Under The Willows (Jackson Bay #1)

by Ciara Shayee

  “I don’t want to get in trouble on my first shift.”

  “Maybe you’d like the punishment,” I offer, lightly skating my mouth over her neck, up her jaw, then across to her lips. Piper doesn’t fight me at all. Her hands grip my tee at my waist, her body leaning into mine as she teases me with the tip of her tongue until I allow her entry, the sweet soda she’s been drinking lingering on her breath along with the faint remnants of her lip balm.

  It’s a heady combination. She’s an intoxicating mix of sweetness and fire as she slides her hands up to my neck, rocking her hips against my thigh with a breathy cry that reminds me of the sounds she makes in bed.

  Muffled laughter from upstairs reminds me that my staff could walk down here any second. Cooling the heat before it can burn us both, I break away with a quiet groan and rest my forehead against hers.

  “You’re too much temptation for your own good.”

  She laughs quietly, her gaze too intense when I open my eyes and find her staring right at me. “Ditto, handsome. Ditto.”

  Taking one last kiss to get me through the evening, I take a big step away from her and decide distance is going to be key to making it through the shift without mauling her, not that I think she’d complain.

  “All right, you. Get back to work.”

  Smirking, she salutes me. “Sir, yes, Sir.”

  Lightly swatting her butt, I grin and get to work switching the beer barrels over for Lily, reminding Piper what she came down here for when it becomes obvious she’s forgotten.

  I won’t lie, it’s a massive ego boost for this nearly-thirty-nine-year-old, knowing that I can thoroughly distract Piper when she could have her pick of any guy, knowing that it’s me she wants. I can’t help but notice the attention she receives when she’s out and about; it’s impossible to miss it. Even tonight, there have been more than a few gawking guys admiring her, and who could blame them? It doesn’t help that she radiates joy wherever she goes, that sunny smile of hers offset by the vibrancy of her hair and the unusual gray hue of her eyes.

  We have Lily and TJ up there with us tonight, Brayden, Jones, and Kelly in the kitchen. We’re running like a well-oiled machine and it feels like Piper’s been here all along.

  “Great job poaching Piper, boss. She fits in perfectly,” Lily tells me with a grin a few minutes after I return, just in time to see Piper waving one of her happy tables out the door.

  Flashing Lily a smile and a nod, I wait until she’s distracted before searching out Piper again. My stomach flips when she catches me looking and winks, and that’s when I know…

  I’m not just falling hard for Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo.

  *

  Pulling up outside Piper’s house on Saturday morning, I’m not even a little surprised to see the boys and Max all camped out on the porch. The puppy is loosely tied to the porch railing, the boys sitting on the steps beside him. Their faces light up when I step out onto the sidewalk. “Are you all ready to go?”

  “Kellan!” Jaxson turns to thump the propped-open front door with his fist. “Momma, Kellan’s here!”

  After pausing to untie Max, Arlo tears down the path with the puppy and his brothers hot on his heels. Crashing into my legs, he peers up at me with his usual cheeky grin, his hair tied in a bun on top of his head. “Hey, buddy,” I chuckle, tapping his nose. “Are you ready to go to Lake Eola?”

  Piper wasn’t kidding when she invited me to go to the park with them, and because she’s mean and knows how to get me, she got the boys to tag team me and talk me into putting off paperwork to spend the day at Lake Eola with them today. Truthfully, I’m glad of the break; it’s been hectic at Burger Co., even for early August. Any thoughts I had about working on a brand expansion have been thrown to the wayside because I’ve been working as much as possible to help ease the pressure on my crew. Add to that trying to spend time with Piper and the boys, and I haven’t had a free moment.

  “Momma’s made us a huge picnic,” Finley tells me.

  As I grin and ruffle his hair, the woman herself appears lugging a basket that looks heavier than her.

  “Christ, Piper,” I chuckle, rushing to take it from her. “How many people are you feeding?”

  Cocking her head, she offers me a smirk and locks up the house. “You realize the boys are coming, right? This might last us the morning, just about. They’ll still be hungry before dinner.”

