Prisoners of Paradise

by Brandon Lars Erikson

  CHAPTER 20

  Location: The Uluva Apartment and Shopping Complex…Downtown Polynea…Ailana

  Ailanian Standard Time: 2100 Hours.

  “DRUG ADDICTION IS KILLING AILANA! And we need to take drastic action to stop it right now!” High Senator Ulu Jinkua shouted from the monitor, as Ted Bobson inhaled Cutz smoke from his bong, and then leaned back in his easy chair. Ted had spent the entire day watching the news and heard politicians squabble about things he didn’t care about or understand. But the monotony of getting high alone while watching television had changed, he had company now.

  “So yeah, I guess in a way I’m like you,” Ted said to the very large man, who was looking quite relaxed as he lounged on the couch. All the furniture in the apartment was stained with some sort of food item. The couch that the large man sat on, had only three legs, and because of that, it had a strange tilt to it. Ted tried to become analytical as he lit up the bong, and took a long, deep drag. His mind was feeling contemplative. He paused for about fifteen seconds before exhaling the red smoke into the air.

  “So yeah, I’m actually someone important…” Ted coughed and tried to fan the smoke away, “I got this camera…in my eye…and it records all the action I see.”

  “No shit?” Bloke said as he began blinking his eyes in rapid succession, almost as if he could not believe what he had just heard. “So that means you’re an adapted human?”

  “Yeah…I guess…it’s kinda cool.”

  Bloke was curious as he asked, “So what do you do with that camera in your head?”

  “Oh I can’t tell ya, it’s like, top secret n’ shit,” Ted said as he leaned back and relaxed. However, despite all the technology and intelligence gathering capability he had recently inherited, Ted didn’t know of the secret that was about to boil over in the apartment’s messy kitchen where Jhett was having a discussion with a man named Shelby.

  Shelby was a bartender, and one of Ted’s good friends, who had been letting him crash on his couch between bar hopping binges. However, Ted had not told Shelby that he was a newly adapted human, who was officially employed by the CIA as a spy. Shelby had gladly opened his door to Ted this morning, but had reluctantly opened the door for Jhett, and Bloke, when they came to pay a visit later that evening.

  “Good to see ya, Shelby…how are you doing?” Jhett’s long hair was draping down over his shoulders. He looked as if he was talking to an old friend in a casual manner.

  Jhett noticed how Shelby looked a bit tense, as he leaned up against the wall. “I’m doing pretty good there Jhett. Shit, had I known you and Bloke were gonna stop by, I would have made some dinner. I got quite a few of those MEALS READY TO DIGEST in the fridge. I could have even picked up some chili from Zoppy’s”

  Jhett cocked his head to the side. “I’m afraid we don’t have had any time for such formalities, we’re not here on a social calling. This is business.”

  Out in the living room, which was littered with dirty clothes, and fast food wrappers, Bloke and Ted were indulging in some more conversation after smoking a few hits from the bong.

  “Dude, that is some cool ass shit,” Ted said bluntly, his eyes half closed, and appearing as if he barely comprehended what was happening. Bloke had unsheathed his fist saw, and was cutting two of the legs off the coffee table with it. Bloke smiled as he saw how the blade made easy work of the wooden legs, slicing them off within a span of a couple of seconds. The end of the coffee table, closest to the couch, fell to the floor and cups full of ashes and cigarette butts rolled onto the stained carpet.

  “So, let me get this straight,” Ted said, acting as if he were shaking off a punch. “Ya got these super-enhanced muscles that don’t fatigue as easily as regular guys would. Ya got a skeleton made of matrix metal. And ya got a camera in your left eye. And ya got the data processor in your skull so ya can store data and see at night, and see things from far away n’ shit. Ya got sensors to tell you when someone is coming or going, and you’re like, super strong n’ shit. But what the hell ya got a saw in your hand for?”

  “It’s just real nice to have when you need to kill someone in hand to hand combat,” Bloke replied.

  Ted took a few moments to take Bloke’s words and make sense of them before he said with caution, “O.K…so that’s cool.”

  Back in the kitchen, things were heating up.

