Turn for Home

by Lara Zielinsky

  While in the dimly lit restaurant, she had relaxed, with Cassidy's encouragement. Now Brenna was stiff, withdrawn, as she had been when she caught sight of the one reporter looking past the other couple he had come to track. The look on his face was as if he was mentally sifting through an album of celebrity images, and she had looked quickly to be sure that Cassidy was mostly in shadow.

  Cassidy's touch had relaxed her, but the enjoyment had gone from their time together.

  Though they were alone now, Cassidy did not take her hand as they walked through the dark lot. "Do you think we've got a problem?" Brenna asked.

  Cassidy did take her hand then, which made Brenna smile.

  "I don't want our relationship splashed through the papers as something tawdry. Maybe we should work with our agencies to generate some positive press before it becomes a negative issue."

  Brenna sighed and briefly rested her head against Cassidy's shoulder, jostling with its movement as they walked. "If I could get the divorce decree done tomorrow, I would."

  "In an ideal world," Cassidy lamented.

  "I'll bug my lawyer to see what she can do to hurry things up."

  Their conversation stopped as they entered the child care trailer and found Karen sitting reading a magazine while Ryan slept soundly on a cot. Cassidy gingerly picked him up, and Brenna took his backpack from Karen.

  Once outside, Cassidy spoke more quietly, as she asked, "Have you spoken with Kevin recently?"

  Brenna swallowed. She had, and the conversation had not gone comfortably. "He's hurting, but...he's got his daughters to consider, as well as his campaign hopes. I don't want to hurt Ellie or Marie, either, so I've spoken with them."

  "How are they taking it?"

  "Marie — she's older — says that she knows a girl in her classes who likes girls, and in class they've talked about homosexual relationships."

  Cassidy winced. "It sounds like a 'but' is coming."

  "But she says it's weird because I 'don't wear fatigues or dress like a boy'." Brenna sounded as aghast as her expression suggested.

  Cassidy chuckled. "Clearly high school is not filled with 'lipstick lesbians'." Brenna looked disturbed. "What's wrong?"

  "I never thought there would be a 'type' I was expected to be."

  "So, what Marie said bothered you? Don't worry, Bren." Cassidy adjusted Ryan in her arms and leaned in to kiss her. "It's not like I have expectations of it all either. I fell in love with you exactly as you are."

  "And when the press asks, which you know they will?"

  "How much did you say to them about your relationship with Kevin?"

  "They never really asked me. Kevin talked about it. I did the usual pre-wedding spreads in Celebrity Monthly and People."

  "Publicity." Cassidy nodded. "I guess we have to think about it, but..." She frowned. "I'm not really interested in 'coming out' and playing some political angle. What we have means a lot to me, and it's private."

  "We don't want it tainted or misconstrued."

  "Exactly." When they reached her car in the parking lot, Cassidy put Ryan in his seat in the back.

  Cassidy started to lower herself into her driver's seat, then stopped. "Bren?"

  "Yes?" Brenna leaned on the frame of the open door.

  "I'll see you tomorrow?"

  Brenna was disappointed that their conversation was at an end. "Yeah."

  Cassidy's leaned across the car door and nuzzled Brenna's cheek. "I'm just not ready yet to share you with the rest of the world."

  "Oh." As she stepped back, Brenna knew her blush was evident, even in the low lighting of the parking lot. "I'll see you tomorrow."

  Brenna fought against the melancholy which welled up as she watched Cassidy drive away. She quickly went to her own vehicle and followed Cassidy's car out of the lot, turning right when Cassidy turned left. She didn't see the vehicle which turned and followed her to the outskirts of her Pacific Palisades neighborhood turning off its lights in the parking lot of a darkened corner store '

  Chapter 5

  The next morning Cassidy woke to the insistent ringing of the telephone. Glancing at the clock, she saw that there were still ten minutes before her alarm was supposed to sound. Rubbing her eyes, she glanced at the caller ID and quickly picked up. "Bren? Something wrong?"

  "We're in the papers."

  Brenna sounded flustered.

