Tempt Me: A First Class Romance Collection

by Jessica Hawkins

  I lunge forward but an arm flings out to hold me off. “Sutton, stop. You’ll be no good to Grady behind bars.”

  The warm voice cuts through the bleak darkness. I glance over at my friend. “I can’t do this without him.”

  Lacie tucks a few locks of hair behind my ear. “You have to. There’s no choice. He needs you, Sutt. Be strong and rise up for the good.”

  That snuffs out the fight roaring in my veins. I sag against my friend. “You’re right. I need to start planning ahead.”

  She gives me a small grin. “Yes, exactly. That’s what he would do.”

  I cast a quick glance at the activity buzzing along the street. A twitch curls my upper lip. “Let’s get out of here. Can I catch a ride with you? I need to get thinking smart and strategize.”

  “Wanna sleep at my place?”

  “I need to go home.”

  Lacie begins leading me toward the parking lot. “To your parents’ house?”

  “No, my house with Grady.” Except he won’t be there. The bed will be cold. I can’t even picture where he’s resting his head tonight. Pressure threatens to burst my blood vessels. And the tears don’t quit.

  The list of things to do begins piling up in my mind. I should call my brother. Probably my parents while I’m at it. But that can wait another moment. For now, I need Grady. I need a hug. I need woodsy pine and campfire and spicy cologne to soothe me. I need the comfort from a very specific pair of bulky arms wrapping around me. Too bad he’s far out of reach until Lord only knows when. The bite of defeat is already nipping at my heels. They might win this round, but the war is just beginning.

  I hang my head and continue trekking forward. “Please just take me home.”

  28

  Grady

  Happy something #79: A single wildflower blooming in a graveyard of stone.

  The stilted clip of boots on concrete is a solo soundtrack for this edition of hell. Hours of the guards prowling back and forth play on repeat. I try to block out the droning noise, but there’s nothing else beyond cement and manipulation. Not even the drip of a leaky faucet can be heard. This is one more way of slowly steering us toward the breaking point.

  I always figured the documentaries were full of shit. This dose of reality is already proving just how wrong I was. They toy with us on purpose. Anything to strip away dignity and humanity. I’m already feeling the spiraling effects, their influence messing with my mind. The footsteps move closer and stop just outside my cell. A knife twists in my gut. Over this past week, I’ve learned these visits are never pleasant.

  With a low buzz, the door to my cage opens and a guard appears. “Bowen.”

  I raise my head off the moldy pillow to get a better view. He stands in the threshold with his arms folded. I don’t recognize this guy. His face is almost kind, which is some sort of trick. There are no niceties to be found within these four walls. Any semblance of good is a disguise. I’m bound to get the hidden pieces beaten out of me.

  My mouth remains sealed. I refuse to give them any ammunition against me.

  He rolls his eyes. “Someone’s here to speak with your stubborn ass. Maybe you’ll actually talk to her.”

  Her.

  The suggestion is enough to get me moving. I heave myself off the lumpy mattress. I’ve been trapped in this box for seven long days. Any excuse to leave, even for a moment, is a blessing I won’t refuse. The possibility of seeing Sutton would almost be too good.

  He cuffs my wrists in front of me and motions to the left. “After you, inmate.”

  The guard escorts me down a dank hallway that reeks of mildew. The visitation room is straight ahead, a beacon of light in the sea of darkness. Will she be in there? I propel forward at a fast stride. The guard snorts while hustling to catch up. When he unlocks the door, I’m graced by the vision of my single best happy something.

  Just the sight of Sutton has my blood pumping hotter. She’s a splash of vibrant color against the dingy gray walls. Having her separated from me by plexiglass should be a crime. But she doesn’t belong here at all. This type of ugly is far worse than anything we came across at the trailer park.

  Her smile could flip the blackest of moods. I nearly trip in my haste to reach the sectioned off portion. The plastic chair creaks with my weight. When I pick up the phone, a tremor rattles the receiver.

  “Gray.” Her small palm rests on the bulletproof barrier. I lift my hand and align our fingers together.