  “You do remember our mutual friend, Marco, don’t ya?” Jhett said to Shelby, who was still standing against the wall, with his arms crossed. Shelby was about six feet tall and was fairly muscular. He had a hook nose and deep set eyes.

  Shelby gave Jhett a stern look and answered, “Yeah, I’ve taken real good care of his Cutz.”

  “I’ll be the judge of that,” Jhett answered firmly. “Go get it.”

  Shelby felt cocky as he said, “Where’s my money?”

  Jhett cocked his head to the side and pressed his lips together, “Excuse me?”

  “I said, where’s my money? No money, no Cutz!”

  “Oh, allow me to apologize,” Jhett said smiling again. “Please get the merchandise that your employer…Marco Giraudoux, so whole-heartedly trusted you with, to store for him, until it was needed for a rainy day?” Jhett placed his hands behind his back, and made a tight fist with his right hand. The six centimeter metal blade instantly emerged from his wrist with a soft, clicking sound.

  Shelby wouldn’t give in. “Listen here, you overgrown bitch…I said, I want my money.”

  “Shelby,” Jhett said in a cocky, yet friendly voice, “Do you hear the rain outside?”

  The living room was reeking of Cutz smoke. Ted took another drag and passed the bong to Bloke, who put it to his lips, inhaled deeply, and finished off the Cutz crystal.

  “Yeah man,” said Ted, “So I’ve been doing this job, and I don’t like it one bit man, quite frankly…I think ya should be able to do whatever the hell you feel like, man. Freedom is a good thing and they make all these freaking rules and it just messes shit up and like…I gotta catch these people doing illegal things…or else I go back to prison. And I don’t wanna be there! I feel that people just gotta be free man, we just gotta be free, doing whatever we want, whenever we want.”

  Bloke exhaled and coughed loudly again. “Damn! This shit gets ya high as hell! But let me tell you…I went through the same type of shit, man. The government is a screwed up thing…they just exist to keep you from living the life you want to live, man. Let me tell ya, dude…you don’t know the half of it. Jhett and me…the government made us!”

  “Whoa, man…like how?”

  Bloke looked serious as he said, “They decided that God, in his infinite wisdom, did a shitty job of making the human body. So they started playing with genetics and cyborg componentry…and decided to make a better mousetrap. Dude, check it out, man…me and Jhett, we’re the products of biotechnological-genetic engineering. Our tweaked out DNA, was specially mutated to make us strong, fast, smart, and capable of handling conditions normal people can’t handle.”

  “Like what, man?”

  “Well, I got special ferrous cells in my body that can hoard oxygen, just in case I’m in a situation where it’s scarce. I can release that stored up stuff anytime I need it and operate in a totally anaerobic or very low oxygen environment,” Bloke said.

  “Whoa…that’s pretty cool, man…I wonder if you can get cells that can store Cutz smoke.”

  “Those government science guys can make anything happen, man.” Bloke said, “Jhett, can move real fast, and he’s also about five times as strong as a normal guy his size.”

  “Whoa, man…that’s some cool shit,” Ted said. “Why ya got all that stuff man? I hear of chicks making their tits bigger…but that shit you dudes went through is pretty hard core man.”

  The living room was feeling cool, but back in the kitchen, things were coming to a boil, and Jhett was becoming quite fru
strated.

  “Shelby…you think I am stupid…don’t you?” Jhett said with bit of an indignant tone as he looked into the black case. The liquid in the test tube he was holding was quickly turning purple and Jhett was quickly becoming unglued.

  “No, I don’t,” Shelby said, “I’m just saying it’s pretty goddamn rude of you to walk into my house and accuse me of that kind of shit.”

  “This is not cool Shelby,” Jhett said as he thrust the test tube full of purple colored truth in Shelby’s face.

  “What the hell do you mean?” Shelby asked sounding a bit cocky, “I don’t give a damn about your chemistry set, pal! This is the shit you dropped off for me to stash, it hasn’t moved. This is what you came for. Now get the hell out of my house.”

  “Bullshit!” Jhett slung back. “What were you thinking? That I wouldn’t be able to find you? We have a proven method of finding people like you, Shelby! What did you do with the Cutz we left you?”

