All The Way

by Tricia Jones

  “I don’t know how else to protect you.”

  “For God’s sake, Niko. I don’t need protecting. I need a partner, someone who treats me as his equal. Someone who tells me what the bloody hell he’s worrying about when I know damn well he’s worried about something.”

  When he remained silent, she shook her head, hoping that the movement would shake some sense back into it and she’d stop wishing for things that were never going to happen.

  “I don’t need wrapping in cotton wool, Niko. I need so many things, but not that.”

  He brushed hair from her forehead and tucked it loosely behind her ear. “Tell me what you need.”

  Her throat ached with the words she so desperately wanted to say, but how could she chance that he would brush them aside, confirm that what she wanted he could never give her. To have the truth spelt out so clearly, so coldly, her heart might never recover. Yet since she knew there was no hope for them, there was really nothing to lose.

  “I need to feel like I’m worthy of love. Of being loved all the way. I want to feel that I don’t have to earn it, that I don’t have to be somebody someone else wants me to be before it’s given freely.”

  Hearing the words from her own lips felt strangely liberating. The very thing she had needed all her life was now concrete, made form, the words floating in the ether.

  She sensed his retreat rather than felt it, but pushed on ruthlessly. “I need to know that I don’t have to conform to someone else’s ideal, that who I am is enough. I don’t want to be locked away in a metaphorical cupboard, brought out, dusted and displayed when it suits. You said I wanted to be needed, you’re right. But I don’t want that on any terms and it has to be on equal footing. I won’t give up myself in the bargain, not anymore.”

  When he relaxed his hold on her, she slipped off his lap and kneeled beside him. “After what you told me about losing your family, losing Viktor and Elena, I sort of understand why you can’t allow yourself to need anyone. You can’t open yourself that way, because it’s too painful. I really do understand that, but I can’t be with someone who isn’t willing to take the chance. You can’t close yourself down, Niko. It’s a hard way to go through life, shutting people out in case you get hurt again.”

  “You think that’s what I do? Shut people out? That I don’t hurt?”

  He swung off the bed, stood and grabbed his trousers from where she’d placed them on the chair. “You think I didn’t hurt when you left me, Grace? You think I didn’t feel as if the ceiling had caved in on me?”

  He grabbed up his shirt and pulled it over his head, muscles rippling and eyes flaring. He stalked toward her and towered over her where she still knelt on the bed. “You talk about trust, about sharing, about need. Yet you offer none of those qualities back to me.”

  He stood there, his whole body vibrating. He opened his mouth, stabbing his finger in her direction, but whatever he would have said died on his lips as he turned and strode out of the room.

  Grace jumped as the door slammed behind him. She sat for a good five minutes thinking about what he’d said, her body trembling in the aftermath of his outburst.

  She’d never imagined that her leaving had hurt him, she’d only thought he’d be pissed and vengeful. Yet he said he’d hurt, had felt that the ceiling had caved in. Had she meant that much to him that he could mourn her loss?

  Was he right about those other things? She could see she’d given him no reason to believe she’d trusted him and maybe she didn’t share everything with him, but why would she, when he kept everything so close to his chest?

  Yet he was wrong about one thing.

  She did need him. She needed him so badly it was like a physical pain. Knowing he’d never share himself that way again, that he’d lost too many people and been hurt far too deeply to open his heart again was like a knife to her own heart.

  How could she stay with him knowing that he’d always hold back some vital part of himself? It would never work. It would never be enough.

  Miserable, Grace got up from the bed and, with the duvet hugged around her, went to the bathroom. She showered, dressed, then sat on the bed and tried her cell phone. Still nothing from Leah. Alongside all the other feelings, anger vibrated in her chest.

  That girl was really pushing it. Grace shot off another text demanding Leah call immediately or the deal was off and she was bloody well coming home with her if Grace had to drag her kicking and screaming.

