by Beth Elliott
Amelia looked at her for a long moment. ‘What he said to me was very touching.’ Her voice trembled and she had to try twice before she could carry on. ‘I shall treasure his words all my life. I am only sorry I cannot return his regard.’ She sniffed.
‘He is a truly admirable gentleman,’ agreed Kitty. ‘but come, Millie, at least you were honest with him. And even if you did love him, you could never leave England to be a soldier’s wife.’
‘I shall never marry anyone!’ Gentle Millie spoke with such force that Kitty’s jaw fell open. She shut it hastily, remembering how Freddy had turned away in anger. It was something that Millie had at last shown what her true feelings were. In any case, Kitty was too heartsore herself to discuss the matter.
‘The best thing we could do would be to go home, don’t you agree?’ Amelia said at last.
‘That is what I want to do, but my aunt will not hear of it,’ replied Kitty, ‘I fear I have sadly disappointed her.’
Amelia looked a question. Kitty wearily explained what had happened. ‘And until I know the outcome of this duel I can feel only a burning anxiety,’ she ended, pressing her hand to her quivering lips. She sniffed. ‘It is terrible to have provoked two men to fight – and perhaps kill each other – for something I did not want in the first place.’
They stared at each other. Kitty was the first to rouse. ‘Well,’ she said in a determined voice, ‘I must get back to doing something useful with my life. This was never going to be more than a short holiday.’
‘But, Kitty,’ squeaked Amelia, round eyed, ‘your mama expects you to find a husband before you return to Cheshire.’
‘So does yours,’ retorted Kitty. Slowly, Amelia shook her head. ‘You know Mama is taking me out of town for a few days. She says I need a rest from this hectic lifestyle, but I suspect she is going to use the time to direct me towards whichever gentleman she considers right for me.’ She pressed her lips very firmly together. ‘It is not often that I go against my parents’ wishes, but I cannot obey them in this matter.’
There was a tap at the door, followed by the entrance of a maid. ‘If you please, Miss, Lady Caroline Bannister has arrived.’
‘We shall have to go down,’ insisted Kitty, pulling Amelia up and more or less dragging her to the door. ‘it is better than moping in here.’
Caroline raised her brows at the sight of them. ‘I did hope to see two bright young ladies, ready to assist me at the perfumier’s.’
‘We shall do our best,’ said Kitty, firmly holding on to Amelia’s arm and refusing to let her decline the outing.
Once the three of them were in the carriage, Kitty gave Caroline an imploring look. ‘Is there any news?’
Caroline frowned. ‘This is hardly the place to discuss such matters.’ She looked towards the coachman. Reluctantly Kitty nodded. She was in such a fever to know how the duel had ended, she could barely respond to Caroline’s flow of idle chat as the barouche took them to Bond Street. Her hands clasped tightly in her lap, she tried to smile and reply sensibly. It was no use to get angry with Caroline, after all, she had done what she could to avoid any scandal.
At last the coach stopped, the steps were let down and the three young ladies descended.
‘Now then, darlings, I fully expect you to help me select the finest new perfumes and soaps. This is one of my very favourite shops.’ Caroline led the way in to where the manager was already bowing, while an underling was rushing to set chairs for these fashionable clients. At any other time, Kitty would have enjoyed the experience. But today it was all she could do to affect an interest in the expensive scents and finely milled soaps brought out for Caroline to choose from.
‘What about a walk to Hookham’s Library?’ suggested Caroline, as they left the perfumier’s. ‘We can talk as we walk, you know.’ She unfurled her parasol and smiled at Kitty. ‘You goose, you may breathe again now.’
‘You mean—’
‘Nobody was injured.’
‘Oh, thank God.…’ Kitty drew a shaky breath. The surge of relief was like a physical blow. She faltered.
‘Of course,’ Caroline went on, steering her in through the door of Hookham’s Library, ‘even if honour is satisfied, the two gentlemen are still at daggers drawn. According to William, Theo is completely unapproachable.’
Amelia, who was not really listening to this conversation, wandered over to the bookshelves.
