by S S Bazinet
They were magic words that opened up the life they shared as siblings. He wasn’t just her brother. He took care of her, protected her when their father was in a rage and tried to beat her. He offered himself instead. But he wouldn’t have it any other way. He loved her.
“My sister—”
The words were on his tongue as Arel came back to himself in the garden. It was like waking up from a dream, a good dream. Hours before, he’d been convinced that he wanted to die. And the thought of seeing Peggy was terrifying. Now, he felt so different about everything.
Michael helped Arel back onto the lounger, but he didn’t acknowledge Arel’s vision. Instead, he hastily ushered their visitors out. “Please everyone, if you could leave, Arel needs to rest. He’s really not up for company.”
Forty-Eight
AS THEY DROVE back home, Peggy sat next to Tim in the back seat of Kevin’s car. Cradled in Tim’s arms, she’d finally calmed down. “I can’t believe I started crying like that.”
Kevin gripped the steering wheel and glanced back at her. “Geez, Peg, it’s understandable. You were right about Arel. I never saw anyone that bad off who wasn’t in a hospital or a funeral home.”
“Kevin, please!” Peggy cried out.
“It’s okay. Take it easy,” Tim said as he pulled her a little closer.
Peggy dabbed at her nose. “I hope that I haven’t made it worse. I seem to be constantly upsetting him.”
Tim gave her a consoling smile. “At least Arel knows that you’re concerned about his welfare.”
Peggy directed her attention to Carol and sniffled. “Carol, you knew Arel first. I’m sorry that I’ve been a buttinsky and such an embarrassment to you. It’s just that I have these strong feelings about him, and I want to help.” She started crying again. “Sorry everyone, I feel so sad every time I think of him.”
“Your heart is in the right place,” Carol said as she looked back from the front passenger seat. “I think we overstepped our boundaries just dropping in, but your instincts were amazingly accurate about Arel’s condition.”
Kevin flashed a smile as he slowed for a stop light. “Michael gave me their phone number as we were leaving the garden. We can call and check on Arel, how about that?”
Peggy smiled weakly. “Thank you for everything, Kevin. You’ve really been a great brother, trying to help me and all.”
Carol stared at the road, but when the traffic light turned green, she sighed reluctantly. “Peggy’s right, Kevin. You did try to help out with a tough situation.”
“Thanks,” Kevin grunted back.
Peggy sighed too. It was clear that her brother and Carol were still a long ways from being comfortable with each other. For once, considering her current track record for making things worse, she held her tongue, but the situation was another reason for feeling sad about the events she’d set in motion.
Forty-Nine
AFTER SHOWING THEIR visitors out, Michael returned to the garden and found Arel staring at the twilight sky. “Are you alright?”
“Yes, how about Peggy?” Arel asked.
Michael pulled up a chair and sat down. “She’s still somewhat upset, but everyone was relieved to see you again.”
“I know who they are.” Arel’s voice went quiet, and his eyes had light seeping in again. “They were my family and friends in another life.”
“They’re still your friends.”
“Yes, perhaps. But I think that whatever we once shared was very grim. I think that’s why Peggy frightened me when we met.”
“Don’t dwell on any of that. It’s the present that’s important.”
Michael knew that Arel’s condition was extremely fragile. Arel needed friends. He needed to have contact with other people, but he wasn’t strong enough to tap into past events that were indeed grim.
Arel frowned. “But you wanted me to meet them. Now I have. Shouldn’t I search for our deeper connection?”
“There’s time for all of that later. They came here because they want to know the person that you are now.”
“They wanted to visit a wreck? Did you see their faces, how they stared at me?”
“They looked very concerned.”
Arel let out a huff of mirthful protest. “Peggy and the others saw what happens to a human being who thinks he can handle angel blood.” He glanced at Michael. “As they say, ‘Pride goeth before the fall.’”
“I’m sorry that it’s been so hard for you.”
