7: The Seven Deadly Sins

by Bach, Tia Silverthorne

  “Yeah, baby. That’s it.” Then, he winked again and stepped back so she could pass.

  Of course, she didn’t.

  The girl continued to stare at him for a moment before her hands fell to her sides and her head cocked again as if to study him better. “You aren't going to, like, ask me for my number or anything?” Her voice was slightly whiny, and Tia cringed.

  And there it was! The magic of being T-Dogg, his reputation totally proved true. His charm had worked on the girl, and Tia had no doubt he’d landed his next conquest.

  “Only if you want to give it me.” He took a step closer to her, his finger reaching out to run down her arm as it did before, but that time, the girl didn't pull away.

  Instead, her head tilted up slightly to look at him, and Tia was sure there’d be a smile on the girl’s face.

  She and T-Dogg stared at each other for a moment before she looked down and reached into her purse. Pulling out a pen, she reached for his arm. His large hand slid up to engulf her much smaller one, and she tugged him toward her. She pulled until his hand rested against her chest, just below her breast, before turning his palm up.

  Tommy shot her a wicked grin and a wink as she scribbled her number on his hand.

  When she finished, he slid his hand down her belly and squeezed her hip before he took a step back. Finally looking at what she wrote, he smiled again as he looked up at her. “Destiny.” He seemed to put every ounce of game he had into saying her name as seductively as possible. “Beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”

  Tia rolled her eyes.

  Then, she heard the girl ask in a syrupy sweet voice, “You gonna call me?”

  Tia wanted to hurl something at the girl’s head.

  “Yeah, sweetheart. I’m gonna call you, for sure.” He winked again and then took another step back to let her pass and watch the sway of her ass as she walked off.

  The girl looked back once, as if to make sure he was watching.

  He kissed the tips of his first two fingers and waved them at her.

  She turned back around, giggling like a little schoolgirl.

  “Oh, what the fuck ever!” Tia huffed out as she slammed her hands on the metal grate below her. When she did, she hit the can of Coke that had been sitting beside her, causing it to roll across the landing and toward the side. Scrambling to catch it before it went over, Tia got to her hands and knees and chased it, her knees scraping against the abrasive metal. Seconds later, she was at the side of the fire escape, gripping the railing tightly, as she watched the almost full can plunge to the ground in slow motion. It seemed to take forever, but in reality, she knew it was only moments before it landed on the sidewalk with a loud thump, exploding and spraying liquid everywhere.

  Her wide eyes watched in horror as the scene unfolded. To anyone else, it wouldn't seem like such a big deal; it was just a can of soda, and no one was hit in the head with it. It was a big deal, though, because Tommy would know she’d been there watching him. Embarrassment set in before she even lifted her gaze, knowing the incident was going to give her location away, and afraid to face Tommy’s laughing eyes.

  Sure enough, when all the contents of the can seemed to have sprayed out, she finally looked up to find him staring at her.

  Throwing a wicked smirk her way, he walked the few feet it took to put himself right next to the mess. He stared down at the busted up Coke can and brown sugar liquid all over the hot pavement for a minute before he looked back up at her.

  “Yo, what’s up, baby girl?”

  Although it was a simple question filled with amusement, she couldn't help the little flip of her stomach when he called her baby girl. Yeah, he called everyone with a vagina baby girl, but it did something when he said it to her. It almost deluded her into believing he thought she was worth his time. Almost.

  Not wanting to embarrass herself further by allowing him to see the way he affected her, Tia rolled her eyes, just as she always did. “Don’t you fuckin’ baby girl me, Tommy.”

  She loathed his nickname. T-Dogg. It was so thuggish, and as much as she knew what he did for a living, she didn’t like acknowledging it by using the moniker his crew and customers did. She was the only one he let call him by his given name.

  His back straightened slightly at the anger he heard in her voice. She hadn’t meant for that to happen, but she was so tired of seeing him hit on every girl that walked past him, while never giving Tia a passing glance, and even more tired of letting it affect her.

  “What’s up, T?” He took a step closer. His head tilted back further, and his eyes squinted in confusion and concern as he stared up at her.