  “This is the Cutz you left me,” Shelby said as he lit a cigarette.

  Jhett scowled, “Oh I’ve got proof otherwise…”

  “I didn’t swap your shit!” Shelby said with confidence as he put his cigarette to his lips and puffed the smoke towards Jett. “And I didn’t cut it either. Did ya think that maybe the fucked up purple reaction that you’re getting in your bullshit little test tube is your fault, Jhett? Cooking up Cutz is an art that not any dipshit can do, Jhett. Think about it, did you pack the shit correctly? Did you preserve it right? Did you take into consideration that because of the massive government layoffs, when we lose power in this section of the city, it takes longer to get it back on since there are no more Union guys to come over here and fix what we in the slums ain’t allowed to fix ourselves?”

  Jhett spit on the floor and said, “bitches like you make me sick, Shelby…always waiting for the government to fix something for ya…always waitin’ for a handout…ya no ambition havin’ twerp…”

  Shelby rolled his eyes and said, “My point is that Cutz needs to be kept cool, Jhett…and it ain’t my fault the Ailanian government can’t provide me with air conditioning!”

  “My point is that I work my ass off, so I don’t have to pay taxes…and now, because of red tape and bureaucracy, that I ain’t got no control over…my paycheck is gonna be so much smaller because of this bullshit!”

  Shelby took another drag, and exhaled forcefully as he said, “Yeah, whatever…go file a complaint down at the fuckin’ D.M.V. already…now, give me my money…take your Cutz…and leave.”

  “Don’t you tell me!” Jhett yelled as he stood up, and quickly froze as he realized that Shelby was pointing a small laser blaster at his face.

  “No!” Shelby said sternly, gripping the blaster with white-knuckle fear. “Don’t you tell me!”

  Shelby’s eyelids flew open as he felt the intense pressure on his wrist. He could only see a blur in front of him as he felt the pressure turn into a severe, burning pain.

  “Oh my gods!” Shelby thought as he realized that blood was now gushing from his forearm. The pain, plus the loss of the tendons in his arm made him drop his gun. It landed on the floor with several clicking sounds.

  “Oh shit!” He cried out.

  Shelby felt the crushing force of Jhett’s elbow hitting him in the back of the head. He felt the gravity pulling him toward the ground, making his stomach jump with the sensation of free fall. He landed on the floor face down. The fall broke his nose and split his chin open. The warm, sticky feeling of blood soon immersed his face. He couldn’t move. His muscles were frozen. He could feel his body as he lay contorted on the floor, but couldn’t make anything work. He had no idea it only took Jhett a millisecond to cut him with the blade and knock him to the floor.

  “Ya know, Shelby,” Jhett said, raising his right fist and allowing the blade to shine in the kitchen light. “I am sick and tired of this job…and I hope to hell, that this is the last time that I will ever need to deal with assholes like you!”

  Shelby was dead just a few seconds after Jhett slit his throat.

  A few minutes later, Jhett emerged from the kitchen, relatively blood free and carrying the black case with him. He looked over at his large partner, who was chatting away with a very intoxicated man, who was sitting in an easy chair, and looking very relaxed.

  Ted looked over his shoulder and asked, “Everything all right in there?”

  “Oh yeah,” Jhett answered, “Me and Shelby just got done having a little talk. How are you guys doing?”

  “Fine,” Bloke answered with a big smile from all the Cutz he had been smoking. “Me and Ted here…we’re just having a talk…about how society thinks that’s not alright to just be a natural person anymore. Ya gotta be all improved n’ shit…ya gotta be augmented, adapted.”

  “No shit, Ted,” Jhett said sounding surprised. “You’re adapted?”

  “Uh-huh,” Ted said, looking dazed and glassy eyed. “Sure am. I think it’s pretty cool.”

  “Actually, Ted,” Jhett said as he began to feel himself losing the enthusiasm he had earlier. “I think it is bullshit.”

  “Huh?” The ladder seemed to retract itself into the sky.

  “Think about it, Ted,” Jhett exclaimed. “Here I was worrying myself sick whether or not that idiot Herb did his job with the security cameras right, and low and behold, some dude with a camera in his head is sitting in the living room of a guy I just killed…and that means my job ain’t done yet.”

