“I promise we can have dinner tomorrow and watch a movie, okay?”
He puts on the sympathetic face he thinks he’s really good at, and I nod.
“Sure.”
He pats my leg and jogs upstairs to shower, because everyone showers before heading back into work for an emergency. I jump when I hear Tyler shout my name from the top of the steps, and his voice echo’s like a cannon throughout the house. I quickly head for the stairs, hurrying up them. He has a towel hanging around his waist, his hands on either hip, and he’s looking at me in irritation.
“Where’s my black Gucci suit?” he demands.
My brows furrow, because I know it was just delivered from the drycleaner on Monday. I make sure to always hang his suits in the order he prefers, color coordinated, and by brand. I swiftly move past him, practically jogging to his closet in our bedroom. My heart races because I know if the suit is not here, or not where it should be, he’s going to hit me.
My hands tremble as they go to where I know I hung it, and forgot that he’d purchased another Gucci suit, a dark grey recently, and the two are swapped in place. I lift onto my tip toes to extract the hanger from the bar that’s above my head, and bring it down in front of me, turning to give it to him. He’s directly behind me, and I step back just to create a little distance between us, causing me to bump into the hanging garments.
“Do you remember how I like my things organized?” he asks in a low voice, it oozes calmness, when he’s anything but calm.
“I do,” I nod, my eyes on my hand grasping the wooden hanger.
“When I go to my closet, I expect things to be where they’re supposed to be.”
I nod again, and his hand lifts to the side of my face. Instinctively I flinch, just before he tucks some hair behind my ear.
“Look at me Skye,” he hums.
I blink, then slowly trail my eyes up from my hand and over to him, meeting his eyes.
“What do you say?”
My lip involuntarily quivers, like I can already feel the pain he’s going to inflict.
“I’m sorry.”
The words barely pass my lips when the hand at the side of my head, slides up and grips my hair, before shoving me into the clothes. I fall against them, and then quickly my body is pulled back upright. One hand wraps around the front of my neck, the other around the back. He lifts me off my feet, and my hands cover his, my nails digging into his flesh, my feet kicking as my airflow is constricted to nothing.
“Why do you do these things, Skye? I think you do them on purpose,” he says matter-of-factly, while my eyes plead with him. “I just don’t know what will make you learn,” he adds.
My eyes begin to flutter, and I feel on the verge of losing consciousness, when suddenly his hands release me. I crash onto the floor, slumping down onto my side. I cough and gasp, my hands clutching my neck. Stars fill my eyes, and I blink rapidly to clear them. Tyler moves around the room as if I wasn’t even there, or like he didn’t almost just choke me to the point of blacking out. I’m able to get myself together, stumbling over to the bed to regain my composure while he finishes getting ready in the bathroom.
I finally make it back downstairs; I feel weird and a little out of it. Sitting on the couch, I stare blankly at the television. This isn’t the first time he’s hurt me, but that was definitely the first time I ever feared for my life. Reemerging back downstairs smelling of Hugo Boss cologne and wearing the grey Gucci suit with a black dress shirt. He blows me a kiss before grabbing his keys off the side table by the door, and leaving. He always acts as if nothing happened after he punishes me, and I don’t think it’s fake. I truly believe he thinks this is a normal way to treat someone, that I do things he doesn’t like and make him react like this. For me, this is my final straw, and I know I need to go before this gets worse, if that’s possible. With a new resolve and vowing to myself that I deserve better, I retrieve my phone to reply to Missy’s email.
To: Missy Frederickson
From: Skye Davenport
Subject: RE: Exciting news!
Yes, I will totally be there.
7
I decide I’m not telling Tyler I’m going to Plantain, I could make up something and say I’m going to my parents’ but for whatever reason, maybe knowing I’m going to see Drag, I also decide I’m going to use this time to get some distance from Tyler. I know this isn’t the life I want with him, that I can’t go into a marriage this way. But maybe when he realizes I need time he will get his shit together and go back to the man I thought I wanted to share the rest of my life with. A part of me hopes that Drag is with someone so I don’t feel like a fool for wanting to settle down with Tyler, or settle down at all for that matter.