  Cassidy sat up, brushing her hair from her face with one hand while adjusting the phone against her ear with the other. "What?"

  "Entertainment wrap up. That reporter with the photos must've been a freelancer."

  "He said he was with the Virginia Dispatch."

  "That lying sack of-"

  "Whoa!" Cassidy cut into Brenna's vehement outburst. "We don't know that. What exactly does the caption say?" She wished she could read over Brenna's shoulder; her own copy of the L.A. Times was still on her front stoop.

  "'Not known for their close association, Brenna Lanigan and Cassidy Hyland were both seen at the opening night of Suede's tour stop at Jazzy Jay's. According to the wait staff, the couple shared a check, ducking out separately during the uproar surrounding the arrival of current hot-n-heavy couple, Jeff Masters and Gail Oberlain.'"

  "That doesn't sound too bad. We might get a few questions on press day about it, but truthfully, we can say we're friends and we went out for a break after work."

  She could not see Brenna's face, but envisioned the half smile at her response, "Nothing more than friends?"

  Cassidy chuckled. "We don't have to say any more."

  "All right. I'll practice my straight face."

  That made Cassidy laugh outright. "See you in an hour on set?"

  "Are you bringing Ryan again today?"

  "Yes."

  "I'll see you in an hour then. Love you."

  Cassidy heard the sound of a blown kiss through the phone and offered one in return.

  "Love you, too."

  "What's up with you and her?" Max asked Brenna as she responded yet again to a wave from the blonde passing through the soundstage.

  She erased her expressive smile and turned back to Max. "What's up?"

  "I know we haven't worked together in a while, but I seem to remember you being a little more focused at work."

  Brenna considered for a moment and then decided it would be a good opportunity to share a little of how much better she felt about her life in general with a long-time, close friend. "Max, I'm a lot happier now than I have been on a set in a long while. The work's not any easier, but it's more fun."

  "Like at the beginning?"

  "Something like that, I guess. But now I know what I'm doing, so the shine's off of the business and more on the...relationships I am building."

  Max's brow furrowed. "Isn't Time Trails about to finish up?"

  "Yes. These are good people. Did you know..." She trailed off, thinking that she didn't want to mention Cassidy first. "Terry Brown has a playhouse in La Jolla. He's invited me to join up."

  "Plays? So you're thinking of leaving the small screen behind?"

  "I don't know about full time. I've also got a movie in England in April."

  "A movie? You haven't been this busy since Thomas and James were very young."

  Brenna noticed Cassidy standing at the edge of a temporary wall. "Why don't we go to lunch and we'll catch up?"

  "Am I going to get a home-cooked meal?"

  "Nope. Commissary." She smiled, stood, and waved Cassidy over. "Do you mind if Cass joins us?"

  "I...well..." Max hesitated and then shrugged. "I guess not."

  Brenna was already moving to catch Cassidy's attention. "Cass, will you join us for lunch?" she called.

  Cassidy turned, and for a moment her features registered surprise. "All right."

  Brenna watched Cassidy's appraisal of Max as he stood to his full height. He was an imposing man, dark hair and thick, and he was assessing Cassidy right back.

  Brenna stepped between them, reasoning that she wasn't j
ealous but unable to articulate why the mutual study bothered her. "Let's go."

  Cassidy's gaze dropped to meet hers, and the quick sure smile eased the knot which had started to form in her stomach. "How long have you known Bren?" Cassidy asked Max.

  "More than twenty years," he replied. Brenna caught Cassidy's surprised glance at her. Brenna's unease started up again until Max gleefully added, "So, how many dirty secrets do you want to know?" She turned in time to catch his wink.

  Cassidy laughed out loud, and Max offered them each an arm. While Cassidy took the left with alacrity, Brenna was slower to take his right. She caught Max's eye and lowered her brow. His smile did nothing to assure he understood her unspoken plea.

  Max is a lovely man, Cassidy thought, as she laughed at another story of a prank he had played on Brenna when he took her out for her first legal drink.