  She returned his gaze for a moment, getting caught up in his chocolate brown eyes like she always did. Reaching up without thought, her fingers played with the pendant that hung just below her collarbone. The silver rod was simple and looked insignificant, but it was something that always brought her a sense of peace. She’d had it since birth, and she found herself seeking it when Tommy looked at her the way he was then.

  The saying “the eyes are the windows to the soul” was a quote she’d always loved, but never believed, until she looked into Tommy’s eyes. When she did, it was as if she were privy to more of him than anyone else was. It wasn’t just his good looks, that cute scar in his eyebrow that he hated or his charming smile; it was as if she could feel his soul. Not only that, but it was like her own soul tried to speak to his and his responded, reaching out and trying to tell her something. The feeling was so intense. Her eyes searched his, looking for answers to questions she wasn’t even aware she was asking. And if she was reading his signals right, Tommy seemed to be doing the same thing. His gaze was equally as caught up in hers, looking for something but unsure of what.

  Seconds passed while their eyes were locked and their souls called out to each other, until the booming bass of a passing car snapped them both from whatever spell they’d been under.

  Wu Tang Clan’s latest song filled the air, and both Tia and Tommy blinked. Tommy glanced behind him at the vehicle, offering a slight chin nod when he recognized the guy driving, before turning back to look at Tia. The moment was effectively broken, and although she cringed because she’d allowed herself to be so vulnerable, Tommy didn't seem the slightest bit affected by the moment they’d shared.

  “So, yo, you comin’ tonight?” He flashed a cocky grin and stuck his hands in his pockets. How he was always so cool was a mystery.

  She was positive he’d felt like a raw steak in the presence of a hungry lion, because it was the same way she’d felt. Something made her want to be completely enveloped in him. It was unsettling. With a shake of her head, she came back to reality. “Yeah, I’ll probably stop by for a few minutes. Is it okay if I bring someone?” Thank goodness, her voice was strong and didn’t betray her nervousness.

  His eyes narrowed, and his shoulders stiffened when she asked.

  She glanced around to see what would cause him to suddenly seem upset, but when she didn’t find anything, her gaze swiveled back to his.

  “Who you bringin’ around my crib, baby girl?”

  “Just a friend, why? You want her number, too?” She sneered as she pulled her gaze away and reached around to gather up her sketchpad and drawing pencils.

  “Ah, so it’s... one of your girls?”

  Tia’s head snapped up when she heard the hesitation in his voice.

  His hand was rubbing the back of his neck, and his eyes were looking down at the busted up Coke can on the concrete.

  Her eyes narrowed when she realized that he might actually care if she brought a guy. Interesting.

  Another car passed by slowly, windows down and bass bumping, and drew Tommy’s attention. She watched with a small smile on her face as he gave the driver another one of his nods and threw up deuces before he turned back to look at her.

  “What?” he asked when he saw her smile.

  Giving him an exaggerated eye roll, she threw her legs over the side of the fire
escape to climb down the ladder. When she reached the bottom, she hopped off and faced him.

  He was looking at her legs, which were bare since she was wearing super short shorts, ones she never wore out of her apartment, but she forgot she had them on when she decided to join him on the street. To distract him, she asked, “Why do you do that?”

  His head snapped up. “Do what?”

  “Act all thuggish and gangsta?” she said, forcing her voice to take on a slight street accent.

  “Baby girl, you know why.” He rolled his head and put his arms out to the side.

  “Yeah, well, I can’t remember, so why don’t you tell me?”

  He closed the distance between them and threw his arm over her shoulder.

  To anyone else, the move probably looked casual, but inside, her heart rate sped up.

  Touching him always did that to her. The heat from his body warmed her, and the feel of his large, callused hands on her much softer skin made her imagine what it would feel like if he ran those rough-skinned fingers all over her body. The thought made her want to shiver, but she had to fight it. It was eighty-five degrees outside; he’d know something was up if she had that type of reaction.

  Instead, she prompted him and tried to distract herself. “Well?”