“It’s weird, you would think I could relate to your kind since I have your blood. But seeing Carol and the others, I realize that I’m still very much connected to the human side of life.”
Michael studied Arel’s eyes. When they caught the light from the setting sun, they were dark, golden orbs staring out with desire. He could also feel Arel’s loneliness, his need for affection from other humans.
“There wasn’t always such a great distance between the world of man and angels.”
“What happened?”
“People began to think that they were alone. Eventually, they couldn’t see us anymore. We became the stuff of stories, nothing more. People became units of isolation and fear. Our realm never went that route. We continued to know and feel the connection to everything and everyone.”
“If that’s the definition of humanity, I fit right in. But I am experiencing more of the ‘everything’ part. In the hospital, I knew all about Mrs. Hayes. Out of the blue, her life was there in front of me. And just now, I remembered a part of a past life of my own.”
“Our realms are coming together.”
Arel flashed a hopeful glance in Michael’s direction. “Am I becoming an angel too?”
“No, not exactly.”
“Then what?”
Michael’s gaze faltered for an instant, but he remained silent.
“You don’t know, do you?”
“No.”
“Then I am a science project.”
“I wouldn’t put it that way.”
“Maybe you would if you were me, if you had to hide in the dark, never knowing what hell was coming at you next.”
Michael could feel Arel’s somewhat optimistic disposition giving way to a heavier mood. “Do you want to know something? If I were you, who knows? I might not be as strong as you are.”
“Really?”
“When we were in the alley, and you wanted my blood, I had my doubts about it all, remember?”
“Yes, and I’m sure you’ve regretted your decision ever since.”
“No, that’s not what I’m trying to say. I understood that even someone like you, who is as courageous as any that I’ve known, was going to be up against a tremendous battle. I’m sure it’s been extremely difficult. You’ve felt so cut off and powerless as all the harsh facets of life and draining emotional storms pounded you.”
Arel smiled sheepishly. “So I haven’t just been a baby about it all?”
“No, indeed, I didn’t want you to have to go through this, my dear friend. And yet, I knew that you wanted to be free again.”
Michael’s words seemed to make Arel’s good humor go up another notch. He actually grinned. “You know something, I feel like the worst is behind me. I feel like I’m on a new page. A few hours ago, I was so scared of meeting Peggy and the others again. Now I see how ridiculous I was. Maybe I’m doing better than I realized.”
“I’m very happy to hear that.”
Arel sat up straighter. “It’s time to start living again. I can be like you. I can embrace life like you said.” He swung his feet over the side of the chair.
Michael held up a hand. “Yes, but maybe you need to do it gradually. Your body’s compromised at the moment. You’ll have to be careful for a while.”
Arel waved him off. “This isn’t the first time that I’ve abused myself. I may not be all vampire anymore, but I’m better than that. I’ve got your angel blood flowing through my veins. Why should I be careful?”
Michael moved uneasily into
a more upright position and sighed. “I didn’t know that this would happen. I’m sorry.”
Arel gave him a playful frown. “What now? I’m sitting here feeling like things are finally making sense. I want to enjoy life. I want to enjoy this place.” He gestured at the garden. As the sun was setting, everything was bathed in a sparkling, golden glow. “You know, I’ve never appreciated what you’ve done. This piece of ground was nothing but weedy grass when I moved here. But now, I’m practically sitting in paradise, and you’re telling me that you’re sorry. Sorry for what?” He let his voice drop into a conciliatory tone. “I’m the one who’s sorry that I’ve been so difficult these past months. Do you forgive me, Michael?”
“There’s nothing to forgive. You’ve done your best. That’s all that’s expected.”
“Good,” Arel said as he grasped the arms of the lounger. “Now give me a little tour of your handiwork. It’s time to start smelling the roses as the saying goes.”
Arel started to push himself up, but he only got halfway there. Clutching his chest, he froze. “Dammit—” His protest was cut short as he teetered back and forth.
