So Lucky
Page 28
‘Yummy,’ she says. So happy.
A text message from Liam comes in.
Just checking in, are you guys OK? I’ve been worried.
We’re fine. It went as expected with Mum. Let’s call it closure shall we?
I’m proud of you, Rubes.
Thanks. Hey, maybe we can have dinner Monday night, when we are back. 8pm at my house?
Sure, but isn’t that a bit late for Bonnie?
Who said anything about Bonnie being there?
I put my phone on silent and drop it back into my bag.
‘Do you want one of my chips, Mummy?’ Bonnie asks me. I tell her no. We sit for a few moments. Her eating, me staring out to sea. The smell of the vinegar makes my tummy rumble.
‘OK, maybe just one,’ I say, taking a big, fat chip that is all soggy and soft.
It really is delicious.
Lauren Pearce – Instagram post
@OfficialLP
The picture is of two little girls. Both blonde. They are in a park in pretty summer dresses. Their arms wrapped around each other, they are smiling and look full of joy.
The caption reads:
Excuse my radio silence, I’ve had a lot on my mind ;) One is how I can get through life being more my authentic self. In the past few weeks I have read so many judgements from strangers about who I am. So little of it is true. There is something I have never shared publicly, because I have been too afraid to be identified by it. I realise now that was wrong. This picture is of me and my sister Verity. Verity died when I was five. She was two years older than me and she was the best big sister in the world. Her death was an accident and it shook my family and damaged us all in ways that may never be fixed. I’ve found talking about Verity impossible for my whole life. Until now. If I don’t admit and accept that her death is a part of who I am then I will never be happy. I’ve tried to pin my identity to other things – my body, a marriage, fame. But none of that was real. What is real is that I think about her every day. I remember the way she smelt, the softness of her skin, the texture of her hair, the sound of her laugh. I remind myself so much of her that I can’t cope with the way that I look. I want to be happier within myself, and that will come by accepting her death, and not trying to hide it for fear of it hurting me even more. This is the first day of my new life. A life where I accept myself for all that I am, and I don’t deny myself my truth.
I am Lauren Pearce. I am sad and often afraid. I must ask for help. I am stronger than I think. I am in control of my life, and with the right people around me, I can get through anything. I miss my sister, I want to be happy. Oh, and I am single (wink wink). Who are you?
Acknowledgements
As always, thanks to my editor Kimberley Young and everyone at HarperCollins, for always encouraging me to push my words to the limits and being extremely patient throughout the process of giving birth to books and babies.
My agent, Adrian Sington, for always having my back and always giving me the best reviews.
Thank you to Clara Francis for helping me work Ruby out. You are a force, and our chats really helped me put her together. You narrating her part for the audiobook is even more magical. Thank you!
The Jane Club – a work space full of women where I take my baby and do a full 9–5. Why is that so unique? It shouldn’t be. Thank you to all of the ‘Janes’ for your support and cheering on. I sat in the corner for months, barely looking up, and thrashed out this novel. Someone was always there for a chat or a cuddle when I came up for air. This place exists and that is a magical thing. Shawnta’s cuddles should be sold in bottles, and everyone needs a Hailey.
To the other Janes in my life (what is it with all these Janes?): my sister and aunty. So much of you both is in me. I’m so inspired by you both every single day. I love you.
Michelle, Kelly, Mel and all your kids and husbands. My LA family. Thank goodness we have each other. Thanks for listening to me go on and on AGAIN about how hard my writing process is. Oddly, that part of the process is very helpful. Even if it’s not that much fun for you guys.
Jane and Lou, my Dickheads. I MISS YOU! Louise, I write about friendship because I miss ours every day. I don’t know why we live on different sides of the world, but we are nearly there with the kids being old enough for us to bugger off on a ‘Mummies holiday.’ See you on the beach, baby!
My Nancy Poo Poo’s. You will forever be my poo, bum, willy, booby, friend. Your family is our family, we love you all so much.
Fergus, thanks for always being so generous and kind. The use of your office made great things happen over the past few years. Endlessly grateful.
Eloise, thanks for saying the first line of this novel so casually in a conversation, and basically inspiring the whole thing.
Thanks to the man who moved me off the park bench, so that he could clean it with wet wipes as it was dedicated to his daughter. I don’t know you, but that moment we shared changed me forever.
Thank you, Mary Moo, for loving my babies. We will miss you so much. How will I get through writing books without you?
Thank you, Joanna, for loving my furry babies. Potato is very grateful. I think Lilu is too, but it’s hard to tell.
Chris, my darling husband. We achieve a lot, and we parent well. I don’t know how we do it, but we do. I wouldn’t have done it with anyone else. I watch you with the boys and can’t believe how lucky they are that you are their dad. We love you.
Art and Valentine, my two little guys. Thanks for the love and the material. You bring me (almost) constant joy. I love being your mum. I even like how hard you make writing. I like how motivated I have to be. I like that you distract me from total despair when I am on a deadline, even if I don’t realise it at the time. My goodness, we are going to have so much fun.
Thanks to anyone I didn’t mention here but should have. The rest of my family, the rest of my friends. I’ve been writing solidly for months, my eyes and fingers hurt. Know that if you encourage me, help me or support me in any way, I am extremely grateful.
Dawn x
DON’T MISS THE ‘SO LUCKY’ PODCAST SERIES
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*Aren’t we all so bloody lucky?*
But, often, we only get to see one version of someone – and usually only the best. In this fast, funny, frank new podcast series, Dawn O’Porter peels back the layers with a variety of guests to explore all the sides to their stories; the good and the bad, the ups and downs, the lucky and the unlucky moments.
There’ll be a new episode once a week, so hit subscribe in your favourite podcast app to get each one as it drops!
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About the Author
Dawn O’Porter lives in Los Angeles with her husband Chris, her two boys Art and Valentine, and her cat Lilu and dog Potato.
Dawn started out in TV production but quickly landed in front of the camera, making numerous documentaries for the BBC and Channel 4, the most famous being her immersive investigations of polygamy, size zero, childbirth, free love, breast cancer and the movie Dirty Dancing. Further TV work included This Old Thing, a prime-time Channel 4 show celebrating the wonders of vintage clothing.
Dawn’s journalism has appeared in multiple UK publications and she was also the monthly columnist for Glamour magazine. She is now a full-time writer of six books – although she would probably have written sixteen if it weren’t for her addiction to Instagram Stories.
Most recently, Dawn has written the script for Especially for You, a jukebox musical using the infamous Stock Aitken Waterman back catalogue. She is also interviewing a variety of guests for her new ‘So Lucky’ podcast series.
www.dawnoporter.co.uk
/DawnOPorter
@hotpatooties
@hotpatooties
Also by Dawn O’Porter
The Cows
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