  “What?” Ted said sounding confused.

  “But let’s not look at it that way, Ted,” Jhett said compassionately. “There is a bigger problem for humanity in general. Just think about it for a minute, ya put a computer in some guy’s head, and a monitor on the inside of his eye…that means he’s in front of his workstation all day long, every day, for the rest of his life. It’s not an advantage. It’s slavery! You now have given the guy the ability to work constantly if need be. All day long, data, data, data. Processing that data becomes one of his bodily functions, like eating, digestion, and circulation. He can even work while he’s taking a shit! For gods sakes he never gets a break! Think about it! He’s at home one night banging his wife when all of the sudden he stops pumping his ass cheeks, takes his dick out, sits up and says, ‘Oh, sorry about the coitus interruptus, honey, but Smith just called and he needs me to work on the Barney account.’ That is bullshit! No sex means the end of humanity!”

  “Uh…yeah.”

  “I’m serious, Ted!” Jhett said with a renewed sense of passion. “Why in the hell would someone want to do such a thing? Why is it that people no longer think the bodies, and the limbs, and the DNA that nature blessed them with are good enough? Why do we need to augment, and adapt, and clone, and improve shit that natural selection obviously allowed to exist for many millennia? I mean, if we weren’t good enough the way we normally are, wouldn’t we had gone extinct along with the dinosaurs and the woolly mammoths, the saber toothed tigers and…and the kiwi?”

  “Uh…yeah…the fucking kiwi. The flightless, little fuck…yeah, he’s deader than fuck, dude.”

  “Ted, you are human!” Jhett said passionately. “And being human is a wonderful thing! Don’t let them turn you into a machine, into something with circuits and wires and just a bunch of never ending biochemical reactions that have no meaning! Don’t let them turn you into something that has no soul!”

  “Uh…O.K.”

  “Ted, I can understand why they did it to us,” Jhett said. “We were created for a specific purpose. They gave us all these artificial adaptations and computerized augmentations to help us be better soldiers on the battlefield. But let me tell you, Ted…I stand before you now, and tell you with all honesty, it doesn’t make us better humans. Hell, we’re not even human. We’re freaks of nature! We’re natural born killers. Being a military project since birth made us a bit crazy, Ted…and we decided a long t
ime ago to either live free or die trying. All that stuff they did to us has been a blessing with our new found occupation. But guys like Bloke and me…we live to be on the run. You’re special, Ted…you’re an all naturally created piece of meat and protoplasmic ooze that can get up in the morning, after a natural night’s sleep, and go take a piss without the need to replace a filter line in your dick, and damn it, man…” Jhett paused for one instant to point his finger at Ted, “You should be proud of that!”

  “Uh…yeah.”

  “Ted,” Jhett said with a compassionate voice. “Let us help you become human again. Let us help you avoid the misery that comes with being adapted.”

  “Uh…yeah,” Ted shook his head and sat back in the chair. He was feeling a good Cutz buzz. It was taking him to a higher plane of relaxation.

  The news on monitor blared. High Senator Rammy Klunka appeared on the screen, his face was angry and his hair was perfectly in place. “You’ve heard the misguided, political activists saying all sorts of untruthful things about me lately. And I’m here today to tell you the truth! The truth is, I will make sure that the people of this planet have good, secure government jobs in the potential tourist industry that we will create if we accept the economic stimulus program the Aurorian government wishes to give us!”

  Ted closed his eyes and chuckled as he said, “yeah…they’re gonna give it to us…”

  Rammy Klunka’s jowls flubbered as he said, “But we must act as a united people, right now we have misguided Ailanian people, some of who are High Senators, who are saying we don’t need outside help, and that we just need less government involved in Ailanian business. Folks, we tried that already! Just look at all of the Independent businesses that have failed and screwed you out of money and jobs because Magistrate Hupo decided to let people manage their own affairs!”

  For a moment, Ted thought he could hear the sound of an electric saw.

  Klunka continued, “We need the protecting and guiding hand of the government this time! We will act as one! Our future ensures that if there is prosperity then we will all prosper together, and if there is to be suffering, then WE will all suffer together!”