Michael moved quickly to Arel’s side, took his arm and helped him to sit back down as he started gasping.
“Don’t try to move.”
“Do I have a choice?” Arel croaked out.
“I think you’ll be better in a bit.”
After a few minutes, Arel began to breathe easier. His hand was still gripping Michael’s, but his eyes became hard and questioning. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“Your body’s changed.”
“Changed? My chest feels like an elephant is sitting on it.” His ashen face contorted with confusion as he let go of Michael. “Your blood should have an opposite effect. The sun can’t hurt me. I haven’t had any desire to eat. I think I’m moving up to super-being status, don’t you?”
Michael pulled his lawn chair closer to Arel. “You’ve been very . . . unhappy lately. You’ve punished your body unmercifully. Now, there’s concern that this ‘exchange’ might not succeed.”
Arel’s brows went from surprise to a narrow glare of understanding. “Let’s not sugar coat it. You’re saying that I’m dying, correct? After all the crap I’ve been through? I’ve hated myself forever. Now I get a chance to find some real happiness with old friends, and you tell me the ‘exchange’ has an unexpected glitch?”
“Getting upset is exactly what you don’t want to do. If you can learn to relax and enjoy what you’ve been given, I think we can get your condition turned around.”
“You’re using the ‘we’ word again, and the truth is that I’m the one who’s clearly got a problem.” Arel raised his voice as he tried to sit up again, but he was rendered immobile a second time.
Michael watched helplessly as another bout of acute pain seized Arel’s heart. When the pain eased again, Arel’s eyes were suddenly innocent, pleading, and also clearly tuned into his body.
Arel gasped out a few words. “Oh hell, I’m a goner.”
Fifty
ABRIGAIL SAT ON Arel’s king size bed, leaned back on pillows that were stacked against the beautifully carved, ornate headboard. Arel had his head on a small, soft cushion in her lap. When he looked up at her, his golden eyes were admiring as she gently stroked his brow.
“Do you know why you’re the most perfect angel?” he asked.
She smiled. “Why is that?”
“You’re perfect because you’re quiet and nurturing. You take care of people in the most loving ways without ever asking anything of them. Whereas other angels that I know come barging into one’s life with all these plans about how they’re going to change your life. Of course they forget to tell the person that there’s a possible penalty attached, nothing much, just that they might end up dead.”
As Arel spoke, his innocent gaze, like that of a fawn in the forest, moved sideways to target Michael. The angel sat in a chair close by. It was enough to make Michael glance up only briefly before he went back to his book.
Arel sighed heavily. “Now I’m on the edge of a cliff. It’ll only take a little nudge, and I’ll go over. And that will be the end of me. Goodbye, no more science project,” he said as he glanced over at Michael again. “The guinea pig will be gone forever.”
Michael sighed too as he stood up. “Excuse me. I have some chores in the garden. I’ll be back in a little while.”
“Michael?” Arel held out his hand, his eyes suddenly sad and pitiful. “You won’t be gone too long, will you? It’s comforting to have you close.”
Michael paused. “If you want, I can have Abrigail take care of the garden duties.”
Arel pulled his hand back as he let his gaze drift up to Abrigail’s face. “No, that’s alright. The garden needs you too. Go ahead. I’ll be fine, I guess.”
* * * * *
Later, Abrigail came out of the house and glanced around the garden, looking for Michael. He was in the far corner, changing the water in the birdbath. Studying his face, she saw the hard set of his brow as he busied himself.
“I thought I’d get some air,” she said as she waved to him and continued on down the path to a stone bench. It was located in the rose section. She inhaled deeply as she sat down. “The air is so fresh and fragrant. Your roses are absolutely magnificent.”
“Thank you,” Michael replied as he finished his task and started retrieving the hose. “How’s our boy?”
“He finally fell asleep.”
Michael’s frown deepened. “I hope he rests for more than five minutes. His mind is still very busy.”