  “I actually don’t doubt that,” I concede, knowing better than to underestimate the appetites of those boys. “Are you ready?”

  After checking her purse, she grins and slides her sunglasses over her eyes. “I sure am. Let’s get movin’.”

  Deciding it’s easier to leave the boys’ seats where they are and take Piper’s Traverse, I grab my stuff from the Jeep and climb into the passenger seat while Piper reminds the boys to behave because we have an hour and a half in the car now.

  “Can we stop for a shake?” Finley wonders.

  Grinning, I reach for the cardboard cup holder in the footwell, glad the boys were too distracted getting themselves and Max into the car to notice it. “You didn’t think I’d come empty-handed, did you, buddy?”

  Finley’s eyes light up as I hand him his to-go shake—Oreo whipped cream and chocolate shavings, heavy on the shavings. I’m sure I’ll regret filling them with sugar right before a long drive, but they’ll be able to run it off at the park.

  “Thanks, Kellan!”

  Jaxson and Arlo are equally appreciative of their shakes, but it’s Piper’s smile that makes me cock my head in question. “What?”

  “Nothing,” she lies, shaking her head as she shifts the car into reverse and rolls us off the driveway.

  “I brought one for you, too.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yep, but you have to guess the right flavor to get it, though.”

  “Ooh, a game! Good luck, Momma,” Finley says between slurps of his drink.

  Piper makes a good show of pretending to think before shooting me a wink as we cruise by the ‘Welcome to Jackson Bay’ sign on the way toward Orlando.

  “Is it Oreo cheesecake, by any chance?”

  “It sure is,” I murmur, handing it over and making my situation, uh, hard, by watching her sneak a few pulls through the straw before setting the cup in the drinks holder. Okay, so giving her something to suck on maybe wasn’t my best idea.

  “Winner, winner, chicken dinner!” Arlo crows, explaining his crazy away with a shrug and a goofy grin.

  I couldn’t love him more.

  *

  When Piper invited me to join her and the boys at the park, it was easy to push the memories I have of there to the back of my mind.

  Naively, I thought their presence would be enough to keep the memories at bay.

  But being here, having those memories shoved in my face everywhere I turn, is disorientating.

  I can tell Piper has noticed my distraction, but I try to hide it from the boys. I smile and laugh with them as they take turns dropping sticks into the water from the little bridge, watching to see whose gets to the other side the quickest. Max is thoroughly confused by the whole thing, almost tipping himself into the water in his attempts to get the sticks as they sail past him.

  After a slow, leisurely lap of the lake, I spy Piper watching me and link our fingers together, swinging them between us for a few paces before giving them a squeeze and releasing her, stuffing my hands in my pockets so they can’t get me into trouble.

  “Can we go on the swings?” Jaxson yells from up ahead when we get within sight of the playground.

  “Sure. Arlo, stay with your brothers!”

  I don’t think he’s listening, but he waves over his shoulder. Smirking, I shake my head.

  “I’m gonna go smother them in sunscreen,” Piper says softly when we get to the gate leading into the playground. Looping her arm around my waist, she gives me a quick hug and tries to hide the worry in her eyes when I mee
t her gaze. I was thinking I’d been doing well at concealing how this place makes me feel, but apparently not.

  I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I can’t be normal for you.

  “Come join us when you’re ready, okay?” she finally breathes instead of pressing me. I’m grateful for her understanding.

  Only once I’ve taken Max’s leash from Piper and watching her jog in to join the boys, hauling them off the jungle gym to slather them in sunscreen, do I sigh and let my feet carry me to a spot I’ve occupied many times over the years. Max bumbles along beside me, more than content to flop down at my feet and chew the grass when I come to a standstill.

  With my back to the playground, my eyes on the Orlando skyline, I release a shaky breath and allow all the emotions rushing around inside me to bubble to the surface.

  Here, I feel close to her. Here, with the rippling lake at my feet and the quiet click of the branches overhead clicking together in the breeze. Here, where I both learned of her existence and chose her name.

  Under the willows.

  Twenty-two

  Piper

  “There you go, kiddo.”