Even though deep down I don’t think I could ever have feelings of love for Tyler after the way he’s treated me all these years, is it too late to love someone if they change? Grabbing a sheet of computer paper from his office, I write Tyler a letter saying I’ll be gone for the weekend and maybe longer, that I needed time and if he was willing to talk over the things that have been going on and his behavior he can call me, but only if he’s willing to talk.
I go into the master bathroom the morning after my email to Missy, and fish inside my makeup bag for the one piece of jewelry I still own, the silver belly button ring. Tyler told me it looked trashy and immature so I basically stopped wearing it, but when he’s gone for weekends or sometimes just around the house when he’s at work I would put the jewelry in to prevent the piercing from closing.
Every time I put it in I would picture Drags reaction to seeing it, his fingers running over the metal before he unbuttoned my jeans. Tossing only my makeup bag and phone charger into my purse, since I won’t need any of the clothes the stylist has filled my closet with. There aren’t even any flip-flops in there since those are ‘tacky,’ I have to stop somewhere along the way and get some clothes.
A few months ago, when I realized Tyler wasn’t just going to let me have my Subaru car keys for anything, I had a copy made. I often wondered why he didn’t buy me a new car early on in our relationship, since it was an ‘eye sore,’ but I quickly realized he never wanted me out of the house on my own so what did it matter. I toss my bag into the back seat, plug my iPod into the adapter and crank up “No Rain” by Blind Melon as I head out of town.
An hour into my trip I stop at a mall and go shopping for myself; me shopping for me. It seems like such a crazy concept, but it does take me several passes through the clothing racks to remember what I like. I grab some tank tops and two pairs of faded and already worn in looking pairs of jeans.
I go for a maxi dress that has block striping of navy and cream, with spaghetti straps and ruching below my breasts, loose enough that I don’t need to worry about a bra even though the v cuts down low between my breasts. It’s sexy and flirty but still classy and nice enough for a wedding, albeit a biker wedding, but still. Grabbing a few necklaces, a thick silver cuff, and some silver funky rings before I snag up some cream-colored sandals and head to the counter. I hand the cashier money that I had saved from when I worked at the auto body shop that Tyler didn’t know I still had.
I toss my purchases into the backseat and head towards Plantain, removing my engagement ring and putting it in my wallet. I get there in under a few hours and as soon as I see the sign that I’ve entered the town, I feel lighter, grounded and at home. Missy is standing on her front porch as I pull up the driveway. She and Sven live in the historical area of Plantain in a massive house. She looks amazing and if possible, younger. We’re all smiles as she runs to me, yes runs, and I can barely open my car door as she flings herself into me. Wrapping her arms around my shoulders.
“Jesus, if I knew a wedding invite would get you here, I’d made one up long ago.”
She steps back and looks at me, and continues to look at me, up and down and I know she’s not happy with what she sees. My already thin frame is thinner than when she last saw
me, all my muscle tone is gone from my days of yoga, my once always golden skin is now faded from being shut in my house.
“Skye,” she says, her eyes looking at me like I’m some pitiful homeless puppy.
“Missy, it’s-” I begin to shake my head.
“No, fuck that, no,” she stops me by wrapping me in her arms again. “I will not let you live like this…I knew he was an asshole when he stopped letting us talk, but I never thought…”
She looks down and takes my hands, focusing her attention on my left wrist as she twists my hand slowly to see the discolored skin from Tyler’s hand last night. Her face falls even more and I don’t know what to say.
“I’m a big girl,” I tilt my head to catch her eyes. “I’m fine, everything’s fine.”
She shakes her head and I know we will be talking later, but I don’t want to think about Tyler or Lancaster.
“Now let’s be happy and celebrate.” I smile and continue to smile, wider and wider until I feel like I look like a nutcase before Missy laughs and begrudgingly nods, turning us towards the house.