  She felt like kicking and screaming herself, but instead tears smarted and she tried to will them back. They fell anyway, hot and unbidden on her cheeks, so that she curled up on her side and hugged the pillow to her.

  Whatever they’d been building, whatever she’d hoped they’d been building was destroyed. Despite all they’d said to each other, all the tender words, intimate moments, she still didn’t understand him, any more than he understood her.

  She lay watching the sun dip over the horizon far away in the distance. The view made her feel even more wretched, even more alone.

  Her heart ached. Everything ached. She wanted Niko here. She wanted him holding her, telling her that everything would work out. Everything would be okay.

  As her breath hitched, bringing fresh tears, she closed her eyes and willed the pain to leave her empty heart.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The room was dark when she woke, the gentle hum of the air conditioning co-existing alongside the far off sound of evening traffic making its way along the corniche.

  Grace rolled onto her back, her eyes tender and heavy. The bedroom door was still closed, but the snake of light beneath it meant someone was downstairs. Probably Gabrielle and Vadim. She pushed off the bed and drew in a jagged breath as she ran her fingers through her hair.

  On her way to the bathroom, she heard hushed voices from the kitchen and recognised them as Niko and Vadim. She doubted Niko would want to speak to her and certainly wouldn’t want to pick things up where they’d left off.

  Not wanting to speak to anyone herself just yet, Grace went back into the bedroom. She pulled on the wrap and draped it over her shoulders, wondering if Leah had replied to her latest text.

  A glance at her cell phone told her what she already knew. No messages.

  Why was it that nobody ever seemed to mind her? Not Leah. Not Niko. Did she have some sort of innate quality that screamed ignore, dismiss, refuse?

  Well, she’d had enough. She’d had bloody enough.

  With her cell phone clasped in her hand, she made for the bedroom door. She wasn’t hiding away in her room as if she was the one who’d done anything wrong. If Niko didn’t want to speak to her, then he could go to hell. She wasn’t taking any crap from any of them anymore.

  At the bottom of the stairs, she punched the speed dial button for Leah’s number, heading for the kitchen as the beeps signalled the number being dialed. Through the slightly opened door, she saw the two men facing each other, then heard Vadim speak.

  “We can’t chance that he’ll go underground. He’s dangerous right now and there’s no telling what he’ll try.”

  When the phone in Niko’s hand rang, he looked down at it and frowned before pressing to ignore the call. At that moment, Grace heard a click in her ear. She tried Leah’s number again and once more the phone in Niko’s hand rang. Again he clicked it off. Again it clicked in Grace’s ear.

  Turning away, Grace leaned against the wall to think. What the hell was Niko doing with Leah’s phone? Was that why Leah hadn’t been returning her calls? Her heart thumped with fury, with frustration, with fear. What in God’s name was going on?

  Before she could let herself imagine all kinds of scenarios, Grace flung back the door and stepped into the room. The two men stopped talking and turned to her, but neither said anything as she stalked toward them.

  She snatched the phone from Niko’s grasp. “What’s going on? And don’t even think of giving me any crap. I want the truth and I want it straight. What the hell are you doing with Le
ah’s phone?”

  Through a red haze, she saw the two men exchange glances before looking back to her. Then Vadim turned and left the room, closing the door behind him. Grace glared at Niko, her jaw set and her blood running hot and furious through her veins.

  Niko glanced at the phone, then back at her. “Sit down, Grace.”

  “No.” She folded her arms across her chest and planted her feet. “I want answers and I want them now.”

  He drew in a breath, his eyes narrowing slightly as he started to reach out to her. Grace stepped back.

  Silent tension filled the roomy kitchen as they engaged in a standoff. Then Niko rubbed his hand along his jaw before nodding, as if he’d been deliberating and had made a decision. His gaze met hers. “A short while ago I received a package containing Leah’s phone. There was also a note, from Pavel.”

  Tiny shivers edged along her spine, but she said nothing as Niko went to the side table where he picked up a piece of paper. “We’ve been keeping a check on Pavel and Leah. My men have had them in their sights at all times, you must remember that. Remember that as I tell you the rest.”