  “Thanks, Momma!” Arlo yells as he shoves his Gators cap onto his head, tugging his short ponytail through the hole in the back as he runs to join Jaxson and Finley in the digger sand pit. Confident they’re basted in sunscreen like Thanksgiving turkeys in butter, I turn my attention to Kellan.

  My heart thumps harder when I locate him over by the water, Max at his feet, the city his backdrop, and the willow branches his frame.

  If it weren’t for the fact that I can see the tide of grief threatening to swallow him whole, I’d be tempted to take a picture. He’s so beautiful, even fighting the demons that haunt him.

  Glancing at my boys to make sure they’re okay, I rise from my crouched position and sit on the bench behind me. I can’t even comprehend how it must feel to lose a child, and Kellan was forced to watch the accident that stole his from him. I was heavily pregnant when it happened, just days from delivering Jaxson and Finley, and I still remember Mom’s voice when she called to tell me there had been an accident.

  “Phew,” I pant, sucking in a deep breath before snatching my phone from the table. Being thirty-five weeks pregnant with twins is no damn joke. “Mom, hi. Sorry, it takes me a while to get anywhere and my cell was on the kitchen table.”

  Instead of her usual, cheery greeting, I’m met with silence. Frowning, I check the screen to make sure the call hasn’t dropped before raising it to my ear again. “Mom?”

  “Honey…” she trails off, and I hear mumbling in the background. Dad, maybe. Fear takes hold of my stomach.

  “Is everything okay? Are you all right? And Dad?” The names of my siblings stumble out of my mouth, followed by my grandparents. She assures me they’re all fine before pausing and clearing her throat. “And Kellan…”

  Her silence confirms that I’ve hit the nail on the head.

  “Mom, is Kellan okay?”

  “Piper, honey, remember to breathe, okay? Is Jude there?”

  “No, she’s—” I hear keys in the door, then Jude appears in the doorway with pinched brows. “She’s right here,” I admit, my lip wobbling. Mom must have called her. “Mom, Kellan—”

  “He’s hurt, but he’s going to be okay,” she finally sighs, her voice thick with tears when she continues. “There’s been an accident.”

  I can still remember the icy fear that slithered through my veins when those words left her mouth. She stayed on the phone with me for almost an hour while Jude held me as I sobbed for Kellan, Shannon, and beautiful little Willow.

  “The car was going almost sixty miles per hour when it hit the Jeep. Honey, Willow was inside.”

  Kellan saw that. He was a front-row spectator. Then he spent two weeks by her bedside waiting for her to wake up. Shannon was ‘too distraught to see her that way,’ so Mom and Dad were on a rotation making sure Kellan was never alone. I still don’t understand how Shannon could stay away. If any of my boys were in hospital, the doctors would have to drag me away kicking and screaming.

  A shudder ripples down my spine despite the midday heat. Taking a few mouthfuls of water from the bottle in my bag, I blow out a breath and try to decide if I’ve given Kellan long enough. He needs support, not distance. He needs comfort, not people walking away from him and leaving him to wallow in his grief. He was once the life of every party. Now he’s a shell of the man I remember, though I’m starting to see glimpses of the old Kellan. Little moments when he thinks nobody is looking, when his guard is down.

  When he hasn’t moved an inch after twenty minutes, I tell the boys to stay where I can see them and jog out of the gated playground, slowing when I near Kellan. Max looks up at me, his tail thumping the grass a few times before he’s distracted by a falling leaf.

  Kellan’s shoulders rise and fall in a deep, shaky breath just as my palm lands at the small of his strong back.

  “Kellan…” I whisper, just for the comfort of having his name on my lips.

  Without facing me, he lifts an arm and tugs me into his side. His grip is almost bruising, but I hold him just as tight, hoping he can take comfort from me. I follow his glazed eyes out over the water, listening to the quiet lap of the lake meeting the shore and the soft brush of the willow tree leaves overhead. Even with the children screaming and squealing at our backs, it’s peaceful—until I hear Kellan mumble a curse, his free hand angrily dashing tears from his cheeks.

  “I was sitting over there when Shannon called to tell me she was pregnant.”