‘You should choose a few novels to take with you while you are in the country,’ encouraged Kitty. She then turned back to Caroline. ‘Well, you have relieved my mind of its worst fear. As for the rest—’
Caroline shook her head. ‘What a pair you are! It reminds me of when I had to sort out all the childhood squabbles.’ She moved towards the table displaying the most recently published novels. Having selected one to examine, she looked across at Kitty again. ‘I accept that your great-aunt’s connection with Etienne makes it hard for you not to be on good terms with him. But I did warn you.’
Kitty gave her a speaking look. ‘I know.’
Caroline nodded. ‘We just have to hope there is no gossip. That obnoxious Miss Harling would so love a juicy morsel like that.’
Kitty repressed a shudder. ‘I am so afraid of causing my aunt embarrassment.’
‘What about me, darling?’ Caroline’s voice was acid. ‘However, I am doing my best for you both. Even Millie has caused havoc! Poor Greg! And – even worse – there is no doing anything with Freddy since the ball.’ Her eyes were on Amelia as she spoke.
Kitty shrugged. ‘It is a matter they have to decide for themselves. But would you object, Caro?’
Caroline laughed. ‘I would be delighted. They have always been good friends and they are both home birds. Their parents had other ambitions, but they will soon accept it is the best – the only outcome for them.’ She shook her head slightly. ‘Time will tell. But would you believe, Kitty, Miss Harling was thrusting herself at Freddy at the ball. She is quite shamelessly determined to marry a title.’
CHAPTER THIRTY
At church on Sunday, Kitty strove to put all her troubles out of her mind. The familiar words of the service helped to subdue her problems and she came out of church feeling calmer. She walked beside her aunt as Lady Picton made her way slowly down the path from the church door. The old lady was happily exchanging greetings and gossip with a number of friends.
Standing nearby as she waited, Kitty looked about her, noticing the buds ready to burst on the shrubs. She gave a tiny sigh for the open fields of Cheshire and thought longingly of galloping across country with Millie and Freddy. She checked herself. That did not seem likely to happen ever again.
It had been the loneliest week of her life. Millie and her mother were still out of town. She knew from Caroline that Freddy had gone back home to Cheshire. There was no news of Theo and Greg and no sight of Etienne anywhere. This had caused Aunt Picton to grumble. She missed his lively conversation and kept lamenting that he could not visit her as he used to. Kitty suspected that her aunt still cherished hopes of making a match for her with the Frenchman.
That was never going to happen, however. Not only did she find Etienne untrustworthy, he was responsible for many of her quarrels with Theo. Kitty felt the now familiar ache in her heart. At the ball she could have sworn that Theo was in love with her. What had made him change so rapidly? Surely he understood that she had not wanted Etienne to propose to her? He had fought a duel for her, but now he was showing by his absence that he did not want to see her again. The misery was like a physical burden. She stared fixedly at the treetops, trying to keep a polite expression on her face.
Suddenly, a loud voice almost in her ear made Kitty jump. She had heard those strident tones before. Reluctantly she turned to see the two ladies she least wanted to meet. Lady Payne was standing just behind her. Close up, she was even more overpowering with her shiny red cheeks and her ample figure squeezed into a straining velvet coat.
‘… long time since we last saw yo
u,’ she was saying to Lady Picton, ‘and so you have a young relative staying with you. How delightful,’ she seized Kitty’s hand and wrung it hard. ‘Are you enjoying your visit to London, Miss Towers? Do you mean to stay long?’ Her smile did not reach her eyes. ‘I believe I saw you at Lady Caroline Bannister’s ball last Tuesday? You were dancing with Theodore Weston.’
‘Yes, ma’am,’ said Kitty in a colourless voice. Beside her, Aunt Picton seemed to grow a couple of inches. Her gimlet gaze was fixed on the countess.
That lady gave Kitty another cold smile. ‘We quite dote on him and all his family. You must know that Letitia’ – she pulled her daughter forward – ‘is absolutely a favourite with Lord and Lady Hethermere. In fact’ – she leaned almost into Kitty’s face as she continued in a rush – ‘I should not be speaking of it just yet but we expect that dearest Letitia here will soon be announcing her engagement to Theodore.’ Her prominent eyes were fixed on Kitty’s as she spoke. She beamed a toothy smile at Lady Picton and nodded briskly, making the ostrich feathers on her bonnet flutter as if in agreement. ‘It is the dearest wish of myself and of his papa.’