  “What’s going on?” Her voice was barely a whisper as fear snatched her breath. “Niko?”

  “Pavel has sent me a demand. For money.”

  As her head swam, she glanced down at the note he held. “For money?”

  He dropped the note onto a nearby chair and took both her hands. As he looked at her steadily, she felt his grip tighten around her fingers. “Ransom.”

  “Ransom?” All she could seem to do was repeat his words back to him. “I don’t understand. Why on earth would he demand money from you? Is he insane?”

  His smile held no humour. “Under normal circumstances, I would deal with him in my own way with no mind to anything else.”

  She had no doubt of that. “I-I don’t understand what you’re saying. How does this concern Leah? Is she okay?”

  He squeezed her hands and tried to lead her to the nearest chair. “Please, Grace. Sit down.”

  She brushed his hands away. “You’re starting to scare me. It’s Leah isn’t it? Something’s happened to Leah.” Her body was frozen to the spot, but her knees weakened and her insides felt hollow and shaky. “Niko?”

  “No.” He said it emphatically, with a rip of anger. “Nothing’s happened to Leah. And it won’t.”

  She shook her head slowly. Then tried to push past him toward the kitchen door. He caught her arm and pulled her around to face him. “Nothing has happened to Leah. You have to trust me, Grace. This time you have to trust me.”

  “Then you trust me.” Her voice hitched as she rounded on him. “You tell me what’s happened. All of it.”

  He drew in a breath, then turned back to retrieve the note. Saying nothing, he kept his gaze on hers as he handed it to her.

  Grace swallowed, her hands trembling as she took it. Her throat felt like sandpaper as, slowly, she unfolded the paper.

  Two million euros, it read, in what she assumed was Pavel’s scrawled handwriting. This time I have something I’m sure you’ll want to save. You know I can make her disappear. You know that she’ll be untraceable. Don’t test me on this.

  Grace swallowed again. “What does it mean? What does he mean he’ll make Leah disappear? Oh, God.” She flayed out awkwardly, trying to clutch at something solid as the awful realization hit her like a brick.

  Niko reached her at the moment her knees gave way and all but pushed her into the nearest chair. She sat, nausea gathering in her stomach and ice running through her limbs. Niko hunkered down and took her frozen hands into his. “She’s safe. My men are watching him. They know where Leah is, and…she’s safe.”

  “You hesitated,” Grace rasped, looking at him. “You’re lying, you don’t know that for sure.”

  He yanked her hands to get her attention. “You listen to me. Leah’s safe. I’m going now, with Vadim, and I’m bringing her home.”

  “If you know where she is, what the hell are you waiting for?”

  He stood slowly and started pacing the floor. When he stopped, he ran his hand along his jaw. “Two years ago, before Pavel was arrested, he demanded one million euros from me. He’d tried it before, but I refused. I thought that giving him a job in one of my companies would give him a focus, let him find his way. When I refused his latest demand for money, he told me that one way or another I would pay. When he was arrested, he warned that one day he would find a way to get the money from me, a way that would give me no option but to pay.”

  She raised her hand to her collarbone, unable to grasp what he was saying beneath her fear for Leah. “What has this to do with Leah?”

  “Do you remember the text you received from Leah? Where you queried the letter V in the corner, with a line running through it?”

  She racked her memory, fuzzy beneath the anxious thoughts currently vying for attention. “Yes.”

  “It was a message, a code if you like. The V was a reference to Viktor and the line through it a testament to Pavel’s belief that Viktor lost his life because of me. Pavel warned me I would receive this coded message when he’d decided on the means by which he would blackmail me.”

  He ran his hand over his head, then dropped to his haunches in front of her again. “There’s no easy way to tell you this.” All the color had drained from his face, but his eyes were like steel. “Pavel has picked up a connection he nurtured before he went inside. We’ve been tracking him, both before and since his imprisonment. We could never prove anything, could never collect enough evidence, but this note confirms my fears. Grace, he intends to use Leah.”

