His Frozen Heart

by Georgia Le Carre

Ah, it was dinner that had been burnt.

  I frowned. I knew I hadn’t missed a dinner date.

  I went upstairs taking the stairs two at a time. I went straight to the children’s room. They were both asleep. I kissed their soft faces. I knew I was missing out on too much. I could see just by how much space they were taking up in their little beds that they were growing fast. I loosened my tie and decided then that it was time to make some changes to my life. I didn’t want to completely miss out on their childhood. I went to our bedroom and Christine was sitting by the fireplace. She’d been drinking, her eyes were glazed.

  “Well, well,” she slurred. “Look what the cat dragged in.”

  “I’ll sleep in the guest bedroom,” I said, turning away.

  “That’s right, run away. Little coward,” she taunted.

  I whirled around. “Why do you drink if you can’t handle it?”

  “Why do you drink if you can’t handle it?” she mimicked. “I drink because I’m unhappy, Cade. Because I’m so damn unhappy.”

  I felt nothing. “Do you want a divorce?”

  “Divorce,” she shrieked. “That’s your fucking answer to everything, isn’t it?”

  “Well, if you’re so unhappy with me and this arrangement doesn’t suit you, I would have thought the best solution would be to get divorced. I’m not exactly jumping for joy at our situation,” I said reasonably.

  She flew out of her chair. “You’re not jumping for joy. Could have fooled me. I was under the impression that things were exactly how you wanted them, you godless, heartless man. You’ve got your position, your work, your money, a wife who is begging for a little love from you, two beautiful children. What more could you ask for?”

  I shrugged. “Peace of mind when I get back from work?”

  It was as if I had detonated her nuclear button. She went insane. She ran at me screeching like a witch, her face contorted, her fingers extended and ready to rake her nails down my face. I caught her and held her easily. “Calm down, Christine. Calm the fuck down.”

  As soon as she stopped kicking and screaming and became still, I let go of her. She stepped back and looked into my eyes. Hers were filled with hatred.

  “I’ll ask Stephen to start to draw up the divorce papers tomorrow.”

  “It’s so easy for you, isn’t it?”

  “I don’t understand you. You hate me. You’re unhappy and yet you don’t seem to want a way out. What do you want?”

  “I want you to love me,” she cried.

  I looked at her in astonishment. Did she not know? You can’t make yourself love someone. You either feel it or you don’t, and I don’t. I never have. “I’m sorry, but I don’t love you, Christine.”

  She shook her head. “What a fool I’ve been. Throwing my love at you. Well, enough is enough. Go on. Go and sleep in the guest bedroom. Have a good sleep.”

  I stood there for another moment and then I turned around and walked towards the guest bedroom. Really, I slept so much there most of my clothes were there anyway. It was nearly one in the morning, but I still had some work I needed to finish so I lay on the bed, propped up on pillows and fired up my laptop. In no time I was so completely engrossed with the figures on my screen I almost didn’t hear the engine of a car start up. But in the silence of the night, it jarred on the edges of my consciousness. I left my laptop on the bed and went to the window. I was just in time to see my wife driving away. Instantly I knew what she had done. I ran to my children’s bedroom.

  She had taken both of them.

  I phoned her.

  When she picked up the call she was crying so hard she was sobbing.

  “Christine, come back. Let’s talk about this,” I said as calmly as I could, even though my heart was pounding with fear. In the background I could hear my son start crying.

  “Shut up,” she screamed at him.

  “Christine. Look, just come back. You’ve been drinking. You shouldn’t be driving.”

  “Come back for what?”

  “Just come back. I’ll change. I’ll be different.”

  “You’re a liar, Cade Mortenson. A big, fat, liar.”

  “Please—”

  The rest of her words were cut off by a blood-curdling scream and the sound of a crash. For a few seconds I couldn’t even move. I couldn’t believe it. The phone never cut off. I heard the whole thing. I couldn’t let go of the phone even though the sounds I heard were horrific. They will never ever leave me. I can’t ever get those sounds out of my head. I screamed her name and I heard a raspy breath. Then she said. “I hope you’re happy now.”

  Adrenaline pumping through my veins, I called the police while I ran down the stairs. I jumped into my car and sped down the road. I didn’t get too far. I slammed on the brakes and every nerve in my body felt like it was on fire.

  Her car had collided with a ten-ton truck. It was so crushed it was unrecognizable. I didn’t run. I walked towards the smoking wreck in a daze. I already knew no one could have survived it.

  What I saw I would never forget for as long as I lived.

  Katrina

  He cleared his throat and tried to get hold of himself while I tried to keep my face from showing my horror. I don’t think I was successful. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what he had gone through must have been like. I would rather dance for a million men than go through that.