Letitia blushed and simpered but her little blue eyes were darting daggers. Kitty judged her to be well past eighteen or nineteen years old – the usual age for a debutante. Miss Payne looked like a snob and, if the looks she was aiming at Kitty were anything to go by, she was spiteful as well. But the worst thing, thought Kitty, was that she looked so empty-headed. Would Miss Payne concern herself with the social ideas that Theo held to be so important?
Even if she had no interest there herself, she felt they would be a very ill-matched couple. Aware that both Letitia and her mother were examining her closely, she kept a fixed smile on her lips and inclined her head politely.
‘I believe I have heard you express these wishes before,’ Lady Picton commented drily. ‘And this is your … third season, is it not, Letitia?’ She gave a short laugh, hastily disguised it as a cough and took her niece’s arm. ‘Come, Kitty, John coachman will not wish to keep his horses standing in this wind.’
‘Well, child, how do you like Miss Payne?’ Great-aunt Picton watched Kitty pull down her mouth and chuckled. ‘No, that does not surprise me. That girl has not one idea in her head. She just echoes her mother’s opinions as she copies her dress. So they noticed you dancing with Theodore at the ball. They will not be pleased with that.’ She laughed again. ‘I trust I quelled them over their absurd fantasy that Letitia will ever become young Weston’s wife. Hah!’
‘But is it really so absurd, ma’am? If they are family friends, they have many opportunities to be together.’
Lady Picton was busy peering out of the carriage window at the shops, but at this she turned to fix a keen stare on Kitty. ‘The whole town knows that young Weston avoids them like the plague. He certainly does not wish for the match. And by this time,’ she added, turning back towards the shop windows, ‘he is old enough to make his own decisions.’
It was now Lady Picton’s great pleasure to enjoy a sedate ride along Bond Street after church each Sunday. She was alert for the latest fashions on display. It was useless for Kitty to protest that she already had a wardrobe full of pretty clothes. And if she tried to remind her aunt that spending money on fine dresses clashed with her principles, that lady just laughed at her.
‘I get so much pleasure from all of this, my dear,’ she replied each time, ‘just indulge me, if you please.’
Today, great-gunt Picton wished to see the latest bonnets. ‘This brighter weather has made me feel we must find you a really fetching hat for the spring,’ she told Kitty, ‘but something simple. I am still shuddering at the memory of Lady Payne’s hideous red hat – so many feathers and ribbons. Oh dear!’
Kitty giggled. ‘It did not set off her complexion to best advantage.’ She thought of Letitia, also overdressed and with the same red, full cheeks as her mother. But that was not really important: what had angered Kitty was the resentful looks the other girl kept giving her.
She stifled a sigh. Behind the polite front she was just as miserable as she had been since Theo’s sudden change of manner at the ball. Until she could go back to a busier way of life, where her time was occupied in caring for others, she would feel this pain just as keenly. Her aunt was trying to be kind, with offers of new bonnets and various events planned to keep Kitty going into society but whenever she was alone, she slipped into dreams of a handsome face, a pair of dazzling blue eyes and a bitter regret that she would not see him again.
There were plenty of young men eager to dance with her at parties or to accompany her when she walked in Hyde Park. None of them caused the slightest flutter in her heart. She knew there was no question of accepting any one of them as a husband. She had always believed that the foundation for any marriage was love between both partners. And now she had learned what it was to love, she preferred to spend her life alone rather than settle for anything less.
Throughout the long, lonely days since the ball, she responded with her normal good manners to all her aunt’s remarks and plans. Kitty decided that it was easier than she had thought to hide a broken heart. So it was a shock the next day at the lunch table when great-aunt Picton suddenly said, ‘Oh, I cannot endure this any longer. Watching you pick at your food in this way is making me nervous! Come now, child, I can see that this has gone deeper than I guessed. You have truly lost your heart to this rake of yours.’
