by S S Bazinet
Answer the door, Arel. You’re going to want to hear what I’m trying to tell you.
For nearly a week and a half, Michael had waited patiently. Now he stood firm. “Arel, please! I don’t want to alarm you, but Kevin and Tim are tracking you down. I think they might be coming here to see you very soon.”
Again there was silence, followed by the sound of movement, of something being banged about, Arel bumping clumsily into furniture. Finally, the door lock was turned back.
Arel peered out of the crack. “You’re not real, so how am I supposed to believe you?” His tone was wheezy, overlaid with panic.
“I’m as real as that glass angel on your dresser.”
Arel’s face remained shrouded in the darkness of the room. “I don’t understand what happened, how it got there.”
“We don’t have time to talk about it now. You’re going to have visitors soon.”
The door opened wide enough to expose Arel as he clung to the doorjamb. His face was almost healed, but all the light was gone from his eyes. He tried to run a bony hand through his hair, but it was a mass of impossible tangles. After a moment, his hand slid down to his overgrown beard. “My mind isn’t working very well,” he mumbled. Rubbing at the unruly stubble, he teetered back and forth.
“Arel, what have you done to yourself, to your body?”
Michael studied the person who stood in front of him. Arel was more of a shadow than a solid man. His life force was edging towards empty. Searching deeper, into Arel’s heart, Michael felt his own pull back. He needed a moment to maintain his calm, to believe that the vessel he was viewing wasn’t damaged beyond repair.
Arel didn’t seem to understand Michael’s concern. Legs and body trembling, he reached out a hand, touching Michael’s arm. “Are you sure that you’re real?”
“Of course I’m real, and I’m telling you that Kevin found a way to get your license plate from the security system at the hospital parking garage. He was able to find out where you live. Peggy is desperate to see you again.”
“Are you sure?” Arel’s brows came together, as if he was trying to understand, but he couldn’t quite put the information all together.
“They couldn’t reach you any other way. But they’re coming here to see you.”
Arel blinked back. Finally something seemed to click in his brain. His eyes caught and steadied. “How long? How much time do I have?”
“A couple of hours, maybe.”
A sudden fit of temper replaced Arel’s passive expression. “They have no right to do that!”
“They simply wanted to find you, to talk to you.”
Arel ignored him, turning and making his way back into his room. “I won’t let them . . . they can’t do this. I’m leaving.” After only a few steps, he began to falter.
Michael followed and reached out to take Arel’s arm. “Why are you so afraid of them?”
“They have no boundaries, only their own agendas! They’ve already violated my privacy. Who knows what they want from me.” Pulling away from Michael, Arel used the bed railing for support as he stumbled over to the closet.
“Running again isn’t going to help. How many lifetimes do you need in order to stop and realize that you have other choices?”
“As many as it takes to be left alone.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way. Let me help you.”
Arel’s hand tightened on the shirt he was holding. Turning towards Michael, his eyes were accusing. “You can’t. Even if you are real, your offers are worthless.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Why didn’t you help me when I called out for you, when I begged you to be there for me in the hospital?
“You called out, yes, but then you decided that I couldn’t help. You shut me out again.”
“I was scared out of my wits. What do you expect?”
“You can’t have it both ways. You can’t make decisions for yourself, and then blame me for the consequences. You say that you want me to help, but what does that mean?”
“It means keeping everyone away from me! I want to be left alone!”
“And I’m here to help you embrace life, to find happiness and joy again.”
“That’s it then, isn’t it? We have nothing to say to each other.”
“If you keep running, you’re going to run yourself into the grave.”
“That’s my business, not yours!”
“No matter how you feel about yourself, it’s not right to destroy your life.”
“I don’t give a damn about what you think!”
Michael walked over to the nightstand and picked up the car keys. His simple action was like water on a grease fire. Arel’s bony frame straightened instantly.
“Give me those!” Arel made a staggering lunge at Michael. Falling short of his mark, he landed on the floor. Spread out like an awkward fledging, he managed to raise his head enough to glare at Michael. His face was a mask of bitterness. “You’re like the rest of them, trying to take what little freedom I have. I hate you all!”
“I see.” Michael looked down with a mixture of compassion and frustration. “If that’s how you feel, why am I here?”
“I never asked you to come in the first place.”
“I remember a child calling out to the angels for help, but perhaps I shouldn’t have come.” Michael turned and put the keys back on the nightstand. “I won’t bother you anymore,” he said as he walked briskly to the door.
“Where are you going?”
“If you want to die, I can’t stop you.”
“You bastard! I trusted you!”
Arel’s loud, shrieking sob pierced the air with so much sorrow that Michael paused and looked back with tears in his own eyes. “And I have always loved you more than if you were my child or brother. I have always wanted to protect you more than you could know. But your trust in something outside of yourself has been conditional for many lifetimes, and I’ve always had to honor those conditions. Just like now, you give me no choice. Goodbye.”
“Stop!” Arel’s rage melted into a submissive look of despair. “What am I going to do? I don’t have the energy to get up.”
Michael hesitated. “Isn’t this the way it was when you were a boy, when your father beat you? But he’s not responsible for you laying here now. You’re not that boy anymore. And I’m not your enemy, even if you think that I am.”
