The Casual Rule

by AC Netzel

  “No, we’re going to his sister’s house for Christmas Day.”

  There’s a long uncomfortable pause. I know exactly what she’s thinking. “Julia, all I’m saying is be careful. It sounds to me like this relationship is getting serious for you. That’s great…as long as you both feel the same way. But if he wants to continue to keep this relationship casual, you need to know. It seems to me that your feelings for him are deeper than you care to admit.”

  “I know what I’m doing, Allie.”

  “Do you, Jules?”

  “Yes. I do. My friend had no place to go on Christmas Eve. I invited him. That’s all.”

  “The guy you’ve been sleeping with for two months. That friend? I think you need to take a long hard look at whatever this is between the two of you before it’s too late for you to turn back. You’re falling in love with him.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. I am not in love with Ben. I like him. We have fun. I’m not looking for love. You know that.”

  “You may not be looking, but from where I’m standing, I’d say it found you anyway. Be honest with yourself.”

  “I hear everything you’re saying.” I sigh. “Look Al, you’re seeing things that just aren’t there.”

  “You may hear me Jules, but are you listening?”

  “Yes, I’m listening. I appreciate your concern. I do, but you’re off the mark on this. I don’t want a romantic relationship.”

  “You drag yourself out in the freezing cold, something we both know you absolutely hate, to go to Brooklyn and watch him run a marathon. Do you think I didn’t figure out where you really went that day? You stay over at his apartment to take care of him after. Now he’s meeting your family?”

  “I am not falling for Ben. We fool around. We have a good time. We’re friends. There’s nothing more than that. You’ve had these types of relationships for as long as I can remember. How is this any different?”

  “I never invited my fuck buddy to meet the folks.”

  Ouch, that stings. Allie has never been one to mince words. “He had no plans. I was being nice.”

  “So you say,” she answers skeptically. “I suppose you bought him a Christmas gift too?”

  “Just a little something. I got a gift for our apartment Super too. Are you going to accuse me of falling in love with George as well?”

  “Comparing George to Ben is like comparing the Dollar Store to Saks Fifth Avenue. George is old, flabby and married. Ben is hot, single and having sex with you on a regular basis. I don’t think you’re screwing around with George. If you are, that’s a whole other conversation we need to have. You say one thing, but your actions say something entirely different.”

  “My actions are that of a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. I know you’re looking out for me, but you need to stop. I’m a big girl. Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think. You’re reading this completely wrong and I’m getting a little tired of this lecture. Ben and I have fun. That’s it. There’s no violin music and imaginary wedding plans in the back of my mind. We are two people who fool around from time to time. That’s it. That’s all he wants. That’s all I want.”

  “All I’m saying is to be careful. Don’t let good sex cloud your judgment and make you think you’re in love. You said it yourself; you are in a casual relationship, a fling. Unless you’re both changing the rules, you need to remember that.”

  “This conversation is going in circles. I. Am. Not. In. Love. With. Ben. Can we drop this now? Please?” I huff.

  “Fine.” She holds her hands up, surrendering. “I love you Jules, you know that? Please don’t be mad at me,” she pleads.

  I sigh heavily. Despite Allie’s nosey-body warnings and drudging up this topic again and again, deep down, I know her heart is in the right place.

  “Yes, I know. I’m not mad. I love you too. Stop with the lectures and finish packing.”

  “Okay.” She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tight.

  ~o0o~

  “Allie, are you ready? We have to get moving. Ben’s waiting in the car.”

  “Yeah, yeah. I’m ready. Do you have everything? The gifts, whatever food you had to bring?”

  “Yes. The gifts are in the large bag by the door and the cheesecake is on the counter. I’ll get them.” I walk in the kitchen and grab the cheesecake I bought at the corner bakery. I take it out of the bakery box and transfer it to one of our plastic cake carriers. I know I’m not fooling anyone into thinking that I actually baked a cheesecake, but I like to keep up the illusion anyway.

  “Okay. I have my stuff. Let’s roll. Don’t want to keep Casual Ben waiting, do we?” Allie calls out.

  “Can you cut it with the Casual Ben crap, Al?”

