by S S Bazinet
Kevin’s face reddened. “Sorry, Peggy, I’m sure that Arel will be fine.”
Peggy ignored his apology. “I want to know more about what’s going on. I’ll have to take Michael aside and ask him about Arel’s condition.”
“You better prepare yourself just in case,” Kevin insisted.
Tim saw Peggy bite her lip and grab for her tissue. He reached out with his free hand and gave hers a squeeze. “I don’t think we should think in those terms for now.” He gave Kevin another glaring frown. “Let’s simply pay Arel a visit and see what happens.”
Kevin seemed to get the point and turned his face to the window, crossing his arms.
Tim understood the look on Kevin’s face. Peggy’s brother really did want to spare Peggy too, just like Tim. Unfortunately, he didn’t know how to express his feelings in a way that had an ounce of diplomacy, not with Peggy. Theirs had always been a challenging relationship.
“Could you put on some tunes, Tim?” Carol asked. Her face was strained too. “I don’t think I can stand hearing any more about what might happen to Arel.”
Peggy grabbed for the radio dial before Tim had a chance to respond. “Good idea,” she said with a forced smile. “I found a great eighties station the other day.”
John Lennon’s voice, singing Stand by Me, filled the car’s small interior. Its occupants were all immediately caught up in the lyrics.
When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we see
No I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraid
After thirty seconds, both Carol and Peggy were crying softly.
Kevin grimaced with emotion as he averted his eyes. “For crap’s sake, Peg, turn it off!”
Tim was surprised when the song affected him too. They brought up feelings he wasn’t prepared for and didn’t want to address. The dark, foreboding lyrics stirred something that felt dreamlike with a nightmare overlay. As the miles slipped by and the group got closer to their destination, he had one of his rare hunches.
We’re in way over our heads.
He was sure of it.
* * * * *
When Michael opened the door to welcome in the group, their energy hit him like a somber, funeral dirge. Arel was doing better, but he needed optimism, not more misery. Instead of letting the unhappy group in, he closed the door behind him and quickly joined them outside.
“Is everyone alright?” he asked.
Peggy spoke up immediately. “We need to talk.”
“What can I do for you?”
“What’s wrong with Arel? And don’t beat around the bush. Give us the facts.” Peggy’s voice was adamant, but her eyes were on the verge of tears.
“Peggy’s right,” Carol said. “Anyone can tell he’s in bad shape.”
Michael looked at Kevin and Tim, who stood behind the women like two hulking guardians, but their faces couldn’t hide their own fears.
“Out with it, Mike,” Kevin said with impatience.
Michael moved closer to them, gesturing to gather round. “Arel has a heart condition, a pretty serious one. But with all of you cheering him up, I think that he’ll feel better.”
“Oh heavens,” Peggy lamented. “He’s got a bad heart, and I’m dragging him down to the hospital.”
“No, don’t feel bad,” Michael soothed. “He needed to get out a bit. Staying home all the time depresses him.”
“Take it easy, Peg,” Kevin chimed in. “If the worst happened, a hospital is the perfect place for a heart attack.”
Peggy gave him an ‘I hate you look’ that was cut short by Carol’s teary confession.
“I made him come to a diner!” she cried.
“You couldn’t know,” Michael said quickly. “And if you hadn’t asked him to come, he would have never become acquainted with all of you.”
Kevin gave Tim a thoughtful look and a nudge. “He really went downhill after that second trip to the hospital, didn’t he? I feel bad about making him come back.”
Watching the group pull out all the guilt stops, Michael felt like he was juggling four Arel-type dolls. They were all emotionally charged with self-inflicted pain, and they were dropping out of his hands, left and right. “Please, everybody, can I have your attention?” he asked. “Arel is waiting for you, so please leave all your anxious feelings out here. Come in and have a nice dinner.”
The words were barely out of his mouth when Carol’s face brightened.
“Arel!” she cried out.
Michael turned back towards the door. It was being held open by the original Arel doll. Staring out at the group, he looked like he’d been dropped too, but he had a gracious expression on his face. Arel’s appearance meant that he was actually being sociable.
“What’s everybody doing out here?” he asked, playing the happy invalid with a smile that Michael didn’t recognize. “Come on in.”
Smiling back, the group went into formation. Like dutiful school children, they ignored Michael as they filed past him into the house.
Michael brought up the rear. If angels had nerves, he knew his would definitely be getting threadbare. Arel by himself was a challenge. It would be interesting to see what four more, similarly wired individuals would add to the mix.
Fifty-Two
SEEING THE AMICABLE group again felt almost dreamlike to Arel. He had never formed a bond with anyone except William. Now four people filed past him, all giving him the most generous smiles and well wishes, as if he were their long lost comrade. Could it be that easy to have people around him that cared? It was an exhilarating thought that was allowed now that he had so little time left.
“Go into the living room, please,” he said as he gestured for them to precede him.
I hope to God that I look better than the last time.
Fresh and sharp in a Forzieri, button-down shirt accented by gold and blue enameled Faberge cufflinks, he certainly felt better about himself. He was definitely more carefully groomed. He still had facial hair, but it had been trimmed back to a small goatee and mustache.