  "She wanted a Long Island Iced Tea, having heard they contained several varieties of alcohol. I had the waiter bring plain tea, sweetened. I kept telling her if the drink was properly made, a person shouldn't taste the alcohol, which is true. She drank three rounds before she realized she wasn't anywhere near tipsy."

  He rubbed his shoulder. "Still hurts when it rains," he said with mild accusation, but a broad smile.

  "When I finally had a real Long Island, I actually couldn't tell the difference, but I had watched the bartender make it."

  Stifling a chortle, Max bit into the deli turkey sandwich. "In another life, Bren, you were definitely a teetotaler."

  "I snuck alcohol at home a few times before I was legal," Cassidy admitted. Brenna's gaze held hers for a moment with a gentle smile. "My father would have killed me if he knew."

  "So what's your choice these days?" Max asked.

  "Wine or Irish coffee," Cassidy answered.

  "Did you introduce her?" Max asked Brenna.

  "No," Brenna replied with a smile. "Just something we found we have in common."

  Cassidy nodded. Catching sight of a clock, she realized abruptly she had better go. "Wow. I didn't realize how long we've been at this. This has been very interesting, but I think I'd better go see how Ryan's doing and get back to Terry for rehearsals."

  "I'm going to send Max to his hotel in another hour, and then I'll come and watch," Brenna said as Cassidy stood up.

  "All right."

  "Come on, Bren, not even a single home-cooked meal?" Max sighed.

  "You should take Max home, Bren, and catch up. I'll see you tomorrow."

  Brenna nodded, but Cassidy could tell that Brenna was bothered by their separation. Frustrated by her inability to communicate openly with Brenna, Cassidy left quickly.

  "Max, let's go." Brenna stood as soon as Cassidy was out of sight. "The sooner we get the blocking done, the sooner we can get going."

  He hadn't risen. "Bren, are you upset that I'm here?"

  "Of course not. It was a surprise, but it's good to see you."

  "You forget how well I know you. What's wrong?"

  Retrenching, Brenna realized she had to take Max home. "Max, it's all right. I'm sorry. It is good to see you, and I'll take you and Brady home to see James and Thomas tonight."

  "You'd rather she came along, though."

  Brenna glanced toward the door through which Cassidy had gone. "She's the newest member of the ensemble."

  "Bren, I read entertainment news, too. She was your 'date' the other day, right?" He didn't make the motion, but she heard the quotation marks in his pause over the word.

  She sighed. She couldn't lie to him. "Max, will you accept that I can't discuss this here?"

  He stood. "Will we eventually?"

  Brenna looked away again, thinking about how to talk to Max, her oldest friend, about her newest lover. He had been with her through some of the toughest times of her life, but she still had no idea what he would think. Eventually, she just didn't answer his question. "Let's go finish our blocking." She led the way back to the soundstage, where they spent the rest of the afternoon.

  Will and Sean were working with Brady, Max's son, when Cassidy arrived back at the set. "How's it going?" she asked, as Sean stepped back from a position pretending to hold a weapon.

  "The bad guys have been apprehended," he said with a broad smile.

  "Need any help from me?" she asked, picking up her script from a navy blue canvas chair nearby.

  Will thumped Brady on the back. "Well, 'Heatherly Junior' here seems to like the ladies."

  She circled around, smiling as Brady's gaze followed her. Divide and conquer?" she said pointedly to Sean.

  Sean laughed. "All right. Let's stage this thing again."

  The four separated to their marks for the beginning of the scene, and the walk-through began, allowing her to put real life from her mind for a little while as she inhabited Chris Hanssen's life and times.

  Chapter 6

  Brenna cleared the table while the four males sat around it talking. Thomas and James had both come home in time for the late dinner she'd put together for Max, Brady, and herself. She had sheepishly told Max that she wasn't sure what her sons were planning for the evening, but she had made enough for everyone in case they did show.

  Thomas was in the process of explaining the FIRE program to Max, who listened and asked about a variety of conservation topics. Brady had fallen into conversation with James, who seemed more open with him than Brenna had seen her son with any of his peers in a while. They talked about art shows and something called a CAP project, which apparently had to do with public school art programs partnering with galleries.