  “I can try.” We both know she has no intention of stopping.

  We walk outside and Ben is parked in front, leaning on a Silver SUV. Why does he need such a big car? It must be a guy thing.

  “Big car, Ben. Overcompensating for something?” Allie gibes.

  “Good to see you too Allie,” Ben answers.

  “What kind of mileage do you get with this tank? Two miles to the gallon?” she teases.

  “Two and a half,” he jokes, rolling his eyes.

  “Nice to know you’re concerned about saving the planet.”

  “You can always take the bus if it offends you.” He smiles, displaying his dimples. Good, if the dimples come out, I know he’s enjoying trading jabs with Allie.

  “You need me Ben; I’m your ticket to the car pool lane.” Allie throws her bags in the back of the SUV and slides into the backseat.

  I stroll over to him and look up. “Hi,” I say softly, smiling shyly while I fidget with the pair of gloves in my hand.

  “Hi.” He smiles, grabbing the scarf wrapped around my neck toward him as he sweetly kisses my cheek.

  “Are we set?” I ask, running my hands down the lapel of his black wool topcoat.

  “All set,” he says. “You look nice.”

  “Thank you. You look nice too.” I reach up and brush a few strands of his hair to the side, gliding the back of my index finger down his cheek.

  He opens the passenger side door for me. There’s a small bag of roasted chestnuts on the seat. I look back to Ben. He shrugs. “I remembered you once said you liked roasted chestnuts. I picked up a bag from a street vendor on the way to get you. They’re still warm.”

  “I can’t believe you remembered. This is so sweet. Thank you.” I stand on my tiptoes and give him a quick peck on his cheek. He smiles as I climb into the car; he closes my door and walks around the car, sliding into the driver’s seat.

  With the car loaded with our gifts and overnight bags, Ben starts the engine and we’re off to New Jersey.

  “Ben, I hope you can stop ogling my friend for a little while and concentrate on the road. I’d like to get to my parents’ house in one piece,” Allie teases. Ben is ogling me? I stare out the passenger side window to hide my smile.

  “I’ll do my best, Allie.” He sounds annoyed. I think she’s getting under his skin.

  “So Ben, this is the first time you’re meeting Julia’s family. I hope she prepped you. There are a lot of them.”

  “I’m sure he’ll be just fine, Allison,” I tell her sternly.

  I love Allie, but she can be such a meddlesome pain in the ass.

  “They’re going to assume you’re her boyfriend, you know,” she snickers.

  “Well, we know better, don’t we?” I turn around from the front seat to face the back where Allie is sitting and frown at her, mouthing to her to shut the fuck up.

  She smiles and shrugs.

  “I’m taking a nap. Wake me up when we get to my parents’ house.” She bunches up her coat and leans on it as a pillow, closing her eyes.

  Finally. Peace at last.

  Traffic getting out of the city has been a nightmare. After a thirty-minute standstill, we’re just coming out of the Holland tunnel and are finally in New Jersey. I’m surfing through radio
stations trying to find the perfect Christmas song to listen to.

  “Christ, Julia, can you just pick a fucking station and stick with it?”

  “Calm down, Ben. I do this all the time. What’s eating you?”

  Crickets.

  Oh, I get it. “Are you nervous about meeting my family?” I ask.

  “I suppose I’m a little nervous about meeting your father.”

  “My father? Oh, you have nothing to worry about with my dad. If there’s anyone you should fear…it’s my sisters.”

  “Your sisters?”

  “Ben, if you think I’m crazy, wait until you meet my sisters.” I cup my hands over my mouth, hiding my grin.

  “Fucking great,” he mumbles under his breath.

  “I’m kidding.” I reach across and pat his arm. I’m not kidding.

  “Do they know about us, that we’re…?” I can tell he’s searching for the right word. I briefly wonder if I should let him stumble and see what he comes up with to describe us, but I crumble.

  “Friends?” I ask.

  “Yes. Friends.” He sighs, obviously relieved in my choice of words.

  “They know I have no interest in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I’ve told them that we’re friends. That’s what we are, aren’t we?” Well, friends who fuck like rabbits.