What the hell, don’t worry too much. You’re only going to see them a couple of times before you leave the world.
Still, he wanted to seem worthy of their affection and tried to stroll into the room, but his stroll was more of a shuffle that old people did when they were exhausted. Luckily Michael went ahead and began to seat everyone.
“You look very handsome,” Carol remarked as she hesitated, waiting for him to catch up.
He smiled at her, taking in her beauty from a friend’s point of view. “Thank you. Now please sit down there on the loveseat next to Kevin.” He needed to make sure that she knew that it was alright with him if she’d patched things up with the tall, imposing, young man.
Carol’s frown made it obvious that she hadn’t done anything of the sort.
Kevin confirmed it. “I better take the chair over here.”
Arel could only stare at the two young people mutely. Their clearly hostile relationship struck him as very sad. Since he’d become a candidate for the grim reaper, his jealousies had vanished. He wanted to see a smile on Carol’s face when she looked at Kevin. He didn’t want her to be alone anymore. He knew how hard that was. He paused by a chair, leaning a hand on it as he felt a bout of weakness coming on. It was accompanied by a face lined with disappointment as he thought about Carol spending her days raising cats and playing solitaire.
Carol noted his reaction with obvious concern. “But it’s fine if Kevin wants to sit next to me,” she said with a flourish of forced enthusiasm.
Kevin’s face sunk into confusion, and he glanced at Peggy for directions. His sister frowned back and did a quick nod towards the seat that Arel had offered. Kevin moved towards it with gritted teeth. “Right, I’d love to sit next to such a lovely gal.”
Tim, seated on the sofa next to Peggy, seemed to understand that a diversion was needed, and fast. “Something smells good,” he said in a robust voic
e.
Arel did find Tim’s comment satisfying, and his spirits began to lift again as he made his way to one of the recliners. He’d been very preoccupied with making the visit a successful one. “I kind of exaggerated when I said Michael is a great cook. He’s actually still learning his way around the kitchen. I am too. Thankfully the internet is great for finding recipes. We’re having a simple meal, crab cakes, fish, baked potatoes, and a salad.”
Michael cleared his throat and laughed. “I barely boil water. Arel made the dinner, and I helped.”
Arel gave Michael a glaring censure, and then he looked at Carol. “I guess I’m still not totally reformed, with lying that is. I also have another confession. I’m on a very different diet, and I don’t eat what I cook. So please don’t feel awkward when you sit down to your meal and I abstain.”
“We didn’t want you to overdo it,” Carol replied. “And please, your fibs were always good intentioned ones. So let’s not hear any more about that.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be taking it easy?” Kevin asked.
“Yes, Arel, you have to promise to rest from now on,” Peggy said forcefully.
Arel smiled contentedly at their combined concern. “Dinner was hardly any work at all. It’s good for me.” In fact, Michael had been the perfect assistant, following Arel’s many directions for all the items prepared. “Come on, everyone, I wanted to get together so that we could have some fun.”
When the group failed to rally, Arel glanced over at Michael again. “But I can see that Michael has been spreading rumors about my health, hasn’t he?”
The group started shaking their heads and denying it, but Tim cleared his throat and spoke up in a more forceful tone. “We just want to make sure that you’re okay, simple as that.”
Arel paused, noting a dramatic shift between his last meeting with the group in the garden and the present gathering. It was a little like knowing things about Mrs. Hayes. In the case of the group, he didn’t have all the details of their lives. Instead, he sensed the qualities that each of his guests embodied on a very pure level. Tim was the man who could be trusted to say and do whatever, with a forthright honesty. Next to him, Peggy was the pixie princess. She was the face of driving concern and commitment. Across from them, Carol and Kevin were like the two innocents. No matter what their ages, there was something young and still forming about both of them. And like children, their hearts were open and giving.
Together, the group formed a body of support that was there for him if he wanted it. Did he dare to let them into his life? He took a couple of deep breaths, as if he were contemplating a high dive, a plunge into waters that could be deadly or warm and inviting.
But what if I’m just making another mistake?
Before he had a chance to answer himself, he was speaking aloud. “If you still want me, I’d like to be part of this family.”
Peggy responded at once. “That’s wonderful news.”
Her voice was filled with happiness, but beneath her sentiments, Arel felt her sense of apprehension, as if she were adopting a crippled child who wasn’t long for the world. Kevin’s internal response was even louder – Hope he doesn’t die on us now that we’ve taken him in. Carol’s eyes conveyed her message, ‘My poor Arel, I feel so helpless. What can I do to make it better for you?’ Only Tim’s thoughts were shielded and unreadable.
* * * * *
Nobody felt sorry for Arel by the end of the evening. At his suggestion, they all joined in a game of poker after dinner. For Carol, it was a totally new experience, but expertise didn’t seem to make a difference. By the time the last hand was played, almost all of the chips were in Arel’s pile.
“Where did you learn to play cards like that?” Tim asked as he fingered his two lone chips. “We need to take you to Vegas.”
Arel’s eyes sparked with a playfulness that had been hidden away for a long time. “Sorry, but I have to have a few secrets.”
