by AC Netzel
He briefly looks down to the floor shaking his head then back up at me. His eyes are glassy, his expression serious. He takes my hands in his and gazes longingly into my eyes. “Julia, you are my Christmas Eve.”
He takes in a deep breath, shifting in his seat. “I’m twenty eight years old and on a warm day in October, I met the love of my life. I didn’t know it. I just didn’t know.” His voice cracks, raw with emotion. This is his confession. He looks vulnerable… maybe even a little fearful.
My mouth falls open, completely astounded. I think back to the night Ben showed up at my apartment, his drunken mumblings of “I didn’t know” on my couch, that’s what he was talking about. I place my hand over my mouth. I’m stunned speechless. Did he just say he loves me? He loves me? Tears well in my eyes as this man bares his soul to me.
“I realized this was my fork in the road. I had to either love you or step away and watch someone else love you. I don’t know if you’re still seeing that guy. I hope I haven’t missed my chance,” he asks apprehensively.
“He’s not my boyfriend. He never was.”
“He’s not? I thought you and him were…” He sighs. I look into his eyes and see his pain.
I shake my head. “No,” I say as I try my best to hold myself together.
He exhales a huge breath as his entire body noticeably relaxes.
My mind is blank. Completely blank, like it shut itself off. I look out the window to find my thoughts and see a small folding table set up in front of one of the windows. On it are two daisies in two separate terracotta pots, their long stems twisted together. I frown and look back at Ben.
He notices my confusion. “I bought those after you left me. You said I treated our relationship like a flower that I waited to wilt, die and then replace. I needed to prove to myself that I could nurture them and watch them grow,” he explains.
“Why?”
He shrugs apologetically. “So I could give you the garden. At first I had them on my coffee table. After about three weeks, they got long and lanky. They turned toward the windows, straining for the sunshine. I got this folding table and set it up in front of the window and placed them on it. I thought they were going to die. When I came back from your apartment the day after Sinful, I found them like this, wrapped around each other, entwined. I didn’t think daisies did that. But these did. They were holding each other up like they belonged together… Like us.”
“Ben, what are you telling me?”
“Since you left, I’ve just been going through the motions. But it feels so empty. I was always afraid that a relationship would complicate things, but I met you and… the truth is... falling for you was simple. Look at you… you’re smart, funny, loving, and the most beautiful woman I have ever met. The truth is I didn’t stand a chance. Deep down, I knew it.
I want to be a part of your life. Everyday. I want to call you because I miss hearing your voice. I want to hold your hand and take long strolls through Central Park in the spring. I want to make out with you under the boardwalk at Seaside Heights and win you ugly crane game prizes. I want to laugh with you, cry with you… love you.
I want to be your boyfriend.”
He pulls me close, grabbing my face in his hands. “I love you Julia. I’m empty without you. I’m nothing. And I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry I hurt you. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I don’t know if it’s too late. If you don’t want me anymore or you can’t forgive me for hurting you. But if there’s even a slight chance that I’m still somewhere in your heart… that you still love me, even a little. I hope you’ll consider it. My heart is yours.” He softly caresses my cheek, looking lovingly into my eyes. “It’s always been you, Julia. It will only be you. I don’t know how to feel any other way.”
I can no longer hold back my tears. His eyes are glassy, our connection stronger than ever.
He loves me.
“Can I hold you? Please?” His voice cracks. I feel his pain, his longing, his fear.
Words have left me as tears stream down my cheeks. I can only nod, my love for him overpowering the hurt and anger.
He sweeps me into his arms. They’re wrapped tightly around me, like he’s afraid to let me go, kissing my hair again and again. It takes my breath away. I throw my arms around his neck, holding him just as tightly. “I missed you. I missed you so much,” he whispers.
“Ben.” My voice chokes up.
“Julia, Julia. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he mutters softly. “I love you. Please don’t tell me it’s too late. I love you so much,” he groans into my neck. I hear the desperation in his plea.
I look up at him and he has tears in his eyes. “I love you too,” I breathe. I lift my hand up to his face and caress his cheek. He closes his eyes tightly, like he’s absorbing my words.
He opens his eyes and tilts my face up to him. We kiss and it’s different this time. He belongs to me, all of him and I feel it. I really feel it. I know he loves me. Truly loves me.
And that’s all I need to know.
He holds me tight, rocking me back and forth, whispering my name over and over, like he can’t believe I’m here. My tears won’t stop, as I sob into his shirt.
“Hey, please don’t cry,” he says as he wipes the tears trickling down my face with the back of his knuckle.
I look up at him and smile. “I just never thought it was possible that we’d have a happy ending.”
“Ending?” He smiles warmly, his eyes shining with his love. “Oh Julia, this is our beginning.”
~o0o~
Epilogue:
3 weeks later…
I’m bored out of my mind, listening to a newly signed author drone on and on about his Zombie Clown Killer trilogy ideas when my cell phone vibrates on my desk. Discreetly, I cup my hand over it, slide it toward me, and place it on my lap. I tap the message icon and read the text.
*What time are you leaving work?*
*Don’t know. Stuck with chatty author.*
*Get rid of him. I miss you.*
*You just saw me this morning.*
*It’s been 8 hours. Too long. Are you wearing the boots I like?*
*You already know I am.*
*You know what I said about those boots in the workplace. Desk sex tonight.*
*Will you wear the glasses?*
*I will.*
*Ok. I’m getting rid of this guy. See you soon.*
*Good. I love you.*
*I love you too.*
About the Author
AC Netzel
I’m an Accidental Writer, a wife and mother of a daughter and son who are infinitely smarter and more mature than me. I found that writing a book was a great way to get out of housework, so I ran with it. I have a sarcastic streak and love to laugh.
I like to write about women with a little snark and their relationships with the men they love and the friends they keep. I may seem like a cynic when you first meet me, but truth is I’m a Happily Ever After girl.
My Blog: ACNetzel.com
Facebook: Author AC Netzel : http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-AC-Netzel
Twitter: www.twitter.com/ACNetzel
.
*DPGROUP.ORG*
Table of Contents
Acknowledgements
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Epilogue:
About the Author
&
nbsp;