Arel looked up, trying to get his breath. “Every time I want to believe that something good exists, I’m proven wrong. I’m tired of trying.”
“It’s not about finding goodness. You have to believe in who you are, that you have the power to create a better life for yourself.”
“I don’t know how! But that doesn’t matter now. Peggy and the others will be here soon. My god, what am I going to do?” He paused and stared at Michael again. “You said that you want to protect me. Stay and keep them away, please.”
“Is that what you really want?”
“Yes!”
Michael came over and held out his hand. “Agree to see them for a few minutes, and then I’ll see that they leave after that.”
“You won’t let Peggy get her hands on me?”
Michael shook his head. “No, I won’t.”
* * * * *
As the late afternoon sun lost itself behind a neighbor’s tree, Arel laid back on a garden lounger. He was wearing his dark glasses, recovering from the stress of simply getting ready for his visitors. He’d had to cling to the shower walls, letting the soothing hot water revive him a little. Shaving was too big a task. He’d merely trimmed his beard in a few places. He was too weak to manage his wild hair by himself. With Michael’s help, he’d tamed it back into a short, pony tail. He dressed in baggy sweats instead of his usual crisp shirt and slacks. By hiding the worst of his emaciated body, he hoped to appear fitter. Of course, that was a ludicrous desire. He looked as frail as a brittle bird, and he felt worse.
Michael tried to use his healing pow
ers to help with Arel’s body issues, but his physical body was in an extreme state. It was going to take time to work with it, especially with all of Arel’s trust issues. On the plus side, he’d begun to see Michael as a friend again. When asked, Michael stuck around.
As Arel’s advisor, Michael was very encouraging about what they could say to their visitors. “We’ll simply tell them that you’ve been ill.”
“Right, that’s plausible. People get sick all the time.”
Michael’s eyes had been so kind when he nodded. “Of course they do.”
Arel tried to calm his nervous tremors. “Promise that you won’t let any of them close, Michael. I’ve never felt so edgy.”
“You’ve indulged in a lot of prolonged paranoia recently. It’s taken a toll.”
“I feel like I’m in one of those Hitchcock films and something scary could jump out at any minute.” He looked up at the tree branches overhead. “The garden is safe, isn’t it? The birds aren’t crazy, right?”
Michael let out a laugh as he glanced up. “I’ll stand guard against the birds and beasts too.”
When the doorbell rang and Michael went to answer it, Arel realized that he felt a little better being in the garden. His surroundings were lush and vibrant. Michael’s energy was in every flower, tree and even the grass. There were no Hitchcock birds around, only the sweet sound of a wren singing a song to its mate.
“I can do this. Just a few minutes of sitting here, letting Michael do the talking, and they’ll be gone.” Arel held on to the thought as he closed his eyes.
Forty-Seven
WHEN THE DOORBELL rang, Michael answered it promptly and observed the four people who stared back at him. Arel was right in some respects. They did look like they had an agenda. “Hello, can I help you?”
There was a general shuffling of feet, but Carol stepped forward. “Yes, thank you. We know this might be an intrusion, but I wanted to know if a person by the name of Arel lives here.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
A general sigh of relief went through the group.
“That’s wonderful,” she said, glancing around at her companions. “My name is Carol, and these are my friends, Peggy, Tim, and Kevin. We would like to know if we can see Arel.”
“Yes, of course,” Michael said with a welcoming gesture. “Come this way. Arel is in the garden.”
* * * * *
“Arel! Hello!” The sound of Peggy’s voice rang out in the garden like a call to arms. Arel jerked up reflexively, gripping the thin cover he had over him. “Bloody hell!” He’d calmed himself enough to actually relax for at least thirty seconds. Now his startled gaze swept the garden path, following the carefully laid stones that led up to the house. He had a moment of relief when he saw Carol. She was walking down the path, slightly ahead of the others, but Peggy was behind her.
Where’s Michael? My god, where is he?
A moment of panic set in as his eyes zigzagged across the garden. Then he heard Michael’s voice in his head.
Don’t worry, I’m here. I’ll join you momentarily.
Michael was following the stream of visitors. His smile was reassuring. On the other hand, Carol’s smile was anxious as she hurried towards him. She stopped a few feet away from where Arel was lying on the lounge.
“Hi, Arel,” she said quickly. “Oh goodness!” Her voice elevated into a higher tone of disbelief as she stared at him.
Arel hesitated, reminding himself to keep up the ruse. He wasn’t supposed to know that she was coming. “Carol, what are you doing here?”
Before she could answer, Michael speedily moved in close to the side of Arel’s lounger. “Maybe you can give Arel a little room.”
The group seemed oblivious to his request as they formed a semi-circle in front of Arel.
“Holy smoke!” Kevin gasped. His wide, questioning eyes did a double take. “What happened to you?”
“Arel’s been under the weather,” Michael said. “And he needs a bit of space. Why don’t you all sit down over there?” He pointed to some lawn chairs that were at least eight feet away.
Ignoring the suggestion, everyone continued to stare at Arel.
“Oh Tim,” Peggy cried out, clinging to her fiancé, “I told you he was in trouble.”