  “Damn, you’re a fine sight.”

  “I miss you so much.” Her bottom lip wobbles when she bites the corner. Tears already shine in her eyes.

  I almost close mine to absorb her whimsical voice. Pretending we’re secluded in our meadow is far more appealing. But I don’t risk removing my gaze from her. “Don’t cry, baby.”

  Sutton sniffs. “How can I not? You’re stuck in here.”

  I want to comfort her, spout off half-truths that will provide a false sense of hope. Hell, I need to believe in something to survive this torture. This entire situation has been a cruel awakening. Having her near is already clearing the toxins being forced into me. She purges the venom of their lethal bite.

  With a deep inhale, I dream of strawberries and freedom. What I wouldn’t give to devour her fresh scent. All I get is stale smoke and foul sweat and crumbling sanity. My stomach lurches and I gag.

  She leans forward. “Are you sick? What’s wrong?”

  Everything, I want to admit. What I really say is, “Just doing my best.”

  “I can’t even fathom what you’re dealing with. I’m so sorry.”

  I jerk backward in my seat. “What’re you apologizing for?”

  Her breathing is choppy. “They wouldn’t let me see you until now. I tried, Gray. They forced me to wait until you were cleared for visitors. Whatever that means.”

  I smirk at her. “I had to earn this with good behavior. They hold everything against us.”

  “That sounds terrible.”

  I don’t want to lie to her. “It’s an adjustment. They study us. New inmates are under observation. Gotta make sure I’m not a danger or liable to go off the rails. Guess this means I’m good to go.”

  “Are you suffering?” Her voice cracks and more rivulets drift down those smooth cheeks. I curl my fingers, wanting nothing more than to feel the heat of her skin beneath me.

  “I’ll adapt to this latest version of torment. Don’t worry about me, Sutt.”

  She huffs into the phone. “That’s impossible, especially when they’re keeping us apart. Hopefully we’re past all those hurdles. I was the squeakiest damn wheel. Pretty sure their front desk phone didn’t stop ringing until they granted me permission. I’d camp out in the parking lot if that did us any good.”

  I crack a grin at her tenacity. “You’re too much, beautiful. They’re gonna kick you out.”

  Her gasp pierces my eardrum. “I dare them to try.”

  “So feisty,” I growl.

  Sutton gives me a long once-over. “I want to kiss you.”

  “I want a lot more than that.”

  “Is it weird that I find you ridiculously attractive right now? You’re so hot, Gray.”

  I rub over my newly acquired beard. “You like the convict vibe? I wasn’t sure if orange is my color.”

  Her forehead bunches, the flirty undertone between us vanishing in a snap. “Stop it.”

  “I’m being real, Sutt. This is my new normal.”

  “I refuse to accept that. Did you talk to a lawyer? My parents said they hired the best one for you. They wanted to come with me, but you were only approved for one visitor.”

  I drag a hand through my shaggy hair. “Yeah, he met with me after initial intake. He’ll be back next week.”

  “Have you heard about a court date?”

  “The attorney says it’s best to drag out this limbo period for the maximum allotted time. That way we build the strongest case for a plea deal. Thanks to Lance and his persuasion, there’s no chance for bail.
I could be a hazard to society.” I hitch a thumb over my shoulder. “I’m trapped in the holding pen until trial.”

  “They don’t care about your side of the story?”

  I offer a shrug. “It’s his word against mine. Who are they gonna believe?”

  “How is that justice?”

  “Flawed system, Sutt.”

  She flicks her gaze to the stained ceiling. “What happens to you after the official judge’s hearing?”

  “I’ll stay in county jail until getting hauled off to state prison.” I clench my jaw at those daunting options.

  She flinches. “They can’t send you there.”

  “They probably will, Sutt. That’s a reality we need to discuss. I don’t expect you to wait around—”

  “You better stop that train of thought right now, Grady Bowen. We’re going to fight this. You’ll be free to go in a few days. You’re getting out of here. We’re getting you out, Gray,” she repeats.