‘He is not a rake, ma’am,’ protested Kitty, setting down her glass in rather a hurry, ‘but – but I do not think I shall see him again.’ She gave a little gasp and pressed her hand hard against her lips.
‘No tears!’ snapped her aunt. ‘Are you telling me you have lost both your suitors? How careless of you!’
Kitty blinked at her, not sure whether this was an attempt to make her smile. ‘Careless? It was not my intention to raise false hopes. Indeed, I wonder if Monsieur de Saint-Aubin thought he would be marrying a fortune. That may have fanned his ardour.’
Lady Picton considered this while she delicately sliced and ate a piece of cold chicken. She then took a sip of wine and pronounced, ’As I said, money is a necessity in our world. I think no worse of him for that.’ She cast a shrewd glance at her niece. ‘And it was quite clear that he admired you greatly. But it is all water under the bridge now. You have made up your mind it is Theo Weston or nobody – is that not so, miss?’
Kitty drew in a shaky breath. She nodded.
‘Well, now we have established that, I know better what we need to do.’ The old lady finished the wine in her glass and dabbed at her lips. ‘We will start with that chipstraw bonnet, my love – the one with the rosebud trimming.’
Kitty frowned. Her tired mind could not follow her aunt’s reasoning.
‘You are going to be the prettiest and the smartest young lady in town.’ Aunt Picton’s eyes were shining. ‘Not that there is any real competition from Letitia Payne, but gentlemen are always susceptible to pretty clothes, my dear. It will help to smooth the path, believe me.’
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Kitty stood in front of the landscape and actually felt a flicker of interest. The sunbathed hillsides and open fields appealed to her.
‘What a pity we are unable to visit Italy for ourselves,’ she commented to Miss Walmseley, who was also inspecting this painting. ‘I do so long to travel abroad and see what life is like in other countries.’
They moved slowly around the exhibition, admiring the sketches of peasant life as well as the pictures of more famous monuments in the major cities. A painting of the Grand Canal in Venice caught her attention. As she gazed at it she remembered the day in Hookham’s Library when Theo had shown her the picture of Venice. She stifled a sigh. Theo had been out of town since the ball. It was plain he would not seek her out again.
This visit to the Royal Academy was a way of getting through another empty day. Her aunt would not hear of letting her return to Cheshire. Busy with schemes of her own, she had tak
en a reluctant Kitty shopping yet again. Now, Kitty was wearing a brand new chipstraw bonnet trimmed with roses and pink ribbon. She also carried a matching parasol.
It was all very smart but it did not make much sense when she felt so very unhappy and lonely. Here, Kitty checked herself. It was ungrateful to feel like this when her friends, the Walmseley sisters, were doing their best to interest her in this display of paintings and curiosities. At least, Amelia would be returning to town on the following day. They would be able to cheer each other up.
Although, if Millie was feeling half as heartsore as she was, that was going to be a very hard job, thought Kitty, moving away from the Venice picture at last. She looked around for her friends but instead saw to her horror that Letitia Payne was standing in front of the next picture. Her mother was also in the room but seated in an alcove and obviously resting her feet. Kitty turned her head away. She did not feel she could endure another encounter with them. They were always hostile if they spoke to her.
She made an excuse to Miss Walmseley and slipped out of the room without looking in Miss Payne’s direction again. Rushing down the stairs to the entrance hall, she found Martha fidgeting near the main entrance.
‘Martha, if we are very quick, I think we have just time to make a visit to your home. I have finished viewing the display sooner than I had planned.’
‘Oh, miss, that would be wonderful. You are very kind to be thinking of us – Sam an’ all – but you do look so pale, miss. Are you sure you can manage the walk?’
‘Of course,’ Kitty said bracingly. ‘I am sure that we are going to see Sam up and about again … and I would not miss that for anything.’
‘Oh, I do ’ope so – an’ it’s all down to you, miss.’
Martha was radiant on their return. Her little brother was nearly back to his usual bright self. She thanked Kitty and praised her knowledge of how to treat a fever.