Tim looked like he was alarmed himself. Instead of saying anything, he tightened his hold on Peggy’s arm.
Arel narrowed his eyes. His faulty vision was playing a game called, “Now you see them, now you don’t.” Being in terrible physical shape was another bad move. Even if he tried to run away, he’d probably only get a couple of feet before he dropped like a rock. “I’m fine.” He wheezed out the words.
Carol stood statue-like, blinking at him as her eyes misted over. “I’m sorry that you’re so sick.”
Arel had been shocked too when he saw himself in the mirror earlier. His color was nonexistent, so white he’d give chalk a run for the money. And he shook, trembled like a person did when they’d fallen through ice. But the temperature in the garden was pleasant, even warm. With large, black circles under his eyes and a scarecrow body, he could probably get an acting job in the Theatre of the Macabre.
Carol seemed to have a similar opinion. She looked at him like he belonged in a morgue.
When he picked up on her thoughts, they were questions. Where has his flesh gone? Can a person live without flesh?
Kevin directed his attention to Carol and spoke up. “Arel’s friend asked us to sit down.”
Arel noted that the muscular man’s voice had a gentle quality, but Carol frowned back at Kevin, as if his presence offended her.
When the group finally took the hint and found seats, Michael went around to each and introduced himself. Arel enjoyed the fact that Michael appeared to be very capable of interacting with Tim and Kevin. He made shaking hands look like an easy task.
Tim stared openly at the tall, blond man who was Arel’s exact opposite. “Glad to meet you, Michael.”
Kevin also seemed curious. He studied Michael and then Arel. After a moment, he pulled Michael close and spoke in a hushed tone. “So he’s just sick? He looks like somebody beat the hell out of him.”
Arel’s sensitive ears picked up the remark, but he interrupted Michael as he was about to answer. “By the way, how did you guys find me?” He let the question slip out so naturally and so unexpectedly that it took the group by surprise.
Tim and Kevin shot each other guilty glances, while Carol blinked again. Peggy stared straight ahead as if she’d been caught stealing candy.
Kevin spoke up. “Finding you was a pain in the ass if you want the truth, and also expensive. Bribing people isn’t cheap. But I’m sorry for barging in. We didn’t know you were sick.”
“Yes, we are sorry, but we didn’t know what else to do,” Tim added. “Kevin and I were both worried about Peggy. She’s been very concerned about you. It was affecting her health.”
Peggy shrugged. “I just wanted to know that you’re okay.”
Arel was relieved to see that Peggy wasn’t as bold as she’d been in the hospital. “Please don’t concern yourself. Michael is here, and he’s taking care of me.”
Peggy’s eyes flickered back and forth from Arel to Michael. “Arel, I hope that you don’t get offended, but I have to know . . . is Michael your . . . partner?”
Arel’s colorless cheeks finally managed to turn a bright shade of red. “He’s a friend.” He glanced up at Michael. “A very, good friend.”
Michael’s eyes widened as the group shifted their attention in his direction.
“Oh, lord, I’m sorry,” Peggy cried. “I just wanted to let you know that if you did have someone, they would always be welcome in our homes.”
Kevin and Tim were both borderline crimson, with faces that clearly indicated a need to disappear, but instead they started nodding at Peggy’s explanation.
Carol had been sitting quietly. Now her brows arched as a look of mortification set in. “I’m so sorry that we’ve i
ntruded, Arel. We had no business barging in like this.” She frowned disapprovingly at her friends. “Please accept our apologies.” She stood up and motioned to the others. “Come on, guys, we’re leaving. We’ve troubled Arel enough.”
Kevin and Tim were instantly on their feet.
“Yes, sorry if we bothered you,” Kevin offered.
Peggy was getting up too, but it was easy to see that her neck injury was causing her to move more slowly. Michael immediately came to her aid.
“Thank you, Michael,” Peggy gasped in a pained whisper. “I hope you’ll forgive me.” Her eyes began to well up. “I’ve really been so worried about Arel. I wanted to help him if he needed anything. Now I’ve embarrassed everyone. I’ve made a fool of myself.” She began to cry. A moment later, she was sobbing.
The sound of Peggy’s raw, plaintive outburst hit Arel like a massive wave. It wasn’t just that he was taking on her pain. This time the sounds of her misery ripped through his psyche. He was instantly sick with grief. Whatever kept him anchored to the world was destroyed by the impact.
I need to take care of her.
The words were meaningless as they echoed through his conscious mind. They came from some unknown depths. Yet, he felt compelled to comfort her. Even his fear of Peggy was sacrificed to some greater duty he had to her. He pushed himself forward on the lounger and tried to reach out to her. But when his eyes met hers, everything began to spin. Darkness closed in, and he began to fall off the lounger.
Michael tried to catch him, but it was too late. As his body hit the ground, Arel’s mind kept going. It fell through time. He wasn’t in the garden anymore. He was standing in the doorway of a thatched hovel, not as himself, but as a boy of about sixteen. A girl stood in front of him, at a crude table, dishing porridge into bowls. When she looked at him, her eyes brightened.
“Brother, you’re home,” she said.