  “I was careless,” he whispered. “She was right. I was a heartless monster. I cared only for myself. I should have seen that she was at breaking point. I never should have let her go. If only I had cared enough in that one moment everything would be different right now. My girl could sleep through anything, but I could hear my boy crying in the background. I blame myself for their passing. It is my responsibility to own and rightly so.”

  “No, it’s not your fault,” I cried passionately. “You were not the one who got into a car while you were drunk. You didn’t crash it.”

  He turned to look at me with tortured eyes. “Yes, it is my fault. She was going to her mother’s. Another three miles and she would have made it. If only I hadn’t called her she may have made it.”

  “We’ll never know, but I know this much. Terrible, terrible accidents happen every day. Things that crush our souls, things that we have no control over. This is just one of those things.”

  He ran his hands through his hair distractedly. “Talking about it has brought it all back, Katrina. I don’t think a day will come when I will be able to feel less guilty. I don’t know if I can live here with people. It was better when I was up on the mountain.”

  “Why did you come down from the mountain then?”

  “Because I had to find you. Without you the mountain was impossible.”

  I smiled. “Then I will come up to the mountain and be with you. How about we live on the mountain and attempt to negotiate society bit by bit, huh?”

  He nodded. That blanket of sadness around him would not shift. Maybe it would never shift, but I knew I could bring him happiness. One day we would have kids of our own. One day, I would bring him back to civilization.

  One day, I would make it all right again.

  I walked up to him and lay my cheek against his chest. “I don’t know much about you, and I hardly know your history, but I know I love you, Cade,” I whispered. “You are not someone I met a few days ago. You are my soulmate. I’ve always known you.”

  He circled me with his arms. “I don’t know if what I feel is love, my heart has been frozen for so long, but this thing is so strong, I’m willing to climb mountains, cross seas, and die for it.”

  I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. “If that is not love, I don’t know what is.”

  “In that case, I love you, Katrina.” He stopped and scratched his chin. “Shit, I don’t even know your last name.”

  I grinned. “It’s Katrina Black.”

  He smiled softly. “It doesn’t matter I guess. It won’t be Katrina Black for much longer.”

  My heart felt as i
f it wanted to burst out of my chest. “We’ll take it step by step, okay. One day at a time. We have all the time in the world.”

  He touched my lower lip. “You know, sometimes I thought of you as an angel. The way you appeared out of nowhere and brought such joy and light into my world.”

  “Actually, my stage name is Angel. I come out in a little white costume complete with wings.”

  He smiled. “Suits you. Sometimes looking down at you sleeping below I felt like Silas Marner looking at the golden hair of the child he found and thinking he had found his lost gold coins again. You are my lost gold. It’s your challenge if you choose to accept it.”

  “What’s that?” I asked curiously.

  “The challenge to keep me from turning into old man Gafford. If you stay with me, I’ll be less likely to turn into a miserable old mountain hermit. Are you up for it?”

  I smiled. “Oh, it’s not going to be that hard to cheer you up. I’ve already figured out how to do that and I’ve only been with you for a few days.

  He looked deep into my eyes. “Yes, that you have done.”

  “Before we do anything else, I want to tell you about what happened with your mother first, and then I want to tell you about my sister.”

  We talked for hours, and hours, and hours that night, and the next night, and the next night …

  Epilogue

  Katrina

  One Year Later

  “It all looks so beautiful,” I breathed, looking around me in wonder. My sister had made the most beautiful arbor for us to stand under for our marriage. Then she found some guys to place it near the creek and tied fresh wild flowers from the mountain around it. Tea light votive candles hung from the top of the arbor. It was rustic and simple and beautiful.

  “You’re not just saying that? I mean, you could have had the grandest society wedding America has seen in forever. Better than Kim Kardashian’s wedding.”

  “Which one?”

  “OK, OK,” she said with a laugh.

  I looked into my sister’s eyes. They were sparkling with health and I had to swallow hard to stop myself from crying. After her first operation, she opened her eyes and thanked me. She told me I was not her sister, but an angel sent by God. I shook my head and told her she was the angel sent by God. If she had not been sick I would not have taken Lynn’s job. I never would have met Cade. And my life would have been that boring humdrum existence.

  “Yes, I promise you this is exactly what I wanted,” I said, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. “As long as you are here to see this then I don’t need anyone else but Cade to be here.”

  She laughed. “Fine with me. If you’re happy, then I’m happy.”

  “I am happy. Wildly, unreasonably, incredibly happy.”

  She grinned. “Ok.”

  “Come on then, I need to get into my dress.”

  We waved at Big Bill and left him waiting outside the cabin. Big Bill was the only guy in town ordained to perform marriages. I think he went to some kind of spiritualist group to be given the right, but whatever. He was a really nice guy, and was endearingly happy to come out and perform the ceremony for us in exchange for a few freshly caught trout from the creek and a bottle of homemade gin.

  Yup, I made the gin. I found out I have a special talent for making moonshine.