“Sven, grab Skye’s bags, hun,” she yells as soon as we enter the foyer
Sven appears from the kitchen and he looks older, I know he had a stroke while I’ve been gone and it killed me not to be here for Missy when all that went down. He gives me a warm smile and walks over to me, a slight limp to his left leg, surprising me with a hug. My eyes sting because this man who was my boss has never shown me such warmth before, I hug him back genuinely and pull back.
“Good to see you kid,” he says before pushing through the screen door and using the banister to walk down the porch.
“How is he?” I ask as Missy and I watch his retreating back.
“Good, every day he’s getting stronger, back to himself,” she smiles.
I turn to see her eyes glassy.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here,” I say.
She shakes her head with a dismissive wave of her hand.
“It was hard with you and Dornan and Maven gone…but it made me and him stronger, ya know?”
I nod, only imagining that kind of love.
“But now everyone’s home and I couldn’t be happier,” she smiles through the tears and hugs me again.
I get settled into one of the massive extra bedrooms in the house, hanging my dress for the wedding in the closet on a cloth hanger but leaving the rest of my things in my bags. I head back downstairs and Missy and Sven are sitting on the couch closely together and watching something on T.V. about motorcycles and I feel like I’m intruding but like a true mom Missy knows I’m there.
“Come in doll.”
I appear from my lurking around the corner and sit down in one of the two massive leather chairs beside the couch.
“So tonight is Maven’s bachelorette party, are you down for that or tired from driving?” she asks.
“No, no I’m good, sounds like fun, what are we doing?”
Both of them are staring at me and I don’t know why, do I look that different? I don’t want to stay in, I’ve been staying in for six years, I want to live and have fun.
“Karaoke!” she sing-songs and both Sven and I groan and then laugh.
“Oh come on,” she says, slapping at Sven’s arm. “Better than going to the club to play pool,” she teases.
I wonder if this is a cover for them going to the strip club the MC owns or if they are really going to play pool. Actually, I don’t know if they still own the clubs anymore. We sit a little while longer and then Missy heads upstairs to get ready, I just want to change my clothes before we go so I sit with Sven as we watch T.V. I’m startled when he speaks.
“So what do you do in Lancaster?”
“Um,” I sigh. “Nothing actually,” I laugh nervously because fuck that sounds stupid.
He looks at me like he can’t believe I just said that, since he knew when I worked for him I was always doing something, I worked at the shop and also picked up work if he needed at the used car lots. He knew I was being certified in yoga and I painted. He nods once and goes back to watching television and now things feel awkward. I wonder what he’s thinking, I wonder what Missy has told him on her impression of Tyler and now that he sees me looking the way I do…it starts to make me nervous for the wedding and seeing my old friends.
Will they look at me with pity like these two have been? Do I look that pathetic? I just need to put on the smile they are used to and act like nothing has changed, maybe no one will notice. Thirty minutes later I excuse myself and head up to change. I freshen up in only ten minutes and Missy’s exiting her bedroom at the same moment. She looks like she’s spent all day getting ready, not just an hour. She looks me over in my tank top, jeans, and flip-flops before nodding and taking my hand.
We head to the local tavern I know she and Gwen frequent to do karaoke and we are the last to arrive. The ladies are sitting at two rectangular tables pushed together, the top is covered with pitchers of beer and glasses along with several shot glasses. Maven is wearing a veil that has ‘bride’ in obnoxious bright pink in the tiara headband. She looks amazing, even more amazing than I remember and happy as hell. She’s sucking on a lemon along with Katie and Emily like they’ve just done shots.
“The party is here!” Missy shouts, alerting the table and the entire bar to our presence. I feel my cheeks flush slightly as all eyes turn to us. Maven leaps up from her seat and grabs Missy in a hug before she faces me and squeals slightly before hugging me tight. I hug her back and it occurs to me then that since I’ve been here in Plantain, I have been touched more in four hours than I have in the last six years. She pulls back and we look at each other, her eyes dim for a moment as she really looks at me but I just keep smiling.