“Yes, and he’s enjoying playing the victim. After you left, he asked if I’d read to him. He wants to hear ‘War and Peace.’ He said that it would help him to forget his own problems, but he kept looking up at me with those sweet, defenseless eyes. I must confess I couldn’t help but give in to him. He’s terribly charming you know.”
Michael smiled. “At least he wants company now.”
“Oh yes, what did he tell me? If he only has a few days left, he wants to enjoy as much happiness as possible. But there’s something that I don’t understand. Why does he always seem more content when he talks about dying? Did you notice that his energy soars when he tells us how little time he has left?”
“Yes, I noticed.”
“He said that God owes him.”
“What?”
“I think his exact words were ‘This is one hell of a screw-up. God owes me big time.’”
Michael paused. “It is quite a problem.”
“Well, you and I both know that people, like sheep, can sometimes stray very far afield. They can find themselves battling alone, drifting further and further from safety. But thankfully for Arel, you’ve always been a perfect shepherd.”
“Tell that to Arel.”
“You let him get away with a lot, Michael. Is his self-pity a good thing?”
“It’s a distraction. It’s giving his body a respite from his emotional turmoil. He’s shelved the memories for now, and his guilt has definitely been pushed to the side.”
“Yes, that’s true.” She got up to inspect a large, white rose a few feet away. “But you indulge him, my friend. You know that you do.”
“He has to blame someone, and I don’t want him turning his energies back on himself.”
“He is looking better. Soon, he’ll be strong enough for visitors.”
Michael dusted off his hands. “Carol and the others will rally round him. I’m sure of that.”
Abrigail gave him an anxious look. “Oh heavens, I hope he’s not too hard on them. He keeps us both busy with his demands. Those poor souls might be in for quite a difficult time.”
Michael’s face took on a wilted look, like one of his roses that wasn’t getting enough water. “He is going through a very self-indulgent phase, but perhaps they’ll bring out his best.”
Abrigail sighed, hoping that Michael was right. A noise pulled her attention back to the house. Arel was standing
at the door, leaned against its surface. He was tapping on the glass with his dark hair mussed and eyes wide and beseeching. His voice was muted as he cried out to her.
“Abrigail, I was calling for you, but you didn’t answer. I can’t sleep.”
Abrigail stood up quickly and glanced at Michael. “Oh my, he managed to climb the stairs.”
Arel tapped the glass again. “Are you coming back in soon?”
“I’ll be right there, dearest,” Abrigail called back. As she moved towards the house, she gave Michael a parting look. It expressed her doubts about Arel’s future interaction with his friends. “They’ll bring out his best, or perhaps he’ll test their loyalty. Either way, I think he’ll enjoy himself.”
Fifty-One
TIM EXITED THE expressway, knowing that if it were up to him, they wouldn’t be going to visit Arel. Still, Peggy’s happiness was what counted. Giving her a sideways glance, he noted her dark eyes actively focused on the road as if she were ticking off the miles to her objective. She was on a mission of mercy, and his job was to support her, but he was worried about what it would do to her if she failed.
I hope that you’re not kidding yourself, Peg. With the shape this guy’s in, I think you’ll need a miracle to get him back on track.
“We’re probably going to be late,” Peggy said, cutting into Tim’s thoughts with her curt tone. But when she looked over at him, her eyes were anxious.
He gave her a reassuring smile. “I think we’ll be fine.”
“That call from Michael sounded nice, but his tone was serious,” Kevin commented from the back seat.
Carol sat across from Kevin. “The important thing is that Arel wants to see us. He even insisted on us visiting.”
“I hope he doesn’t fall over and die on us,” Kevin grumbled. “That would be a mess.”
Peggy gasped. “Kevin Bailey, don’t you dare talk like that!”
Tim’s eyes shifted to the rear view mirror. He shot Kevin an ‘Are you crazy?’ look.
You’re a great guy, old buddy, but you do have a way of saying the exact wrong thing.