  We went into the cabin. Did I mention that the cabin looks completely different now? Cade increased it to double its original footprint. I insisted on one thing though, that we keep the sleeping arrangements above, exactly as it was when I first arrived. For some strange reason, climbing into bed with Cade at night always gives me a flutter in my stomach. Sometimes it makes me a bit sad that we no longer live here full time.

  Cade announced one summer morning that he was done hiding on the mountain. He wanted to start a brand-new life and he was going to move the sculpture of me that he made when we first met from the cabin back to our home in the city. It was the first piece he had not thrown away or destroyed. He told me he planned to, but when he lifted his axe he simply couldn’t do it. Something in him had changed forever.

  So Cade and I started to spend more and more time in the outside world. Only retreating here when we wanted to be with only each other.

  Then one day, while we were out fishing, he got on his knees and proposed. Saying yes was the easiest decision I ever made. Actually, it wasn’t even a decision. I always knew he was my fate. From the moment I opened my eyes and saw that bear of a man my heart always knew I’d bitten off more than I could chew.

  And it was right. There was no chewing this one.

  This one swallowed me whole.

  Without Cade knowing, I had a wedding dress made for me by a little old lady in town. A gorgeous, simple white dress with a sweetheart neckline and scoop back. It was perfect. Simple and beautiful just like everything else around me, and what existed between Cade and I. Anna helped me into it, then she pinned flowers in my hair.

  “Oh, my God, Katrina. You’re so beautiful.”

  “If only Mom and Dad could see us now.”

  “They’re looking down on us, Katrina. They’re looking down on us,” she said softly.

  Tears filled my eyes then. “I love you, Anna.”

  “And I love you more.”

  When I walked out of the cabin and down the path to the arbor by the creek, Cade turned to look at me. The expression on his face when he saw me in my white dress will be engraved in my memory forever. I saw him blink back tears and then, of course, I started crying, like a damn waterfall. Thank God for waterproof mascara.

  He put his thumb under my chin. “You’re my life.”

  I knew then that we may not always have happy moments in our life together, but these good ones are so good they could outweigh any bad life could throw at us.

  Later tonight, I will tell him about the child growing in my belly.

  Epilogue II

  Lynn

  “I don’t know why you are moping around. You should be dancing with joy. You got Cade off the mountain, which is what you wanted, isn’t it?” Mason, my youngest son said heartlessly.

  “He’s marrying a stripper,” I snapped.

  He laughed. Unlike Cade who always cared whether he made me happy or not, Mason didn’t give a damn.

  “What’s so funny? You’re not embarrassed to have a stripper for a sister-in-law? All our friends must be laughing at us.”

  He shrugged. “I can see why he likes her.”

  “Don’t be disgusting.”

  Mason laughed again. “Don’t bust a gut, Mother. He’s happy. Plus, he’s forgiven you for what you did, which I think is very big of him. I don’t think I would have.”

  I ignored the jibe. “If he’s so happy, why have I not been invited to that, that pagan ceremony she calls a wedding.”

  “Probably because of what you just called it.”

  “What would you call it? Up there in the wilderness, with no family around. The man who is officiating is not even a preacher. I can’t believe my oldest son is doing this to me.”

  “He’s not doing anything to you. He’s just living his life. Don’t you think he deserves some happiness after what happened to him?”

  “Yes, yes, of course, but does it have to be with her?”

  He sighed. “You’re going to have to make peace with her soon. I have a feeling we’re going to be hearing the pitter patter of little feet soon enough.”

  I slumped into my chair. “Maybe they’ll break up.”

  “Don’t count on it. Last time I had dinner with them, Cade was well and truly gone and so was she.”

  My spine straightened. “When was that?”

  “A month ago.”

  I looked at him reproachfully. “And you never thought to invite me?”

  Mason smiled. “And ruin a perfectly good dinner. No.”

  I scowled. “I don’t know what I did to deserve sons like you and your brother.”

  Mason stood. “Right. I’ve got to go.”

&
nbsp; “Where are you going?”

  “I have a very interesting date to attend.”

  I felt a bit sour. One son had deserted me and the other was going on an interesting date. “Who is it?”

  “Well, it’s a sassy woman who is looking for a fake fiancé to take her to her ex’s wedding. I had nothing better to do so I volunteered.”

  I closed my eyes. I could feel a headache coming on.

  The End

  Mason’s story. Coming soon.

  Blind Reader Wanted

  Only Females Need Apply

  Blind Reader Wanted

  Published by Georgia Le Carre

  Copyright © 2017 by Georgia Le Carre

  The right of Georgia Le Carre to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the copyright, designs and patent act 1988.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

  All characters in this publication are fictitious, any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  ISBN: 9781910575-47-5

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  Appreciations

  I wish to extend my deepest and most profound gratitude to:

  Caryl Milton

  Elizabeth Burns