  “You can call it that. We’re having fun.”

  “I think we’ll leave out the fun part when talking about us to my family and leave it at friends. Work for you?”

  “Yes. That works for me.” So he’s just made it clear to me that he does not want to cross the casual line. Great, that’s all I want too. We’re definitely on the same page.

  ~o0o~

  We drop Allie off at her parents’ house a few blocks away from mine and continue on to my parents’ place.

  “Did you like growing up at the Jersey Shore?” he asks.

  “Yes, it was perfect. Tons to do in the summer, I always had a summer job and it’s dead in the winter. That’s when you could really enjoy the quiet of the beach.”

  “I bet you had plenty of summer romances?”

  “I wasn’t the local trash that the tourist boys had their flings with, but I did okay.”

  “A lot of making out under the boardwalk, hmm?”

  “A lady never kisses and tells,” I say coyly.

  “I wouldn’t like hearing about horny teenaged boys pawing at you, anyway.”

  “Then don’t ask.” I grin.

  Hmm…he doesn’t like hearing about me and other guys. It’s a good bet that he stuck his dick in half of the teenaged girls who lived around his parents’ summer Hamptons home and probably a few of their mothers. Why would Mr. Casual care about my past and who I was with? Is he joking or jealous? I’m going to kill Allie for planting these thoughts in my head.

  We pull up to my parents’ house. It’s a nightmare to park with cars already lined up and down the block. One disadvantage of belonging to a big family… parking spaces are scarce on holidays. Ben parks the car and sighs.

  “Ready for the insanity?” I ask with a cautious smile.

  “I suppose I have no choice, do I?”

  “No, you don’t.” I caress his cheek and smile warmly. He leans into my touch and smiles back, briefly closing his eyes.

  “Let’s get the show on the road, shall we?” He gets out of the car and pops open the trunk, removing the giant bag full of gifts and our overnight bags.

  “How many gifts do you have in here?”

  “Too many. My parents, nephews, nieces, grandparents.”

  “Nothing for your brothers and sisters?”

  “No, we stopped exchanging a few years ago. It got to be too expensive.”

  “I could see how that might drain your wallet.” This is coming from a trust fund baby who will never have to worry about money for the rest of his life. I wonder if he has a clue what it’s like to just scrape by.

  I grab the cheesecake from the back seat of the car and we walk to the front door. I glance over at Ben. He takes a deep breath, looking a little nervous. It’s pretty adorable, actually. I notice he’s holding a small gift, separate from the giant bag I brought. “What’s that you’re holding?” I ask.

  “Just something for your parents to thank them for the invite.”

  I lean over to him and give him a quick peck on his cheek. “That’s very sweet.”

  He rings the doorbell and stares straight ahead at the closed front door, rocking back and forth on his heels. I stare at him. “What?” He shrugs.

  “Ben, no one is going to hear the doorbell. Just walk in. You have no idea of the level of pandemonium you are walking into.”

  “Isn’t it rude to just barge in?”

  “Rude? It’s my parents’ house. I grew up here. It’ll always be my home. Come on.” I open the door and we walk in.

  The first thing that hits you is the mouth-watering aroma of Christmas Eve dinner. It immediately brings me back to my childhood. You can’t pinpoint any particular food because there are so many different scents wafting through the air at the same time.

  The next thing you notice is the noise level. It’s loud. Really loud. Adults talking over adults, children yelling. It’s the soothing sound of chaos, at least for me. I instantly feel a sense of peace. Home. Ben, on the other hand, looks a little shell-shocked. This is not for the faint at heart. I have to keep reminding myself that Ben is a newbie at these big family gatherings.

  I place my hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?” I ask.

  “Yes, I know you warned me about all of this, but it’s different coming face to face with it.”

  “Good different or bad different?”

  “That remains to be seen,” he answers anxiously. As the words leave his lips, we’re rushed by my eight-year-old niece, Olivia.

  “Are those presents, Aunt Julia?”

  “Yes, Liv. Can you take the bag and place the gifts under the tree for me?”

  “Sure.” She takes the bag from Ben and looks him over. “Who are you?”