  She shouldn’t bother trying. None of them should. Why waste money and effort on me? But I know Sutton won’t quit. Deep down in the pit of my sour gut I can admit I don’t want her to. That doesn’t mean I’m going to let her be shackled to me.

  I breathe deep and get another punch of rotten odor. “What the fuck do you think I can offer after this? I have no damn free will. There’s less than a thousand dollars in my bank account. I live in a money pit. What the hell kind of life will I lead for us, huh? A dead end, Sutt. I’m giving you an out. Be smart and take it.”

  “No.”

  “Wasn’t a choice, baby.”

  “I’m not asking for one. There’s never been one. I’ve never needed one. I certainly don’t want one now.”

  “You need to be the one to walk away. I’m not strong enough, Sutt.”

  Her baby blues flash, all traces of sorrow gone. My girl is digging her heels in. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  I let my shoulders drop with a mixture of relief and shame. “All right, beautiful. Hang on for a long haul.”

  “I plan on it.”

  We exchange a silent stare for a moment. I can feel my reprieve with her running out. “Tell me a happy something, Sutt.”

  Her lashes flutter and she sucks in a quick breath. “That’s kind of difficult at the moment.”

  “Please try for me,” I murmur into the phone.

  She swipes at a fat tear trailing down her cheek. “There was a meteor shower last night. I wished upon a shooting star.”

  Warmth spreads through my veins. “I bet it was a good one. Tell me another.”

  Sutton wrinkles her nose. “Bear has been very attached to me. I let him sleep on your side of the bed. But he drools.”

  A dry chuckle grates from me. “Lucky bastard. One more,” I urge.

  “I wrote you a letter. They wouldn’t let me give it to you directly. Make sure a guard passes it along. There’s plenty of happy in there.” A flush rushes up her slender neck.

  The prospect of her scrawled words gives me a little light in this black hole. “I will, baby.”

  “Not a moment goes by that I don’t think of you. I’ll love you forever plus infinity.” She makes a sideways figure-eight with her fingers.

  I trace the pattern through the air. “Even though I’m a convicted criminal?”

  Her finger jabs at the clear divider. “You’re not, Gray. This is all a huge mistake.”

  “What makes you so sure?”

  “Because I know what’s in your soul. Lance is a snake, but you wouldn’t hurt him. Not without a damn good reason, like attacking me. I was safely inside.”

  I scrub over my weary eyes. “Yeah, that’s a pretty big fucking issue.”

  She tucks the receiver tighter to her ear and lowers her voice. “Lance is accusing you of assault, Gray. Can you tell me what happened?”

  I shake my head. “Nah, not like this. It’s not safe. But make me a promise?”

  “Anything.”

  A murky shadow falls over me. “Stay away from Morris. He’s bad news. It drives me half-mad knowing he’s on the loose and I’m not around to protect you. Be safe and smart, okay?”

  “That goes without saying.”

  “I’m serious, Sutt. Don’t put yourself in harm’s way to defend my honor. Lance has zero limits. Don’t test them by being a vigilante.” I want to spill everything, but not in this public space. There are far too many prying ears who will put a bigger target on my back.

  Sutton twists her mouth into an adorable pout. “You know me too well. But I can’t just sit by and do nothing. You can’t expect me to, Gray.”

  I’m about to respond when a guard approaches from behind me. This guy is one I try to avoid by all means necessary. He makes it his mission to ensure we’re kept in line. His specialty is unethical punishments. “Time’s up, Bowen. Let’s go.”

  She yelps at his harsh tone. I glare up at him before stealing another slice of happy from her. “Love you, beautiful. Don’t worry about me. Everything is gonna be okay.”

  “I love you—”

  The guard clamps a meaty hand on my shirt and jerks me off the chair. The phone clatters out of my grip. “You’re done, inmate.”

  Sutton bangs on the glass and my heart cracks from the impact. When I swing my gaze to her, everything goes dark. Streams of fresh tears pour down her face. She’s on the verge of shouting at the man ripping me away.

  “Leave him alone. He’s innocent.”