“Congratulations Maven, I’m so happy for you two, and thank you so much for inviting me.”
“Thank you Skye, we’re all so happy you could come.”
Maven is so genuine; all these women are and they are just what I need right now. I sit down in between Missy and Gwen and immediately a beer mug is handed to me, I take a long drink and this feels so good, foreign but good. I can’t tell you the last time I did this, even before I met Tyler, college maybe? But fuck it feels good and fun and I love it.
I catch up with Maven and she tells me all about her two sons and I notice she isn’t drinking, I thought she was doing shots when I got here, but she keeps eating the lemons and skipping the shots. When she sees me studying her she simply says, “Dornan doesn’t want me sloppy tonight, he wants to proper fuck and when I drink I always pass out,” she shrugs.
“So tell me what’s going on with the guys?” I want to ask about Drag specifically but she doesn’t say anything about him for a while, she talks about how things have changed with the club in between telling me stories about living in Alaska thrown into her conversation.
“And Drag, girl wait ‘til you see him,” she says with wide eyes, putting a hand on my forearm, I raise my brows for her to continue as “Sex and Candy” begins in my head.
“He is like a new man; you won’t even believe it when you see him tomorrow.”
I want her to continue but she’s interrupted by everyone cheering as Missy takes the stage, clearing her throat and dedicating her song to the bride-to-be. I stand and walk towards the bathroom. It’s empty and I just need a moment to get myself together. Who knew just a sentence about Drag would send me into a tailspin. I would be seeing him tomorrow. I will see him tomorrow…see Drag tomorrow. I wonder if he’s at Dornan’s bachelor party, what he’s doing and a crest of anticipation takes over as the realization that we are in the same town tonight hits me.0
I look in the mirror and see the pasty skin of my face, my sunken eyes and I quickly turn on the sink to get out of my head and focus on the fun I’m having tonight. Washing my hands before retrieving my phone from my bag, there’s four missed calls and two messages. I dial the number to my voicemail, entering the passcode and I can
barely hear over the singing in the bar so I turn on speaker and set my phone on the counter.
“You have two unheard messages, first message sent today at 3:05pm.”
I know this is the dinner call from Tyler.
“Skye, it’s me, where are you? I’ll try calling the house, you better not be ignoring my call.”
“Press seven to delete or nine to save.”
I press seven and wait for the next message.
“Second unheard message sent today at 9:21pm.”
“What the fuck is this note? You need some time? What the fuck does that mean and if I want to call you I have to be willing to talk things over? Fuck that, you’re so fucking stupid if you think I would play by your rules…I will give you until Sunday to get your ass back here or I will come fucking find you and you know I fucking will Skye, don’t fuck with me or you will pay when you get home-”
The message gets cut off and I’m just standing there looking at my phone, the voice on the message asking me if I want to replay several times before I hit seven.
“Skye?” Maven’s voice startles me and I whirl around to see her in the doorway.
I know without asking that she’s just heard my messages. I tuck my phone into my purse as she walks closer. I can’t look at her and instead focus on the rock on her left ring finger as she clasps her hands together in front of her.
“That night at the club, when your ex…”
I have no idea why I chose this moment to tell her this and I stop to gather my thoughts while looking up at her. Her brow furrows in not understanding the topic change then shift to surprise at how I knew about that.
“I was there; you didn’t see me…I was with Drag…in his apartment.”
“What?” she asks more like she can’t believe I was with Drag.
“We didn’t know you-what was going on…we heard Dornan after and I think about it often and I’m so sorry we didn’t stop him hurting you-”
She halts my words by pulling me into her arms, hugging me so tightly but I return the hug just as fiercely, relieved that I got the admission off my chest after all this time. It really had bothered me since that night, I felt guilty at what Drag and I had done while she was mere feet away being assaulted.
Come as you Are: Plantain Series Book Two Page 5