  His soft voice so close to her ear wasn’t helping. “I am a gangsta, baby girl.” When she snorted, he gave her shoulder a small squeeze. “Tia, you know I run this neighborhood. I’ve got a reputation to uphold if I want everyone to stay in line and respect me the way I’ve earned. I got boys under me, buyers to keep an eye on, and suppliers that would put a bullet between my eyes if I fucked up or looked weak.”

  Her body finally gave in to the shiver she’d been fighting, but it was for a different reason. She hated the idea of him doing what he did. Even more, she hated the thought of him being harmed or killed, which she knew was a real possibility where they lived.

  “I know you hate this life, baby girl, which is why I’m so happy you’re getting out of this hell hole and making a life for yourself.”

  “Tommy, when we talked about that, we talked about both of us getting out of here. Not just me!” She looked up at him, imploring him with her eyes. “Remember? You always said you wanted to go live down south, by the beach. Or maybe even all the way to the west coast, Cali, or something like that. You said you didn’t care as long as you were by the water. Some place peaceful and beautiful. Don’t you still want to go there, live the rest of your life by the sea?”

  For a brief moment, he got a wistful look in his eyes as he stared off.

  Tia could see he was imaging just that. Living by the water where it was calm and peaceful. Tommy had always had a fascination with the beach and the ocean, saying the thought of the waves crashing and the sand between his toes made him feel more relaxed than anything ever had. The idea of Tommy peaceful and happy was something she’d always hoped for, especially given the life he lived.

  All too quickly, the hopeful look left his eyes, and he refocused on her. “T, you know as well as I do those were just little kid dreams we shared late at night. We were like, what? Twelve and fourteen? You told me stories of how you wanted to be a famous artist, and I just told you stories about myself to encourage you.”

  “Why would you do that?” Tia asked in confusion.

  “Well, I couldn't tell you about the nightmares.”

  “What are you talking about, Tommy?”

  “The nightmares I had every night, the ones that reminded me that I wasn't a good person and never would be...” He hesitated, but quickly recovered, and before she could comment, he continued. “You know as well as I do that I never had a chance of leaving the hood. I was born here, and I’ll die here, baby girl.”

  “That’s not true! You could too, Tommy, you’re so smart…” She trailed off when he stopped and turned to face her, both his hands on her shoulders, giving her a small squeeze to make sure he had her attention. When she looked up, his face was a mask of seriousness.

  “It’s too late for me, Tia, you know that. There’s no going back, but I can make damn sure you and my baby sister get out of this hood alive.”

  Tia’s eyes teared up, and she quickly blinked the moisture away. It might have been a rough way of saying it, but he was only telling her the truth.

  They were both quiet for a minute, lost in the reality that was their lives. Finally, Tommy broke the silence in his usual joking way. “So, what’ch ya wearing tonight, baby girl?”

  Tia rolled her eyes and elbowed him as she pulled away and turned around. “I’ll see you later,” she yelled over her shoulder as she walked back toward the fire escape. As she lifted her foot and placed it on the bottom rung, she looked back at him.

  His eyes were intense, lacking the usual lust and flintiness they held when he looked at her or any girl. When he seemed to realize she was watching him, he shook his head slightly before moving his gaze to her ass.

  “I hate to see you go, baby girl, but I sure do love to watch you leave.”

  Tia didn’t even bother to give him a response. Instead, she made her way up the ladder, a sad smile on her lips.

  Location: Brooklyn, New York

  Date: August 12, 1995 9:46 pm

  Ice Cube’s “It was a Good Day” reached her ears as soon as the elevator doors opened onto Tommy’s floor. If it were anyone else having a party, the cops would’ve probably been called already, but since it was T-Dogg, everyone knew to leave him alone.

  As she stepped over the threshold onto the wooden floor, her heels clicked a little too loudly, and her dress rode up her thighs a little higher than she was comfortable with. Reaching down, she tugged at the hem, hoping it would somehow miraculously become longer.

  “Tia, stop doing that!” Smacking her hand away from the dress, her best friend Jasmine grabbed her arm and yanked her down the hall in the direction of the loud thumping bass. “You’re like a little kid. I swear, I can’t take you anywhere.”