  He laughs in my ear. “Quite the spitfire you’ve got there. I bet she’s a tiger in the sack. Maybe I’ll take her for a spin since you’re out of commission.”

  Everything inside of me roars at his crude filth. A bellow rips from my throat. I want to smash my elbow into his nose. Instead of getting another sentence tacked on, I focus on my girl. She’s sobbing and alone and I need to be better for her. I mouth the three little words she needs. Sutton returns my sentiment with a watery smile. She draws a line of X’s and O’s on the glass.

  “How fucking cute,” the guard spits. “Hold onto that image to get you off later.”

  I wrench out of his hold and continue stomping toward my dungeon.

  His laugh bounces off the chipping walls. “Better watch yourself, inmate. I can make your stay here far more painful.”

  There isn’t a single doubt in my mind that he’d follow through on his threat. That doesn’t mean I’m going to kiss his degrading ass. I pause in the doorway and hold out my bound wrists.

  “Maybe I should leave you cuffed. I have plenty of reason after that stunt. It’s a precautionary measure, right?”

  What I really want to do is demand Sutton’s letter. But this asshole will only use that weakness against me. I remain silent, narrowing my eyes into thin slits.

  The guard reflects my glare, adding a predatory snarl. “Maybe that lenient bitch Matthews has been too soft on you. Breaking you down will be fun, inmate. We’ll start tomorrow so rest up.” His rancid breath burns my nostril. “Get the fuck outta my sight.”

  He shoves me backwards into my cell and slams the door. The heavy steel slides shut with a whisper of dusty wind. There’s no resounding clang of metal. No satisfying bang. Technology takes the fun out of it, unlike the movies. Maybe that’s a win in my column. I certainly could use one.

  That quiet hum of the lock system initiating is a nail in my coffin. I’m trapped with my hands securely fastened in front of me. Looks like I’m shit out of luck once again.

  29

  Sutton

  Happy something #187: Having a shoulder to sob on uncontrollably.

  The porch swing tilts upward with a creak when Jace straightens his knee. We hover at an angle on the bench before he lifts his foot. Our bodies rock on the wooden seat from the forward motion. Forth and back in a repeated glide. This is reminiscent of our youth, but there’s no joy between us now. The usually comforting sway is flat and dull. Much like my mood.

  I’ve lost count of how many monotonous cycles we’ve completed. Other than the squeak
of rusting springs, our surroundings are quiet. Under different circumstances I could probably doze off. My parents’ farm has a somber lull from missing a vital member. Not even the endlessly rolling acres or stunning cloudless sky holds appeal.

  Another metallic grind interrupts the silence. Neither one of us seems to care about time ticking by without subsequent meaning. My mom and dad left for dinner an hour ago. They tried convincing us to join them. According to them, getting out of the house would be good for us. We had a different opinion. Jace and I pretended to be content eating cold turkey sandwiches. The truth is that we didn’t bother making any. We’re caught in a damn rut that only gets wider with no way out.

  The cling of humidity is still sticky in the air. I have my legs tucked underneath me to ward off an internal chill. That cloying heat doesn’t penetrate the frost that’s burrowing into my bones. I better get used to the cold.

  A shuddering sigh whisks from my lungs. I’m metaphorically teetering on the ledge of a steep cliff. One wrong move and I’ll go tumbling down. It’s impossible to focus on keeping myself stable. My mind is miles away in the county jail. There’s no forgetting that specific type of horror.

  I tried to force a brave face for Grady yesterday. On the inside I was crumbling faster than a tissue in the rain. He looked so defeated. The dark cavern in his green eyes made me shiver. I can’t let him rot in that disgusting place. Our lack of options are making me sicker by the day. My wheels are spinning to the point of failure.

  I can’t take the silence another moment. “What’re we gonna do, Ace?”

  My brother drags his foot on the deck to pause our endless loop. “I dunno, Sutt.”

  I’ve asked a similar version of this question an infinite amount over the last eight days. Jace always gives a nearly identical response. Just one more way we’re stuck. I press two fingers over my puffy eyes. “He’s already changing from being in that awful place. We have to help him.”