have happened if the day care had released Oliver to Aubrey. Would she have run away with him? Taken him to another country to live under an assumed name? She knew the possibility was far-fetched, but it did happen.

  Harper pressed a hand to her churning stomach. She’d found Aubrey’s determination to gain custody of her nephew a little extreme, but she’d trusted that the woman would abide by the judge’s ruling. The possibility that she might try to take Oliver against the explicit orders of the court had never crossed her mind.

  “Is Oliver with you now?”

  “I’m less than ten minutes from the day care,” he told her.

  She was grateful that he was, because she was in Florida, eight hundred miles away. She was suddenly and painfully aware of the distance, and she felt completely helpless and terrified.

  “I’ll call you back in a little while so you can talk to Oliver,” Ryan suggested.