  Every drop of blood turned to ice in her veins as she stared at Niko. She’d heard him wrong, surely. “What?”

  “He wants money in return for Leah. If I pay him, he’ll give her back.”

  “I don’t understand. He’s using Leah to blackmail you?” As she tried to process it, Niko rose, pulled a chair next to hers and sat. “You said something about a connection. What’s that got to do with Leah?”

  His expression turned to steel. “It’s a suspected trafficking ring.”

  “Wh-what? I can’t…” She pressed a hand to her middle as her stomach rose to her throat. “Oh…oh my God!”

  “She’s safe.” Niko’s assurances echoed through her head. “We know where she is and she’s safe.”

  “She’s safe?” Grace shot to her feet, unsure what to do first—throw up or beat the living crap out of him. “What the hell does that mean? You knew this and yet you left her there with that monster.” As a red mist formed around her, she shoved at him as he stood. “You get her back, you bastard. Right now. You get her back.”

  “It’s not that easy. There are implications.”

  “I don’t give a damn about your implications.”

  As she shook with rage and fear, he took her shoulders in a firm grip. “This is no backstreet operation with a few men buying and selling. It’s bigger than that. God alone knows how big. It could stretch across Europe.”

  She wanted to scream that she didn’t care, that all she wanted was her sister back safely. Yet what he’d said trickled through the fear, through the terror. “Please. No.”

  “Grace. I promise you I’ll—”

  “The police.” She could barely speak as tension scraped like sandpaper at her throat. “What are they doing?”

  Silence.

  She grabbed his shirt, as much to steady herself as blast him. “Do something,” she demanded. “You pay him. Pay him now.”

  He placed his hands over her white knuckles. “We’re planning a meet and I’ll offer him the money. Then my men will move in.”

  “Yes.” She closed her eyes and nodded as relief inched its way through the fear. “Yes. Give him the money and get Leah.”

  “It may not be as simple as that.”

  Her eyes shot open. “Why not? He only wants the money. You said… Oh, God. You think he’s already hurt her?”

  “No. I don’t think tha
t.”

  “Tell the police.” Grace tightened her grip on his shirt. “You have to let them know. They have special teams who know about these people, about how to deal with these situations.”

  “No police.” Gently, he unwound her fingers from his shirt and held tight to her hands. “I’ll get her back. Right now she’s safe. Pavel has her holed up in a house on the east of the harbour and my men are watching her. They won’t let her out of their sight.”

  “They did before.” And fear gripped her belly at the thought they could do so again. “Please, call the police. They’ll help.”

  “Try to understand, this needs to be handled carefully. The people involved may go underground, scatter, then not only will they escape justice for Leah, but it will be impossible to trace other victims, other girls.” Steadily, he held her gaze. “Someone else’s sister.”

  “Don’t you dare put this on me.”

  “That’s not my intention. But if I get Leah away without bringing Pavel to justice, what’s to think it may never happen again? He’ll want revenge, more so than ever. He may come after her again. She’ll never be safe from him. Do you want her to spend her life looking over her shoulder? Do you want to live your life in fear for her, every day? This isn’t about one person, Grace, as much as she means to you. It’s about other girls, other victims. They need protecting, too. They need justice.”

  Of course they did, but it was hard to think about anyone else right then. Grace closed her eyes and sucked in a breath. She could go to the police. She could ignore Niko’s logical argument and go to the police. It might be her one, her only chance of getting Leah back. But what if he was right? What if things went wrong and Pavel didn’t intend letting Leah go?

  Oh please. What was she to do? How could she step back and let something so hideous and dreadful happen to her sister. Right at this moment she could be on some boat to God knew where…alone, terrified and…

  Grace shut off the images that tried to push through. It wouldn’t help to imagine nightmare scenarios. She had to think clearly, logically. Had to decide the best course of action to get her sister back.