  Each time Brenna had injected a comment, her sons would nod, but seldom responded, so she had decided to vacate the room.

  She looked at the phone several times as she passed between the dining table and the sink, and after washing the last dish, she retreated to her bedroom and called Cassidy.

  The phone rang twice before Cassidy picked up.

  "Hello?"

  "It's Bren. How did the rest of your day go?"

  "Quietly. Ryan and I got home about twenty-five minutes ago. I just put him in the tub. How's dinner with Max and Brady?"

  "They're enjoying conversation with Thomas and James." Brenna settled on her bed and stretched out her legs. She reached for the neighboring pillow and hugged it against her lap. It was a poor substitute for Cassidy's head there but a firm comfort as they talked.

  Cassidy must have heard the resignation in her voice. "Is it going well?"

  "Now that I'm out of the way, I think it is."

  "Bren, I'm sorry."

  Brenna exhaled. "I'm sorry, too. I don't know that Max senses anything wrong. He hasn't seen the boys since they were in grade school."

  "Before Time Trails then. Max seems like a fun guy. Did you ever date?"

  Brenna detected the undercurrent. "It...no, he's just known me a long time."

  "Would he be surprised, do you think?"

  "Surprised? About us? At least."

  "So that's why you were off at lunch," Cassidy probed.

  "No, I was off at lunch because he was giving you a very deliberate once-over. Didn't you notice?"

  Cassidy's laugh was light through the phone, and it made Brenna smile.

  "I was too busy tamping down butterflies every time you looked at me."

  "So, I'll see you at work tomorrow?"

  "See you."

  "Love you, Cass."

  "Love you, too, Bren. Good night."

  "Sleep well."

  Brenna rejoined Max after Thomas and James turned in for the night, taking Brady with them to set up the game room space for sleeping. "Anything for you?" she asked Max, going into the refrigerator for fruit juice.

  "A little straight talk," he replied.

  He joined her in the kitchen, standing in the middle of the entry arch, leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest as he considered her.

  "All right. What do you want to know?"

  "Will you tell me about you and Cassidy?"

  S
he leaned against the counter, crossing her arms over her chest in imitation. "It's a long story."

  "Then why don't we go out to the pool deck? It's a nice night, and we can sit as long as we need to without any interruptions."

  Brenna exhaled. He had never let her get away with anything for very long. "All right."

  Out on the deck, she sat on the bench swing and he settled in next to her, leaned back, and put his arm across the back of the bench. Brenna leaned forward, starting the swing rocking. She remembered sitting there with Kevin, just like that, when her own recognition of her irrevocably changed feelings had finally dawned on her.

  "You haven't asked about Kevin," she said.

  Something on the side table had drawn his attention but now he turned back. "The politician you married?"

  "Yes. He...I...we're not going to be married much longer."

  "So you're getting a divorce." He nodded at some silent thought. "Doesn't surprise me."

  "It doesn't?"

  "Brenna, I...when you're excited about something, you always share it with me and Mary." He looked down at his feet then back up at her. "I knew something was up when I read about your marriage in the paper instead of hearing about it from you."

  "I'm sorry. I apologize."

  "I'm not upset about that. I am upset that it took you a year to realize he was wrong for you."

  "Just a little longer than that," she admitted. "It's not his fault, though."

  "So he was a good guy?"

  "Yes. I just wasn't suited to him."

  "You're more suited..." He seemed hesitant to make the leap of logic.

  "To Cassidy. She and I began an intimate relationship a little more than a month ago." She braced herself for any number of possible negative reactions.

  "I don't think I've ever known you to have feelings for a woman before."

  His observation wasn't particularly negative, just unexpected. She relaxed marginally. "I haven't."

  "She's quite a bit younger, isn't she?"

  "She's thirty-two. Her son Ryan is five."

  "Does she have a history?"

  Brenna knew what he meant. "A youthful episode. She says she never gave it much meaning."

  "She seduced you?"

  Brenna smiled. "No."

  "So you..."