  Hesitating, I follow his nod to a wide willow tree trunk a few feet away. I can imagine a younger Kellan sitting there, his handsome face made even more so by his lopsided grin.

  God, he adored Willow. She was his world the same way the boys are mine. They were made to be together, made to be each other’s sunshine.

  “I’d had a horrendous day, that day. We were already behind with the construction on the house when a pipe burst, so I was sleeping in a tent in the back yard. Your mom and dad made me come stay with you guys when they found out.” Kellan shakes his head, his gaze far-off, his thoughts clearly in the past. I think I remember it, actually. Mom made up the den for him. “We’d been trying for nearly six years by then, had two rounds of fertility treatments. Willow was our last shot. We’d spent every last penny.”

  “I didn’t know that,” I admit softly, realizing it would have been odd if I had. I was only fifteen when Willow was born, too young to have been privy to those kind of details about Kellan and Shannon’s life.

  “We didn’t talk about it much.” Quietly, he admits, “I didn’t talk about it much. I was so ashamed that we couldn’t do something I felt should be natural, easy. When we first got married, I wasn’t ready to rush into having babies. By the time Willow came along, I was so ready to be a dad.”

  This time, as tears drip over his cheeks, he ignores them. My heart aches for him, this man who has to fight so hard to be happy.

  “I was here when I decided on her name, too. I was inspired.”

  I look up at the shifting, swirling swaths of green interspersed with streaks of blue sky. “That’s beautiful,” I whisper, wondering if she can see us now, knowing she’s here.

  Kellan tilts his head, resting his cheek against my crown.

  As soon as the next words leave my mouth, I know I’ve hit a nerve. “She was your little clone.”

  He flinches. “So I’ve been told.”

  “Momma!” The screech of the playground gate and Jaxson’s nervous whine has us both spinning around. “Finley fell over, Momma,” he pants, sprinting back to his brothers once he’s sure we’ve heard him. I can see Finley sitting on the floor through the bars of the fence, so with a quick apology, I leave Kellan and take off after Jaxson. When I get closer and see that Finley just has skinned knees and knocked pride, I relax.

  “What happened, kiddo?” I soothe, kissing his sweaty forehead
before scooping him up and sitting on the bench with him on my lap.

  “I t-tripped,” he stutters, palming his red cheeks as he tries to stifle tears. My sweet, sensitive middle child. Pointing at his sneakers, he sighs. “My laces got loose.”

  “Do you know how to tie those, buddy?” Kellan asks, appearing over my shoulder. I glance over, finding Max sitting patiently by the fence, his big eyes trained intently on us. He can’t come in the playground area, but he’s content nearby.

  Finley shakes his head, watching Kellan as he drops to a crouch in front of us. “Do you want to learn how? My dad taught me the bunny trick when I was about your age. I bet you’ll get it easy peasy.”

  Glancing up at me, Finley waits for my nod before facing Kellan and murmuring “Yes, please” like the good, polite boy I’m raising him to be.

  “All right. So you take both laces like this, see?”

  Patient and slow, Kellan walks Finley through the steps. He does it the first time, then Finley gives it a try. My smile borders on painful when Jaxson and Arlo drop down onto the asphalt to try it, too. Kellan lets Finley keep practicing while he shows his brothers how to do it with the same level of patience.

  “Like this, Kelly?” Arlo asks, shooting me an odd look when I snort and grin at Kellan’s wince. “What?”

  “Kellan doesn’t like being called ‘Kelly,’ kiddo,” I laugh, remembering how much he used to hate it when Dad would teasingly call him ‘Kelly.’

  “Oh.” Arlo frowns.

  “It’s okay, buddy. You can call me whatever you like.”

  “You’ll regret saying that.”

  Kellan raises his eyebrows. “Why?”

  “Because he’ll probably come up with some ridiculous nickname now.”

  Arlo flashes us both a mischievous look and nods. “Yep. I’m gonna think of somethin’ good and funny.”

  “Good and funny sounds perfect to me,” Kellan tells him with a wink, tapping the peak of his hat before looking up at me. I’m pleased to see that some of the lightness from this morning, when he first picked us up, has returned. “Shall we go find a spot to eat our picnic?”