  “Well, you don’t have to. I’m perfectly fine going right back home,” Tia said as she tried to pull free from her friend’s death grip.

  Giving another yank, she pulled Tia close once again and gave her a dirty look. “Oh no, you don’t! This is the only party I’ve been able to drag you to all year. You always have your nose stuck in a book or that drawing pad of yours. How you expect to get a man like that, I have no idea!”

  Tia rolled her eyes at the complaining, something she’d grown accustomed to in the three years they’d been tight. “Did it ever occur to you that I might not want a man?”

  Jasmine gave Tia a pointed look. “Keep telling yourself that, baby. I see how you look at T-Dogg.”

  “Ugh, could you not call him that?”

  “I would stop if he’d let me, but we all know he won’t let anyone call him anything other than that.”

  “He lets me,” Tia said defiantly.

  “Yes, he does, and you’re the only one besides his family. So what does that tell you?”

  “I don’t know; what?” Tia asked as they reached the door that was vibrating with the music coming from the other side.

  She lifted her hand to knock, but Jasmine wrapped her fingers around her friend’s wrist to stop her. Tia looked at the other girl in confusion.

  “Tia, girl, you need to get a clue. That boy is as into you as you are him.”

  “Pah-lease!” Tia laughed, even though her stomach jumped a little at the thought. “Tommy hits on every girl his eyes land on, but not once has he hit on me. Trust me, girl, he’s not even the least bit interested.”

  “You are so clueless sometimes!” Jasmine said with a sigh.

  “What? I’m right, and you know it!”

  “No, girl, what I know is that Tommy only lets you call him by his real name, he watches you like a hawk when you’re around, he won’t let any of his boys even look at you, much less ask you out, and the only reason why he hasn’t hit on you is because he cares too much about you.”

&nb
sp; “Whatever! Do you even hear yourself? That doesn’t make any sense! If he liked me, he’d have no problem telling me. Lord knows he doesn’t mince words with any of the other million girls he’s been with.”

  Jasmine let out a deep sigh of resignation when she realized Tia wasn’t going to give up her denial. “Look, will you just pay attention tonight? Watch the way he watches you, how he talks to you, and how he gives every other guy who checks you out the death glare. Can you do that?”

  Tia rolled her eyes, but decided to concede so they could just go to the party and get it over with. “Fine, whatever.”

  Jasmine smiled and released Tia’s wrist, giving her a mock warning glare before looking at the wooden door in front of them.

  “Can I knock now?”

  “Yes!”

  As Tia lifted her hand, her mind quickly ran over what she’d just been told. She’d never shared her secret feelings for Tommy with Jasmine, but she’d figured it out pretty quickly. She was perceptive like that, which made Tia wonder if her friend could be right about T-Dogg’s feelings. Tia had noticed odd looks or silly comments occasionally from him, but she’d always written it off because moments later, he’d be hitting on some skanky girl that was nearby.

  Before she could think about it any further, the door opened, and the loud music from before became almost unbearable. How someone even heard them knock was a complete mystery.

  Jasmine was through the door first, and the guy who opened it gave her an appreciative once over as he held the door for them. When his eyes landed on Tia, he jerked them back up and gave her a respectful nod. She recognized him instantly.

  “Hey, Jay!” She greeted Tommy’s best friend.

  He offered a small smile as he shut the door, and then leaned closer so she could hear him better. “Hey, Tia, T-Dogg’s in the kitchen. He said for me to send you his way when you got here.”

  “Okay, thanks!” She waved, took her friend's hand, and weaved through the throng of bodies toward the kitchen.

  The apartment was packed, as it always was whenever Tommy had a party. Barely dressed girls littered the middle of the room, dancing—or at least their version of dancing. Really, it was more like having sex with clothes on. Tia could never understand how those girls jumped from guy to guy, getting so close and personal with each one as if they were just shaking hands. As far as Tia was concerned, they were all sluts. The guys were no better in their jeans and white wife-beater shirts, standing around the edge of the room, beer or bottle of liquor in hand, passing joints and eyeing the grinding girls while BS’ing with the boys.