  “I’m Ben.” He smiles. There’s no way those dimples are going to charm Olivia.

  She frowns; crossing her arms in front of her chest then narrows her eyes at me. “Where’s Michael?” she asks in a disapproving tone.

  “I don’t know Liv.”

  “He’s not your boyfriend anymore?”

  “No.” He’s probably out screwing some bimbo as we speak.

  She points her tiny index finger at Ben. “Is he your boyfriend?” she asks. Could this be any more mortifying? Why must children be so curious and honest?

  “Ben is my friend.”

  She frowns, pursing her lips. “I liked Michael.” Of course she did, he was great at fooling everyone, all the while he was the devil in disguise sticking his tiny pitchfork in any whore willing to spread her legs for him.

  “Well…we aren’t friends anymore. Why don’t you take care of the gifts?”

  “Okay. See ya.” She grabs the bag and drags it off to the Christmas tree.

  Hopefully, the Olivia inquisition will be the only line of questioning we’ll have to endure, although I have my doubts.

  “Kids.” I shrug, embarrassed. “Come on, let’s get this over with.” I hold his hand and we walk into the kitchen.

  The kitchen is the hub of my parents’ house, where everyone eventually ends up. My mom is there with my two sisters, busying themselves with food preparation….sort of. My mom is busy frying something over the stove and my sisters are watching her while drinking their wine.

  “Hello. I’m here,” I call out.

  “Julia!” My mom rushes to me and kisses both cheeks.

  “Mom, this is Ben.”

  “Mrs. Conti, it’s very nice to meet you.” He extends his hand out to shake hers. She looks at his hand and looks back at me. We both laugh. A handshake from my mother? Oh no, that will never do. She grabs his face and kisses his cheek.

  “Ben, it’s very nice to meet you. Julia never mentioned
how handsome you are. You’ll make very good looking babies someday.”

  “Mom!” My face heats up. I know I’m bright red, mortified. My family has no filters.

  “Thank you Mrs. Conti.” He chuckles.

  “Please, call me Rose.” She rests her hand on his chest. I forgot to mention to Ben that my mom is a very tactile woman. He’ll figure that out.

  “Very well, Rose.” He nods.

  “Ben, these are my sisters. It’ll do you good to beware of them….Sophie and Isabelle.”

  “Hi Ben, welcome to the jungle,” Sophie jokes as she hugs him. I guess I should have warned Ben that all the Conti women are tactile.

  “Sophie, it’s nice to meet you.” He politely hugs her back.

  “So you’re Julia’s friend. Just how friendly are you?” Isabelle chimes in.

  “Shut up, Isabelle. Go find another place to stick your nose.” I turn toward Ben. “Just ignore them. They don’t get out much.” I glare at Isabelle. She sticks out her tongue.

  And I’m supposed to be the baby in the family.

  “I’m going to get the rest of the introductions over with so Ben can relax.”

  I grab Ben’s hand and drag him into the dining room. My dad is sitting at the head of the table with my grandparents seated on his right. My three brothers, their wives and brother-in-laws are scattered around the table. Everyone is conversing at the same time.

  “We tend to speak over each other,” I whisper to Ben. We walk toward my dad and I lean down to kiss his cheek. “Hi Daddy.”

  “Hey JuJu Bean.” He gently grabs my face and kisses my cheek.

  “Dad, this is Ben. Ben, my father, Frank.”

  “Mr. Conti, it’s nice to meet you.” They shake hands.

  “Ben, my daughter tells me you’re a writer.”

  “Yes sir. I just completed a book about the Mets.”

  “The Mets, huh? Glad to hear you support the right team.”

  “Uh, Dad. Ben is a Yankees fan.”

  “Nice knowing you, Ben. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” he jokes. Well, I think he’s joking.

  “Julia has pointed out the error of my ways a few times, Mr. Conti.”

  “It might do you good to listen to her, son,” he says firmly.

  “My dad takes his teams very seriously.” I turn toward my grandparents. “Grandma and Grandpa, this is Ben. Ben, my dad’s parents Marie and Vito.”