He was in his element, and he knew it. Many a night, when he and William were university students, he’d played until the sunrise, often taking the final pot as his opponents sulked away. But playing poker was never about the money. It was about proficiency and natural talent. Cheating had never interested him. And on this night, he had taken great care not to access private information from his fellow players. He didn’t have to.
Kevin threw his remaining chip into Arel’s pile. “You finished us off good, you scoundrel.”
“I’ll be happy to give you a few tips,” Arel offered.
Kevin stretched his long arms upwards and did a couple of neck rolls. “I might have to take you up on that.”
Carol gazed at Arel with pride, as if he was still the gem that she’d found and now shared with the others.
Peggy seemed happy too. Halfway through the game, as Arel hauled in another stack of chips, her distress had melted away. “After this, I think I’m going to do less worrying about you and more about my poor Tim’s wallet.”
Tim pushed back from the table and stood up. “On that cheerful note, I think it’s time to call it quits.”
As the group prepared to leave, Arel remained seated.
“I’m going to let Michael see you out,” he announced. “We’ll get together again soon.”
Michael heard his cue and got up from a chair in the next room where he’d been reading. He’d passed on the poker game. Now, looking at the group, he seemed pleased with his choice.
“Good night, sweetie,” Carol said giving Arel a light kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for a wonderful dinner. Everything was delicious.”
Arel had heard the same thing a number of times earlier, but he felt warm inside each time the praise was repeated.
Peggy leaned over and gave him a gentle hug. “Have sweet dreams. Maybe one of these days we can talk,” she whispered.
Her words reminded him of what they shared. For a moment, a memory tried to surface, but he pushed it back at once. What good would it do now that he was going to die?
As Peggy started to pull away, he held on to her for a moment, “Start giving yourself a break, that’s an order.”
“Yes, sir,” she said obediently as he let go of her. “And promise that you’ll do the same.”
He nodded in agreement and was glad to see her smiling as she started out of the room. His chest swelled with a bit of pride. His first dinner party had been a success.
When Michael returned from seeing their guests on their way, Arel realized he’d had another first. “I actually had a wonderful evening with friends.”
Michael smiled back. “Yes, I can see that.”
“It has me thinking. I’ve decided that I don’t want to sleep downstairs tonight. I’m going to use one of the bedrooms up here.”
“Why don’t you take the master?” Michael suggested. “I use the middle bedroom anyway.”
“Good idea. I’ll be able to see your gardens from the window.”
Michael’s smile broadened. “By the way, I wanted to say that you were a perfect host tonight. Everyone left here in much better spirits then when they arrived.”
“Thank goodness. Being privy to their thoughts was a little dismaying, but I think I changed their minds about me.”
As he recalled pleasantries from the visit, he started to get up. “Oh, hell, not again—” For the first time in a couple of days, his heart grabbed, throwing him back into his chair with a sharp pain. When the pain eased, he gave Michael an imploring look, remembering the angel’s earlier warning about taking it very slow. “And do me a favor, don’t tell me that you told me so.”
“I wouldn’t dare,” Michael said in the same dutiful tone that Peggy had used.
Fifty-Three
STANDING IN THEIR bedroom, Peggy watched Tim as he threw his car keys on the dresser and headed over to the closet to get undressed. “Did you have a good time tonight?” she asked, sitting down on the side of the bed. “I know you weren’t crazy about the idea of seeing Arel again.”
“It
was nice.”
“But?”
With his hand on the closet door, Tim paused. “No, I mean it. The dinner was great, and Arel can be kind of fun for a card shark.”
Peggy held her hand out and gestured him over. “Yes, but I can tell that something is bothering you.”
Tim walked to the bed and sat down next to her. “I don’t know, Peg, there’s something about him that gets to me. He’s different.”
“Arel just needs people that care.”
Tim took her hand in his. “Maybe you’re right. But he’s not my first priority, you are. I don’t want you to get really upset over him again. I’ve been worried about you. So has Kevin.”
“Tonight really helped. I feel a little better after seeing him smile. He seemed almost smug after the poker game.”
“Hey, if you feel better because he took me to the cleaners, that’s fine with me. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy again.”
“I’m sorry if I’ve made it hard for you and Kevin.” She paused. “Of course, now I feel bad about Carol and Kevin. It’s my fault that they’re not together anymore. They were doing so great before I had the accident.”
“Kevin got himself into this. You have to let him be responsible.” Tim leaned in and kissed her cheek, then her neck.
She snuggled back, leaning against him. “I guess you’re right. But you never do that sort of stupid stuff. How did I get so lucky to get you?”
Tim put his arms around her and held her tight. “Are you kidding? I got the prettiest girl in the world.”
Breathing in Tim’s cologne and enjoying his embrace, Peggy shut her eyes and sighed. “Do you realize what a horrible crush I had on you when we were kids?”
“No, I guess not.”
“You were my prince charming, so handsome and solid.”
“But it was Kevin that did most of the fighting for you. I was there more as a referee when you two went at each other.”
“But aren’t you proud of me? I think I won most of those fights with the bullies by just standing up to them.”
“Yes, I remember being quite impressed with how you, this scrawny, loud mouthed little kid, could take charge.”
